There have been some setbacks in all of this life-improvement I’ve been doing.

There have been things that have really discouraged me. I missed my credit card payment and was assessed a late fee. I mean, seriously. I have like, two things I am in charge of financially and I have screwed up on it two months in a row. That makes me feel pretty inept. I have just had so much going on, I forgot.

I have also had a major laundry SNAFU that caused me angst. Pretty much everything that could go wrong with this load? DID.

I had been doing laundry all day and juggling that with well, everything else. I was just burned out from the day. The kids were difficult and we had just struggled through some really complicated homework for them both. I asked them to gather their laundry and I admit that I just wanted to be DONE and wasn’t paying attention. I didn’t dissolve the detergent in water like I normally do, I didn’t even check anything. I just threw the clothes in, scooped in detergent, pushed start and slammed the lid shut.

Problems with that?

For one, I forgot that I had just washed a load on “Small” and “Delicate” settings. And…I didn’t check the stuff the kids gave me other than it was all a dark load.

So…Not only do I have a half-damp, half-dry load of laundry with clumped on, hardened detergent, but I discovered that one of the pillowcases the kids gave me was COVERED IN CAT POO. And not a small amount of cat poo, either.

Yippee.

THAT clean up process was just no fun. No, not at all.

BUT!

I have had some really good things that have been happening, too! I feel so much more pulled together and in control. My kids and husband are happier and I am having the satisfaction of knowing that I am working hard and any “Down” or “Fun time” that I have is well earned. It makes it sweeter, somehow.

For the last few weeks I have been trying to make a daily goal of trying to tackle one area of my house and eradicate the clutter in it. The surfaces of my house are clutter magnets, especially because it’s so small and there isn’t a lot of storage. Also, because I am a cluttery, cluttery person. So far, I’ve gotten the two worst areas (My bedroom and the living room) under control. Well, actually the WORST area is my computer desk and office, but I am just not up for it right now.So…I’m happy with that.

I have also been able to keep up with dishes, laundry and general picking up. This “Clean as you go” has always been a toughie for me. I am used to being fairly lazy and then BAM!!! I clean, and clean and clean to a microscopic, scrub with bleach and a toothbrush level. To the point of exhausted burn out that takes quite a while to recover from.

I love cleaning sessions like that. It’s very therapeutic. I clean when I am totally pissed off and it makes me feel better.

The kids have had some hiccups in their schooling, but due to sticktoitivness, we’re back on track. I still love volunteering in the classroom, and I’ve been teaching them how to cook. While we usually eat together, I have been putting more effort into the meals that I serve.

It’s been good.

Family time has been good.

I wish that Jonathan and I had more time together. Alone, couple time. Jon has been working a ton of hours and I’ve been on my own till pretty late a lot of nights. It’s been ok. I have been in hermit mode so I don’t mind staying at home a lot more. Besides, it isn’t like I haven’t seen people. I’m going to lunch with a group of Cache Valley Bloggers, so that should be fun. I am also planning on getting together with my homies sometime this weekend.

Although…Maybe I should be more concerned with my mental state after allowing “Homie” to be anywhere in my vernacular.

My next task is to find a really good shampoo and conditioner. I have thin, frizzy, slightly wavy (As in, a totally unattractive way) hair. I know that this sounds like a lame thing to worry over, but there are SO many products out there. I have a site that I love that reviews makeup, skin care, etc. (Check my sideblog) but she states that she doesn’t narrow down hair products too much because there are so many good ones.  I was considering Bliss Supershine Shampoo, but I’m not sure.

Any suggestions?

**Edit-Or shall I say “Tons of edits”. This post has changed quite a bit from the original. I MUST call attention to the fact that I am also wearing my NEW GLASSES in this posts photo. Yup. I went with the “Naughty Librarian” pair. They rule. Now, I really must work on not tinkering with posts once they are up. You poor, pestered, feed readers! What I must do to you! I can’t help it, it’s like picking at a scab. Walk away from the keyboard, Loralee. Now. You can do it!

I know many of you will run shrieking from the length of this post. For those less drama-infused, you will just scroll down and let your eye take in a few of the more pertinent words in each paragraph. This is more a post written for me to look back on in future years and (Hopefully) measure my progress. You could just skip it, but you will be missing a ROCKING photo of me in sweats and tiara.

Don’t let the title of this post scare you. I’m not going to stand up on a desk and go all “O, Captain! My Captain!” on y’all, but I do want to talk about the phrase made famous by cardigan-clad Robin Williams. Continue reading →

**Edited to include another brilliant creation by “Photoshop Dave” (For those who don’t know, Dave will send me brilliant and hilarious photos he creates to fit my blog entries by using photos in my archives. He has total permission to do so and they are always such a hoot!)

I am a stay at home mom. There is a bit of confusion from time to time because I will write, “When I was at work” or something similar and I will get an email with an inquiry that usually involves a statement like “Wow, I haven’t read in a week. Did you suddenly get a career and I am just totally out of the loop???”.

Alas, it is nothing that grand.

Sporadically (Yet, fairly steadily) I get small and insignificant side jobs. Sometimes I am bored and the job is fun (Working in a bookstore), sometimes it is necessary (Working as office manager for my husband’s company) and sometimes it is because I want to make my own tiny bit of money to save for something important to me like my dream trip to the UK this fall (My current job). With this current job of mine I have been deliberately obtuse on this blog. You’ll see why.

In January, my husband told me that the couple who were contracted to clean his company’s office building weren’t going to continue and he wondered if it would be something that I would be interested in doing? I hadn’t really ever thought of doing something like cleaning offices before, but I really want to go to the UK in the fall. The pay was decent and it was only about 4-6 hours a week and I could work at night. So, I said yes.

Last week I had a startling realization:

I am a janitor.

Dude.

I am not totally sure how I feel about this. On one hand, I have never, ever been ashamed either for myself or on behalf of others for doing decent, honest work. On the other hand, I AM A JANITOR!!!!!!!!!

At least this title is a bit easier to swallow since purchasing my new car. Because truly? The whole going to the janitor job while drive an ‘83 Station Wagon was just a little too hard to take some days. If it is hard for me to swallow, you should see my awkwardness in explaining that I do to people.

People have various reactions to it. There are times I can tell that they are trying their best to keep a casual face and not judge, but it is still goin’ on in the cranium. When that happens I start freaking out in my head, “DUDE, I CAN FEEL THE JUDGEMENT!!!! STOP THINKING THAT I SUCK BECAUSE I SWAB TOILETS 3X A WEEK! Oh, and you have some spinach stuck in your upper front tooth. I am not going to say anything about it to you since you are such a hater. So, pppth!!!”

Even worse than that though, are the sweet, well-meaning people who get that “Look”. When I was telling one of my friends about my job, they got “The Look” and I said if they were about to use the terms “Courageous”, “Admirable” or “Brave” I would have to severely hurt them. I also said if they call me a “Sanitation Engineer” I will be forced to start ripping out their arm hairs one at a time.

Unless I just decide to accept my fate about it all. Maybe I can start a network of janitors and form a faction that is plotting to take over the world like the diabolical janitor with no name from “Scrubs”.Don’t fear, I have zero plans on inundating you all with “Tales from the toilets”. Actually, given my abhorrence of all things “Excrement”, I can’t believe I actually agreed to do this job in the first place. At least I don’t have to deal with bitchy people doing this, which is more fab than I can begin to tell you. Actually, there is pretty much zero people interaction at all. Unless you count Wednesdays.

I hate Wednesdays at work, and let me tell you why in two little words: MARY KAY.

Now, before I get hordes of you pink fans emailing me like the Amway fans that think I am a hater, let me say that Mary Kay can be awesome. I am a total fan of the Timewise system and they have a completely sweet lip mask set that makes my mouth soft and munchable like nothing else. Lots of women have found their niche in the world due to this little company and I admire it.

THAT said…

The office building that I clean is not just any office building. It is a freaking HUGE office building with like 50,000 square feet. They rent out a lot of it to other businesses. A Mary Kay faction rents it out on Wednesday and it almost always involves craploads of perfume, glitter and a boombox blasting “I believe I can fly”.

These big weekly gatherings of women can irritate me like no other. I am just not a fan. I have never been “Into” large groups of women doing anything, really. I tried to join a sorority my freshman year and pretty much snorted and giggled so much during initiation because I thought it was STUPID that I was sorta univited. When I was an active LDS person, Enrichment Night used to make me break out into hives. I am really not sure how I survived being PTA President for three years.

Every Wednesday, I am required to walk into this room full of very nicely groomed women and gather the trash from the cafeteria. I always have to go in in the middle of their meeting and it fills me with apprehension and DREAD. It doesn’t help that the trash has usually been crammed full of 8 billion Styrofoam packing peanuts and pink makeup boxes and so retrieving the trash is rather awkward and long. Usually, this involves about 30 pairs of eyes looking at me and taking in my hair (Usually hurridly thrown into pigtails, a bleach stained t-shirt and Army cargo pants and a sweater. I may or may not have smeared eyeliner at that point as well. I hate it. It probably has to do with the fact that 90% of the time that I am at work, I look like a homeless person. I live in total fear that one day I will be accosted because they will think I would make a great charity case. “Awe. Let’s give the poor, fugly janitor lady a makeover and bring some joy and grooming into her bleak little world!”

I know. I’m being wenchy, but it is still a fear, and I sense that it is not all that unreasonable, either.

Over all, though it has been an ok little job, actually. And frankly as long as it means that come September I am able to fulfill one of the biggest dreams of my life, I can put up with toilets, mop water and even Mary Kay and be pretty damn grateful about it all.