My site was hacked into and I haven’t been able to access my admin page for the last couple of days. I had this great, witty post written about my time in California, but when my site went down, the post went with it. Since I don’t have the ability to rewrite it and I am in a REALLY pissed off mood about a great many things, I’ll just do the best that I can and try to not let it rub off on my writing too much.
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I don’t really dig amusement parks anymore. I used to. In fact, every summer my parents bought me and my siblings a season pass to Lagoon, the local amusement park that was about 10 minutes from where I grew up. Multiple times a week my siblings and I would spend 12-hours straight running from barf-inducing roller coaster ride to roller coaster ride.

I went back to Lagoon 2 years ago with Christopher and felt grossed out, claustrophobic, and like I wanted to hose myself down with Lysol every 15 seconds. I’m not really sure when this happened, but since then, the thought of being in the vicinity of hundreds of snotty, germ-infested children crammed all around me just makes me nauseated.

Needless to say, I wasn’t exactly sure how I would like Disneyland. In fact, the only thing I was excited about for certain were the fireworks at the end of the night. I talked about them for weeks. I saw fireworks there once as a kid and they were awesome. I couldn’t wait to share it with my family. Other than that, though????? Not sure about how the day would fare.

I LOVED IT.

Yup. Despite it being a million degrees, horrifically expensive and crammed wall to wall with more people than I have ever seen in that park, I had a blast. It really took me by surprise how much I got into the spirit of Disney.I think it is because even in my darkest, most pessimistic, “LIFE SUCKS and has SCREWED ME OVER” moods, I have secretly always believed in the fairy tale. That sad little girls can turn into princesses, and that dreams can come true.

Disney does, too. (Yes, I know that they make millions of dollars hocking those sentiments. Sentiments that are unrealistic and that will probably crush the hearts and souls of millions of little girls around the world when the fairy tale DOESN’T HAPPEN, but I’m choosing to be stubbornly optimistic at the moment, ok?)

The day started off with a blast by the Disney Marching Band at the plaza on Main Street. I LOVE THEM. I am a total marching band geek. I was the only person cheering my head off. People thought I was a freak (Like that is new) but the band members loved it. They all tipped their instruments at me, which was a lovely “Thank You” for my public display of dorkish affection.

My mother didn’t bring a hat with her and she was freaking out that they were charging $25.00 for one. Solution? Jonathan told me to buy a hat. I picked out the cutest pink and white “Princess” hat. He bought it for me and I gave my other hat to my mother. Problem solved. I got to be a princess and I got to finally make a hat purchase at “The Mad Hatter”, which I’ve always wanted to do.

I heart it.

The teacups are my mother’s favorite ride and she got to share it with the boys which really made her happy. I got to ride with Jonathan, who made it his mission to make me completely nauseated by turning the teacup faster than anyone else. He succeeded.

Having my mom here was a big plus. She had a great time with us, and we did as well. The only downer is that I had to go on “It’s a Small World” because it is her favorite ride after the teacups. I freaking HATE THAT RIDE. It is so long and by the end I was having flashbacks of when I got stuck on it for two hours when I was on choir tour. I wanted to stick a fork through my eyeball.

Jon loved it because we were in the dark and sitting in the back which equated to “Now is a great time to feel up my wife”. Actually, he did that on Pirates of the Caribbean, too. And The Haunted Mansion. And Space Mountain. And all over Critterland. Ok, so he did it A LOT that day.

I love the props they have around Disneyland for photos. The teacup was my personal favorite. but the boys loved Mr. Toad’s car the best.

The lines were long, but not as bad as I have seen them. Christopher took this photo of Jon and I while we were standing in line for Thunder mountain. I didn’t even know he had the camera out of my bag. Pretty good shot, huh? I tried to get Jon to take a photo with me in front of the castle but he said, “NO”.My mom didn’t go on a lot of the rides, so I can’t believe we actually got her on Splash Mountain. I got completely, completely soaks. I will spare you the wet T-shirt photos. Ehem. It took forever to get dry. I loathe walking around in soaking wet jeans. It sucks.

For lunch, we each ordered the FREAKING HUGE turkey legs. I got so totally ill. The whole experience made me really consider being a vegetarian.

We ended the evening by watching the fireworks. Actually, I should say that MY MOTHER AND I ended the evening by watching the fireworks together. Jon was pouting that the fireworks wouldn’t start for a half-an-hour and then suggested that he take the boys to Indiana Jones. They thought that was a GREAT idea. I was really mad. It was the one thing I had been looking forward to a lot and I knew they wouldn’t get back in time. So, Jon said, “Sorry, boys. Your mom doesn’t want us to go.”

Nice. Ruin my plans and then make me the bad guy to our children. The boys (And Jon) whined and pouted so much I just told Jon to just take them and leave.

I took this while waiting in the thousands of people crowded onto main street, trying to get my mind off of how annoyed and upset I was.

The fireworks were magical. Nobody does pyrotechnics like Disney. I was so happy during the show. You just cannot stay in a bad mood with all that magic around you.

I can’t believe I managed to pull off this shot. I think I took about 50 trying to get fireworks and BAM! This was at the finale and it was timed perfectly! WOO HOO!

I wish that the happy mood I was in during the show extended to afterward, but I was still royally pissed off at my husband. He got the clue when we met up by the gate and I didn’t talk to him. I still didn’t talk to him on the way out of the park, on the way to the restaurant, inside the restaurant, or even when we ordered.

QUESTION: How do you know when Loralee is COMPLETELY CHEESED, PISSED, ANNOYED and/or MAD?!

ANSWER: LORALEE DOESN’T TALK.

“You’re still pissed off because I took the boys to Indiana Jones instead of watching the fireworks, huh? We tried to get back to you, but they closed off the street.”

“You know what? Yes, I’m pissed. Do you know WHY? Look around at our children. Do you notice anything? They are BOYS. All day long we have done BOY things. I have gone on Space Mountain, Buzz Lightyear, hung out at the Padowan Training Academy, shopped for boy toys, clothes, and watched you run around saying how cool and fun all the boy things are to do. Things that you think are so cool and fun because they remind you of when you were a boy and you have the excuse to relive that time because WE HAVE BOYS. I haven’t regretted it. I have had fun. I have LOVED IT.

BUT.

I have NO GIRL. I didn’t get to secretly relive my inner-girlyhood by going to the Princess Theater, I had to skip the “Once A Pona Time” Princess Store and you wouldn’t even take our photo at Sleeping Beauty’s castle because it was TOO GIRLY. I waited an hour to shoot down invaders to Buzz Lightyear’s exsistence and you pouted because you had to wait 30 minutes to watch fireworks with me. THEN you made ME THE BAD GUY to our children to the point that I couldn’t stand listening to you all complain and ruin it even more than it already was. So, yes. Yes, I am pissed because you couldn’t give me this one, tiny moment today. Something that I wanted to do. I WANTED TO BELIEVE IN THE FREAKING FAIRY TALE FOR FIFTEEN MINUTES. I wanted to experience it with my family, AND YOU RUINED IT FOR ME.”

I think that if the mother load of all rants hadn’t gotten his attention, the fact that I mutated into Madame Medusa from “The Rescuers” during said rant probably drove home the point.

He got it. He was actually really sorry. This is pretty rare. I usually do not get apologies in my marriage. It’s a sore issue with us. I actually got one that night, and it was a big deal because Jon had a pretty hefty penance to pay:

Yup. He wore it all through dinner and I am allowed to blog about it.

Even though I couldn’t get the moment back, Jonathan volunteering to be “My girl” for the rest of the meal made me feel a lot better. (I confess that the fact that he had to wear this in public helped a bit, too. Wink.)

He makes a really fugly girl, though.