At least they all look good in the photo and Michelle is wearing jeans that make her butt look awesome. Not that she has pants that make her butt look BAD, mind you! (Erp. I need to shut up now. Suddenly I am having huge sympathy with men who have their wives ask if their pants make them look fat).
It’s ok, Michelle- I have no butt, I just have to envy yours. Seriously, I hate my heiny. It is much too flat and saggy. I have to wear belts to keep from mooning everyone because I don’t have enough junk in the trunk to keep my jeans up. This one time I was trying to bend over and get a toilet paper dispenser off the bottom shelf at WalMart and…
What? What’s that you say? Shut the hell up about your butt, your friends butt and butts in general and get ON with it already???
FINE, THEN! You are obviously a person that HAS appropriate mass in their back loading dock and are just an impatient hater of those of us who do NOT! Just be warned, you…you…Hater, you! THE BUTTLESS SHALL INHERIT THE EARTH, SO NEENER, NEENER!!!!!
That will show you. HMPH! At this point I shall reign it in as this now getting weird even for me (And as I am already probably burning for selling photos of a homeless person to a tabloid anyway without misquoting a Very.Important.Person.)
Where was I?
Oh. The National Enquirer. Yah. It will be out on March 26th provided that Anna Nicole Smith doesn’t dig herself up and go for a final performance at Hooters with Elvis n’ stuff…