*Edited to include an acknowledgement of perhaps the funniest typo ever :)
Yes, it’s true…As soon as Aaron turns 3 next month, my family and I are returning to the Mormon church after about a 9-year absence. It’s been something that my husband and I have been talking about years and very seriously for the last 3-years….ever since Butterlump was born.
Even though my husband and I didn’t attend church we made sure that our children went with their grandparents. THEY LOVE IT. LOVE. Even the 16-year-old. However, my little one is about to start turn three and that is when Primary starts. We have moved far enough out of town that it would be VERY difficult for them to come all the way out there and all the way back to take our children to church. And frankly, my parents are too old to be chasing an active toddler around and with my Father in Law in Afghanistan and taking other grandkids to church, my mother has her hands way more than full.
And I am NOT one of those parents that send my children to church with the neighbors. It just doesn’t sit well with either Jonathan or myself.
I had the Bishop (Lead clergy) of our ward (congregation) over for dinner and I made it VERY clear that I am returning to church for my children and frankly, for social reasons so that I can get to know people and have some fiends(*EDIT-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. This has got to be the FUNNIEST typo ever. Thanks to you who pointed it out to me.). It’s not that people are shunning me here, but frankly when you live in a town where the population is SO heavily one religion, it is just easier to find friends if you go to church. Nothing about my lifestyle is going to change. I don’t want any callings or visiting teachers or home teachers or be asked to talk or pray or anything like that.
He was very understanding and fine with that.
I also make it very clear that I could never fully return because I am so against the church’s stance on gay marriage and women I wouldn’t know where to begin and that there are other issues I have. I don’t want to really make this post (OR THE COMMENTS, PLEASE) to be too much about doctrinal issues with the LDS church. (I had the MOST anti-Mormon Southern Baptist grandmother ever and have read and heard more literature than your average person. I am not interested in another church. My reasons are my own.)( Let me repeat that again, I don’t want this to be the focus, ok? I’ve already had some of you drunkenly tell me it’s a cult and had hate mail. I’m really not in the mood for it. M’kay?)
I am not changing this blog AT ALL. The only thing different about me is I will be schlepping my brood to church once a week and their weekly youth groups. So, please don’t leave me? You can if you have very strong feelings but I sure hope you stick around. I am really going to need the support.
Some of you may thinK (and have told me) that I am a hypocrite for having my children attend a church that I don’t attend as well. I can see that argument, but I think mine trumps that.
Some people ask me why not let them decide to go at 18. I think that faith needs a chance to grow in children when they are young.
I also don’t want my issues to be my children’s issue. However, I am also living my life the way that I have for the last while because I don’t want my children to think that people who drink coffee or wear tank tops are evil, like I did.
I WILL be respectful and follow the rules at church (modest attire and watch the potty mouth) but I will also be very honest why I am there.
I have met some REALLY great people in my subdivision of about 50 people. Not everyone there is LDS but most are and frankly…I’d like to see if I have any kindred spirits among them.
I am VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY stressed out about this. There was a wearhouse sale at a Modest friendly outlet (Downeast Outfitters. I love them.) And I went on a shopping spree and bought DRESSES, people. And skirts, and cute tops. I figure if people are going to ever talk about me, it won’t be because of my clothes. :)
Before I could decide to return, I had to call my beloved older sister, who I love very much and who is gay. I haven’t spoken about it much but our family was DEVASTATED by Proposition 8. It fractured us and I could not return without her blessing. She was wonderful. “There should be more Mormons like you”. (I think she is the only person who could possible feel like this.)
I want to do this like sticking a fork in my eye, but my children have been BEGGING us for years to go as a family and again…I want Butterlump to have the chance for faith. And sending them with family is no longer an option. So? I’m their mother. It’s time to step up, whether I want to or not.
Basically, I want my kids to be happy and comfortable NO MATTER WHAT CHOICES THEY MAKE AS ADULTS. If they want to be Mormon, fine. If they don’t want to be Mormon, they will be fully educated to make that choice. If they want to be Jewish, fine. If they feel like atheism would make them happy, ok. If they want to move to SoHo with Antoine to try and try to sell tacos out of a food truck or try to be a business suit wearing type, OK. (Except if they do that whole moving to SoHo with Antoine they better find some way to give me grand babies, dammit.) I will love them however they are…as long as they are true to themselves.
As long as they are happy, I won’t care. But I know it will be easier for them to feel comfortable if they choose to walk the Mormon path if they go when they are little.
I feel completely scared but somehow I feel, no…I KNOW I am doing the right thing for my family.
It’s time to try to make some kind of peace with God.
I’m leaving the comments open. It’s risky for me because I could REALLY skip the hate. But man…I could REALLY use some support and some hugs from you all. Even if you don’t like Mormons and think they are bat shit crazy.
P.S. Plus, this LDS song? Is so dang fun to sing. I’ve missed it. Along with some other things. Our church is more than just a church. It’s a culture. (Which can also stress me out to no end by trying to be perfect. Thus? The compromise.)
P.P.S. Rhett, you are never aloud to whack me with kitchen implements when I swear ever again. ;) (Inside family joke.)