I know this is two posts in one day, but when you need to talk to the internet, you need to talk to the internet.
You’re my support system and you have helped me a lot over the years.
My mom is in surgery right now.
It’s major surgery.
It’s on her back. (I know, it’s not as worrisome as other surgeries but back surgeries are so complex and have a really bad outcome rate. And she is in her mid-70′s and well…it is risky doing anything at that age.)
And afterwards her recovery is going to be long and hard and we have no idea what the outcome will be.
Worst part?
This was sudden, unplanned surgery.
I have had a speaking engagement at a blogging conference scheduled for a long time.
I feel so flipping TORN right now.
Part of me wants to cancel my trip today but my mom didn’t want that.
So, I am going.
I am SO unprepared.
This.day.has.blown.
After a rousing 2 hours of sleep I have two bags with things just thrown and shoved and for all I know I may be speaking in my pajamas.
AND the other day when I was pulled over for something stupid, the cop did not give me back my license so guess who gets to spend the day at the DMV.
AND AND the stress has made my husband and I snippy. I’ve annoyed friends and have been generally unpleasant to the masses.
AND AND AND I get to have lunch with my estranged twin sister that hasn’t spoken to me in, oh, 5 years or so.
FUN PARTY! YAY!
I can’t do much right today. I am pretty sure it was penned by Satan in the blood of sacrificial virgins and yaks.
But so far I am getting everything done.
But it sucks and is hard.
It’s hard going to work when my mom is sick.
She has always been there for me and when she needs me, where am I?
On a stupid plane.
I just want her to be ok.
Anyway.
Thanks for listening.
I really needed an ear today and I think the Internet is the only one I’m gonna get.
xo
Hang in there. I’m thinking of your mom. If she’s like her daughter, she’s going to kick some major ass.
Loralee, as you cant be there now is it possible that you could fly out right after your engagement??? She knows you thinking of her right now….. and that you love her. I be saying prayers.
If she’s anything like me, she’ll be so doped up on pain pills for the next few days she won’t even notice your absence. By the time you get home again she’ll need you. So go.
Praying for your family right now.
We’ll all be there for you, hon, and your mother will have support until you return. It’s OKAY.
A virtual ((hug)) for now and a real one tomorrow or the next day…
What Tanis said. She’ll love the help when you get home, and you’ll have refreshed enough on your trip that you’ll be a better helper.
I know it’s tough, though. xoxo
Storming Heaven with prayers for your Momma and your family, Loralee…you’ll be home before you know it. Now go on and SHINE! ;)
I’ll be thinking of your mom today. I hope the surgery goes as smoothly as possible. And, I hope the recovery process isn’t nearly as bad as everyone is expecting. My brother had major back surgery to remove a tumor on his spinal column when he was 16. He was a trooper and it went a lot smoother than everyone expected. Here’s hoping that’s the case with your mom.
And… here’s hoping your trip is a good and safe one.
I will be keeping you and your Mom in my thoughts and prayers. I hope the best for both of you. Please don’t feel guilty as obviously your mom knew how important this speaking engagement is for you. You will be there for her when she really needs you. I am sending good vibes your way!
She would rather have you get on with things rather than sitting next to her doing nothing. Call often, text (does she?) and just let her know you are thinking of her.
My mom had back surgery also not too long ago. She’s in her 60′s and although it wasn’t sudden, it was still pretty serious. And then a week later she had to have a second surgery because they thought she had developed an infection. Thankfully she didn’t; she just needed some more “tweaking”. She’s doing much better and is a lot more mobile now.
Keeping your mom in my thoughts today. *hugs*
And you, of course! ;)
Fingers crossed for her and you.
M
It’s going to be a few days before she really needs you. Go. Do. Be your normal, awesome self. When you come back, regale her with tales of your awesomeness. That, more than anything, will be tonic for her.
I am so sorry – it so hard to be away when you’re worrying about the ones you love. I can’t relate to back surgery but I’m fighting my own fears and insecurities as I have my own surgery for the first time in my life tomorrow and am trying to be positive and go about my normal day which is proving difficult to do. And dealing with estranged family, too – unfortunately something I know more than I care to on that one. Safe and peaceful travels and all love and care to you and your mom in her surgery! Thoughts and prayers to you!
1. Prayers aren’t proximity preferential. There’s a wireless prayer router that works even when you are in other places.
2. Lunch with your Sis is an oppportunity.
3. “We don’t need no stinkin’ licenses.”
4. Twice in one day is a good thing.
5. Being a positive influence on so many people isn’t easy. Suck it up girl.
6. :-) :-) :-)
You will be there when she is recovering when she will need you the most.
Chiming in to say:
1) Tanis is right on with her advice, which is easy to forget because she is so terminally funny.
2) The license fu really blows
3) Have a diet coke.
4) I hope your mom is doing well, and that she has an easy recovery (though that’s a bit of an oxymoron when it comes to back surgery)
5) Please remember to TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF because if you don’t, nobody else will.
6) Have another diet coke, cuz you probably chugged the first one already. Perhaps take the time to taste this one a bit before you inhale it.
7) I love you to pieces.
8) This too shall pass.
9) Since you just chugged TWO consecutive diet cokes, it’s ok to burp now. Oh hey, that was a good one. You’d have fit right in in my fraternity.
10) See #7.
My heart goes out to you, your mom, and your family. Having a big family health crisis when an important planned event is about to happen can be absolutely soul-crushing. When my husband and I got married, I had a brother in the ICU. He was recovering from a skull fracture and brain bleed after being hit by a drunk driver. When he was lucid enough to understand, he emphatically blinked and nodded that he didn’t want us to wait. Months later, he said that he felt relieved that we went for it…he didn’t want the guilt of us messing up all our wedding plans. I’m sure your mom will be happier knowing what you’re doing best, instead of worrying in a hospital waiting room.
Good luck!
Hang in there, Loralee. Everything’s gonna be good.
hugs,
Amy.
Very sorry to read about your Mother Loralee.
Hope that all turns out well.
Your Mother, and you, are thought of out here in the Ether.
Best Regards,
Honey, I know what you’re going through. The same thing happened when my mom was sick a couple of years ago. I had to finish my finals before I could fly home, but I felt so torn and like a horrible daughter for not jumping on a plane and being right by her side through the whole the thing. But the last thing she had said to me before she lost consciousness was that she wanted me to stay in school and finish my finals. So, I did. And then I went home. You can totally be there for your mom through the whole recovery process. She’s going to be fine, and you are going to get through this. I love you and I’m praying for you both.
Thinking of you and your mom. Hope all goes well.
Prayers for you and your family – lots of them!
Back surgery is SOOO much better than it used to be. Miraculously so. My dad had back surgery 2 months ago. He was in incredible pain. My brother carried him into the hospital, and he walked out the next day of his own accord. Amazing. He had shattered a disc and all the pieces were poking into a nerve. they made the repair and he was instantly better.
I am sure your mom is in good hands, and you know that she knows you want to be with her. Go – do what you need to do – and get home safe so you can help when she is ready for help.
Blessings, safe travels!
I’ve read both posts. *hugs* Going to the conference will be a good thing for you, you need to get away for a little bit. As everyone else has said, she will likely be too doped to even keep track of what day it is for the first few. And she would feel guilty if you missed out on this.
And I completely hear you on the lunch with the sister. I’ve just recently prodded my bf into having a dinner with his estranged (lying, cheating, scummy) father. I don’t care if they have a relationship after this, but I sure would like for them to cut through the bullshit. But getting to the point of meeting? That took over a year of gentle encouragement. It’s not easy when there is a rift. You two will sort out what you need to sort for now, and you’ll either both heal and be in touch, or you’ll go your separate ways for a while more.
*hugs more* You and your mom are in my thought, darling :)
Remember she is in a hospital with the best possible care. And she has now been mentioned here which will incite the best possible karma, twinkles and prayers.
Now as for you: if Mama ain’t happy ain’t nobody happy…if daughters aren’t happy they are of no use to helping their mamas. Do what you need to do, she is well cared for and she will be excited (and stoned let’s face it) when you come home to hear of your adventures.
Sending my thoughts your way….
Lurve ewe
I know how you feel. My mom is undergoing brain surgery to find out if the tumor they discovered is benign or malignant. And I have to fly out to attend a conference that has been planned for over a year, which I cannot miss. I know that before surgery she wanted me to go, but I feel horrible.
Please post soon to let us know how your mom is doing. Hoping for the very best.
Isn’t the phrase “on a m…f… plane?”
hehe
sugar, i’m sending out major wishes and hugs and prayers that all of y’all will be a-ok. no matter what the ages of the parent or children, watching someone go through surgery, especially unplanned, is wicked hard. i don’t know how i would cope if i had to go through that all over again. it was hard enough starting at 10, and going through watching my mom go in and out of the hospital and operating room so many times, ending at 18 – a year after her kidney transplant when she was rushed in b/c they thought she was losing the transplant.
do your best not to smack your sister over the lunch table. the wait-staff kinda frown on that. you must wait until you get to the car. that’s when you can stomp her foot, pinch her arm, and give her a good talking to.
wait, ooops, sorry. that was the southern bitchy sister thing to do. i forgot you’re not demented like my family. after that action, my sister would simply chase me down until she could return the favor.
*crossing my fingers and praying really hard*
Oh, no!! Just catching up. Thinking of you, L. XOXO
I’m a little late with this reply, but first of all I hope all is well. There’s nothing scarier than hearing a family member is in need of surgery.
That said, there’s so much a surgeon can do these days to fix a body without causing too much trauma. I love getting permission to scrub in to the OR at my hospital and observe while my patients undergo operations. It’s amazing to watch. But unless you’re in the room, there’s not a whole lot you can do until a couple of days after anyhow. She’s going to need to rest and get the anæsthesia out of her system before she’s really able to take visitors and remember them, as well as letting the post-op pain killers kick in so she’ll want vistors that don’t resemble Columbian drug mules.
Best of luck for the recovery process (high protein diet and walking as much as possible are amazingly helpful.)
Take care!
Hi! I am here to be totally annoying and miss the point of this post and probably forever ingrain myself in your brain as “that” blogger.
:)
I saw your post on facebook on blogher and saw that you had some connection to Bemidji, MN. My family grew up there and many, many, many of them (we have a big family) still reside there. Do you as well?
Again, sorry to be so annoying in your comment section.
Blessings!
Amanda
@manda2177
Yeshh, that’s some super sucky stuff. I hope all goes well with your mom!
Hey, let’s look on the bright side: you have a twin. Sure, okay she’s estranged and that blows, but when you become besties again you can do that pantomime thing where you pretend you’re both looking into a mirror. That has value, right?
Minus the twin sister trubs I am right there with you. My mom was hit with back problems a week and a half ago. She is my righthand when it comes to taking care of my 4 little ones still in school. I was so totally unprepared to spend the last week or so in the er/dr’s office with her and try and pull off all my work arrangements and other responsibilities. At one point in the ER I totally used one of your phrases I read here and it made me giggle. It totally ‘sucka sucka sucked!’
We will make it through this right? These strong awesome women have taught us everything and our successes are theirs so we must go go GO !! Hope all is well
Kjo
Feel better! Good luck speaking, take tons of pictures because you know your mom will want to see them as soon as she’s awake. Hugs!
In your session right now and you three are rocking it. Good thoughts for your mom. Hope it all goes smoothly.