I know it’s been a bit.
I had to deal with the death of my puppy and due to the way she passed, the memories that it brought up of my little boy dying.
It was rough.
I went to New York for a day to get away from my sad. It killed my back but was great for my soul. (Thank you, Emily and Chrysula and McDonald’s. I love you all.) I will write about that trip a bit later, now is not the time.
I also had some changes in my personal life. I’m on a ‘break’ from a friend. Who knows what exactly that means, but I wish her well and will always love her to bits. (I realize it seems like I lose every friend I make, but it’s really just one friend who is on and off. Just so you don’t think I am an individual that can’t maintain friendships. I can.)
She and I are just…well…I truly believe they would always have my back or be there to listen to me if I needed, and know she loves me, which I love and appreciate. She is crazy busy right now and I am HUGELY proud of her and want her to succeed in what she is doing. But…When you update your facebook eleventyhundred times but don’t have time for a few words to a friend? It’s spells out ’they just aren’t that into you’ anymore, if you get my drift.
And I don’t do that kind of friendship. One sided or begging for attention just doesn’t work for me. And really…it wouldn’t for them, either; As much as I love her and miss the friendship.
So, I just point blank asked if the friendship wasn’t working and if they needed a break.
And like I said..while they’ll always be there for me if I need them, I could almost feel the relief pour through the screen.
So, that’s that, I guess.
I’m good, though. Who knows where it will go, anyway.
I have a LOT of good things that have happened lately.
For one, I was quote in The New York Times. It’s a small quote but as the daughter of a career-long newspaper man I am over the moon happy. (It will also be in this Sunday’s edition, I believe.)
I am hesitant to share this news because well…I don’t want ANY misunderstanding that I loved my puppy Pinkie with every ounce of love I had to give.
My arms aren’t empty anymore.
My parents couldn’t stand watching my pain over Pinkie anymore and they bought me a new little Maltese.
I wanted to name her Merciful and call her Mercy because that is how I feel but the boys didn’t like it. So, I named her “Lady”. I figure I already have a little “Bug”, I might as well have a “Lady”.
And we ALL genuinely love, adore, and worship our new little blinking cotton ball with all our hearts. I’ve only had her 3-days and I would do anything for her.
She loves her mama and I love her.
I hope you all can be happy for me.
Because while I still tear up and ache for the puppy we tenderly buried in my back yard, my heart beats for the warm little fuzzball curled up asleep on my pillow by my ear.
For this moment, I am happy.
And that is enough.