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The things my mother says…

There is something you should know about Utah Mormons. They are fond of wearing brightly colored matching t-shirts at family reunions,when they travel en mass to amusement parks, or take the whole clan on vacation. Usually there is some “Catchy” little saying on it like “The Furgeson Clan! Doing GREAT In 2008!!!!”

It makes me shudder.

My mother is coming on our trip to California with our family and she came over today to help me prepare.

“Do they still have that custom made T-Shirt shop on main street?”

“No. It closed down…..WHY DO YOU ASK??”

“Oh, I thought it would be fun to get matching bright pink shirts that say, “I Love Wheat Storage” to wear to Disneyland and embarrass you to death.”

Who knew my mother could be so diabolical? So sinister?? So witty???

She totally just went up in my estimation.

Cool.

My name is Loralee and I’m an Everything Addict

It is no secret that I have an addictive personality. I even made two (Yes, TWO) freakishly long lists about all the subjects that I have obsessed about over the years. If you are done doing all the pivotal things in life and don’t have any lint to pick out of your navel, I suppose you may find them interesting. Here you Go.

My obsessions can be pretty bad. I don’t just like something, I LOVE IT!!!!!! I don’t buy one package of Reeces peanut butter cups, I buy a freaking case of them.

Right now, I am having a problem with frosting. It all started innocently enough. I was sad. I needed to pig out on something disgustingly sweet (As I am wont to do in times of woe.), but I had no car at the time and there was a container of vanilla frosting in my pantry.

It’s totally logical:

Sad Loralee -Vehical-Normal “Sad Munchies” in pantry+ Vanilla Frosting + Teaspoon= Improvised Comfort

Works for me.

However, I found this little “Treat” making its way into my shopping cart more and more often. I have tried to say, “I need it on hand to make Nooncy cupcakes” or this last purchase was, “I want to make my kids grahm cracker and frosting sandwiches as a treat”. I did use SOME of the frosting for those things, but, er, um, usually over half of the tub ends up in my tummy.

My love affair with Vanilla Frosting is getting dangerously close to being a “Problem”. Maybe it is because I have nearly stooped to the point of blaming consumption on my children, or maybe it is because I have put on 5 lbs in the last 6 weeks, but it is a habit that is getting out of control.

When I opened the fridge to find a tub of frosting with a long spoon cavalierly left in the tub I realized that it may be time for an intervention.

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I wish I had a better explanation for WHY the hair elastic that I usually wear on my wrist is wrapped around the container, but, um…I don’t.

I have a weird life.

That’s pretty much my only defense.

Sigh.

A math witticism fitting me perfectly? Who’d of thunk?

A snippet of a conversation between Jonathan and I about how our lives never seem to go “As anticipated”:

“I think a lot more of our life would go according to plan, but you have chaos-tornado me added to the mix and that usually doesn’t bode well for a clean and simple equation, now does it, Jonathan?”

“It’s hard to calculate with a variable, baby.”

“True.”