I went and spewed most of my litany of crazy for an hour tonight.
I said very. difficult. things.
I was too scared to be hopeful.
They didn’t make me feel bad or crazy or pathetic. Instead, they ended by calling me, “Delightful”.
NOT the reaction I was expecting, but it helped the twist in my tummy ease up considerably.
Maybe, just maybe, I can hope that this could be a good thing. That this might work.
*I know some of you are confused and since I have 50 people coming to a BBQ tonight, I don’t have time to answer the very kind emails I have been getting about this, so I’ll just spill it (A little).
I started seeing a therapist yesterday.
I have been thinking about this in earnest for a few months with the help and support of my friends and family. I finally made the big step and made my appointment after talking for several hours to a friend who is a therapist and “Testing the waters” about giving it another try.
It is a very big and scary step for me because therapy has really damaged my life in the past. I am frightened about it all. However, I think I may be able to let this guy help me, though it is hard to be too hopeful. I will probably start a written, private journal about my experiences with it, but I wanted to write down how I was feeling after my first visit because as I said, this is the only journal I have currently. Thanks for the encouragement, though. It’s appreciated. XOXOXO