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There are certain moments when you are sharply reminded of your increasing age…

October 14, 2007 By loralee 24 Comments

Like the billions and billions of humans that have lived before me, I am becoming increasingly aware of my age. I am not saying that I am “Old”, I’m only 32. Well…I’ll be 32 for 24 more days. Then I turn 33. I am fairly sure that I lose a startling amount of collagen when the clock strikes midnight on my birthday. I’m also fairly sure my ass sags a little further towards the center of gravity on this day as well.

Anyway. Let’s just say that I am aware that I could now co-star in the 80′s dramady “Thirtysomething”.

I have changed quite a bit between my early twenties and my early thirties. I know that this is normal. It would be much more abnormal if I had stayed the same, I think. One thing I have noticed? How young people start looking, well….YOUNG. Baby-faced. Almost too young to be in college, getting married having kids. Did I ever look that young??

My attitude and tastes have changed a lot as well. I can’t pull all-nighters and rebound the same way that I did in high school and college. I don’t eat ice cream anymore. And…I used to love all things wedding. Yup. I was one of “Those” girls. I used to go try on wedding dresses for fun with my friends in high school and flip through Bride Magazine while standing in line at the supermarket. I never got sick of planning my own wedding in my head. I just dug them.

I think having two weddings cured me for life. Actually, one wedding was probably adequate to do that. I offered to elope with Jonathan, but it was his first marriage and he wanted it. While it was all groovy and grand, I really wonder if I will be able to rebound by the time my own children get married. I’m still girlie and like girlie things, but time has dialed my level of “Precious” way the hell back.

A few nights ago, Jonathan and I ate out at one of his favorite restaurants. It’s a yummy Mexican eatery that is cafeteria style. I know, it sounds lame but the pulled pork salad is yummy. It was packed. I was tired and didn’t really want to stand in a huge ass line that could rival Splash Mountain at Disneyland. This place is also hugely popular with high school and college kids for date nights because it’s good, cheap food. Do you know how much perfume and cologne gets worn by young daters wanting to enhance their hormone-induced pheromones to be alluring? Line waiting only seems longer when you engulfed in the scent equation of “Shock and Awe”.

But that is what my husband wanted and I like making him happy, so there it is.

We approached the end of the line to move through the “Corral” and the tiny, petite, perfectly coiffed and manicured blond girl in front of us started jumping up and down and shrieking with glee as she threw her arms around the blushing redheaded boy she was with.

Apparently, for some reason that can only be known to them, he chose a hot, stuffy, crowded and perfume-clad cafeteria line to give his fiancee her diamond ring. Her rapturous shrieks lasted for quite awhile. So did his blushing, but at some point they calmed down and just kept beaming at one another and people around them offered their congratulations.

All I could think is “My FREAK they look so young.”

Then it happened.

The “Engagement Phenomenon”. I realize that this is not something that happens in ALL engaged women. Just SOME engaged women. For example? I read blogs of two perfectly rational engaged women that would rather stick a fork in both their eyes than engage in the following behavior.

Some newly engaged women seem to be able to seek each other out. It’s like a shark smelling chum in the water from miles and miles away or a bloodhound catching the faintest whiff of something.

It drives them and bonds them together: Must.see.and.comment.on.new.engagement.ring. Tonight was no exception. Pretty soon, the PPB (Petite, Perky Blond) was totally enraptured in conversation with two other newly-ringed girls and one “Just Married” girl in line. It was ok, really. It’s an exciting time of life and a big moment for anyone.

Then someone came up behind us in line and brushed up against me.

As fate would have it, yet another perky, petite blond (We’ll call her PPB#2) came in and stood in line directly in back of us and started straining to hear the engagement conversation occurring directly in front of us. She, along with the giggling gaggle of girls with her all had elaborate updo’s worn with snugly fit terrycloth track suits in varying arrays of pastels. I saw the eye of PPB#1 and her chatty co-horts catch the arrival of PPB#2 and her giggling gaggle.

All I could think is: UH-OH.

Once the two gangs of girls smelled “Engagement” on the other, there was no hope. Jonathan and I were trapped. Right in the middle of a perfect storm of “WEDDING!!!!!!! SQUEEEE!!!!!!!!”

PPB#1: Your ring is so PRETTY!

PPB#2: Thanks! Isn’t it? I just got my bridals done tonight with my brides maids!”

PPB#1: No WAY! I just got my ring tonight! Who is your photographer? When are you getting married? Who’s your florist? Cake decorator? Where did you get your veil? Your shoes? Your whosit’s and whatsit’s galore??? Blah, blah! Blabbibity, blah, blah, blah!!!!

As you can tell, at that point my brain began to melt and ooze out of my nostril cavities.

It went on, and on, and ON. It was a stuffy, claustrophobic, headache-inducing situation that seemed to never end. It felt like Jonathan and I were squished right in the middle of a frilly wedding-fest that we really didn’t want to be invited to. All I could think of (Besides “Get me the hell out of here”) was to wonder if I had ever done this to people before and to apologize to the universe with my mind for any zealously fru-fru inconvenience I had ever caused to anyone.

I also felt very grateful to be past this stage of life and appreciated my saggy ass and 32.8 years.Â I would not go back, no siree.

By the time we FINALLY got to the counter, paid for our take out and were able to leave I literally ran and bolted out of the building and sat there sucking in the fresh, cold night air that was sweetly tinged with freedom.

Jonathan chucked at my relief.

“See? You made it, honey. Besides, it wasn’t THAT long. Just over 15 minutes or so.”

“True, but it was seemed longer. I think those 15 minutes should be counted like dog-years and we should times it by 7.”

“So…This means you’re a dog? You’re calling yourself a bitch?”

“You realize that comment will require the purchase of Diet Coke AND chocolate on the way home, right?”

Filed Under: Every Day, Food, Funny, Jonathan 24 Comments

School Lunch

August 27, 2007 By loralee 23 Comments

School lunch and I have a somewhat unpleasant history. Growing up it was awesome. I always ate hot lunch at school and was fine with this. I liked most of the food. Especially Navajo Taco Day. I mean, who didn’t like Navajo Taco Day??? I liked how there seemed to be a permeating aroma of hamburger and corn every day starting around 10:30, and HELLO?! THE PEANUT BUTTER CHOCOLATE BARS???

I still weep with missing them.

On the few times I had to bring a lunch from home I was totally disappointed and often just went hungry instead of eating. Mainly because my father usually made them and lunch consisted of sandwiches slathered with so much mayonnaise that it would soak through the bread, milk in a jelly mason jar and everything would be wrapped in layers and layers of aluminum foil. Even my oranges.

So, school lunch was a much better option for me.

Dealing with the ins and outs of school lunch has been trickier with my kids. My children have been attending a charter school since the first year it opened. Basically, this means that while it is still a public school (Many people think we charge tuition. We don’t.), we are not under any school district. We are basically our own district and have much more flexibility in control over schedules, curriculum, dress codes,etc. The flip side of having this control is that we take less federal funding, so our school does not have a bus program, nor do we have a true “Cafeteria”. We never will, either. School lunch programs are too expensive to be self-sufficient and the budget absorbs a lot of the cost and subsidizes what the students pay to eat daily.

For the first year of school we had to make lunches every day. When I took over as Parent Organization President, we implemented “Pizza Day”. We brought in pizza so that the kids would have something hot and that once a week, parents would get a break from packing lunches. It was such a success that my board and I rolled our sleeves up and tackled getting a more consistent hot lunch program in place. We hired a caterer to bring lunch into the school and serve it out of the warming kitchen.

It was a DISASTER.

His food was often poorly made, he was inconsistent in everything he did, he often ran out of food, and his professionalism just SUCKED. He was warned and talked to repeatedly. Instead of improvement, there was bickering and disagreements about money he claimed we owed him (We didn’t. I had the receipts to prove it). One evening I got a voice mail at 11 pm that if he wasn’t paid the amount he said we owed by 10 am he would not be serving the kids lunch the next day.

You do not threaten to let kids go hungry as a power play. Not on my watch.

I called up several friends on my PO board (Go, Chelle!) and we arranged for pizza, bread sticks and milk to be delivered to the school and I told the caterer to meet with us the next day with me, the Principal, my Vice President, treasurer and members of the school board.

At the meeting, we went over his issues, my issues, my accounting of finance, his accounting of finances (He didn’t have any paperwork “With him”. Meaning, he didn’t have any PERIOD).Â When he saw the path it was going down he tried to apologize and said he came all ready to feed the children chili for lunch. I told him weren’t about to chance our kids going hungry so we had pizza being delivered and that we were done working with him. My first experience “Firing” someone.

It sucked.

What about the rest of the year, though? We had to scramble to find an alternative and fast. It was difficult. We came up with “Meals on Wheels” and had them bring in lunch for the rest of the year. At the time, they were the only facility that didn’t serve all fried foods that could deliver, serve, meet our price, provide the serving dishes and handle the volume. The problem was that the kids didn’t really love the food. I don’t blame them. Still, it was hot, and not totally sucky. It was hugely popular w/the parents so we kept it the next year.

When I left as PO President the program changed. There was a new restaurant in town that met all the criteria AND the kids LOVE the food. While I am slightly envious that the new PO President found the perfect option when I wasn’t able to, I am thrilled as a parent to not have to make lunches every day and that my kids are happy.

There are a few downsides to it, though. They only cater three days a week, so I still have to make lunches Mondays and Fridays. That’s not too bad, but the orders are only taken once a month. See this sheet of paper? If it is not turned in by the deadline specified, you are SCREWED!

You have to wait until the next month and are stuck doing lunches until then. Not missing the deadline is important and it is doubly challenging with my sucky memory. There has been more than one month were I don’t remember to get the checks in, even with reminders put on my mirror and hanging the lunch menu on my fridge.

So, how can a girl like me MAKE SURE to remember to fill out a VIP (Very Important Paper) and turn it in?

THE PERFECT SOLUTION:

It totally worked. We’re good to go until October.

Filed Under: Bits of Information, Every Day, Food, School 23 Comments

Footloose Food Day

August 12, 2007 By loralee 20 Comments

I ventured 2 hours away from Cache Valley yesterday down to Utah County to visit a town called, Lehi (Lee-hi). Lehi is best known as the film location for the 1984 Kevin Bacon movie “Footloose“. Remember this mill? It’s become rather well-visited over the years.

Why Lehi, you ask? I went to see my friend, Rachel, in a production of “The Sound of Music” playing at the local high school (Yup. Also in the film.)

Since I had to be in the area anyway, I thought I would kill two birds with one stone and extend my visit. For while Utah County is the home of Brigham Young University, Novell, Stephan Covey, The Osmond Family and the arrest site of Gary Coleman, it is more importantly the home of my brother, Rhett. My brother is awesome. Y’all might know him from my comments forum as “The Brother”. Cause he is. Well, mine at least.

The reason for the visit to his house in particular? To cook.

My brother and I love to cook. All of the children in my family do, which is is surprising considering that my culinary-adept siblings and I were genetically spawned from the loins of parents responsible for bringing the world such recipes as “Tuna okra salmon casserole”, “Peanut butter and Miracle Whip sandwiches, and “Potato ball Seville” (Mounds of leftovers doused in Worcestershire sauce and covered in paprika-sprinkled mashed potatoes). Yet were were. It continues to mystify me.

My brother and I love to have “Food Day”. This is a time where we get together and cook things that we’ve always wanted to try and make up a themed menu. We have had “Thai Day”, “Moroccan Day”, “Indian Day”, “Italian Day”, which was one of my favorites. We made our own pasta and our butternut squash ravioli with sage butter sauce was DIVINE.

For “Spanish Day”, my gorgeous BFF, Michelle got into the spirit by buying a paella pan and the paella we made was awesome. Yesterday we had “Japanese Day”. My friend, Rachel, shopped and cooked with us. Jonathan and the kiddies came too, but they usually just participate in the eating segment of the festivities.

On the menu was Tempura fried veggies, Yoki soba noodles, teriyaki beef, and for the first time, I finally got to try making sushi rolls! I contributed by introducing my bro to one of my favorite things ever-sweet inari pockets stuffed with rice and carrots. I could eat a whole plate of them by myself.

I’m saving the best for last, though. I have been wanting to try a recipe for the last 6 years or so and last night I finally got to!. Tempura coated and fried SNICKERS BARS!!! I know, I recently mocked “Deep fried Oreo’s” but these are the yummiest, most decedent dessert EVER!

Mix tempura batter (Flour, corn starch, baking soda and ice water) Skewer the Snickers (I used the bite sized kind and it was a perfect mouthful) Thickly cover with tempura batter Fry in 340-degree oil until golden brown.Eat, eat, EAT!

SO delicious. Yum. I am trying not to think about how many calories I consumed yesterday because honestly? Totally worth it. Besides, I am still without glasses, so I can remain in denial about the copious amounts of dimpling on my gluteous maximus until the end of the week!

P.S.

I decided on which glasses to get. I’ll tell you which pair won when they arrive!!!!

Filed Under: Adventures, Family, Food, Friends, YAY 20 Comments