I am really tired.
The past 3-days have been a tornado of pressure, worry, stress and concern.
While there is much still up in the air about how things will solidify and a billion different details and mountains to climb and problems to wade through, for the forseeable and long future, both of my parents are coming to live with me as of this evening.
They can no longer live on their own and the past 72-hours have made that abundantly clear.
I spent most of last night in the ER with my 77-year-old mother and then have been bunking on their couch to help take care of her and my 79-year-old father.
I am the youngest of six children. I have always known that I would lose my parents earlier in my life than most children do nowadays. (This sucks a duck, by the way.) However, the flip side of this is that I have always tried my best to appreciate my parents while they are here with us.
The last year has been hard.
I have watched both of my parents decline to the point that they can do almost nothing. When my brother and I needed to go out to get things like a hospital bed, pain pills and a walker for my mom, the amount of preparation to make sure that food, water, the TV remote, phones and every other thing you could think of was in reach of both my parents because they just couldn’t do it on their own.
My parents have always been POWERHOUSES of work, responsibility and caring for themselves and others. It is hard to see them like this and it is so very difficult for THEM to accept their limitations.
Allowing others to care for you despite your pride is a difficult battle.
I have such empathy, as I have been in that very position. And I knew that it would not be until the end of my days.
The good thing in this is that I firmly believe my mother will recover from this injury.
It was very needed though to firmly drive home the point to everyone, especially them, that THE TIME HAS COME.
The amount of work ahead is daunting. The number of details and money and consultation and pondering is great, indeed. But, as the youngest, and as I saw how it would be difficult to impossible for the situation to work with most of my siblings (Not all…there are other options other than me and they are being strongly weighed as to what is the best all round for my parents and most importantly…what THEY want. This is their live primarily and I have utter respect for them as my elders to even dream of pushing something down their throats.) my husband and I have thought exhaustively over the years as to how we would juggle everything, where everyone would live, and how this would all work.
It is too much to go into but if my parents do end up with me, it would be just fine. It will absoluely be difficult and hard and taxing but honestly…I primarily see it as a HUGE blessing and HONOR. My parent’s presence in my day-to-day life would be a big blessing to my family and I would love it if they were with me. More importantly, though is that we all want what is best for everyone. My siblings are working together beautifully. It is of the utmost importance to everyone that three things happen: No one has bad feeling. My parents will have all the financial protection and future ability to receive care as possible. And finally…what they want to do.
We’re having a family meeting about it on Sunday and I have total peace that it will work as it should.
The interesting thing is that despite feeling exhausted I feel quite strong.
I am pain free for the first time in my life and have been given a clean bill of health in all areas. (Ok, I still have and will always have, severe ADHD, but beyond that I am solid as a rock, yo.)
I am ready for what comes.
All is well.