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SuckasuckaSUCK

November 25, 2007 By 13 Comments

I am spectacularly sick. 

I missed NaBloPoMo yesterday.

I guess this means that I have to tell myself “Aufedersein” for making a crappy dress that looks like it’s “Pooing Fabric” and not “Making it work”. I guess there is nothing left to do but hug Tim Gunn and pack up my work station.

Oh, wait…That’s Project Runway. Never mind.

Sigh.

I am glad that the pressure is off.  I had to throw up some pretty lame posts to meet the requirement and I HATE doing that. 

Still, I feel bad that I was so close to finishing and that I failed.  I really should have planned this whole thing better. I have no one to blame but myself.  It’s like I voted myself off the runway.

Suck a duck.

I’ll do better next year.

Filed Under: NaBloPoMo, Stupidity, Suck 13 Comments

I’m going through cell phone withdrawl

October 15, 2007 By 13 Comments

If you have been trying to get a hold of me this weekend, you have probably been met with my voice mail.  You may have left multiple messages that have gone unacknowledged and you may or may not be cursing my name at this point.  I may have stood you up this weekend because I didn’t have access to your phone number.  Why didn’t I have access to you number? Well, it was stored in my cell phone. Why is that a problem, you ask?

Because I killed my phone.

It’s too humiliating to write about right now, so let’s just say that I now have no cellphone. It was inadvertent, of course.  My phone is like an appendage of my body, so even Jon knows that it was an accident and not a ploy to get a new phone.

Researching it has been a bitch.  I have to try and figure out how to buy a fairly inexpensive phone that miraculously doesn’t suck.  So…If anyone out there uses the Great and Abominable Cell Phone Company (Sprint.  My whole family has it or I SO WOULDN’T) and you have a phone that I don’t have to sign a second mortgage to obtain…Please let me know.

:)

Filed Under: Bitching, Stupidity, Suck 13 Comments

I am Britany Spears at the VMA. (Minus the bikini. I do have the same cellulite, though…)

September 27, 2007 By 19 Comments

I am suffering from the greatest humiliation I have had in a very, very long time. With about 3 hours notice and really swollen vocal folds, I decided to audition for a musical. To make matters worse, I selected a song I didn’t know well because my other audition pieces were un-singable due to aforementioned vocal folds.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. Did I mention that was STUPID?

To clarify, while I have a dramatic, exaggerating nature, it.really.was.THAT.bad. I am not exaggerating. I also don’t want to hear argument about this in the comments, ok? It would insult my experience and intelligence.

I sucked six ways from Sunday.

By the time I got to the theater, I was raspy and squeaky. I should have turned around and gone home, but NO. I didn’t. There aren’t many musical theater opportunities in the valley and since seeing “Wicked” in London, I have been selfishly craving the theater. At the audition, I got up to sing and the alien-sounding, hideous CRUD that came out of my mouth threw me so much that I forgot the words. I stopped, realized that recovery was impossible, said “Sorry…” and WALKED OFF THE STAGE.

For the first time since I was 17 I didn’t even get a call back, and I shouldn’t have.

The worst part? This was in front of people that I have worked with. People I respect. People who used to know me when I was awesome and envy my ability. There were a couple who hadn’t heard me sing, but had heard of me from all these people and were excited to “Finally” hear me.

The pity on their faces was something I don’t think I’ll be forgetting anytime soon.

I don’t care that I’m not in the show, not really. I care greatly that I would throw such shit at people I respect and humiliate myself like this. I haven’t auditioned for musical theater in 5 years. How arrogant to think that I could pull it off with 3 hours prep. I emailed the director an apology. I don’t expect a reply.

I have had great opportunities and experiences in the theater and I should have left well enough alone.

Lesson learned.

Filed Under: Stupidity, Suck 19 Comments