In an ideal world, the “About Me” page is supposed to contain a pithy, perfectly written tidbit meant to lure you deep into the bowels of my blog until you become a devoted reader that devours my every word and develops an overwhelming desire to have “I heart Loralee’s Looney Tunes” tattooed on your naughty bits. Reality sucks a duck, yo.
You’ll just have to make do with this:
My name is Loralee.
I was born in 1974.
I live in Utah*.
This is me.
Aren’t I smokin’?
Unfortunately, I would say that this is probably a more realistic portrait of the “True Me”.
Except in this photo I actually got my pudgy little butt to the gym, so scratch the sweat. You can leave the the IPOD, though. And fugly hair. And left over eye makeup.
Ug, that is just depressing to look at, so we are just going to pretend that I always look like this:
(You should see some of the looks I get when I go to the grocery store.)
Currently, I look like this.
Only it is a weirdly attractive photo. However, since I posted the fugliness that is me post work-out, I think you can handle cutting me a little slack.
That should do it for physical appearance.
What’s my personality like? We’ll just leave it at this for now. 
As for talents and my “resume”: I blog, I’m a mom, and I am a former musical theater/opera singer that is versed in playing witches, alcoholics, whores, men, nuns, and bitches.
I am super blessed as far as fiscally rewarding talents go, no?
Should you read me?
1. If you take life waaaay too seriously? NO.
2. If you don’t like reading silliness? NO.
3. I am not really a “Mommy blogger” but I DO have children and this IS a personal web log. I try to give my children, husband and people in my life as much privacy as possible. I try to stick mainly to ME because of that but they do come up from time to time. So, if you don’t like reading blogs by women who have had few children launch out of their hoo-hoo’s and they actually write about aforementioned spawn on occasion? NO.
4. I’ve been through a lot in my life and this place is not all roses and sunshine. So, if you are uncomfortable reading about difficult subjects? NO.
5. If randomness bothers you? NO.
6. If you are a troll or otherwise disagreeable person, asshat or douchbag in your commentary? NO. Actually, HELL NO. Seriously, life is too short. If you don’t like what you read, move along and good luck to you.
If you can handle that, the fact that I dig Air Supply, my raging Diet Coke habit and the fact that I like CAPS! Italics!! Exclamation points!!!? and the occasional tacky-as-all-get-out emoticons despite knowing THEY ARE ALL WRITING NO-NO’S????!!!
We’ll be fine.
:)
Just don’t send me photos of your tattooed naughty bits.
I scar easily.
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*To clear up the whole “Utah and Religion” topic that I get asked about all the time.
Yes, I am a Mormon. An inactive Mormon (Which means that I.don’t.go.to.church.and.am.rather.naughty.) so PLEASE DO NOT equate me as a representation of this religion in any way, ok?
I stopped going to church a few years ago when my son died, but I am still on the records as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. If I ever choose to practice a religion again, it will be that one, so please realize that while I have some big issues, I am also protective of it.
While I don’t mind answering questions (to the best of my ability) or discussing it, there is no need to write me and tell me that I worship a different Jesus. I know your heart is in the right place, but I had a very anti-Mormon grandmother, so I am well aware of the different arguments.
My personal opinion is that Jesus has enough love for us all.
Stumble it!
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