“Wow…I didn’t realize things were so…bad”.
“It’s OK…not many do.”
It’s a conversation I have often when people see me or talk to me on the phone.
You kind of have to be here to see how the extent of things I guess. I look and feel awful. I thought about titling this post about my herniated disks “The Battle of the Bulge” but then I thought of some poor 7th grader trying to write a social studies report about WWII and stumbling upon this drivel and just couldn’t do it.
What you’re looking at is the MRI of my spine. You see the disks and the white ribbon thing next to the disks are where the nerves are. The top two disks are normal disks. The next disk is ‘aging’. The next 2 disks are the issue. They have ruptured and are pushing clear through the nerve sheath and causing the pain I’m in.
We were hoping the MRI guided shots would help more than they did, but they DID help to the point that I didn’t want Jonathan to kill me from the pain. And no, that is not theatrical at all.
I’m having surgery on March 14th.
Many have asked what you can do for me for my surgery on the 14th…just think about me and that it turns out well. Drop a line of love if you want to. I have CHERISHED every expression of love I’ve received online. I have tried to check in and read when I can.
I am sorry I haven’t written more. It makes me nauseated to read large amounts of text at a time which is why I usually text, Tweet or Facebook, if at all. And the drugs I’m on are as powerful as you can get without being in a hospital which makes writing REALLY difficult. So, I have been writing this post a little bit at a time and as due to the serious and sucky nature of it, I was trying to make it as funny as possible.
But I don’t feel funny.
One of my favorite bloggers and best men on this earth passed away yesterday.
Most of you didn’t read Lex, but my respect for him not just as a person but a blogger was large. He was a a blogging MACHINE. He posted almost every day, usually 2-4 times a day.
And he was kind. He often dropped me little emails or DMs of encouragement and I will miss him greatly. I am in shock and devastated.
Blessings, Lex. You were greatly loved and will be missed.
I went through the herniated disc thing in 1995 and I have so much sympathy for you. At times, it literally hurt too bad to think. I never sat down for 6 months because it was too painful – I stood all day at work, stood to eat, laid on the floor the rest of the time. I got surgery and it helped me immediately, though I have heard of others for which it did nothing.
Sending good thoughts.
Owwww.
March 14th cannot come soon enough.
And I am so very sorry about the loss of Lex. He definitely will be missed for the thoughtful insights he provided.
Just want to say I’m so sorry. Sorry for your loss and for the pain that you’re in. I hope you recover from surgery swiftly. You have people thinking about you and sending healing thoughts who don’t even know you.
I hope your surgery is more successful than mine was. The pain sucks. You are not alone in this chicky. I’m so sorry about your friend.
I am so sorry for the loss of your friend.
I am praying the surgery is successful – they have come SO FAR with back surgery in recent years, I can’t think of anything but to be relieved that it is finally happening for you. Betcha March 15th, the world looks like a different place.
My husband had surgery in his twenties for something similar. Hang in there! I am sorry for the physical pain, and also for your emotional pain of losing someone dear.
I so hope your surgery will bring you some relief, both physically and mentally. So sorry for the loss of your friend. I’m sending much love and good hopes. Love you lady. XOXO
Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you, my friend. I’m so sorry you’re in so much pain and so sorry for the loss of your friend. :(
Will be sending good thoughts your way – the 14th and every day. xoxoxox
I am praying. For all of it.
I’m sorry, my love. I wish there was something I could do to make things better for you. I’ll be praying that the surgery goes well. Hugs.
My sympathies on the loss of your friend. That MRI is astonishing. I can’t imagine breathing without pain. My very best thoughts to you on your surgery. Hope it mends you once and for all.
Loralee, we truly have lost a friend. Lex was a great inspiration to me, and a guiding light through some pretty dark and dismal times the last few years. I’m in shock actually and not processing this well at all. Hang in there with your back. Crying with you today. Stephen.
Wow, it definitely is more serious than originally thought. It’s no wonder you are going through the pain you are. I had no idea the discs had actually ruptured. Last I heard, the specialists had told you they were probably only herniated. And from your MRI, it looks a bit worse than mine. I did have at least one other disc aging than the 2 that ruptured, but it appears you have more that are aging than I did. If I’m not careful, I can have more discs rupture in the future. My mother had to actually get some titanium discs put into her back after some pretty terrible ruptures. Let me testify to the pain Loralee is going through. There is no comfortable position to be in. All you can do in this state is make the pain less severe until surgery comes. When this happened to me, I could not get any sleep at night. I would sit sideways in our bathtub with my knees up to my chest most of the day (had been laid off from my job prior to the injury). Here’s to hoping you can make it through to the surgery and that the surgery goes well, Loralee.
Hugs and prayers to you. I can only offer love and kind thoughts. Take care woman and good luck!
Hoping the surgery will be a success in ending the pain in your back. I’m so sorry about your friend. Take care of yourself.
Sorry for your personal tribulations Loralee. I wish you the best in the upcoming surgery. We will all be sending good thoughts your way in one form or another. Get well soon!
Ouch, ouch, ouch. My prayers for your doctor and your body… May it heal quickly!
XXX OOO,
Debbie
Loralee, I am so sorry for the physical and emotional pain you are in. I am thinking of you and hope you are able to find relief from the surgery and solace in the memory of your friend.
So sorry to hear about all of this–a friend of mine is also suffering from a herniated disc right now, and I know how much she’s been immobilized. Losing a friend isn’t going to help anything, either, since you’ll miss him and I’m sure it’s frustrating you to not be as “there” for his loved ones since you have so much on your own plate. Supportive thoughts going your way, and good luck with the surgery!
Sending enormously good healing vibes to you from Ireland. I’ll be thinking of you this month and sending you all the luck of the Irish I can hurl across the Atlantic at you! xoxox Vx
btw, over here “hurl” just means throw!!! ooops. just remembered you americanos tend to use that word slightly differently… eek!
we even have a traditional irish sport called “hurling”. for real :-)
Hoping things work out well, and your pain is eliminated. Best wishes
Adding prayers for a really successful surgery for you. And I know what you mean about Lex.
Miss Loralee, saw you were absent at Neptunus Lex. Sorry to hear about your back. Best wishes on the surgery. Please be careful.
Oh man, the news about Lex is just too much. Feels funny to be crying about a guy you haven’t met. One of my co-workers (a test Pilot) flew with him in the Navy.
Please take care pretty lady.
Hey Loralee,
I’ve been thinking about you lately, and hoping you were recovering. Very sorry to hear how severe this is, my wife went through pretty much the same thing (including the surgery) some years ago, and while it took a while, she has healed up very nicely with few lingering after effects.
I am just sick about Lex, and thought about you when I heard the news as well. I know you two had a special connection, as the only lib-mommyblogger to conservative fighter pilot milblogger one I ever heard of! I had been working with him to try and get my own publishing house to print his manuscript, which was in the works (at some level) when I et them know the news this morning. He was really something unique and special, like you, and our world has been a better place for both of you being in it.
Prayers for you, your family and the doctors. Take care, my friend.
I’m sorry about your friend, Loralee. Such sadness. And I’m sorry about your pain. I love you.
I am so sorry for the loss of your friend, Loralee. I lurked there, and so enjoyed it.
I hope you find some relief soon from your pain.
All of my love going your way, dear friend. I hope you find the pain relief you seek. Chronic pain is an asshole.
I love reading your blog – love both your honest rants and your happy raves. I’m so sorry about all that terrible back pain … I’ll pray the surgery does way beyond the best of what they hope it will do for you. And thanks for the introduction to Lex. Deeply sorry for your loss …
My dad crawled into the hospital, literally, and walked out pain free. Same/similar thing that you’ve got going on. Lots and lots of prayers that you do the same!xoxo
Hi! Just wanted to delurk and say that I hope you are holding up okay and that I know you will do well. Will be thinking of you as you go through surgery – and I am so very sorry about your friend. Hugs.
I totally get it, and I’m sorry, so so sorry that you have to go through this. I’ve told you my story before.. I really, really hope that the surgery will help. Like, a lot. Techniques have come so far in just the last few years, so I have great hope for your complete return to normalcy. Hang in there cookie!
Loralee, I’m not a blogger or a regular poster, but I check for a post from you every. single. day. I’m so sorry for all that has come down on you.
Let the treasured memories you have of your friend overwhelm the sadness of his loss. I’m crossing my fingers, toes, eyes, and anything else I can think of that your surgery will relieve the misery you are in.
dear llc
hope all goes well
my back feels good with afoot long rod in it
my prayers are for you and your doctor
The Palinode had surgery for a herniated disk after being nearly bedridden and unable to leave the house, it was incredible to see him actually walk out of the hospital not beng at a right angle. I so hope this surgery offers relief. Having lived through this kind of pain with the Palinode, I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
Miss reading your posts. So sorry you are having such pain. Will say prayers for you on the 14th. Hang in there! It will get better.
Oh my goodness -OUCH. Back pain SUCKS MAJOR SUCKAGE and I am relieved to know that you have answers and a solution. YES a solution because I am on team positive and fully believe the surgery will be a success. I have been checking in here every day for an update and sorta hoped yu would update and say “it just went away”:( I know back surgery is scary stuff as is any surgery but I just know it is going to relieve the unbearable pain you are in. I am sorry it has taken so long for you to find a solution. My back pain is NOTHING compared to what you have going on, that MRI picture makes me cringe for you.
I am so sorry about the loss of your friend. My Thoughts and Prayers are with you at this time.
Best of luck for the surgery….I will pray for success. You deserve a break.
and some
“sucks major suckage” i DO believe i stole that line from you!! Not sure.
Loralee:
I will be thinking good thoughts for you, especially on the 14th. Get well soon, I don’t think I could continue to enjoy the web at all with both you and Lex gone.
All my best,
Paul
Some very sage advice there.
Praying for you as your surgery date nears!
Thinking of you and praying for the best of outcomes for your surgery tomorrow.
it’s the 14th right now – and I’m thinking about you – LOTS. You are such a hero – you really are Loralee! So much you’ve gone through – so much you’re going through – yet you are still such a rose among thorns. I hate it – I HATE it when all sorts of crummy stuff happens to really good people – and YOU are GOOD people. I have already prayed – I just finished – and I’ll be praying throughout this day – doing more than just cursing the darkness – but lighting candles in the dark. And I know – I KNOW – you will be surrounded by angels. God bless you Loralee!
Good luck with your surgery tomorrow! My father had a similar problem and dealt with the pain for decades. He put off surgery until one day when he tried to walk but couldn’t – a vertebra had crumbled and the shards were pressing into his spinal cord, causing temporary paralysis in his legs. It’s been a few years now, and his back pain is a million times better. I hope you wake up after the operation and feel like a changed, pain-free woman!
Sending prayers and good vibes for a successful surgery and speedy recovery.
Holy Moly!
I did not know that that was how a ruptured disc looked, or behaved [pressing back against the nerves like that.]
Owwie.
Wishing you a full recovery.
Sorry about the loss of your friend, too–I think I remember you mentioning him, or seeing him in comments, here a few years ago.
Healing thoughts/prayers/vibes.