Wikipedia defines family as “a group of people affiliated by consanguinity, affinity, or co-residence. In most societies it is the principal institution for the socialization of children. Extended from the human “family unit” by affinity, economy, culture, tradition, honor, and friendship are concepts of family that are metaphorical, or that grow increasingly inclusive extending to nationhood and humanism.”
I agree with this.
Mainly because nowhere in it does “between one man and one woman” enter into it.
I realize my definition of family is more flexible than some.
I’ll cut to the chase–
I am an inactive LDS (Mormon) person.
This means I do not go to church and can be quite naughty at times.
But honestly…my opinions on this topic would be the same, active or not.
I assure you.
I do not think being gay is wrong.
I think gay people should be allowed to marry.
I try my very best to respect the beliefs of others and their opinions. And it can be a challenge because I am at odds politically with about 97% of my “real life” loved ones. (And I cannot tell you just how much this sucks and is tiring, difficult and sad for me a lot of the time.)
I try my best to hold to my beliefs while respecting others.
A lot of the time I just stay quiet.
But when I hear statements that were made by Boyd K. Packer on behalf of the LDS (Mormon) church that I consider just…wrong?
I speak up.
I cannot hear quotes like this:
“If we’re not alert, there are those today who not only tolerate but advocate voting to change laws that will legalize immorality, as if a vote would somehow alter the designs of God’s laws and nature … what good would a vote against the law of gravity do?”
“Some suppose that they were preset and cannot overcome what they feel are inborn tendencies toward the impure and the unnatural,” he said. “Not so. Why would our Heavenly Father do that to anyone?”
And not vocalize how STRONGLY I DISAGREE with these statements.
(“Why would our Heavenly Father do that to anyone”?! REALLY?!)
I thought about picking apart his words and countering each argument and then throwing out years of frustration about this topic to you all as bluntly as he did, but I am tired. And I don’t think I have anything to say that hasn’t been said before. And honestly, this blogger says it in such an eloquent way:
“It is painful to be so at odds with my Church on this issue. It is especially painful to see the Church’s anti-homosexuality arguments take such a step backward; it is one thing to say, as other apostles have done, that the Church opposes homosexuality and that “we don’t know” why some individuals appear to be biologically predisposed toward same-sex attraction. It is another thing entirely to deny that God would ever create an individual who would be unable to fulfill a mandate of reproduction, or to equate homosexuality with pornography, which is a sin of lust, exploitation, and disordered desires. “
There haven’t been times in my period of inactivity that I have been grateful for my heathen status, but I am today. I do not envy those that are still faithful Mormons and have to grapple with this issue in their hearts. Because I KNOW it does NOT sit well with many, many members. My heart goes out to you and hope that you find peace how you can.
You have no idea what it has taken for me to stand up here and say these things. I am not really sure why this is. There is NO issue that I am more passionate, steadfast and vocal about than gay rights. I am not embarrassed about it, nor do I think I have been cowardly in vocalizing it as I have spoken up about it in virtually every single corner of my life except this place.
It’s been puzzling why I’ve been almost paralyzed with fear to and it took talking at length with my beloved (and lesbian) sister, Linny, to figure out why.
She said it perfectly.
“Because, not only is it the Internet and subject to a huge audience beyond your control, you also know that this subject causes real loss and destroys things, friendships, relationships and families. You’ve lived it.”
And Linny is right.
I know how this subject literally rips loved ones to bits and pieces.
Because it happened to us.
To my family.
My once dysfunctional-but-devoted-and-loving-family was blown APART by Proposition 8.
And I do not think it will ever be put back together again.
And there are not enough words or definitions in Wikipedia to describe the hurt in my heart about it.
I’ve never really talked about it online.
It has hurt too much to write about.
And my passionate stance has caused SUCH heated argument with people I love and care for that I can’t think about it very much.
It has not always been pretty.
And I guess that part of me has just avoided writing here because I haven’t wanted to hurt people I care about or cause anger, upset, controversy or harm because friends and family who hold these beliefs are reading my blog.
But Linny is my family, too.
So is Nooncy, her partner of two decades.
And at the end of the day, I see nothing wrong, or immoral, or sinful, or dysfunctional about homosexuals that needs to be fixed.
I don’t think there is one thing wrong with my sister or or who she loves and how.
I do not consider her being a homosexual as a trial or burden she has to bear.
I would never undo her love for Nooncy or her place in our lives.
I love my sister just as she is.
And at the end of the day?