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Is this a bad sign?

I have been sneaking teaspoonfuls of vanilla frosting from a tub in the fridge. Thursday night I kept waking up and padding to the fridge to take a spoonful. I went through so many spoons that I finally just left my spoon on top of the tub in the fridge so I would know that my cat hadn’t licked it but I wouldn’t have gone through my entire spoon drawer by morning.

Jonathan let me sleep while he got the boys off to school. About halfway through the morning routine I heard Jon exclaim, “All right, boys! WHO got into the frosting last night and LEFT A SPOON on it!!!!!”

My kids were falling all over themselves in denial that it was their doing. I was seriously tempted to let my 10-year-old take the blame.

Instead, Jon got a sheepish peep from the bedroom, “It was me honey. “

You don’t want to know the reaction. Suffice to say, he had plenty to say about a 32-year -old mother who sneaks frosting in the middle of the night and considers letting her children take the blame for it.

It didn’t stop me craving its cold, thick, vanilla YUMMINESS, though. I ate the last scoop this afternoon. “Ate” is a kind word. I scraped every last bit out and then ran my finger along the inside to ensure I got every delicious morsel. Picture those movies where you see users picking up the last cocaine flecks from their snorted lines and then rubbing it on their teeth in and you get the idea.

I want more frosting.

Sigh.

Sweat, Seniors, and Sundays.

I have to find a way to make Sunday’s less about food and more about people. I ate WAAAAAAY too much crap last night at game night. (For those tuning in, I have found a way to make Sunday’s less sad this year by going to play games at Brian Joy’s house with Karen, Mary Ellen, and Brian’s sister, Sherry.)

I go to rehearsal for 2 hours and since Brian, Mary Ellen and I are in The Messiah together, we go straight to Game Night from there. I usually miss dinner and show up starving and pig out on junk. Not good.

Other than once again eating my weight in shortbread, Sunday was good. I had an excellent 3-hour conversation with a new friend, Rachel. She’s been around a bit on this blog and is the newest addition to our Game Night Family.

Rachel is a delightful and interesting person who works at an assisted living facility and loves musical theater. I convinced her to join the chorus for the upcoming production of “The Messiah” and it’s fun to have another friend participating in it. I’m glad that I got to know her better last night for several reasons:

1. She confided things that she doesn’t usually talk about and told me that it is because she knew that I would never make a judgement about it. That is a really nice thing to know about myself.
2. It was very cool to hear about the inner workings of her job. .She regaled me with the most fascinating tale about how a disgruntled senior resident tried to run her over with her Jazzy chair this week. (Bwaaa ha ha ha. I’m sorry, but the imagery is pretty priceless on that one)

Of course, I plowed through a quarter of a box of Pecan Sandies while we chatted and ended up feeling like suckasuckaSUCK because of it.

I worked my ass off at the gym today. Michelle told me that her birthday gift from Me, Karen and Brigdy is to run a 5 k the week of her birthday. I think this goal is awesome and something I was working towards anyway. SO. I have until JUNE to run three miles.

EEEK.

I have found that I love getting up a good sweat and pounding my guts out on the treadmill. I freaking LOVE my new IPOD. It helps my work out a LOT. My neighbor works at my gym and told me that she saw me running yesterday.

“You should have said, HI!”
“Well, I didn’t want to bother you. You looked really focused and pissed off.”

Not the worlds best compliment, but it’s true. I take all my inner rage at things I can’t control in my life and just pound the crap out of the exercise equipment. You would be surprised at how just how much rage and anger dwells deep inside affable, funny me. Sometimes so much of it pours out of my body that I start shaking and can barely talk. It shocks even me and has been pretty detrimental to me health-wise. It has to go somewhere, right? Since I’m unwilling to subject people to it, and the whole “I hate God” thing is getting old, it makes sense that I should at least get a firm, toned rear end out of it all, right?????

Hmmm..
Bitter, flabby, Hag…
Pleasant
, toned, Babe…
Bitter, flabby, Hag…
Pleasant
, toned, Babe.

Yeah. I’ll go with the latter, thanks.

Progress

I have decided to post once a week with the progress of my fitness plan. I am getting a “Before” photo and yes, I will post it. EEEK.

I have been doing really well with this whole “Eat better and exercise” thing. I realize that it is still early on, and that I will most likely (No, ABSOLUTELY) falter and stall in this progress, but I am really enjoying how I am feeling.

My gym experiences have been good, except that I need to figure out the whole music thing. Music is a must have to stay motivated for me. I made Michelle’s day when I told her that when I need to kick ass and get motivated I listen to Olympic Fanfare themes. I don’t think she guffawed that much since she found out that my father called the hideous pink inside my corner cupboard “Titty Pink”. (Yes, yes he did. Sigh)

Back to the music thing. My headphones are too small to work with the TV treadmills and since I prefer music anyway, I am going to have to get some kind of pocket/waistband carrier for my portable CD player.

Over all, it is going differently than other fitness programs I have tried in the past. Instead of feeling like I am getting my ass kicked by my work out, I feel like I am making IT work for ME.

I have certain things in place that make my chance of succeeding in this venture much higher:

1. I have a dedicated “Work Out Pal”. That would be, Bridgy. She is very dedicated. What keeps her motivated is that she knows I have no vehicle at my disposal during the day and so she knows that if she doesn’t come pick me up, I won’t be able to go. It’s good for both of us.

2. I joined a gym. It is just easier for me to have a set place to go with everything I need in it. I love the improvements they have made and it has a lot of perks and pluses. In addition, the hot tub and steam room really help in the recovery process so I don’t feel like hud when I am finished.

3. I am motivated. I freaked out at my recent weight gain and back injury and just how I have been feeling lately. I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired, my health sucks, I have significant medical problems and I need all the help I can give my body, so it is time for a CHANGE.

4. I have long term and short term goals for diet and exercise. My short term goal is to have lost a total of 25 pounds by the end of March when I perform “The Messiah” . I am also planning on being able to run one full mile without stopping by then (I don’t care how long it takes, I just want to be able to run it). My long term goals are to continue to cut out as much refined sugar and flour as I can, up my iron intake, drink more water and to eventually run 2 miles in 16 minutes. I am also going to work to a 5 K. race this year and quite possibly a much longer relay race the next.

5. I have good supplemental tools: I have been reading a lot more fitness magazines. My friend Michelle is the running goddess and has loads of good tips for all things healthy, and I found the coolest online meal and fitness tracker thanks to Jess in Logan.

www.sparkpeople.com

I have mentioned this before, but I’ll say a bit more about it. First, it is FREE. Second, it is awesome. You can make it as much or as little as you want in terms of involvement. There are forums, articles, goal charts, meal plans, exercise plans, you can make your own personal page, contests, award points, it has EVERYTHING. And did I mention it is all FREE?????

It has really helped me to keep track of my diet and work out goals, and it includes quality of life goals as well. I track everything I eat on there, which is essential for me to do at first since I want to lose 15-ish pounds by April. Here is a sample of the nutrition tracker. I couldn’t get the whole thing on here because it is too big, but this is the weekly progress chart that is on the bottom of the page of every day you track so that you not only see the daily information, but the bigger picture as well.

NUTRIENTS: GOAL 2/1 2/2 2/3 2/4 2/5 2/6 2/7
Calories: 1200 – 1550 Add Food Add Food Add Food Add Food 787 754 1,233
Fat: 27 – 60 Add Food Add Food Add Food Add Food 22 11 24
Carbohydrates: 135 – 252 Add Food Add Food Add Food Add Food 98 139 181
Protein: 30 – 136 Add Food Add Food Add Food Add Food 56 35 37
Iron, Fe: 100 – 150 Add Food Add Food Add Food Add Food 25 123 51

I have lost 10 lbs. since January!

Yay!

Only15-17 pounds left to go…