Loralee's Looney Tunes | A little crazy. A lot of fun.

I miscarried.

July 15, 2012 By loralee 90 Comments

I miscarried.

(WHY is that so freaking difficult to say?)

I wasn’t going to tell the internet, because I hadn’t even had time to process it and tell my close friends and family that I WAS pregnant.

I’m not really sure how I feel right now.

I wasn’t sure how I felt when I was pregnant.

I am ashamed enough to admit that there was a portion of me that actually HOPED this would happen. Who does that??? I will probably hate myself a very long time for it.

I was really early so nothing like a D&C necessary. I probably wouldn’t have even known I was miscarrying (Other than it was pretty painful and…other stuff) but I was very late and so I had it confirmed.

I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. But I was getting happier. I was hoping that I had the strength to do it. AND I was very happy that I had one pregnancy where I wasn’t drinking Diet Coke.

And then it happened.

It started out that we all had stomach flu (which I suspect was really food poisoning) everyone was getting better than me….and then it started happening.

And then it was gone.

Part of me is gone.

(My apologies to the Evo staff and Jyl Patee, Jill Greenlaw and my fellow volunteers and brands that I had appointments to meet with. I’m so sorry this happened right before the conference and I left you all with additional duties. I never slack on my duties. I hope you understand.)

I was going to go to church today. Jonathan took the boys. I am in NO state to be there.

I’m in no state to be anywhere.

Especially in my own head.

I have questions…so many, many, questions.

Would I have finally gotten my redheaded girl?

Do they even exist anymore or are they just…gone?

I know I have 3 living children and one that passed away, but do I have 4 children or 5?

Will I ever stop blaming myself?

Will I ever stop loving something I only knew was alive for a week?

I don’t know if I’ll ever have answers to any of these questions or not.

I feel a little lost and alone.

I’m not sure that feeling is going to change for awhile.

And I’m not sure that’s not exactly what I deserve.

Filed Under: Every Day 90 Comments

Remember the plaigiarist I had in 2008 turned con artist? Yup.MORE victims and a new name: Maliya Bergman. Yippee.

July 10, 2012 By loralee 9 Comments

Remember the plagiarist that was reveled to me in 2008 about this time? I’m writing because she’s apparently opened up shop AGAIN only changed her name. Probably because my blog is the top thing you find when you google her name. What used to be Mia Szazbo Bergman(married to Ben Bergman) is now going by the moniker Maliya Bergman with a new blog: http://bouquetofbubbly.blogspot.com/

Well, we found out as people investigated that it was a LOT more than just plagiarism. This woman is one of the most heartless women ever to walk the earth. I continually hear from her victims and what she has done to them. The worst is it is old friends and family she works on Facebook that is just…sick.

And this has been going on or FOUR YEARS PEOPLE.

(Oh, and apparently she explains my blog by telling people I’m a crazy friend of her ex. Yeeeeah….whatev.)

If you’re interested in reading the original blog post with HUNDREDS of comments feel free http://loraleeslooneytunes.com/2008/07/15/hey-plagiarism/

I got an email tonight saying that she has a new blog (likely ripped off from other people.) you should check it out before she shuts it down or makes it private. (Because my goal in all of this is to shut her down when I can and to make sure that there is at least ONE less victim who googles her name before falling prey to her.

She’s a waste of oxygen. I’ve heard from SO MANY OF HER VICTIMS. Some to the tune of tens of thousands of dollars. She has some tried and true scams like needed to desperately sell a bunch of designer handbags and a really reduced price. But TA-DA…the money comes and the victim is blocked from all forms of communication from her. They also get excuse after excuse. (She told people that her DAUGHTER DIED. So that pretty much says that she is one of the sickest people to walk the earth.)

Luckily, some have read my blog before giving the slimeball any money, but what is heartbreaking are those that don’t. One man is out 30K.

I continue to feel frustrated that no one seems to be able to do anything legally to her.

Because even if her victims can’t recover their money (probably long spent on her luxurious lifestyle) would be a picture of her in an orange jumpsuit paying for her crimes would be truly, truly, satisfying.

Filed Under: :*( 9 Comments

HOWDY!

July 3, 2012 By loralee 22 Comments

I know it’s been quite some time since I posted but there is a really good reason why.

I HAVE BEEN LIVING MY LIFE!

I’ve managed to get the farmer’s market on Saturday with my family.

I often cook at least the family meal at dinner (and often more).

I work in my little garden and try to keep it watered and maintained.

I haven’t managed to keep my ENTIRE house clean all at once but I often clean the downstairs level before I go to bed. (And breathe in the loveliness of it before the hurricanes known as my children can wake up and mess it up the next day.) (THAT said, I LOVE cleaning with Aaron. He is such a cute and hard little worker. His favorite jobs are cleaning off all the chairs and vacuuming. I swear that kid could vacuum all day if we let him.) (Which is really tempting since the vacuum is so much taller than he is.)

I bought an authentic COACH bag for under $100 (I KNOW, RIGHT?! I LOVE INTERNET BOUTIQUE SALES!) and it is so pretty it takes my breath away. It looks dark red but it is a super dark aubergine. I LOVE IT.

I take Butterlump and the kids to the park with my adorable little Maltese, Lady, so that they can play and Lady can get her energy needs met and I can get my exercise needs in.

I’ve taken my wee one (Again, with my parents as I can’t drive with the pain killers I’m on) to feed bread to the ducks.

I have done the whole bath routine with Aaron: Bath, teeth, story, prayers, and bed.

I have Lady in a Puppy Training Course at Pet Smart and we work HARD at it. I love that dog so much. I don’t know what I would do without her. She is the best little dog. If you are looking for a toy purebread dog I HIGHLY recommend the Maltese. Unless they will be alone a lot. They are FIERCELY loyal and in love with their owner and do not like being away from them a lot. And Maltese breeds rarely bark. She doesn’t unless someone approaches my room and she can’t see them. She could probably only rip of their ankles but that little blinking cotton ball would defend me to the death.

I’ve gone on two dates with my husband and have loved every minute of it. In anticipation of my return to church (This Sunday folks, fingers crossed) I have had to make HUGE changes to the dress section of my wardrobe. (That mainly means buy some.) AND MY HUSBAND NOT ONLY WENT WITH ME TO SHOP BUT HE ACTUALLY PICKED OUT THINGS WITH ME. (He bought some stunning enamel earrings that he said exactly match my eyes. I love that man.)

And lastly…I think that I have probably been watching “Real Housewives of New Jersey” too much because I made a totally blinged out and sparkly phone cover for my phone. (Problem? I LOST MY PHONE. Which is such a huge problem. Bloggers just can’t be without their phones for too long. I think that the implode or something.) (I also may or may have not blinged out our tortoise, Fluffy. I plead the fifth.) (It gets really boring in bed sometimes.)

I know this is the most random list ever, but it points to one thing-

I am starting to get better!

I am starting to get my life back!

There are still MANY days I spend in bed and I am often so tired that I honestly can’t write. Lame, I know. BUT I AM GETTING STRONGER EVERY DAY!

And besides having my children, getting my health back is by far the best thing that has EVER happened to me. And there are more good things are coming!