I love this photo of Christopher and Butterlump.
My sister-in-law, Ksenia, is from Russia. Ksenia (kuh-sin-yuh) is sweet and kind as they come. (She also laughs at all my jokes which TOTALLY MEANS I LOVE HER! ;) ). Last year her family came to Utah to visit her and we all hung out and visited. They didn’t speak English, we don’t speak Russian, but somehow we all got along like peas and carrots.
Her father is a very talented photographer and he took this photo of my boys and Ksenia emailed it to me yesterday.
I love it.
Ksenia wrote some things that her father said that just touched my heart. “He also mentioned to me how he thought Christopher impressed him as a caring brother who doesn’t regard the little one as a nuisance, but genuinely pays close attention to him and takes care of him. My dad thinks that Christopher will be a good husband and father some day. And also that Christopher in this photo resembles a madonna from a classical painting, which reflects Christopher’s attitude of love and concern toward his little brother.”
It’s ALL true.
Every bit of it.
I have the best sons in the world.
You all know my zealous love and adoration for Butterlump, but as my 2 older boys are hitting the teen years I have made a conscious choice not to write about them here as much.
My thought is that being a teenager is hard enough without your mother blogging about you daily on a website that is not exactly unknown by the local community, you know?
But I still love to write about them. They have such amazing qualities. James is so funny and theatrical and quick on his feet and good natured and you just CANNOT get sweeter and kinder and gentler than Christopher.
These brother are CLOSE.
And really, there is no topic that I feel more strongly about as a mother than ensuring that my boys have a strong, committed and close bond as brothers. (As much as parents can ensure something like that, that is.)
I think part of my concern is that James is a half-brother to Christopher and Aaron.
(Did that throw you? Using his given name instead of calling him Butterlump? I like to keep you on your toes, y’all!)
They truly feel no difference towards each other (as Jonathan feels James is 100% his kid), but I know that it bothers James that he will never have a full blooded sibling.
So, I think I have stressed even more that this sibling relationship is very important.
I often tell them that “There is NOTHING more important than your brother. We will be gone one day and you are going to have each other. Make sure that you always keep your relationship strong.”
And while they fight like cats and dogs and often love getting time apart from each other they ADORE each other and rely on each other heavily.
And quite literally they are the best big brothers on the planet.
Butterlump calls them “Memes” and “Fur” and his big brothers FAWN over every little thing he does.
Many, if not MOST, mornings they get up and get him out of bed JUST BECAUSE THEY CANNOT WAIT TO SEE HIM. They feed and dress and change him and read and play and wrestle and tickle and jump with him on the trampoline and run through sprinklers and swing with him on swingsets and watch cartoons and carry him endlessly on their shoulders.
James was trying to get Aaron to say his name practically from the time he came home from the hospital. The effort was stepped up bigtime when Aaron, “Memes!”, pointed and James , and then promptly went on a quest to never say it again.
That kid has him wrapped around his little pinky, like he does us all.
When Butterlump wanted James to take him outside, James was having none of it.
“Side?”
“No, I don’t want to, Aaron.”
“Side?”
“No!”
“SIDE?!”
“NO! I am NOT taking you outside, Aaron! I’m tired! YOU COULD SAY AND DO ANYTHING BUT IT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN, PIPSQUEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
(James might have inherited his theatrics from someone. I have no idea who, though.)
“Memes! Side?!”
“YOU SAID MY NAME! OMGOSH I WILL DO ANYTHING YOU WANT FOR THE REST OF ALL TIME NOW INCLUDING GETTING YOU A UNICORN AND POPROCKS AND SODA FOR BREAKFAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’”
Pushover.
(Not that I EVER bow down to the cuteness that is my 2-year-old pat of butter. Or anything.)
When Butterlump was born he helped fill the jagged, gaping hole in my heart and soul that ripped through me when Matthew died.
The thing is, that hole was in James and Christopher, too.
They were 8 and 5 when he died and they remember their baby brother.
And they miss him.
Last month around Matthew’s birthday I heard sobbing coming from their room. They were both in their bunk beds crying so hard that the bed was shaking. I thought someone was hurt. And they were, but it was the hurt from missing their little brother.
All these years later.
And so they make sure that they are the best brothers in the world to Aaron.
And they are.
My sweet little Band of Brothers.
Raising them has been the sweetest, frightening, funniest, most exasperating, joyfully chaotic and happily amazing experience I think I will experience as a human.
And I am so damn grateful for it all.
I love my boys.
They will be great men.
De-lurking for a minute because this brought tears to my eyes. Beautiful post, beautiful children, beautiful mama.
Hey, James is fifteen already?! Does it mean I can come to USA and marry him?!
You have such an amazing family. I wish my brother stayed like that to me. (He used to be very caring and protective, but then we grew apart. He’s six years older.)
xoxoxoxo,
Amy.
I felt a little bad that my last baby is 3 1/2 years after the one before him (when the others are more like 2-2 1/2 years apart, so, he’s sort of hanging out by himself on the end), but it is so heartwarming to watch the older kids love him! I wish I could have another one because the older kids love the baby so much, and they are so helpful that I’ve been able to enjoy the baby more too =)!
This made me get all teary-eyed. You have a beautiful family. Lots of love to y’all.
my children were 9 years apart.
People thought I was crazy to get pregnant again so long after my daughter’s birth.
I LOVED it and miss it terribly.
She, like your sons, would wake her brother up first thing in the morning, just so she could play with him.
I remember thinking she’d be jealous and worried when i was expecting him.
I was a fool. She was the best sister in the world and he loved her like he loved no one else.
I hope to do it again (because as you know my son is 7 now) with widely spaced apart children.
I remember the photos you would post of them and they adored each other. She was a beautiful, BEAUTIFUL girl, Heather. xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
I almost made it through to the end, but the part about Memes and Fur crying so hard it shook the bunkbed.. tears tears tears.
You have such great boys.
“And they were, but it was the hurt from missing their little brother.”
I think they may have been crying for their mother and father, too.
You have four amazing boys Loralee.
Okay, you made me cry. Love you!
Oy. I am all sappy with preggo emotions, but this just made me cry. My three boys are so close, I am worried about how they are going to accept their much younger little sister who will be here in 10 weeks. Also sooooo glad you are back.
I am so grateful for mothers like you who are raising future gentlemen! I have two daughters, almost eight and four, and I hope they can someday find men that were raised by a mother like you. Thank you for giving the world great men for our daughters to love someday! I know exactly what you mean about them fighting like cats and dogs but absolutely cherishing each other as well. My girls are like that too. Half the time my little one will ask her older sister for help with something before she asks me because they are so close. I really wanted a boy for my second one but I am so glad I got another girl because they are the best of friends!
One of my greatest fears is that my boys will be jerks to or ill-use women. I’m doing everything I can to prevent it. Xo
This definitely made me tear-up. I have two older boys from my first marriage, and I also rarely blog about what they are doing because they are getting old enough t be embarrassed and they love to read my blog. I also worry about the “half-sibling” thing with our younger two but honestly it doesn’t cross my boys’ minds. They LOVE these two little ones! In fact they are out of town and when they call the first thing they ask for is to talk to their brother and sister! I may just have to write a post about their awesome older brother-ness, you have inspired me!
Makes me long for a brother for my son…he has 3 sisters, no brothers. He has always been doted on by them since there is a slight age difference (14, 12, 7 (the boy) and 4) and they were in love with everything about him. Well, that is, until they found him annoying! I love the bond your boys have…beautiful post, Loralee!
What a gift you are giving them, the gift of valuing each other. My son and daughter are older (24 and 19) and they also fought like siblings do, even though I was always in their faces reminding them that they are family. But today, they are so protective of each other. It warms my heart when I hear them talking about each other to someone outside of our family. They don’t call each other by name, but will say “my sister” or “my brother”. It confirms that they have that special bond I always hoped for them. I have a younger sister who is really my 1/2 sister, but I don’t remember that part, just that she is my sister and I love her dearly.
Seriously. Awesome. Kids. And a pretty cool mom to boot!
My own girls are 11 years apart. Sometimes I feel like my heart is going to pop watching them together. There is definitely a mutual admiration (adoration?) club going on. “Kake” (Katie to those of us past toddlerhood) and “Widget” (it makes sense to a preteen, so who am I to argue that her name is Sarah?)
Thank you for sharing your boys with us, even if it’s just a little peek into their lives, and hearts.
Your boys are proof the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. ;)
They will be amazing men Loralee! You and Jonathan are WONDERFUL parents, and are teaching by example.
I got all misty-eyed reading this. Our daughter is 8 years older than her twin brothers and now they are 10 and 2, they can get her to do anything by saying her name. Once they do that, she melts and caves in big time!
This might have been the sweetest thing I’ve read all day. Damn, and I don’t even know you…
That was lovely. I hope the very same for my own little band of brothers…and sisters.
All of my siblings are technically half, but we never paid attention to that. And except for my crazy coked-out sister, we’re still pretty close even now.
I’m the youngest of five with no full-blood siblings. Please tell your boys that it doesn’t matter a bit. Family is about love and closeness and memories. They are all brothers in every way that matters – they are growing up together and will have lifelong memories and relationships.
I don’t call my sister my half-sister. She’s just my sister. (Of course, it’s totally disconcerting to people when I introduce my sister and she’s tall and blonde and strong and I’m…not. But I digress.) Can I call myself an only child? Not at all. I couldn’t get these siblings out of my life if I wanted to (and there have been days). Please help your boys understand that family is family. No blood required!
You have convinced me – you have the sweetest, best sons ever.
And I think James should officially go by Memes.
‘Cause that’s just adorable.
That is a beautiful post. I’m so glad you are back!