Hi.
It’s me.
Loralee.
You remember me, don’t you?
I’m that dorky redhead with OK eyes, a prominent nose, and killer ‘reclaimed bosoms’ that occasionally likes to don ninja masks and dork around online in this space?
Yeah, her.
I’ve been sitting here staring at this blank screen and blinking cursor for the good part of three hours.
But nothing comes.
Nothing.
The good news is that my mom was recovered enough to go home this week.
The bad news is that I feel like…like…
MEH.
(You know that ‘Houston’s got a problem’ when you wake up in the morning and your only overwhelming desire in life is for it to be night time so you can go to bed again.)
It’s not wretched or horrible. No one has to talk me down off the ledge or anything. I’m just in a cycle and in burnout mode in most areas of my life.
The fact that I’m feeling human enough to come here and write something about feelings is a very positive thing. (SING WITH ME! FEEELINGS…WOAH, WOAH, WOAH…FEEEEEEEELINGS…) (You all have that song stuck in your head now, don’t you?) (YOU’RE SOOOOOO WELCOME!!!!!!!!)
At least I haven’t lost my sense of humor. ;)
Anyway.
I feel really tired of some things.
I tend to be of the “THAT’S GREAT!” mind set.
I tend to think that people, places and things are automatically good and likeable and supportive and good for me.
And really…I don’t think that is the case if I REALLY sit down and examine them.
Something’s gotta change.
I think it’s time for me to really sit down and evaluate the things that are worth keeping in my life and the things that are not. I expound an enormous amount of energy and emotion and I am not sure that a lot of it is going to the wisest places. I think that it is more than high time to brutally think about the things I deserve and want out of my life and cut out the things that are giving me sucktastic Return On Investment.
Some things just aren’t worth it, you know?
I am so feeling “meh” right now too. i’m so sick of fighting with white republican christians on facebook today…. oh my goodness I could literally strangle them!!!!!! arrghghghgghgh!
Yes. I actually do. :)
Good luck friend.
I’m there in the midst of the meh muck right now. I know the high will be coming again and so I’m wallowing for now. True how much reflection we can do when in the lows… I am looking forward to making a lot of changes, too.
Cheers to us!
Steph
*hugs* You’ve got to do what you’ve got to do.
HUGS! I swear February gives everyone the “MEH’s” Hope you feel better soon ?
(wanna say that that ? was actually a <3 when i typed it. HUGS!!)
Indeed. We all have times of MEH and of needing time off from things in our lives, especially those that don’t deserve us. You’ll get through it. And maybe writing that stuff that’s not fit for public consumption somewhere else would be cathartic.
I’m glad your mom is well enough to be home; is it possible some of this meh feeling comes from not being needed anymore? Either way, hang in there friend. xo
I have tried that before…I’ve found that all that really happens is that I get really pissed off that I can’t publish what I’ve written because of social restraint. So, it’s kind of counter productive. Sigh.
I’m having one of those days for my own sucky reasons. A fertility procedure first thing in the morning on a Friday is no way to start a weekend – it does not bode well for a worrier like me. I keep trying to stop myself from crying and it’s not working!
I know that you’ll be able to reach the right conclusions at the end of your reassessment and reallocate your wonderfulness to those people and places that truly deserve it and reverse that return on investment!!!
I’m sorry you’re going through a “meh” time right now. I hope it gets better soon.
I read the first part wrong and thought your reclaimed bosoms liked to don ninja masks…thought maybe that was the kind of thing you’ve been making in your crafty office.
I’ve been in Meh Land for about a week…blame it on the weather, blame it on my time of the month, blame it on having my husband home for the last three months, whatever. It’s hard crawling out of it and we all have to do it in our own way. Here’s hoping we both find a good one. Feel happier soon. :)
Feeling kind of Meh, too. I’m with you, sister.
At least its Friday, it could be Monday feeling this way and that would be really sucky!
The first time I read this I thought it was your “killer ‘reclaimed bosoms’” that liked to wear ninja masks. And while that didn’t make sense, it did make me laugh. Hope you feel better soon! Which you always seem to. You’re tough ‘n’ shit, ya know? :)
I go through this about once a year. My essentially problem, I’ve discovered, is that I’m a melancholic person. I get a perverse thrill out of listening to music that makes me want to cry, hovering over memories of times long gone (and never to return), thinking about people that have drifted out of my life. After a while, it kind of becomes overwhelming and I have to snap out of it. So I do – I busy myself with other things, or try something new, but I always end up returning to the same state. I’ve realized that everything is always going to be bittersweet for me – I really can’t live in the moment because my “moment” is always sometime in the past. Sigh…
Dude, you are so fucking AWESOME. Either write ir don’t. And to go in twitter about someone said you might need antidepressants WHEN YOU DONT?…fucking AWESOME. And your eyes ARE SO FABULOUSLY interesting. However, you did get the LOVEABLE dork with the GORGEOUS fucking nose right. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE.
Why, thank you so much! You are pretty much the best commenter, EVER, Sarah! Can’t wait to hear from you again! Have a super day! :)
Man, Sarah is one awesomely nice chick.
Oh friend, I needed this laugh today. Thank you.
Wait, wait, wait….Your bosoms wear ninja masks?????
Does that have anything to do with that 20.8%?
(I gotta stop fixating on that)
((well…Maybe not…kinda normal for a guy))
I think it’s good for everyone to sit down once in a while and figure out what should be and what shouldn’t be in their life.
Sending you ((hugs)).
xoxo
Remember ROI on Twitter is amazing
I’ve been having a few of those days too. Think it’s because the deathaverasry is coming. But then I think about New Orleans and going to the beach and the mehs go away for awhile. : )
Those anniversaries are awful. I am so sorry. xo
I cannot WAIT to see you in New Orleans!
I think the meh’s are going around because I have a serious case of them as well.
Hugs, friend. xoxo
Whoa, so the Meh’s have pretty much hit EVERYONE!! I’m there as well. I haven’t written anything for myself on my blog in a while just because it’s taking me a week to finish one. I can’t clean my house. My kids are living in onsies and diapers. Supposed to be potty training, but I can’t bear that much laundry and bringing out the carpet cleaner that many times in a day. I can’t clean my house. I pretty much want to drink every night and instead take an ambien. My PMS is pretty much the worst thing ever and we’ll see how long it takes to get over this bout. Oh, I do have a psychiatric visit coming up, maybe he’ll give me the magic purple pill this time. :) No seriously, I hope he has a better insight on this girl thing than I do. I sure hope your blah’s go away. I sure hope that things start to settle down and stop draining you. It’s exhausting. ((HUG))
It’s February. There’s something sinister about February, especially in Utah. And I hate sucktastic ROIs. I think I have a couple myself. It’s time to purge that portfolio!
Haven’t seen those photos of the bosoms in ninja masks. Might be interesting.
Oh Chicky, the Meh’s are out in force & trying to take over. I do think February is part to blame. Need to see the sun, baby! But actually surprisingly enough (for Germany anyway,) we have had the sun & I am still out of it. Sheesh. Praying for your Meh’s to go away. BTW, if you need can email me for some awesome chocolaty goodness from Deutschland to help bribe the Meh’s away…
The mehs are even trying to sneak into middle-of-nowhere Saskatchewan, too. And it’s too damn cold for them to be here, really. Sorry your mehs are there, and I hope you banish them soon. As for the catastrophic ROIs, we all need to take some time to realign ourselves, every now and then. Hugs to you, and I hope you feel perkier soon. :)
Glad your mum is well enough to go home. You did a good job. Butterlump will miss her though, I think.
Glad you’re going to spend time sorting out the important from the urgent. It’s important to do this (I have to continually), because the urgent has such a loud voice, and the important just sits quietly off to the side hoping to be noticed. And once, you’ve done this, the Meh’s should go. Though there may be grieving for some of the things you’ve had to let go. Take care.
Aaaaaannnndddddd….we have reason #1 I quit twitter. No, not you, silly. The “return of investment” thing. I reclaimed my life. It was lovely.
To Ear is Human, to Err is Divine ( for Butterlump) & to Meh is just another feeling. Feelings aren’t us. We aren’t our feelings. They come, they go & sometimes there is no rhyme or reason to any of it. If you want to sit there, struggling to find the Root cause, you can do that. personally, I find it far more effective to go take a walk, listen to the wind in the trees, the birds chirping & decide that, if the rest of the world is going about it’s business & finding Joy in unexpected places, so can I!
Now you can take my advice or not ( I’m not using it) but I’d go lure Butterlump into a Tickle fight, Hubs into a combination Cuddle/pillow fight and yourself into another, better feeling.
Also, those Ninjas must be Good! I’ve never seen them
Yup it’s Meh over here too! March 3rd is “doomsday” and I can’t wait to get that part of things over with. Then I will get my “glow” on again: literally and figuratively. Oh goody! :(
Googled ‘reclaimed bosoms’ to figure out what you’re trying to say, and Google had you first on the list of hits! Seriously! There it was in print “reclaimed bosoms”!
Didn’t get me any closer to answering my dumb male question, but you’re on Google now. Mebbe ya oughta market ‘em. I don’t know. Just sayin’.
What is it about this particular February that sucks so bad? Is it cause Egypt went sideways, and now Gaddafi is out killing his own people in Libya? It can’t be the weather, cause here it’s actually pretty darn nice. A little snow, but who cares about that? Sun’s out, house is warm inside, and I just ate a baked potato with garlic powder, seasoning salt, parsley, and sour cream…which did something nice for me.
Mebbe nekkid in a hot tub for a cuppla hours with a mug of mulled wine will fix it. No one else allowed, unless you wanna invite the room mate. All others banned to outer darkness (TV room).
That’s all I know for now…and it’s Friday. At least I think it is. Please tell me I’m right. Please!
LOL!
In 5 words: I had breast augmentation surgery.
Lots of things deflate and get smaller when you lose 150 lbs. ;)
Meh even happens down here in Florida, though i have to say not as much as it did when I lived in Michigan.
Sounds like you have some contemplating to do. What better season to do it in?
Yay! You mean, I’m not alone with the whole “MEH” thing??? I truly think it’s that time of year. MEH indeed. Hugs to you, lady!
I’ve been going through that too, but then some really amazing things have been happening that are going to be HUGE changes around here.
So now I’m excited and freaked out.
Do what you need to do, Loralee. Some things just aren’t worth the stress.
I really related to reassessing where all the energy is going. I finally realized (admitted?) that I have a finite amount and I cannot keep spreading myself so thin and watching the people and things I love suffer my moods, exhaustion, and stress levels. But to know WHAT to say good-bye to? That is the hardest. I am thinking and praying and writing and reading and hoping that my answers come soon. I hope yours do too.
So, divorce.
I am going to go listen to the rain.