Change is as inevitable as the turning of the tide.

Humans were not meant to stay in one place.

But…

I am not a huge fan of change.

I know, that is shocking, isn’t it? You would think with my personality that I would LOVE change. And I do, to a point. I love, crave and need smaller changes. Like, I’m a redhead again.

(Apologies for not having “after” photos. I need to replace my camera charger since James used it to tie Christopher to a chair in an attempt to get him on film saying that he wanted to marry a turtle.) (I know, ok?) (My children are weird.) (I blame myself.)

While small changes are essential, I have a very difficult time with huge change.

Very.

This year has been one of incredible change for me.

Sometimes I look around and I don’t recognize my life anymore.

This is not a bad thing.

Sort of.

It can be a bit painful.

Especially when changes involve people.

This has been a pretty hanious week.

In a lot of ways, it is awesome. I am so busy in a job I ADORE and a life that I increasingly love. I am performing with some incredible groups of musicians, singing with orchestras and flouncing around in a hoopskirt caroling Dickens-style.  I’m getting ready for a news segment on Monday (Channel 2 at Noon for my Utah peeps…I’ll be making Brie en Croute) and then I leave for New York for the launch of Where Women Cook on Tuesday.

I am busy, busy, BUSY.

I didn’t really have time to be hit upside the head with some of the things I’ve been hit upside the head with. I am like a lightening rod, sometimes. It can be great because, well…some pretty magical, amazing, and “OMG, ONLY LORALEE!” things happen to me.  (Awesome!)

BUT…

It also means that that I tend to have a lot of things that are the POLAR OPPOSITE of magical and amazing (but still, “OMG, ONLY LORALEE!”) happen as well.

Usually all at once. (SO not awesome!)

Most of the things are minor and can be dealt with given time and patience. Not even worth mentioning, really. But a couple of them are real doozys, people. Which are TOTALLY worth mentioning but as always, a blogger is tasked with the delicate balance of writing what they need to for themselves and therapy without causing harm.

Which can be a bitch to pull off.

(This gig can suck sometimes.)

I’ve taken a very long-term security blanket and put it away, and locked it up for good.  And as things are wont to be with security blankets (especially the long-loved, well-worn kind), parting from them can be uncomfortable at best, painful at worst.

Mine was all of the above.

A friendship ended.

A very long-term-important-to-me friendship.

(And as if that wasn’t super enough, another very long-term-important-to-me friendship altered so radically on me that it’s making me go, “WTF??!” and is on life-support. (But that is a story for another day.) (AND my Internet-who-actually-lives-in-the-same-town-as-me BFF is moving away in 3 weeks.) (This REALLY has not been my month for relationships, people.) (If there was a 4-square for them, I would be the mayor of bad timing.) (Sigh.)

This was one of those friendships you pretty much think you’ll have until one of you is getting buried.

In some ways it is unthinkable to me.

But…

It wasn’t nearly as bad as I had always pictured an end to be. It’s been a long time coming. I sat there, looking and analyzing and dealing with some pretty mind blowing horrible information I was unaware of over the years and it hit me that I wasn’t, and wouldn’t be, destroyed by it.

I would be fine.

I will always love and care but honestly, I let them go a long time ago, I just didn’t know it.

I am not even sure when or how it happened, but happen it did.

To a molecular, absolute level.

And however much I fight and argue and bicker against it, once I *really* let go,  it is FINAL.

Period, the end.

I can’t stay in a situation when I am truly done with it.

This has been such a long time coming that I cannot quite believe that I am actually seeing the day.

I do not want this anymore.

I cannot go back.

I don’t want to go back.

I’m done.

I changed.

(Comments off for this one, y’all.) xo

This is sponsored content from
BlogHer and LG Text Ed

I had to go work at the office today, and I met some dear friends for lunch.

I looked at Annie’s little ones and remembered when my eldest boys were little.

It seems forever ago.

I envied the things that she doesn’t have to worry about (yet).

Like buying ‘protective’ gear for boy bits for wrestling.

And stinky teen boy odor that NEVER SEEMS TO LEAVE THEIR ROOM NO MATTER WHAT I DO.

And what her kids do online.

I love my boys.

I don’t really write about Christopher and James much on the Internet. I used to write about them often, but well…they’ve gotten older, and I personally feel that they have much bigger boundaries around them.

Butterlump is different. He’s widdle.  He’s too little to be accountable for anything he does. And it’s not like the other 18-month-olds are going to get all in his bidness and make his life hell for what is written about him on his mom’s blog, you know? (And besides, he is so fat and smooshy and wuvable that I think it would be a mortal sin to NOT share his awesome baby-ness with teh Interwebs).

I love James and Christopher just as much and am just as proud of them, but they are 14 and 11. And their moments are more and more theirs.

Not mine to share.

But sometimes, I DO write about them.

Like today.

And I am about to do something I’ve never done before–I’m going to interview them and post it online.

Because I feel the topic is very important.

It’s about online safety and teaching and educating our kids about it. It’s a big thing and absolutely needs to be discussed with parents and kids. It’s the ‘sex talk” of today, if you will.

I’m a bit nervous about it.

I am a big mama bear and HAWK when it comes to my kids and the Internet. Few children are as restricted as mine are online. Have you ever heard actors and musicians interviewed who want their kids to absolutely NOT follow in their footsteps?

I sort of feel that way about my boys the Internet.

TOTALLY hypocritical since I LIVE ON IT, I know.

It’s just…it is so big.

I’ve seen the really hideous side of it.

I know how the things you thoughtlessly post can utterly come back to HAUNT you.

I LOVE the Internet, it does some amazing, wonderful, awesome things. I want my kids to use it, love it, benefit from it, but I am scared of the dark side of it with them.

It’s kind of like Sandra Bullock’s line in “The Blindside”– “Michael, I want you to have a good time but if you get a girl pregnant out of wedlock, I will crawl into the car, drive up to Oxford and cut off your penis.”. (I seriously giggle at that line waaaaaaay too much!)

I don’t want them hurt.

I’ve been doing some brand work with BlogHer and LG with their “Text-Ed” program the last few months and it’s been a really rewarding experience. Despite my apprehensions, I feel that it is SO critical that kids and their parents be educated on the use of technology in their lives and the impact and ramifications that it can have on everyone.

I”m hoping it helps me both chill out a bit and also communicate with my kids a little better.

I need to talk WITH them about it and explain things instead of just going, “BECAUSE I SAID SO”.

And I would really appreciate your help with what I’m going to ask them.

While I obviously have final say as to what will get discussed as the parent, I am looking for some of your opinions, questions, concerns and what YOU think is important and valuable for kids to know and think about regarding online safety.

Because this topic is so important for our kids and their futures AND because BlogHer really wants to get the conversation about texting, sexting and safety going – both with our kids and among parents, they are matching LG’s donation of .50 to dosomething.org for every comment on this post, (which means $1 donation a comment to an organization that exists solely to help teens get involved in giving back. It’s “a community where young people learn, listen, speak, vote, volunteer, ask, and take action to make the world a better place. Currently, only 23% of this generation actively volunteers. Our hope is to create a do something generation: a world where more than 51% of young people are involved with community action.” )

So, will you help me?

Comment, discuss, list questions…let’s do some good here, people!

The interview will be up on Dec. 15th

Thank you in advance!

(I have the best readers EVER.)