Yah. That one.
While I have been Diet Coke, Caffeine, aspartame, and carbonation-free for 4 weeks now, I am sucking a major duck at this working out and weight loss thing.
I think that doing all of those things at once has really been too much to chew.
Granted, I have been struggling with stuff lately, so it seems that everything is a little much to chew.
Not that I haven’t had some progress in the weight loss area, I have.
I have lost almost 6 lbs.
I just…ehem…gained it all back.
Since I had a weight loss deadline, I REALLY should have opted to not try to quell my chain Diet Coke drinking because when I gave it up, my mouth started freaking out with boredom and screeching like the bass-voiced alien plant from Little Shop of Horrors, “FEED ME!”
While I haven’t been horrible about WHAT I eat, I have been bad about how much and how often I eat.
The result is that I have a Diet Coke-free body, but a performance in 18 days and I still don’t fit into my freaking dress.
It called for drastic measures.
My friend, Michelle and I signed up for a month long “Bootcamp” at our gym.
We had our first session this morning at 9am. Which felt like 8am due to daylight savings time. (In case you are wondering? 8 am to a night person like me feels like 3 am to you morning-type people who like to kick the rooster’s ass in the morning for being slovenly and lazy.)
Bootcamp is an hour long session, three days a week and it is HARD.
My friend, Chelle is quite a strong, tough chick and SHE deemed it difficult, so you can imagine what that means for me.
There are lots of people in the class and you can pretty much sort us into three different categories.
First, there is the UBER-fit category. That would be 2 or 3 people that are the type of hard-working, high accomplished people that I look at with a mixture of rabid jealousy and admiration.
Then there are those in the middle. People that are pretty fit but are not sprinting around between sets to keep their heart rate up and doing pushups with their pinkies and one foot suspended in the air like the uber-fit category.
There is me and Doris.
Doris is a very sweet woman in her 70′s and when we were sent on two “Warm up” laps around the track, we quickly fell behind everyone else. (That may have something to do with me not exercising in a year, but I’m not sure.).
As the uber-fit crowd breezed passed us, Doris just sighed and shook her head.
I decided to take the “Fighting underdog” approach.
“It’s just you and me, Doris! Let’s give them hell!”
Luckily, Doris has a good sense of humor and didn’t grimace overly when I cursed. (Memo to me: Don’t curse around sweet, little, old ladies you have just met. It’s insufferably rude. Sigh.)
Sadly, my tough aspirations didn’t carry much weight with the overall results.
We came in last in everything.
To be frank, a lot of the time Doris was handing my flabby ass to me on a platter. I wouldn’t want to arm wrestle her any time soon. It would probably be a humiliating loss.
Still…I did it.
I made it through the hour.
Even though I came home, ATE A DONUT, and curled up on my bed and slept for FOUR STRAIGHT HOURS in a deep, drooling coma, I still made it through and I am proud of it.
I go back on Wednesday.
I’ll let you know if Doris kicks my ass again.
I’ll try to work on not repeating that whole “Donut and coma” thing.