In my 6-years of blogging I have never done this, but I have to shut down and leave this space and social media.
For now at least.
Those who have been reading me for the last 6-years and know the things I’ve still managed to blog through will realize just how big the weight on my shoulders and heart is right now.
Too big.
I am not doing well.
There has been a lot going on.
Thing after thing after you-know-maybe-five-percent-of-it-thing. To the point that I’m beyond able to keep my head above water. Full of hurt I don’t think I’ll ever forgive or forget.
For the first time since I started blogging this place is not the place for me to work things out.
And that feels horrible.
This place has saved me. It has ALWAYS been the one place and thing I had to turn to when I had no one else and nowhere else to turn and right now I can’t.
And for someone like me that is just…awful.
And since I can’t use this space to work out, I can’t bear to see this place turn into a place that hosts youtube videos and vague posts that are written out of a desire to try to feel better but also to spare everyone details. Those posts are maddening to everyone and just suck, if I’m frank. This place deserves better, you know? If I can’t write how I need to write, I’d rather not write at all.
Putting down the online pen is hard. (There is always that fear that it won’t be picked up again, you know?)
Right now, I need a shift of focus and to pour any positive energy I have into different things.
I don’t know how long it will take but I know in my heart that it’s gonna take more than a week or two.
I have considered this carefully. (I even slept on it, people.)
I know that the world will continue to tick by.
I have no expectation that anyone will ‘wait’ for me.
I’m not different.
Or special.
At all.
I will lose the money my ad revenue gives me. I realize that if I can’t get it together and go too long I could lose everything I’ve worked so hard for the last 6 years. People could go away and not come back. I could lose all my traffic.
Right now, I just don’t care about that. If all the ‘perks’ that go with being a blogger goes away because I take some time to refocus, so be it. Sometimes I think too many of us need to step away to regroup sometimes, but the fear of ‘losing it all’ stops us.
But right now, that is what I need to do.
The one thing that sucks in this is not having you all. I do care about YOU. I’ve always cared about my friends online and my readers.
You’re so much to me.
And man, I’ll miss that.
For now, I am just going to step away from my personal accounts and write and focus on my day job and the many wonderful things that are going on with it. And I love that job. It is a delightful pond to swim in and it will do me good. I will focus on family. On my sweet wee ones. On the relationships I have left. On my house. My garden. My music. My bed.
I’ll do whatever it is that ends up righting and bringing happiness to my world.
And when that happens, I’ll be back.
So?
Go be happy.
P.S. I love ya.
P.P.S. A lot.
P.P.P.S. And I am totally leaving you with a sappy youtube video.
P.P.P.P.S. You know, because I can.
P.P.P.P.P.S. xo
Your pain almost physically hurts me. But as always, that strong, loving spirit comes out and wants to spread love to everything she touches.
You are a wonder, Loralee. Do you know that?
You have been through more than anyone I’ve ever known personally. And yet you are always funny and compassionate and kind to everyone. You took three hours out of your day to help me, a virtual stranger and non-existant internet person and I will never forget that.
I hate that someone has hurt you after everything you’ve already lost and been through
I am always amazed that anyone in the world would have the heart to do it.
I love you.
Oh, no. So so sorry/
xoxoxo
I have mucho respect for you woman! I am hoping life for you gets significantly better. I know no matter how long the break is…I will be waiting.
This is one of those posts that I read on someone’s blog and think holy shit this is horrific because I just tried to let go on my blog and FAILED. I know the pain. It’s gut wrenching.
BUT I am so damn glad for me that I know your phone number and your address and I can still find you and have you in my life. THANK GOD!!!
I am a plane ride away. YOU KNOW THAT!!!
You’ll be missed and I’ll definitely be here when you return. I hope everything you’re dealing with resolves in positive change/growth.
I’m sorry for whatever is going on – I hope you can find peace or resolution or something that makes it better. I’ve got you in my reader, so I’m not going anywhere. And you know where I am if you ever need me!
I understand completely: thus the “formerly 4″. But I can tell you this, once I stopped writing here and started talking ‘there’ life got a great deal better with those that truly counted. That’s not to say you don’t love and care for the readers, but it is the folks right beside you and right with you that you need to make sure are alright. Moreover, you need to make sure you are alright.
So take the time you need. Give the thought you need. Do the work you need and know that you have this heart forever. I wish you well.
Much love,
4
You’ll be missed in this place.
But… no matter the time it takes… when you come back you’ll pop right up in our readers. We’ll be back here when you are!
You have my e-mail address.
I’ll miss you. I hope you feel better soon. Best of luck and lots of love.
All my love to you. Do what you must. Don’t worry about us readers. We’ll be here when you feel ready to come back.
Take a week, a month or a year. You will still be in my reader. I will wait for you.
Huge hugs lady. I hope everything is okay.
I can’t bear to see this place turn into a place that hosts youtube videos and vague posts that are written out of a desire to try to feel better but also to spare everyone details.
Having done this exact thing for the past 21 months, I can tell you that it SUCKS. It would have been better had I just walked away for that time period but self-control is not always my strong point and I needed somewhere to be able to process…even vaguely.
I’m praying for you. Have been. Will be. Even if you never come back.
Like many others here, you have my email address – drop a note if you ever need to vent. I don’t mind lending an ear/shoulder/etc.
Sometimes heavy burdens must be set down, so the body can regain equilibrium. Do what must be done to stay afloat. Hugs and blessings…Mary
Dude, as long as you keep the same RSS feed, I’ll be waiting for as long as you need. Take care of you and yours.
Kudos to you (figurative and literal ones because literal ones are yummy) for having the balls to do what you feel (and know) you need to do. It will save your sanity even if you feel like this is where you found your sanity. “This” doesn’t matter, but your family, your home, doing what you love does. I say go for it. And in the meantime I will still be here, cheering for you. Sending lots of good vibes your way (and a Diet Coke whenever you need one).
You take care, Loralee. Honor yourself and your own wisdom, be gentle with yourself, and I hope that all works out for you as it should.
MU-WAH! I love you much and am happy you are taking time for you and your family. Although, I’ll miss you LOTS…you will always be listed in my favorites and I will check back every so often for that joyous day when (or if) you return! In the meantime…hope to see you on facebook now an then! Find peace, sister…you deserve it! *HUGS*
Darn…but we will still be here…I hope that you find the peace that you are looking for!
I just found your blog today (oh the irony), but wanted you to know that I wish you the best of luck and just know that you will be back.
I’m not taking you out of my reader. I enjoy your truth too much. When you are back and ready to talk, I’m ready to listen. Hang in there.
Sometimes you’ve just got to look after number one; I hope you find the peace that you are seeking.
I remember the day I found your blog; I thought I was the only person to feel a certain way on a particular subject, and then I found your thoughts on that subject, which not only matched mine but also told them with a frank and irreverent yet tactful, warm and humorous style which is so fully yours. Like many others, I’ll be here when/if you decide to return :)
Do what you need to do. I will be right here waiting when you get back. Peace, love , Hugs and prayers…
If I can stop crying **sob**
I will wait :)
And in the meantime I will pray for you and your family – that things calm down, that you get through everything that you’ve got going on, and that you come out the other end happy, satisfied and with a sense of stength and achievement.
You never know. In the time that it takes you to come back here, I might get the mojo to write something on my own blog :)
I’ll be right here waiting for you.
{big squeezie hug}
Vx
(sad panda)
(llama eyes)
I hope you’re ok or at least that you will be.
Sending much love, strength and laughter your way. xoxoxoxo
I’ll wait :)
When in doubt, sing! Keep that creative outlet open if you can.
Lovexxx
I will miss checking in with you every day. Do what you need to do, and I will keep you bookmarked just in case you miss us:) Love, prayers and hugs to you and your family.
Hey! You can just hang out at Lex’s place and make snarky comments.
Roger That. When you’re ready to come back, we’ll be waiting for you at Lex’s place.
I second Joe.
We will miss you and await your return. See you at Capt’n Lex’s.
*huggles* (That’s a hug and cuddle, ;D )
See you when you are ready. I’ll keep checkin’ in and I don’t mind waiting while you work through what you need to work through. Those who leave and can’t understand your need for space and time….well, it’s a loss for them. It’s an online “friendship” we have and “friendship” is not demanding, it’s understanding and supportive. Take your time, “friend.”
Thanks for bringing a little bit of sunshine into an overcast world. Hope things work out for you and yours.
Hope to see ya at the Good Captain’s Place.
Wishing you basically whatever it is that you need from your blog-free time! It will be pretty quiet in blogland …
You go do what you need to do. I don’t know how you have managed to do what you do for as long as you do. You’re in my favourites, so everyday when I open them all I’ll see you and pray for you and yours until you return.
Thinking of you. I am very sorry for all you are dealing with right now. We will wait no matter how long it takes. Take care of yourself!
I started reading this blog last summer, and I have loved the way you express anything and everything so beautifully. I’ll miss checking in and seeing what you have to say. Or just seeing what you have to say- I’ll still check. :)
I’ll be waiting.
I’ll miss you, too. <3 Feel better.
big, big hugs are waiting for you here, whenever you are ready to return. take good care, okay?
Ohhh, gonna miss you Loralee. I’ve cried and laughed with your tales many a day, and you have given me comfort when I thought there was none to be had. Totally get & respect your need to focus elsewhere than here–you are only 1 person, there are only 24 hours in each day–and I WILL check back in every so often (I know I will because I still do for my “first love” in the blogosphere “Like Merchant Ships.”) Wishes for health-hope-healing for you & yours.
Sending my wishes for clarification, healing, health, etc to you. You’re very brave to step away and take the break you need. I hope that it heals your soul. Until then, we’ll miss you.
Take as long as you need, we’ll be back, but I think you need this outlet more than you need to be away from it. Lex was gone from his for like a day and a half before he jumped right back into it. Hope it all works out for you.
Sorry to hear that – I’ll miss you. Take care!!
Just read your post in my inbox, you and TPW are the only one I get delivered straight into my inbox. I get it. I have contemplated doing this myself, I think we all do but only some of us actually ACT on it. I’m glad you are. Things need to be right with you and I know you only want to write from a place of love and light not darkness. Things will move quickly this year, roll with the punches, you can do this.
You will be missed. Your posts are examples of what’s valuable on the Internet. Your readers appreciate and will support you. During your time away, please remember to call upon us should the need arise. We’ve got your back!
You are different and special and I will patiently wait for you to return. Good luck working things out. I will continue to keep you in my prayers. Take care.
Dear sweet Loralee, you will be missed, but I know I will be here when you return. Do what you need to do in your life to get things where they need to be, I am sure that we all understand.
xo