I have an identical twin sister.

If you didn’t know that I am a twin, don’t feel bad…I don’t write about her here often.

I have only written a very little bit about the difficulties that my twin sister and I have in our relationship.

We have been estranged for a long time.

And we have had a difficult relationship for even longer.

In fact, it has been difficult for as long as I can remember.

Many of these things are beyond her control…she has damage to her brain and it creates ill-health and social/mental issues that she simply can’t help.

But it hasn’t all been beyond her control. It’s like for our entire life she has been in an intense competition that I wasn’t even participating (or have any desire to be) in.

There were a lot of social repercussions that I faced by being her twin sister.

And that fallout was hard to take as a kid, whether she could help it or not.

I thought things would get better when we were adults but that did not happen.

I don’t want to get into detail but it was hard after the death of my son and well…the straw finally broke during his funeral. I am a very forgiving person. It is very difficult for me to hold a grudge. But I considered her behavior unforgivable. What happened that day made it easy for her to be a target for all that hate and anger and grief that happens when you lose a child.

I had EXTREMELY bitter feelings about her for a very long time.

But like all things, time started to heal me…even if it was a very slow and long process.

Last year on our birthday, I wrote about how torn I felt and wondered if I should call her.

I didn’t.

I wasn’t ready.

On November 7th of this year, we turned 37-years-old.

I offered an olive branch.

I called her.

And she came and had Christmas dinner at my new house.

We will never have a normal relationship. Even if we desired it…as I said before, she has some brain damage that happened at birth and her constant seizing has deteriorated her condition quite a bit…and no one sees it getting any better but rather, worse and worse as she gets older.

So, a ‘normal’ adult relationship is not in the cards for us.

But…I have hope that we can now make the best of whatever kind of relationship is possible for us to have.

At least we’ve made some steps forward.

Fingers crossed.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!

We’ve been in our new house for 10-days.

And in that time I managed to pull off not only moving but getting decorated for Christmas, baking MASSIVE amounts of goodies and hosting both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day dinner for 30 people. Christmas Eve was wonderful and everyone had a great time in our new home. I love it more than I can even say. I’m never moving again…I will be carried feet first out of this house if I have anything to say about it.

My parents came over early this morning for Christmas. It was so much fun having them watch my kids open gifts. They are getting up there in years and so every moment is very important to all of us.

I pulled off the ‘best parent ever’ award by getting my car-obsessed pat of Butter THIS:

He loves cars.

LOVES THEM.

We got a video of him walking in. He’s adorable. (And those are the winningest little boy pajamas ever, I really must say.)

AND I also had a 12-year-old in tears.

He didn’t have the usual Christmas morning haul this year. It’s because he got the majority of his Christmas gift early, which was this little guy:

I’m really rather fond of him.

We don’t have a name for him yet. We have discussed “Dash” and “Reginald” but for now we all call him ‘DA TORDUS” , which is how Butterlump refers to him.

Christopher BEGGED us for a turtle for a long time.

I refused to have the whole ‘water’ aspect (as I know who will be doing much of the upkeep) so, we compromised and on Black Friday, we brought home a Russian Tortoise. He knew that he would be getting his gift early (long story) and so if he chose this gift it would mean there wouldn’t be a lot to open on Christmas morning.

It hasn’t worked out as expected.

The tortoise frustrates him because it sleeps and burrows a lot and as he put it, “I thought it would be so much cooler than it is.”

Hi, kid. Welcome to a thing called LIFE AND HOW IT IS.

Even though he did have some gifts to open and his gift was by far the most expensive gift in the family this year, as you can tell from the family photo, he was really unhappy and sad this morning.

As you can tell from the joyful expression in the holiday photo. (I’m sure it didn’t help that  tortoise peed ALL over him right before we took pictures.)

I know everyone has had sucky Christmases and that is just how life goes sometimes but I’ve never had a kid disappointed in their Christmas before.

It’s kind of a bummer.

Fortunately, I know my son and I know he is truly a sweet, generous and non-spoiled soul.

He’ll come around.

In the meantime, I am just going to enjoy my family today and, of course, remember our little Matthew and SO wish he was here with us watching The Muppet Christmas Carol (My very, very FAVORITE.  ) while we fix our holiday breakfast and prep for my family to invade later in the day for Christmas dinner.

I just want to enjoy the day.

I hope you all had a very happy holiday.

You are the bee’s knees, people.

Truly.

God bless us every one.

P.S. My good camera lens bit the dust in the move so I only have my crappy camera that is in my even crappier cell phone. (OH, HOW I HATE THEE, SAMSUNG VIBRANT.) (Seriously, DO NOT BUY IT. I have been nothing but frustrated with its lack of performance from the get go. Grrrr!) That said, if you don’t mind a chick holding a cell phone camcorder, shaky and skewampus angles as she runs you through house that is still in the process of being moved into, you can take a look at this quick video tour of meh crib.  Hopefully, better photos will follow when things are more prettied up. :)

Anyone who has worked online for 5-minutes can probably relate.

Forgive me for posting a youtube video after a week offline but this is THE funniest thing I have seen in a very long time.

Check the blanket hung as a background, the pen holders full of crayons and the fact that he’s dressed as a cravat-wearing hippie.

Ha!

P.S. Is he died?