My little pat of butter is ONE today, people.

I cannot quite wrap my head around this.

It seems like just yesterday when I took this and announced I was FINALLY expecting.

Then the NEVER-ENDING-PREGNANCY full of illness, scariness, disappointment in gender, clotting disorders, needles, endless ultrasounds and stress tests and insurance hell.

But he was so cute, even in my tummy.

And even though I was so sick I could barely walk at the end, I was happy.

And then?

May 19th, 2009 came and the decision to induce was welcomed because I was NOT doing well. So, I was ready…and pretty dang hawt looking if you ask me.

Or, I was hawt UNTIL MORE HORRIFYING PAIN THEN A HUMAN SHOULD FEEL HAPPENED, THAT IS. (This photo is made even more charming by the “CENTRAL LAUNDRY” print on the gown, no? I look like I’ve broken out of the home, y’all. Also? The next time I try to go through NINE HOURS of INDUCED labor UN-MEDICATED to try and save two grand on an epidural? KICK ME IN THE HEAD.)

Then?

He was here in all his wee modesty.

And I felt more joy than I ever, EVER thought I would feel again.

Every single day has been a joy because of Aaron.

EVERY single one.

I could, and do, watch him for hours and hours and hours on end.

Staring at him is a favorite pastime of mine.

I meet this day with a bittersweet feeling.

How did he go from this?

To this?

SO FREAKING FAST???!!!!

His first year, my very favorite time in the lives of my children, is over.

And that makes me want to sob.

But?

He is still here.

Healthy.

Breathing.

ALIVE.

And no one, NO ONE will smile a brighter smile today than his mama because of that.

I love you, little one.

You are my heart–thank you for bringing so much joy and healing to it.

I’m 35 years old today.

Technically, this means I could meet the age requirement to be The President of the United Sates. Since that is about the ONLY requirement I meet for the position besides the fact that I was born here, nobody has to frighten themselves with that thought.

Hee.

I wanted to have my White House recap up today, but I’m currently riding around Gettysburg battlefield and only have about 2/3 of it done and I want to finish my sight seeing and my party tonight, so we’ll shoot for Monday or Tuesday.

I WILL tell you that it was one of the best days of my life. Here’s a sneak peak to tell you one of the many reasons WHY:

(For those wondering what standing on that podium was like, yes… I about passed out and died.)

It’s been a good birthday thus far today (except for the fact that I am apparently woefully under prepared as I have no “zombie survival plan”.) My friend, Erin, came down from Baltimore to hang out with us all day. She’s been reading me for four years, since the days of Blogger Minima Black! I’ve LOVED hanging out with her and she is coming to my birthday bloggity meet up at Clyde’s tonight. (7:30pm in Columbia, Maryland. Be there or be square, yo.)

Thank you so much for the birthday wishes.

I really appreciate all the love that pours out from this internet of ours.

It’s amazing.

xoxo!

I got my bag from Bluefly.com today.

The UPS guy drove up just as I was starting the hideous task of de-jungling my yard and flower beds. Jonathan’s birthday is on Saturday and he has opted to take his geeky self and several of his geeky friends down to his office to spend the whole day and night with their geeky computers all networked together to play endless amounts of geeky computer games.

Not MY idea of a fantabulous birthday, but since I don’t have a million and one Leathermans, flashlights, phones and other forms of geekary attached to my belt at all times, I know that I “Just don’t get it”. It’s his day, he can do what he wants. I just want him to be happy.

As I will be kid-free that night, I will most likely be curled up with a good book or movie and possibly a vat of cookie dough, but you didn’t hear that here.

Back to my yard.

Since Jonathan is turning 32 (YES. HE IS OLDER THAN I AM, OK? He loves calling me “Mrs. Robinson”. We are not amused.), I did want to celebrate his birthday at some point. We have good friends that grew up with Jonathan visiting from Virgina and since we wanted to get together with everyone we just decided to throw a BBQ on Friday to celebrate both events.

Which means our first outdoor party of the year.

Which means I don’t just have to clean my house, I also have to get my yard ready. Which is not easy. My trip to Minnesota (and my inadequacy of dealing with my life-suck) has put me WAY behind on my yard. The biggest problem has been with our mower. It has been at the shop since the first thaw and so my yard has been HORRIBLE. The weeds in my area are crazy bad, too. It took a very long time, some serious swearing and about 3 herniations to get the whole project done.

I swear I thought I was going to find Jimmy Hoffa amongst the weeds in my back garden. GAH! I managed to get the 200 lbs of Sienna red chips scattered, all the flowers planted and my herbs potted, and made sure that all half acre of the lawn was mowed, even though it means that I am going to need to take eleventyhundred Aleve so that I can walk tomorrow. Although, since I also had a rehearsal full of the Charleston combined with tons of frantic house cleaning, I REALLY don’t think that there is much chance of that. I am in bucketloads of back pain and I can just imagine what a night on my suckass bed is going to make me feel like in the morning.
Back to my yard. Again.
All through my gardening process, I kept eying my box from Bluefly. I left it on the porch as a visual reminder that I had something AWESOME waiting for me. Call it a, ‘Don’t stick the pruning clippers in your eye, Loralee. Just finish the damn garden so you can open me!” pep talk if you will.
I finally got the last of the weeds thrown in the wheelbarrow as it turned officially dark and then went inside to guzzle water and open my box to see my new purse!!!!

DUDE.

Total disappointment.

It’s…Boring. And stiff. And the leather is nubby, which you can’t see in the photo and which I hate. The ruffles look stiff and awkward instead of feminine and it just isn’t something that I really want to spend a hundred bucks on, even if it was 60% off.

AND…it was designed by JESSICA SIMPSON.

I think that last tidbit was the final nail in the coffin for me.

It’s so disappointing.

It’s SO being sent back.