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Happy 13th Birthday, son! (Does this mean that you are suddenly going start hating me tomorrow for no apparent reason?)

August 26, 2009 By 32 Comments

People have asked me, “So, what on earth are you going to write about for your next post after all this?”

That is probably the easiest question I have been asked in this last week because I knew exactly what I would blog about today-

My kid.

james kindergarten

Happy birthday, James.

You are one of the joys of my life.
You are a wonderful son and an amazing brother.
I loved you from the first time I saw your sweet dimples.

I love you to the moon and back.

Forever,

Mama.
turbanage

P.S. I am sorry if this embarrasses you.

P.P.S. Ok, not really. I have been waiting to foist mushy, public, mom displays of affection for my teenagers on them since I was enduring the same treatment from your grandmother. You know, for sheer revenge.

P.P.P.S. NOT that revenge is ever a good thing to do, son.

P.P.P.P.S. Unless of course you are ever shoved down to the ground on the playground by a kid with the nickname of “Meany Mikey” because he wanted your turn on the monkey bars and you said no. In THAT case you absolutely have my permission to take your carton of milk at lunch and bag of cheetos and pour the contents into his coat pockets.

P.P.P.P.P.S. Not that I would ever do that or anything.

P.P.P.P.P.P.S. Anyway, just take the high road. It’s easier. Although it also means you will probably have fewer interesting stories to tell when you are grown up. Which isn’t all bad and means that you probably won’t have people calling me when you’re 34 and tattling to me about your blog.

P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. And, son? Don’t take revenge on me for this by writing about my incontinence in my old age. I’m your elder. Show some respect.

P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. Thank you for talking your little brother into doing whatever the freak it was that prompted this photo. It’s pretty much made my life. Just so you know.

Filed Under: Adventures, Bitching, Bits of Information, Every Day, Friends, Kids, Serious Things, Suck 32 Comments

Addict in training. (I like to start them young)

June 19, 2009 By 10 Comments

*Edit: Added Post Scripts (I know) about who is going to follow who and blah blah blah.

Hi, Bloggity People!

This is Baby Looney Tunes. Not only is this my very first blog post, but I also did my very first tweet today!
Fullscreen capture 6192009 13102 AM

Fullscreen capture 6192009 13034 AMI liked it so much my mom agreed to sign me up for an account!

She thought the idea would help her out, too.

I heard her telling my dad that this way she could let ME talk about most of the baby stuff going on in her life because she was writing and tweeting about me all the time. And that as ADORABLE as I am (and I totally am) not everyone is as in love with me as she is and wants to listen to tweets about me barfing in her hair. (Whatever. I am totally rad. Everyone loves me. Baby barf in hair is just an added plus. It adds protein and fragrance. Dig it.).

This way, those that can listen to baby talk go on and on and on CAN FOLLOW ME .

All the baby info and yammering she wants to do can be done without her having to create a whole separate blog just for me (even though “The Snoring Baby Burrito” would be a groovy blog name) and she can go back to mainly tweeting about her ta-ta’s and other grown up stuff for those who are not baby insane. (Um? What are ta-ta’s? Anyone? Anyone? Fry??? Fry??? Bueller????)

Isn’t my mama smart?

I’m really glad she came up with this. The way that she’s been talking to me like an idiot for the last 4 weeks I was beginning to be very afraid that she had some major brain damage going on.

So? WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

FOLLOW ME, yo!

Kisses and barf buckets,

Baby Looney Tunes
(aka-”The snoring baby burrito”)

P.S. I feel bad for my mom. She gets overwhelmed trying to keep up on Twitter because she likes to talk to people and when she tries to follow too many people it makes her eyes start bleeding (or something.) Since I am totally cool and since my mom has been thinking about following everybody who followers her, she’s going to follow everyone I do and see if it makes her small attention span brain explode or if she can pull it off.

P.P.S. And I follow EVERYONE. Except for Porn Spammers. My mom says I’m too young.

P.P.S. Sadly, I think I got my mama’s Post Script gene. Luckily, I also inherited my father’s Vulcan-like control and logic. This way it doesn’t get out of hand to the ridiculous level. WHEW!

Filed Under: Adventures, Bitching, Every Day, Friends, Kids, Serious Things 10 Comments

Memo

June 12, 2009 By 32 Comments

Yes, the weird as hell alien baby widget ticker thingy that was counting down my due date has been removed from my sidebar.

About damn time, huh?

The emails and commentary about that thing during the last 9-months has been amusing as hell.

Just so you know. :)

P.S. I also added Aaron to “The Cast” page if you want to investigate and (hopefully) chuckle.

P.P.S. And I’m sticking to ONE post script this time! Can you believe it?!

P.P.P.S. Wait…I just ruined it, didn’t I?

P.P.P.P.P.S. GREAT.

P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. AND I JUST did a million post scripts in the post I put up, like, YESTERDAY. So, I am now being totally redundant.

P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. What if that means that I’ve gone stale and can’t think up new material to write about? What THEN?

P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. Does that mean my blog is doomed to be one of “those” blogs? The kind that get so old and tired only the few faithful stick around until vultures start circling the damn thing just waiting for it to die and be abandoned? You know, the ones that lose their URL and become a site advertising online black jack and porn?

P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. AND now I have to be all worried and concerned that weird pervs with gambling issues are going to be coming around from Googling keywords like “where can I play blackjack online and watch porn at the same time?”

P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. And what if, say, one of those pervs is like, the 1% out there that are REALLY pervy and do totally grody things like scrape my photos and photoshop obscene things on them and resale them on the black market in south east Asia???

P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. And what if it doesn’t just stop there, hmmm??? I mean, what if I and my stolen, modified, black market porn photos make me an underground celebrity with the pervs in South East Asia and someone tracks me down, kidnaps me and I’m sold into white slavery somewhere????? WHAT THEN, I ASK YOU?!

P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. Great, just GREAT! All I wanted to do is take down some out of date ticker on my blog and now I’m a victim of human trafficking that will end up with some horrible STD like swine flu of the labia.

P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. Which would SUCK.

P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. I really, really, REALLY need to start getting more than 2 hours of sleep a night. And possibly some professional help as well.

P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. Still, if I DO end up as a white sex slave in some god-awful place OR with swine flu of the labia, I am TOTALLY blaming you bastard people who bitched about the weird as hell alien baby widget ticker thingy in my sidebar in the first place!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S (Just so you know.)

Filed Under: Bitching, Every Day, Friends, Kids 32 Comments