As Christopher just turned 8 last week, he is now old enough to join the Cub Scout program. Last night Jonathan and I attended his  first “Pack Meeting”. We were introduced, did patriotic things, did dorky cheers instead of applauding, made “Water Rockets” and consumed creamy ice pops. Oddly, this was my first pack meeting, ever.

James has been in the scouting program for three years, now, but because he is the only child of my first husband, I agreed to let he and his wife do all “Scout duties”. Besides, they are the pack leaders, so it makes sense. While I have been supportive by attending events like the banquets and the pinewood derby (James has taken 1st or 2nd every year ON HIS OWN, thanks much), I let James stepmom handle the rest. When the mom gets a pin, it goes to her. She helps him with the projects, she should get the recognition.

So, it’s really like I am just starting out with Christopher.

I have been having hesitation with the scouting program. For one, there is always a worry about your boys being hurt or damaged. I’m not putting a stamp of generality on the program, but it has happened a lot. It is scary to put your kids physical and emotional well-being and innocence in the hands of other’s, be it leaders or other boys. Mom’s just worry about this sort of thing.

I also can’t say I was uber excited to find out HOW THEY PUT OUT CAMPFIRES AT THE END OF THE CAMPOUT.

EWE! EWE!! EWE!!!

BUT. Christopher LOVES being a scout. He has been wearing his shirt every day for about a week. He has been patient and excited about being a scout for years. Scouting and the Mormon church are very tied together. It is something that you just “Do” starting at 8. I wanted to be Girl Scout, but the church is not affiliated with the Girl Scout program, so my mother said, “NO”. I was totally pissed because I wanted to wear the Brownie uniform. It was totally cute and you got to wear gloves with it.

I guess in the end, it was probably for the best. I think if I had that much access to Thin Mint Girl Scout Cookies I would have probably weighed WWWWAAAYYY more than the 280 I ended up at.

MMM…Thin Mints…

I guess that I can look at the fact that I have had three boys and NO GIRL in a more positive light. See, if I HAD a girl (Lily, in case you wondered), I would probably force her into Girl Scouts just to selfishly fulfill my childhood Brownie uniform dream. This would mean participation in the annual cookie drive. That would be dangerous. Oh, it would start out innocently enough…A box here or there, purchased to “Be supportive”. But as I munched on those dark disks of utopia chilled in my freezer while pressing white Brownie gloves, I can see my need for them growing. It would lead me to the dark side of the cookie path. I would start hiding those green boxes of happiness to keep my growing need for them a secret from friends and family. As the need grows, my assets would shrink. I would have to move money around to keep my husband in the dark and it would lead to the utter drain of our bank accounts. Once the saving were burned through, and the stress from having no way to pay to keep my water on built and built, it would cause catastrophic late night Thin Mint emergencies, finally leading my daughter to wake up on delivery day and find a mass quantity of IOU’s instead of cookies to take to people!!!!

What? What’s that you say?? Shut the hell up and get some help already?

FINE, THEN! I didn’t want to talk about Thin Mints with you ANYWAY!!! It’s obvious you are just a jealous hater of the Girl Scouts and probably lead a miserable, cookie-less life, don’t you!!!!!! What did the Girl Scouts ever do to you? Who made your inner child totally bitter by denying you Thin Mints as a kid???

Hater.

Where was I?

Oh. Scouts.

So, while the “Cheers” you must actively and energetically participate in to applaud the kids getting awards are WWWAAAYYY cheesy and even though I have major “Meet other, more capeable mothers” anxiety, the kids have a blast. SO? I’ll go every month and cheer on my boy, even if I feel totally rediculous acting like a “Rocket” blasting off and exploding with 10 other sets of parents that look equally dorky.

I wonder if Jon would let me get white gloves for Christopher to wear with his uniform.

Hmm…The possibilities…