As a former Utahn transplanted to the Midwest, I’d like to take a moment to warn you non-Utahns about this pretty little state I used to call home and the one Loralee currently resides in.
(By the way, my name is Casey, I call a little blog moosh in indy. my home, hi, how are you?)
First of all, don’t let all the snow fool you. Utah is a desert. Utah is a desert that will suck your skin of any and all moisture it possesses within moments of your arrival. Bring lotion and slather liberally.
Second. Salt Lake is very high in altitude. This means two things. Less oxygen and you’re closer to the sun. Which means you will huff and puff up every flight of stairs no matter how fast you can run a mile at sea level and you will burn to a crisp much quicker. Bring a bottle of water and sunscreen, drink and slather liberally.
Third. There is an enormous lake thataway. It’s called the Great Salt Lake. It’s really salty. Don’t go in it after you have shaved and be aware that when conditions are just right there is something called “Lake Stink.” And trust me, it’s a whole new kind of stink.
Fourth. Want to move here? Just know it’s really bloody expensive. The house I grew up in was bought in 1981 for $40K. It sold in 1998 for $189K. Today? $500K. Ridiculous.
Fifth. Drivers. Utah drivers are stupid, idiotic, psychotic, insane, aggressive, rude, impolite and most of them drive large overpriced SUV’s. Driving in Utah is not for the faint of heart. Be prepared to honk and flip off liberally. Seriously, before I come I have to spend an entire day readying myself for the death derby on Utah’s roads.
Sixth. If you eat outside in Utah, especially a sandwich, it will be turned to toast in a matter of moments. Dry air + soft bread = See dry skin reference in numero uno.
Lastly. Utah is pretty. Both in people and surroundings.
Forbes names Salt Lake City the vainest city in the nation. No doubt. Plastic surgery billboards are everywhere. Everywhere. And it’s just not fair to the rest of the country how pretty Utah is. (Well, the top and bottom of Utah at least, I’ve still never learned to embrace that whole sagebrush thing going on in the middle.) So be prepared for pretty, but don’t look too long or that soccer mom in the Escalade with run. you. over.
Thank you for taking time to learn about this state from someone who knows best. A native. And if you could let me know about any other states crazy drivers I should watch out for I’d appreciate it. But I doubt anyone has worse drivers than Utah. Seriously.
Good news though? Lots of pretty things to look at in your sideview mirrors while the PTA president on her cell phone in the Lexus SUV is chewing you out.