You know? I should really keep in mind that when I have left over ‘Photo shoot hair’ that involves using hair implements from 1986, I might want to ignore my burning craving for sweet pulled pork salad at Costa Vida because I tend to run into people I know.
If I am still determined to exit the house looking like a reject from a casting call of “Punky Brewster” I might want to not wear sweats that shrank three inches in the dryer with bright pink shoes and a floppy, gray hoodie.
I think I actually burned the corneas of a few innocent bystanders and I really think that the ensamble will cause a table of fragile middle school girls to be forced into serious therapy. I don’t think my excuse of trying to blend in with the homeless was very convincing.At least Michelle was with me. She swears that “Her hair sucked, too!” We will never know as she had a hat to cover the damning evidence. When we were standing in line for our food we also saw one of Chelle’s neighbors.
“If he looks at you funny, I’ll just tell him you’re my “Special friend” I take to lunch every Thursday”.
Two can play that little game.
When we got to the cash register she asked if we wanted the check together or separate and if we wanted to use cash or charge. Instead of answering I looked right at her and said,
“Guess what?!!!! After we’re done eating here, we get to go to KMART!!!!”
It was grand.
Chelle was a good sport about it all and even contributed by taking extra care to point me in the right direction to the soda machines.
“I can’t BELIEVE you did that!”
Really? Because I kinda have a history for having fun like that in public. A really quick list of some past escapades include/but are not limited to:
*In college I was busily making out with my boyfriend in my car. A cop came over because I guess he had an issue with a steamed up car being parked in a car wash stall at 1 AM. I told him that my husband and I were run ragged by triplets and a newborn and we managed to get a sitter for the night and it was where we met. He had five kids. He let us off the hook.
*I asked a waiter at Olive Garden to take this photo of me and Karen because it was a “Special Anniversary”.*I had one guy at a food court on Hill AFB convinced that one of my friends was my husband and he was a cheap bastard taking me there for our 7-year anniversary. His kids were with us so it added an extra air of authenticity.
*When I was preparing for a role, I had to use an English accent. So, I went to Salt Lake and was a British tourist that spent the day asking everyone for directions.
*My current favorite is taking Karen to dinner along with Jon and calling her “Wife number two”. I don’t think she’s as fond of my game as I am.
Terrible? Yes, yes it is.