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Movie Night!

May 8, 2007 By 12 Comments

**Edit

I finally went to see the movie, “Hot Fuzz”.

SO freakin’ hilarious. It has everything: Guns, Cops, Britain and “By the power of Grayskull” as a catch-phrase. What more could you possibly ask for????

I was accompanied by my friends Karen and Brian J. We had a jolly time of it, although I was caught on film doing something very naughty indeed. Sneaking concessions into a movie. GASP!

I’m sorry, but there are time my soul just fights against the fact that I have to take out a second mortgage to finance a trip to the snack bar. I don’t do it all the time, but tonight I was a sinner. Actually, I kinda outdid myself and snuck in a 44 oz. Diet Coke in my purse. I also managed to get in a big pack of Red Vines in there as well. My purse rocks the house. We called it “The Mary Poppins Bag” for the remainder of the evening.

(EHEM. Guess who found her camera! Yes, it is true. My trusty sidekick is back at my side. Poor baby was under the seat of my car in a hidden little area. She missed me. Sniff.)

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**It looks like “Photoshop Dave” has complete faith in what my Mary Poppins Purse is capable of. And all for Tuppence a bag. Who knew???

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This is a gray area for some people. I used to work a concession stand at a movie theater in high school. DUDE. You would not believe the stuff people sneak in!! I have found cases of beer bottles, pizza boxes, KFC family meal containers and the box of a huge sheet cake before. This is the most elaborate I think I have ever gotten. (Well, there was the infamous Subway Cold Cut Combo incident of ’04, but my record has been expunged.)

I actually didn’t mind working at a theater, except for the fact that I probably ended up consuming roughly 32 extra-large Hefty Outdoor Leaf Bags full of popcorn out of sheer boredom. (Well, that and having the manager make us rip off the public by showing us how to charge extra for butter so that his numbers, and therefore bonus, would increase). I also think I am still trying to digest the 7,000 boxes of Dots I used to buy on my breaks. Eating my weight in those falsely flavored fruity snacks seemed like a good idea at the time, OK? Which is another reason that people should not be allowed out into society between 3pm and 7am unless they have had rigorous IQ and judgment-skills testing. Although, if that is the requirement to leave the house to go into the big wide world, I would probably still be under house arrest.

Never mind.

So there you have it. True confessions of a concession sneaker. I wish I could say that I feel really horrible about it, but I really just don’t have a problem bringing stuff in on occasion. I know, yammer away at me. While you’re at it, go campaign to save the penny as well.

Filed Under: Adventures, Friends, Movies, Photoshop Dave 12 Comments

I think I know what to get Jonathan for his birthday

May 7, 2007 By 3 Comments

Talk about a flash from the past! Not only would this make me laugh my ass off, but I think it would totally bring out the color of his eyes, don’t you?

Thanks to Walking Backwards for the link. His links always make me howl.

Filed Under: Sideblog 3 Comments

Games

May 6, 2007 By 21 Comments

I think that it is a well-established fact that I have the worst luck on the freaking planet.

Bad luck, poor Karma, negative energy, just desserts, being smited by God, whatever you want to call it, I have it. There are a lot of weird and disastrous things that are in my life due to my own poor choices/life-skills/histrionic personality. That said, there are a ton of bizarre things that just happen to me. I was going to make a list, but it’s late and I’m tired. Feel free to throw out any Loralee disasters you can recall in my comments, though. Given appropriate time and distance away, they’re always good for a laugh.

Because my life-suck can be so gargantuan, I am amazed at the one area that I have killer luck in: GAMES. Of all kinds. I kick serious, serious tail at playing games. Not the emotional kind (Though I play those as well, much to my shame), but your average board or card games. I even rock at Twister and I have major back and body suck.

Sunday night is game night at Brian J’s house. We play a variety of games and it just so happens that I am really good at them all:Clue, Life, Cranium, Quiddler, Scatagories, Mexican train…You name it, I win it. Even the games I don’t really care for and whine and bitch about (Phase 10 and Hand and Foot) end up going well. I’m even brilliant at strategy games which really throws everyone as I am so chaotic and scattered. I can’t even get anyone to play Trivial Pursuit with me anymore.

Sigh.

It’s just weird. My winning-ness usually leaves everyone perplexed and scratching their heads in confusion.

In fact, the only time I ever lose perpetually is when I am playing Canasta with my family and I sit next to my sister, Linny. Linny is the Macheavelli of Canasta. Don’t play with her. Seriously. You will never be the same. I think part of it is that she looks nonthreatening with her tiny build and wire-rimmed spectacles. It’s all a clever front for one of the most diabolical card-minds on the planet.

There are two games I will.not.ever.play: Monopoly and Risk.

No, it isn’t because I lose at them. It is because I turn into a frothing, diabolical, plotting, twisting, person that makes Napoleon look like a wussy pansy. Seriously, I start to grow horns and scales and make deals with the devil to thwart everyone playing. It just turns me into an ugly person. My roommates in college didn’t believe me. Every Sunday it was “Loralee, come and play Risk with us!” I would TRY to explain, but they kept asking. I finally gave in and played one game with them. I won. I ruled the world by destroying all that was in my path. I was never invited to play again. I think that my head twisting around full circle, the red, glowing eyes and levitating might have put everyone off a bit.

There is no real point to this post except that it is yet another weird, little thing about me and it is relevant because I wiped the floor in Scategories this evening. I also perpetually wonder why some of that amazing winning-ness and good luck can’t just ooze through to real life.

It would be lovely if it would.

Filed Under: Every Day 21 Comments