August 22, 2007 by 17 Comments
(I sent my kids off to school a bit early today and started cleaning my bathroom. The window was open and I overheard the following conversation)
“I just hate Tyler.”
“He’s so mean! He called me a “Stupid head” just because I said he couldn’t ride my bike over to the school. He said he’d ride it anyway! Should I go after him or should I get mom?”
“No. Mom is cleaning the bathroom and we don’t want to be late. Let me handle it. TYLER!!! Come here! Get off my brother’s bike! Did you call Christopher a stupid head?”
(Tyler mumbles incoherently in the affirmative)
“I take umbrage with that! **Just because you’re a kid doesn’t mean that you can take other peoples things and call people names! Especially not my brother. You can walk to school with us, but I don’t think you should play over here the rest of the day as a consequence. You’re just a kid, so you can come back tomorrow if your behavior improves. Ok?”
**Could you die? Umbrage?! At 11-years-old?!!!
August 8, 2007 by 22 Comments
I usually never, ever talk about my first husband on this blog. I don’t because he isn’t really “In” my life anymore and I also refrain out of respect for him. We had an amicable divorce and he is a great father to our son, James. When Jonathan and I separated two years ago, he stepped up and helped and did a fabulous job. He is a good guy.
However, today is not good. Not good at all and I need to talk about it. Just when I think I have one fire under control, BAM! I need this to stop. I need a break. Big things need.to.stop.happening.
My ex-husband called me on the phone to ask if he could come and talk to me about James. “Uh, oh. That sounds bad.” He assured me it wasn’t, it just wasn’t something that he wanted to talk about over the phone.
What he wanted was for James to primarily live with him with me having visitation.
I call that bad.
He doesn’t really see this as “Bad” or a “Big deal” because James would still be going to school at the same place and that they would have Christopher over “A lot”.Â He told me over and over that he doesn’t want to change custody formally, that he wasn’t trying to “Take James Away” and I know that he isn’t trying to hurt me. He just wants more time with his son (Which I have ALWAYS been willing to give. He can have James whenever he wants.). He also said that having control over James’s schedule was a huge factor. James is his only child and he and his wife want to raise him. James also wants more time with his dad. I offered to extend and rearrange or let him have every weekend or do reverse custody in the summer, but that didn’t seem to sit very well.
I’m trying to stay calm, not freak out, and see this for what it is. He isn’t doing this to deprive me of anything, he just wants more. I get it. Secretly, I think that they have a bit of an issue about my parenting. His wife is much more “Together” than I am and I can’t help but feel a bit of a sting with this issue. My ex says that this isn’t the case, but still…
He said that James requested all of this, not him.
I don’t even want to get into how that makes me feel.
And what about Christopher? The little kid who gets so attached to things and people that I had to have a freaking funeral for a BALLOON?
I just don’t know. I don’t know what to do. We left it at, “We have to talk about this a lot more”. My head is spinning and I feel like I want to vomit. I want to do what is best for my sons, I just don’t know what that is. I feel like the worst mother on the planet.