There has been an ongoing battle at our house lately.

The subject is ‘manners’.

We are trying to teach our 2-year-old how to say, “Please”.

It has not been going well.

This is the reaction that the request for “The P-Word” usually garners:

(Umm….I am afraid I MIGHT have passed on my theatrical side to Butterlump. Poor little dude.) (I would also like to point out that since viewing this video I have been more diligent about arranging my shoes in my closet.) (I also also got a pedicure.) (And also also also cleaned my carpet.) (I also also also also take NO RESPONSIBILITY WHATSOEVER FOR THE OUTFIT BUTTERLUMP HAS GOT GOING ON.) (I also also also also no longer have a tired quilt that resembles a bad set decoration day on Little House on the Prairie for a bedspread.) (Enough disclaimers for you?) (NO?) (Fine, then.) (I also also also also also know that we will have to tackle ‘nose picking’ next.) (Sigh.) (Moving on now.)

Yes, Butterlump has hit the “Terrible Twos” and even though I am by no means an inexperienced mother, it is hitting me with more surprise than with my other children for a couple of reasons. One, I had almost convinced myself that I could stop time and keep Aaron a baby simply by the force of will and desire. He is likely my last and OMG, IT IS GOING BY TOO FAST, PEOPLE. I’m having difficulty dealing with it, I’m afraid.

For example, I still give him a bedtime (known as “Soft Blankie Time” at our house) bottle.

I know.

I know.

I KNOW.

I know it’s high past time to give that up but I am just not ready to totally chuck his bottle.

And since it is the last “baby” thing Butterlump has going on, I will do THE UGLY CRY when I am.

But that is a post for another day.

It also surprised me because all of my other kids were very easy 2-year-olds. They didn’t really start testing boundaries until they were 3.

Not Butterlump.

We HAVE gotten him to say “Please” several times but it is always a fight.

I’ve found with him that 3-basic things help teach him new behaviors. (And some things are more successful than other just because of his personality. Based on the sheer volume of passionate requests I get daily for “MAMA! TEEF! BOOSH TEEF!!!!!” I highly doubt that saying please and thank you will ever be as wildly successful as teaching him about brushing his teeth.)

Show by example. This is an exercise for me, as well as Aaron. I am not an unpolite person, but I don’t say ‘Please” nearly enough. So I have been saying “Please” and “Thank you” for EVERYTHING. Saying please has not just been something that I do. My whole family has gotten involved. Aaron is hugely lucky to have big brothers that are insanely devoted to him and they want him to achieve and succeed as much as Jonathan and I do. So, they are very good examples to him of what to do and when I need to teach him behavior they often help me illustrate the behavior I will expect from Aaron. I have to say it’s set a nicer tone in our home.

Praise the times he says “Please”. I LAVISH Aaron’s good behavior and it makes him light up like a Christmas tree. Positive reinforcement is really effective for him so I pay close attention to it. (Man, how great would the world feel if they had a group of people that praised them perpetually for everything they did correctly? Ok, it MIGHT get annoying at times but still…)

Take it in small chunks. Though we always say it in aforementioned examples of behavior, we are not pushing Aaron to say “Thank you” yet. One thing at a time, dudes.

Be a broken record. When I am trying to get Aaron to learn new behavior I am a broken record about it. I keep on reminding my kids (and myself!) throughout the day to say please and thank you. If they ask for a glass of milk, I wait for the magic word. If they try to leave the dinner table, I call them back and ask them to ask to PLEASE to be excused. I have generally polite children but we are totally stepping up the game to teach Butterlump and frankly, it’s done us all good. We do drop the ball on it and since this particular word seems to be Aaron’s Waterloo, I’m sure it will continue to be a struggle until, well, it isn’t. But I think like anything involving kids, patience and consistency will win the race at the end of the day.

Anyone else have any tips (or memories!) for/of The Terrible Twos?

I hope you’ll share them with me.

Please?

;)