It’s ours.

It’s finally ours.

It took me until the age of 37, but I finally own a home.

We got our keys about 10-minutes ago and the hustle and bustle called “Moving” is swirling thick around me as I hurriedly type before the computer is taken apart.

I don’t know if anyone has ever loved a house as much as I love this one, but I love it so much it almost hurts.

When our insurance denied coverage for my high-risk pregnancy with Aaron and we had to pay for everything out of pocket (as an example of how pricey a high-risk pregnancy that goes well can be, I had to have 1-2 ultrasounds a week to the tune of $500 a piece) the biggest thing that was so crushing about it was losing the beautiful tree-filled lot that we were going to build our first house on.  You have no idea how beautiful it was to me. I loved it. I loved the neighborhood, I loved the barn, and oh, how I loved all the trees. (Mature trees on a lot or on the property of new construction is about as rare a thing in Utah as a progressive liberal. Most of the trees in the valleys of Utah were planted by people.)

My little pat of butter was worth every penny we had to pay, but it hurt a lot to lose it.

It hurt even more to move back into the 1,100 sq-ft. house that my mom and dad owned.  It’s adorable and I love it but man…I have lived 10-years of my life sharing one tiny bathroom with a 6’4-inch husband and three boys. We have been so cramped here. If we didn’t have a half-an-acre to spread out on in the summer, I don’t know what we’d do. I am SO grateful to have had it but that whole situation was so difficult and overwhelming…it seemed like I would never have a home of my own.

We just made the best of it and we worked and saved and paid off our medical debt and finally after 3-years, we were in a position to buy a house.

We called Brady Pierce; the best real estate agent in Cache Valley. (That title is not in jest. Brady is amazing, honest and holy cow did he fight hard for us on this house.) and we started the hunt for our home. We came very close to buying a house this summer. It was a house I liked very much. And at the last moment, it fell through. I was discouraged and upset at the time but really…that house was not meant to be mine. I liked it but it had so many things I found myself thinking or saying “I like this, BUT…”.

And then it happened.

We found the most perfect-for-Loralee house located in a neighborhood I always thought was adorable and charming and would think, “Oh, the people who live there are so lucky!” when I would drive by it.

I hoped that I would find a house that I really liked but this is overwhelmingly PERFECT…I love every square inch of it. (I’ll show more photos after we move in, but here are some so you can get an idea. I absolutely adore my kitchen.)

It even has mature trees in the back yard.

As far as I am concerned, I’m never leaving this house.

The next time I move I want to be carried out feet first.

I feel so lucky and so unbelievably blessed.

It’s more than I deserve.

We are going to be so very happy here.

(Ya might recognize a certain redhead. ;) )

Ever want to feel nervous?

Go and tell a world-renowned conductor like Dr. Craig Jessop (former director of The Mormon Tabernacle Choir) that you would really, really, really like to put on a flash mob with The American Festival Chorus because ya know…FLASH MOBS ARE AWESOME!!! YAY!!!!

(I know.)

(I’ve worked with him for 4-years and I still can’t quite believe I had the guts (insanity) to ask.)

Luckily, he is the best sport in the world and he agreed.

WE DID THIS IN TEN DAYS, people.

Well, the idea was pitched three weeks prior to Black Friday.

Then Dr. Jessop picked up the phone and called an INCREDIBLE arranger, Kurt Bestor, to specially arrange a royalty-free song for us. Then we had The Britian War Requiem to produce. THEN I started working on the behind the scene and gathering an INCREDIBLE team together. By a week out we knew we had a location, a film crew, a choir and that was IT, other than what I kept seeing in my head. (Which is a fat lot of good if you don’t have someone help you execute that vision.)

Thank goodness for our choreographer (Stephanie R. White). She came in with only 6 days to call dancers on a holiday weekend and put it all together. THEN we had to work with everyone, logistic the mall and the needed crew and equipment for the sound, figure out the placement, figure out the recording the music, figure out the…the…EVERYTHING. ALL IN THE WEEK BEFORE THANKSGIVING. And pray very hard it would all turn out.

I love it.

And I did NOT do it alone. Everyone knew someone that could, and wanted to help that was KEY in this production. It would not have happened otherwise, period.

It was more work than I care to explain, but let’s say this…if you ever think “Hey! It would be super fun to put together and be in charge of running a flashmob!” Do yourself a favor. Get on a train. Then throw yourself off the train. Then get run over by a tractor. Then have your mutilated body kicked by the irate driver of aforementioned tractor. But if you STILL want to put on a flash mob and know a lot of insanely talented people that will get up at 6am and drive in the bitter cold to practice bouncing up and down in a mall? GO RIGHT AHEAD, DUDE! Because you will need to be that committed.

And?

I had the time of my life.

Please consider sharing this with your family and friends. 

We learned something ANNOYING. Views from video embedded on Facebook do NOT count as view on Facebook. And views are ESSENTIAL in a project like this. So, a big, huge favor…can you use this link if you are sharing on Facebook, consider not having a thumbnail available ? Or if it is easier, just send them here to this post? (It’s a long story but it basically those are the only certifiable fixes on the Google help forum where everyone was having a moo-cow about this issue like I was.)

(AND YES… I am blatantly pimping and begging for shares here but I feel zealously responsible to make sure it is flung far and wide. I’m sure you and the tractor driver appreciate my commitment, at least. :) )

I would be remiss not to end this with some thanks to those whose time, energy, generosity and good will was donated to this production.

Dr. Craig Jessop (Who has an AWESOME Hitchcock-like cameo…see if you can spot him), The American Festival Chorus, Kurt Bestor, WhySound, Klepticenter Productions, Stephanie R. White for her amazing choreography, Irishfre Dance Company, Music Theatre West dancers, The Westminster Bell Choir, The other 5 talented singers who stood in a recording booth and recorded track after track with me an hour after getting the music and last but NOT least, A huge, huge, huge, huge shout out to Preston Parker of MultiMediaWise Productionswho was as passionate about this project and donated all filming and editing. (Which is a bigger thing than you can imagine.)

It was such fun.

Love to you all and happy holidays!

P.S. DID I MENTION I WOULD LOVE YOU FOREVER IF YOU SPREAD THIS AROUND TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW?

P.P.S. Because I so would.

P.P.P.S Or, you know…at least feel very friendly towards you for the afternoon. :D

P.P.P.P.S. One more thing. They may jump of the screen, glare at and possibly bitchslap you, but PLEASE at least attempt to ignore the FIVE FEET OF ROOTS ON MY HAIR. I didn’t have time to eat, sleep or breathe…let alone make friends with Miss Clairol.

;)

I’m helping head up the social media efforts for AFG…if you would like to keep tabs on us (because we have many great things in store) please find us on Facebook and follow us on The Twitter!) And ya might be talking to someone you know from those account, so the more the merrier!

You know that your day is not going very well when two things happen.

One, you have a very disturbing dream where you declare your undying love to Zach Galifianakis (Who, for WHATEVER reason, was wearing a pair of Bacon Pants at the time.) (No, that was not a typo.) by repeatedly sending him installments of a My Little Pony collection that you have monogrammed for him with a bedazzler. REPEATED UNDYING DECLARATIONS OF BEDAZZLED MY LITTLE PONY LOVE TO BACON PANTS-WEARING ZACH GALIFIANAKIS, PEOPLE.

(I know, right? It’s THIS CLOSE to being all “IT RUBS THE LOTION ON ITS SKIN OR ELSE IT GETS THE HOSE AGAIN!!!!”.  Ugh.)

And two, you send a tweet out like this to the Interwebs:

(OH, HUSH! YOU KNOW YOU HAVE ALL DONE IT!)

Y’all remember that time that I used to wear glasses?

Yeah.

That.

I have never been fond of wearing glasses.

I just don’t like the way I look in them.

But hey, they’re easy.

But then one day, I totally lost my glasses and after fruitless searching and driven by this really weird and unusual need to see, I went to see my optomitrist.

(I shall call him “Dr. Awesome Ties” to protect the innocent and totally normal. Also, because he is pretty much the best optometrist I’ve ever seen and he can’t help that he has a totally bizarre blogger as a client.) (Why Dr. Awesome Ties, you ask? Because well…he wears interesting ties that are, ya know…awesome.) (And OMG, he wears pretty much the most perfectly pressed dress shirts I have ever seen.) (AND OMG, OMG, I FOUND OUT FROM AN UNNAMED AND TOTALLY ANONYMOUS SOURCE THAT HE DOES ALL THE IRONING HIMSELF.) (I found out that that is because he was in the Navy for like eleventybillion years.) (He looks really good for someone that is over eleventybillion years old.)(Seriously, if he and Yoda The Wise and Ancient Jedi were in a Glitz Pageant, he would totally win in the eleventybillion and up category.) (For reals.) (Oh, wait…I should totally work in some kind of reference to the Navy in his title since they are at least partially responsible for the mad ironing skills, shouldn’t I?) (Except when I think of the Navy I think of my Dad. And since it isn’t his name, “Dr. Bob Awesome Ties” won’t work.) (OOH! What about the dude in The Sound of Music that is forever blowing that whistle of his? I bet he TOTALLY irons shirts like a pro.) (Except that “Dr. Georg Awesome Ties” kinda sounds like someone you’d go see in an underground S&M shop in Haight Ashbury where you get admittance by flashing a florescent smilee face key chain. Or something.) (Would it be weird to have two titles like “Dr. Captain Awesome Ties”?) (Except that I can’t think that in my head without thinking “Dr. Captain & Tennile Awesome Ties”.) (OK, FINE. THIS IS GETTING RIDICULOUS. “DR. AWESOME TIES” IT IS. THE NAVY WILL JUST HAVE TO DEAL AND ACCEPT THE ACKNOWLEDGEMENT THAT THEY HAVE RISEN IN MY ESTIMATION BY CHURNING OUT SUCH A FINE EYE CHART-DICTATING-AMAZING-IRONING-DUDE.)

Wait…where was I again?

Oh, yes.

Eyeglasses.

I don’t like them.

So, I got contacts.

They are the kind that you can sleep in for a month. (Remember how I mentioned how very fond of EASY I am?).  Dr. Awesome Ties told me all the pros and cons of these contacts. The biggest concern being an infection. And then Dr. Awesome Ties mentioned that since I had a cold sore on my lip I should be super careful not to touch my mouth and then my eyes.

(I have had cold sores since I was a child…likely contracted from my mom kissing me as a baby.) (Thanks, Ma.) (Cold sores aren’t fun but they are not an overly big deal either. I get them a couple times a year, and it is almost ALWAYS brought on by stress and sometimes the sun.) (You can pass it on to people but I never have, to my knowledge.) (I’m careful.) (So, like I said…Not really a biggie.) (Except for one thing.) (For those that don’t know…having cold sores means that I, um…have Herpes.) (And THAT is mainly what makes cold sores totally SUCK.) (For one, nothing says “GET TO KNOW ME” like Herpes.) (And for another, when you are looking all cute and are totally asymptomatic and cold sores are the LAST thing on your mind because you are about to mack like wild sea otters with a good looking guy and THEN aforementioned good looking guy comes out of your bathroom carrying the cold sore lip balm you keep on hand and proclaim, “SHOULDN’T YOU HAVE TOLD ME YOU HAVE HERPES?!!!!!!” you MIGHT feel insensitive, naive, clueless, embarrassed and an inch high because no, it didn’t occur to you. AND IT TOTALLY SHOULD HAVE BECAUSE, YA KNOW…YOU HAVE “HERPES!”) (BTW, repeatedly saying ”HERPES!!” to the girl you were are planning on macking like wild sea otters with kinda kills the mood.) (Just so you know.) (So, yes, there is a stigma with Herpes Simplex I.) (I mean really…CAN’T WE PLEASE JUST CALL THEM COLD SORES AND STICK WITH THAT?!  WHY must cold sores have the same category name as THAT OTHER KIND OF HERPES?! WHY?!)

(GOOGLE ME, EX-BOYFRIENDS. GOOGLE AND WEEP BITTER TEARS OF REGRET THAT YOU LET THIS HERPES-RIDDEN, BACON PANTS-LUSTING PACKAGE OF AWESOME GET AWAY FROM YOU!!)

So, anyway…Dr. Awesome Ties said that I should be careful because there is a chance it could go to my eyes.

WAIT.

WUT?

YOU CAN TRANFER HERPES INTO YOUR EYES?!

Dr. Awesome Ties confirmed that OH, YES YOU CAN. And then said that he had seen some horrible cases of it and other things like gonorrhea and chlamydia make their way into the eyes of the sailors he treated in the Navy.

(Which instantly caused me to have a traumatic flashback to a lengthy conversation I had with my father about his time serving in the Navy in Guam where they subjected everyone to the 1950?s military version of sexual-education. Which seems to mainly consist of the ONE guy in the world you would NOT want to have talk about ANYTHING to do with the topic proceeding to tell so many horror stories and showing so many graphic educational films about VD that I’m surprised anyone even THOUGHT about doing anything with their manly bits on shore leave for fear of it shriveling up, falling off, turning into mythical pixie dust and being scattered by the south seas winds.) (At least that is totally how it seems to me, but who knows? Maybe the Navy version of “uphills both ways and barefoot in the snow” is all about exaggerating about the number of VD movies they were forced to watch in bootcamp.) (I’m still giggling that they referred to it as VD. Heh.)

So, back to that whole YOU CAN TRANSFER HERPES INTO YOUR EYES, thing.

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

See, I am a little bit protective of my eyes.

If you roll your eyes up and to the right you’ll see my baby blues front and center. If you follow me on Twitter, you see my eyes. It’s become a part of my brand. People at conference are forever seeing what my eyes look like in person. It wasn’t deliberate, it just sort of…happened.  But since it has happened, I am not exactly fond of the thought of going to BlogHer with elephantiasis of the eyelid, you know?

So this bit of information freaked me out.

And I was super careful.

Fast forward 5-months.

I got my traditional 2nd cold sore of the year.

And I woke up panicked that I scratched my eyes as I was waking up.

BECAUSE OMG, WHAT IF I GOT HERPES OF THE EYES?!

A week passed and I was fine.

And then.

I felt something irritating in my right when I blinked.

Nothing was there, but it was a little red.

Nothing to worry about…yet.

Then a slight bump showed up.

Then it got a tiny bit bigger and more painful.

And it wasn’t going away.

I started to get concerned at this point. I had my husband look at it. He declared that I had the misfortune of having a pimple on my eyelid or a clogged pore and it would clear up.

Only it didn’t.

AND IT HASN’T GONE AWAY FOR LIKE A WEEK.

I was talking to my BFF Kim on the phone and I was like, “Dude. Have you ever had a whitehead/pimple on your eyelid that hurts and that keeps coming back”?

And she was like, “OMG! YOU TOTALLY HAVE A STAPH INFECTION!”

And I was like, “WAIT?! ISN”T THAT WHERE YOUR SKIN GETS EATEN OFF AND YOU DIE?! AAAAAHHHHHH!!!”

So, I did something stupid.

I got on WebMD.com.

It was NOT pretty.

By the end of hour two I was breathing in a bag to stop hyperventilating that “OMG! I AM GOING TO BE HORRIFYINGLY DISFIGURED, GO BLIND, AND POSSIBLY DIE A HORRIBLE DEATH OF HANTAIVIRUS-MRSA-CANCEROUS-GHONORREAH-HERPES OF THE ELEPHANTIASIS EYELID! AND THEN HOW THE HELL WILL BACON-PANTS-WEARING-ZACH-GALIFINACKS EVER LOVE ME????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After my husband pretty much physically pried my trouble-searching hands off my keyboard and proclaimed me pretty much the lamest and most overly dramatic thing on the earth, he made a suggestion.

“Why don’t you just go into the eye doctor and let him tell you what is wrong with you?” 

Oh.

Yeah.

That.

Kudos to my husband for the only rational and logical thing in this entire post. (There IS a reason he gave himself the Twitter handle @rationaltunes and only part of it was to endlessly mock me.)

I totally should call Dr. Awesome Ties and make an appointment.

And I will.

Right after I whip up a snack.

I have the weirdest craving for a bacon sandwich right now.

;)

P.S. Did you ACTUALLY make it to the end of this thing?

P.P.S. Holy cow. You deserve a prize.

P.P.P.S. Don’t worry, I won’t kiss you.

P.P.P.P.S. I have herpes, ya know.

P.P.P.P.P.S. Perhaps I could interest you in some nice bedazzled My Little Ponies, instead?

;)