Why do I have to find out that my child is being bullied the day before I start my period? Because let me tell you, that is THE worst time of the month for me emotionally. The worst. In fact, I have been such a Debbie Downer all week. I chalked it all up to blues from the trip and Matthew’s anniversary, but I forgot all about my period (Again).
The day before my period is usually filled with an inexplicable feeling of sadness, worry, confusion. I often have emotionally wrenching conversations and there is ALWAYS sobbing at some point in the day. Basically, I am a live illustration of weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth.
I suppose it is a good thing that I have been a virtual recluse/hermit/shut in since I’ve gotten back. I have only seen my family and one friend who stopped by to drop something off and show me her new car.Hell, I haven’t even seen Karen face-to-face yet and SHE LIVES IN MY BASEMENT.
I’m a winner.
Yesterday, my son and my nephew had the biggest fight. I will skip the details because it just isn’t for the internet, but those two have such a volatile relationship. They push each other’s buttons like you wouldn’t believe. My husband was home and had to break it up. I’ve never seen him so mad. He has had it. They are going to have to spend a lot of time apart. I don’t know if they’ll ever really be able to have a relationship if they can’t manage it better than this. For the good of both of them, because it just is bad right now.
That was stressful in and of itself, but it brought out another situation that sucks.
I know that kids pick on other kids. It is a sad, horrible part of life. I was very picked on in school. Very. I carry the effects of it around with me to this day. I don’t think I really felt good about my social situation until college. One day I was sitting in the hall with a large group of friends from the music department between classes and I was struck by the thought that every person sitting there liked me. No one wished me ill, mocked me, taunted me or thought me less of a person than they were. It was one of the happiest moments of my life. Actually, scratch that. I was happy, sure, but this was different than happiness…It was one of the most PEACEFUL moments of my life.
We go to a school that has kids in it from all over the valley. We also live in a neighborhood with very few kids (Except for the neighbor kids that do things like write on my car with a Sharpie.). So, I always knew that my son didn’t have a lot of playtime options. But, he always managed to have at least one friend in class. They usually end up moving away, which is always hard on him.
This year, he doesn’t have anyone. His best friend moved away in the summer and now there are two boys that are picking on him to the point (They are now tripping and pushing him in gym class) that I am going to start “The chain of command”. Meaning, I’m going to talk to all of his teachers and ask them to keep an eye out for these two boys and my son. You know the drill. If it escalates and doesn’t work you move involvement up a notch at a time, etc. I am hopeful that this will work, but I know how busy teachers are. I know that they will try their best, but I also know how good kids are at doing these things out of view of adults.
They are making him feel sad, terrible and very lonely. This sucks. It hurt to hear him say that he didn’t have any friends. I tried to tell him that he is the BEST little kid. More than anything I want him to be able to see and believe me that these insignificant, moronic, brats DO NOT MATTER. That they are INSIGNIFICANT in his life. That if he can just get past the bullshit of middle school and high school he will be OK. Sure, people still have drama, cliques and turf wars even as adults but it so different. You aren’t being caged up with 300 immature potential enemies that are half-crazed with hormones every day, all day.
It matters to him. It is significant to him. He sees them and what they say as valid, important and the truth. WHICH SUCKS. I told him how special he his. How fun, witty, smart and sweet he is. He gave me “The look” and said, “Yeah, but you’re my MOM.” Once again, I am amazed at the repeating cycles of child/parent relationships. I STILL give my mother that look when she says she would have wanted to be my best friend if she was my age.
It’s hard to know what to do as a parent in a situation where kids are picking on your kids. He’s tried ignoring him, defending himself the best that he can, and I know boys have to work things out by themselves most of the time. I am a little upset that he confided in his gym teacher and the gym teacher did not call me, but I’ll bring that up with him when I go over this afternoon.
I hope that this can be resolved soon. I hope I deal with it right because sometimes parental involvement can make it SOOOO much worse. So, for now, I am just going to hope that calling the teacher’s attention to it will help diffuse any situations.
How about you, Internet? Have you had to deal with this? What did you do? What worked? I would love the plethora of teachers that read me to chime in if you could. I would like some advice on what do say.