I got pulled over last night.
It wasn’t too bad because I was coming back from an AWESOME concert. I went with my friend, Mary Ellen, to see Air Supply in concert.
I drove a total of 6 hours to Nevada and sat next to a guy that reeked of Marlboro Reds and Jack Daniels to do so.
Hey, we have already CLEARLY established my Dork Status in the “About Me”segment of this blog AND and it is also CLEARLY stated in“The Rules” section that I heart Air Supply, so any of you who are feeling betrayed or are in a state of nauseating horror can just bite me.
Well…OK…given the circumstances and the fact that I am well aware that this is a band made entirely out of Velveeta, you can probably still feel nauseating horror. You have that right. However, I see no reason for feelings of betrayal. You were warned.
It pretty much rocked the house. The venue was small, these guys still sound amazing and I had the.best.time.ever.
AND!!!
I TOUCHED AIR SUPPLY!!!!!!!
Although, we figure that the one I touched is really the “Supply” segment because he is the lyricist and the only one of the two that plays an instrument. The other guy that resembles Bilbo Baggins is probably the “Air” part, since he has a higher voice than Mickey Mouse. So…I guess this means that I actually touched “Supply”.
I won’t drone on and on about the concert, but I will say that the cover of Celine Dion’s “You’re my lady” was pretty sweet.
Hee.
The drive back was a bitch because I was tired. The concert got over at 10:30 and we had 3.5 hours of driving on some of the flattest, most boring stretch of highway ahead of us. (Ever heard of The Bonneville Salt Flats? Yah. We were there.)
UG.
Other than being tired and driving too fast through lots of flat, foggy surface, not much happened on the trip aside from wondering if the very creepy guy in line at the truck stop soda fountain we refuled at was really a serial killer. He whistled incessantly and loitered around me a really long time. It was not too difficult to imagine him calmly whistling as he strangled and dismembered someone, but I’ve probably just been watching too much TV lately. (You think?)
Things did pick up in the suburbs of Salt Lake.
I got pulled over by one of Utah’s finest.
Crap.
A speeding ticket was sooooooooo not on my agenda for the evening.
The cop came to the passenger side window. I could tell right away that he was a good humored fellow with twinkly eyes. Even though he was lovely and nice, I still get terribly nervous around cops and pressure of speech and Nervous Donkey Laughter* kicks in.
You know what Nervous Donkey Laughter is. It’s, well…nervous and donkey-like.
In other words, it’s annoying as hell.
“Hello, officer! You’re on the wrong side of the car!”
(Nervous Donkey Laughter)
“I’m on the safe side of the car, Ma’am”
“OH! OF COURSE, Officer”
(Nervous Donkey Laughter)
“You’re going 83 in a 65, are you in a hurry for something?”
“I TOUCHED AIR SUPPLY!”
(Nervous Donkey Laughter)
“What?”
“We just came back from seeing Air Supply in Wendover and it was the best concert, well, it WAS kind of annoying that they wouldn’t let us inside the doors until 8:00 and it was freezing and we were all just standing around waiting and waiting, although, I suppose it was fine because we did have heaters to stand around and the concert was great, but Wendover is really far out in the middle of NOWHERE and it was really easy to drive too fast probably because, you know, the salt flats are there and they have speed racing out there for Pete’s Sake, and we’ve been driving FOREVER except for that little stop off we had to get gas in Tooele, and by the way, you may want to investigate a creepily incessant whistler that is hanging around the Flying J because while I don’t think that there have been any reported murders in that area of The Great Salt Lake, you can never be too careful in such a desolate area, which is also why I was probably speeding just now, you know, because the area WAS so desolate, I am just a little checked out on my speed and then my friend was telling me this story about how a friend of hers just moved from her hometown to live with her kids and decided that they were not very nice to her and so she ended up moving across the country with her other three girls and got remarried a former classmate of hers from high school a month after his wife died and it turns out that he’s a Baptist Preacher and apparently they have horses and she’s found Jesus and..and…and…I TOUCHED AIR SUPPLY. ”
(Nervous Donkey Laughter!)
(Nervous Donkey Laughter!!)
(Nervous Donkey Laugher!!! )
“Sounds like you really like Air Supply”
“I TOUCHED AIR SUPPLY!!!”
(Nervous Donkey Laughter )
“How far do you have left to go?
“Logan!”
(Nervous Donkey Laughter)
“That is pretty far. It seems like you had a good time tonight, it would be a shame to ruin it with a ticket. Make sure you slow down.”
“I TOUCHED AIR SUPPLY!!!!!”
(Yup. You guessed it. More Nervous Donkey Laughter.)
I am totally shocked that he didn’t make me do a field sobriety test. My friend, Mary Ellen was shocked that I didn’t get ticketed.
“I can’t believe you got out of a ticket talking about Air Supply”
“Never underestimate the power of Air Supply and Nervous Donkey Laughter, my friend.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
It was one of the best concerts, ever.
Now, I just have to find tickets to see Neil Diamond…
*Thanks to Jessica for the completely accurate description.
As part of my participation in Neil’s Great Interview Experiment, I’m not only honor-bound to be an interviewEE, but also an interviewER. I was lucky enough to be able to interview the lovely, bright, and interesting Loralee, and at long last am able to post my (fantastic, imaginative, intelligent) questions and her (hilarious, sweet, revealing) answers.
Stumble it!
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