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BlogHer and LG Text Ed
I had to go work at the office today, and I met some dear friends for lunch.
I looked at Annie’s little ones and remembered when my eldest boys were little.
It seems forever ago.
I envied the things that she doesn’t have to worry about (yet).
Like buying ‘protective’ gear for boy bits for wrestling.
And stinky teen boy odor that NEVER SEEMS TO LEAVE THEIR ROOM NO MATTER WHAT I DO.
And what her kids do online.
I love my boys.
I don’t really write about Christopher and James much on the Internet. I used to write about them often, but well…they’ve gotten older, and I personally feel that they have much bigger boundaries around them.
Butterlump is different. He’s widdle. He’s too little to be accountable for anything he does. And it’s not like the other 18-month-olds are going to get all in his bidness and make his life hell for what is written about him on his mom’s blog, you know? (And besides, he is so fat and smooshy and wuvable that I think it would be a mortal sin to NOT share his awesome baby-ness with teh Interwebs).
I love James and Christopher just as much and am just as proud of them, but they are 14 and 11. And their moments are more and more theirs.
Not mine to share.
But sometimes, I DO write about them.
Like today.
And I am about to do something I’ve never done before–I’m going to interview them and post it online.
Because I feel the topic is very important.
It’s about online safety and teaching and educating our kids about it. It’s a big thing and absolutely needs to be discussed with parents and kids. It’s the ‘sex talk” of today, if you will.
I’m a bit nervous about it.
I am a big mama bear and HAWK when it comes to my kids and the Internet. Few children are as restricted as mine are online. Have you ever heard actors and musicians interviewed who want their kids to absolutely NOT follow in their footsteps?
I sort of feel that way about my boys the Internet.
TOTALLY hypocritical since I LIVE ON IT, I know.
It’s just…it is so big.
I’ve seen the really hideous side of it.
I know how the things you thoughtlessly post can utterly come back to HAUNT you.
I LOVE the Internet, it does some amazing, wonderful, awesome things. I want my kids to use it, love it, benefit from it, but I am scared of the dark side of it with them.
It’s kind of like Sandra Bullock’s line in “The Blindside”– “Michael, I want you to have a good time but if you get a girl pregnant out of wedlock, I will crawl into the car, drive up to Oxford and cut off your penis.”. (I seriously giggle at that line waaaaaaay too much!)
I don’t want them hurt.
I’ve been doing some brand work with BlogHer and LG with their “Text-Ed” program the last few months and it’s been a really rewarding experience. Despite my apprehensions, I feel that it is SO critical that kids and their parents be educated on the use of technology in their lives and the impact and ramifications that it can have on everyone.
I”m hoping it helps me both chill out a bit and also communicate with my kids a little better.
I need to talk WITH them about it and explain things instead of just going, “BECAUSE I SAID SO”.
And I would really appreciate your help with what I’m going to ask them.
While I obviously have final say as to what will get discussed as the parent, I am looking for some of your opinions, questions, concerns and what YOU think is important and valuable for kids to know and think about regarding online safety.
Because this topic is so important for our kids and their futures AND because BlogHer really wants to get the conversation about texting, sexting and safety going – both with our kids and among parents, they are matching LG’s donation of .50 to dosomething.org for every comment on this post, (which means $1 donation a comment to an organization that exists solely to help teens get involved in giving back. It’s “a community where young people learn, listen, speak, vote, volunteer, ask, and take action to make the world a better place. Currently, only 23% of this generation actively volunteers. Our hope is to create a do something generation: a world where more than 51% of young people are involved with community action.” )
So, will you help me?
Comment, discuss, list questions…let’s do some good here, people!
The interview will be up on Dec. 15th
Thank you in advance!
(I have the best readers EVER.)
Wow- this is a biggie. I have daughters who have recently stopped being teenagers, but that was a tough hurdle with the phones, iPods, laptops, everything at their fingertips. My stepdaughter’s mother provided her with a phone at a very young age, no restrictions, and then added internet access and bought her some smart phone. VERY frustrating, as the bio mom has VASTLY differing values. We would never have let her have a phone that young.
Anyway – what I wish I could ask her, and have demanded of my daughter, whose phone we provide for her safety:
1. KNOW, personally, everyone you talk to, text with.
2. Don’t give out your number to everyone, esp. those who might have some ill intentions, bad feelings. No need to invite torment.
3. NEVER send pics – we actually had almost all phone functionality blocked for our daughter – she can call and text, that’s it. There used to be a limit on the time and number of texts, but she’s in college, has a good head on her shoulders, etc.
4.Purchased wireless router with Network magic – you can set the security settings /parental blocks for EACH device that is on your network. That way you can use your computer for anything you need, but block whatever level you like for all your children’s devices.
James’ father got him a cell phone younger than I would have liked, but honestly, it was necessary as he started taking the bus and traveling to and fro on his own a lot more.
We have had cell phone discussions but I am shamed to say that my online dialog has mainly been “JUST NO!”
I have GOT to work on that one. ;)
My worry about not giving numbers out to those with ill intent/bad feeling is that teenagers are emotional firepits. Besties one day mortal enemies the next…a LOT of damage can be wrecked in a moment of hormonal-hotheaded-immaturity, you know? Gah.
It’s true, I don’t REALLY have to worry about them yet. At least not the things they do. I still worry myself sick sometimes about things that might happen to them, but that’s another issue. I love that my little guy refused to look at the camera is pretty much every shot. And I loved seeing you today and meeting Jo. Let’s not wait so long next time. :D Also, you’re getting good with the frames and other fun digi-scrap stuff! Look at you go!
I think both texting and using the internet are things that need to be seriously discussed with kids so they know what is expected and what is acceptable. I think the things Megan shared (above) are great. Making sure they know who they friend on FB or give their number to. Not putting their personal contact info online unless it’s secure. I think if kids are on FB the parents have a responsibility to be on FB as well and be “friends” with their kids so they can sort of remotely monitor what their kids are doing. I know that may seem a little extreme and overprotective and invasive of their privacy and everything but I’d rather be a little nosy and know about my kid’s interactions than be oblivious to the serious trouble s/he may or may not be part of. Also, it’s not like reading their journal or snooping in their room. They would know I can see the things they’re writing which, in turn may also help them remember to keep the things they post in check.
Obviously I don’t have kids that age yet and may have an entirely new set of challenges to deal with when they are but I think parental involvement to a degree in kids lives is a good thing. They’re still kids, after all, and as a parent it is still our responsibility to guide and help them become upstanding, respectable people.
Oh, jeesh, there is a TON to worry about when they are small. You BLINK and they are in mortal peril!!! ;)
I LOVED seeing you and your awesome mama today. It was so much fun. Jo thinks you are utterly creative which is a huge compliment. ;)
I know parental involvement is key and being oblivious has never been the way I roll, but man, the temptation to bury your head in the sand is pretty strong sometimes.
:)
*blush* Thank you for telling me that! It totally made my day! Jo was wonderful! I’m so happy I had to privilege of meeting her!
Yeah, sometimes I want to bury my head in the sand, too, but I know it will only make things worse if I do.
Re: Being a little nosy – I am unapologetic when it comes to this stuff. I WILL check your pockets, poke through a room, a car, a phone, a computer, etc. of anyone to whom I have been entrusted with their care. Period. Our kids are not exactly told this, other than to expect to not be able to get away with ANYTHING. We have two in college, lovely girls, so far, so good. SEVEN more coming down the line, though, and statistics scare the crap out of me, so when we talk to our our kids, our expectations of them are crystal. They know what will be tolerated and what won’t be. I will never feel complacent about any of this stuff – gotta watch out for these kiddos at every turn!
Hi Loralee! I’m a long time reader, but this is my first time commenting and what better subject, right? I work as a high school counselor and I’ve gained a lot of experience in the realm of internet communication through my job. One of the things I’ve learned is that teenagers generally don’t think about the implications of the decisions they make and sometimes they have a hard time accepting the consequences of those decisions–especially when it comes to online activity. With that being said, I’d strongly encourage you to ask your boys to think about the following things before posting anything online (photos, comments, personal information, etc):
1. Could what you’re posting online hurt or embarrass yourself, your family, or anyone/anything else important in your life now or in the future?
2. Do you REALLY know the person that’s trying to add you/chat with you on Facebook/MySpace/Twitter/etc?
3. Is it safe to give personal information to this person you’re talking to? How do you know it’s safe?
4. Can the things you’re posting online be viewed by people other than your friends/family? How do you know the things you’re posting are private?
5. Could what you’re posting online have an impact on your future (apply & being accepted into college, getting job, having a romantic relationship, etc)?
6. Are you prepared to face any consequences that might come along with posting these things online?
I’ve found all of those questions work as great conversation starters. If nothing else, it makes kids think about the things they choose to post online for a brief moment. I’d advise giving your kids room to follow the guidelines you set regarding internet/cell phone use, while still keeping a watchful eye on their activity so you can communicate about anything that’s potentially dangerous or just a plain bad idea.
Hope this helps! I love reading your blog and look forward to reading about the conversation you have with your boys!
I love the idea of having “conversation starters” instead of rules. Many teenagers, even “good” kids rebel against hard-and-fast rules. I know I did.
Conversation starters put the kid’s decision in their own hands, although there should be standards and expectations in place, and they can’t replace the watchful eye of a parent. And maybe some kids need hard-and-fast rules instead of just a conversation starter. I don’t know, my kids are still babies. Just wanted to chime in that this is great advice.
I have to say that 2 and 5 are the ones that worry me the most. While the chances of them encountering a malicious pervert online is rather small, the chances of being a hot-headed teenager that isn’t using good judgement is pretty dang high, I’d say.
(And thank you for the compliments! xo)
Thankfully my only son is 5 so we aren’t there yet. I do have friends with kids in high school though. One of them DOES NOT friend or follow her kids on Twitter, FB, etc. I told her that she is an idiot.
All the advice given is good. I’d just make sure you and your husband are on the “same wavelength” as it were in regards to this issues. Talk about it together with the boys, decided on the rules/consequences together as well.
“One of them DOES NOT friend or follow her kids on Twitter, FB, etc. I told her that she is an idiot.”
Well…I refuse to friend my kids (we don’t allow them to use Twitter) and they are not allowed on my blog.
Why?
Because they are my grown up and work places they have no business in them. I don’t put up things I am ashamed of, but not all of them are appropriate for kids, you know?
However, I absolutely have access to them and they are friends with my their father and the rest of the family, so a good eye is kept out.
I do think it’s important for kids to have a good sense of who it is they’re actually connecting with on-line (to not just willy-nilly ‘friend’ everyone). And of course the usual protections of not revealing identifying information, addresses, telephone numbers, etc.
I love that you are having this conversation with your boys. Communication is essential, and the internet adds ways to communicate that we didn’t dream of when we were kids. Because communication is a two-way street, I think no online safety conversation is complete without understanding the kids’ take on the internet and social media as a whole.
Another thing I’d love to know more about from a teen’s (or tween’s) perspective: How important is being on-line in terms of social acceptance? How big of a role does Facebook etc. have in their real-life relationships? What does ‘being on-line’ mean to them?
I know you asked what we thought the kids should hear about safety–but I know from where I sit, if I understand where they are coming from, it can help me to frame such conversations in a way that engages the kids in the conversation, rather than just telling them what’s OK and what’s not.
No, I LOVE that there are things you want to know from my kids. It is way helpful! xo
I think a big thing to ask about is bullying. Have people been mean to them online? Have they been mean to other people? Would they ever type something that they know they’d never say out loud?
I don’t think so….since I check up on them, but then, you never really know, right? I know that they have been bullied in real life, but it is a VERY good question to ask them. Or they might have friends who have been.
I have two sons 10 and 12. They each have their own phone. Mainly because it makes my life easier! We live in a small town and they spend a lot of time going between our house and friends and the park. They also go to their Dad’s, who does not always answer his phone. They do have rules where the phone is concerned and I do check incoming and outgoing texts. I have not allowed either one of them on facebook yet. I spend time discussing a lot of the stories in the media about bullying on facebook and charges filed for sending pictures through text messages. I think they need to learn early that one bad decision can impact the rest of their lives. Or maybe I’m just trying to scare them into not getting in trouble! lol! Seriously, they need to know that what they put out into the world via internet and texting is a reflection of them. They need to know that they should never send anything out via texting or on-line that they don’t want the world to know.
That is the main reason that we let James have a phone. Our younger one is hankering for one, but I homeschool him and to me, it’s not the right time.
I have two daughters, 11 and (birthday yesterday) 10 years old. I think it would be interesting to ask about what putting things on the internet, or texting means to them in terms of being unable to recall the picture or words, and the information sent being available “forever”. My 11 year old wants to be a secret service agent (really!) and we were discussing “keeping your nose clean” and my husband and I plan to use this to keep her internet/future texting use clean. I am really concerned about the temptation to send a picture or write something out of anger that can be used against them in the future. We have had discussions about Vanessa Hudgens (from High School Musical, who took compromising pictures of herself and texted them), but what do your boys think about putting information out there? Do they feel differently because you have a blog?
I scanned some of the earlier comments, and I agree that bullying is a big discussion. We have also had to text/call block my 11 year old’s phone, due to a “frenemy” type friend texting constantly (we do not have a text plan-much to her chagrin).
We talk frequently about responsible youtube use, internet use, and texting. What information has made the biggest impact on your boys (when they received it), whether serious or silly? What is their biggest temptation regarding internet/texting?
There is tons more, but these are some of the open ended questions I would be interested in seeing a tween and teen answer!
My oldest daughter is only 7 but she is already wanting to wander around on the internet. We have a lot of computers here since my husband is a software engineer so there is always a free one around and she always wants to use it.
It scares me to death to think of here googling things. You never know what is going to come up. We have a very short list of places that she is allowed to go but she is getting to the point that she wants to see what else is out there.
I have talked with her quite a bit about what to do if anyone tries to talk to her on the internet and have let her know that she always needs to talk to her dad or I before she tries to visit a site that is not on her list. I just don’t know quite how to explain to her why that is. I mean in language that she will understand without scaring her or making her want to look around even more.
I want to set firm rules now so as she gets older there won’t be any questions about what is and is not allowed.
My husband works in computers so I totally understand this. Completely.
My son is nearly 7 months old and I already wonder about how I’m going to deal with this (and I probably can’t even imagine the technology that will be available once he’s ten years old or however old it is that they start demanding these things).
I like to think that the best way I will always know how to approach this is through honesty. I plan to work really hard to have an open, honest, “you can tell me anything” relationship with my son, even though – realistically – I know those relationships are rare. But I have no problem being blunt when need be, so I could see myself sitting him down and going, “Look. If you text a picture of your boy parts to anyone, anywhere, EVER, I will know. And I made your boy parts, so I can take them back.” LOL
Btw, the picture of the three boys together at the end of the post just MELTED me. OMG. Especially Aaron’s socks. ACK. THE CUTE.
YOU NOTICED THE SOCK! (It’s always been my FAVORITE).
I don’t have quite that kind of relationship with my kids…my parents probably raised me to be too reserved for that, but I try to keep an open line of communication with them.
First, the picture of you and Butterlump is darned near angelic. Is this the red you are going back to?
Second, please tell me you don’t giggle about that Sarah Bullock line in front of your male folk?
Third, not being a parent I’m not really qualified for advice to moms on the subject. I can say this – and maybe a couple of questions.
As a man, and we know where men go on the web, sports, business, and the *other* area – and not necessarily in that order. I use the “mom” rule. The rule is this. If my mom were sitting on the couch with me, would I be “here” on the web. Pretty simple. For instance – I know she’d actually be proud of me for being “here” and the other places I’ve been since blogging. I now spend all my online time reading good stuff, yes good stuff like yours, and getting filled and inspired. I have far less desire to visit seedy neighborhoods, because this one is so rich.
Questions:
- Maybe ask the boys if they’ve ever been sexted? It happens early.
- Maybe ask them how they’d want you to respond about subjects like this – if I was a dad who had a daughter I’d want to respond in a manner she’d be receptive to.
- Maybe talk to your hubs, have him ask them some warm up questions, you know, man to man, then share with you?
That’s it.
Love reading your stuff.
I said a prayer for Wilbur – and you – hope you don’t mind.
LOL! Glad you like it! No, I am a much more natural and soft red. Though being “in your face red” was awesome, it was a bit too harsh for me.
Oh, it’s mainly her mode of delivery…it cracks me up.
Good rule of thumb about your mom and heck no…I don’t mind. :)
I don’t have any kids yet, but I think I’m going to be crazy strict about the Internet. And not even in a there-are-scary-and-mean-people-out-there sort of way. Just in that I’ve come across blogs of teenagers and whenever I read the stuff they thoughtlessly put on the Internet it makes me SO grateful that wasn’t a thing when I was younger.
‘Cause I think I would have put way too much out there. And then regretted it.
A lot.
So I’m not sure how I’d deal with it. But a big part would be trying to get kids to understand that it’s so easy to put stuff out there. And impossible to get it back.
And that most of the terrible people out there are probably quite lovely in real life and should just be ignored.
“‘Cause I think I would have put way too much out there. And then regretted it. A lot.”
I am picturing my teenage journals being online and I. want. to. die.
I know, right?
Nothing could erase that horror.
On a similar note, that’s actually completely different, can you be subscribed by mail?
You blog, I mean. I’m sure you can’t be subscribed. Not that I wouldn’t go for it if it was a possibility. But we’re talking blog here.
But I’ve recently decided to do email subscriptions to my fav blogs, you know, so I don’t miss one precious emoticon. But I’m not smart enough to figure out how.
Which might mean I’m not worthy of subscribing.
It’s all very tragic.
I have an almost 11 yo son. We are an Apple family and I find it easier to manage what he sees. He has a computer in his room (no hate mail please!) that has a profile for him. All other profiles are password protected. Each website he goes to says he has to have permission. If it is OK (Lego, Scratch, Webkinz) then I sign with the administrator password. Then he can go to it when he wants.
If his friends want to show him something on Youtube, we do it in the living room, on my computer, while I’m there. We have actually had to talk about cyber bullying as an incident happened on the Scratch website with one of his virtual friends. The administrators stepped in quickly and banned the activity but it was a good opportunity to talk about it.
We are getting ready to join Lego Universe, a multi-player game. Lego has a strict policy in place for bullying/inappropriate behavior, we’ll see how well it works! They plan to run scans of communication looking for certain patterns that indicate something is amiss. They also have full-time players in the game that are adults that work for Lego to patrol the action in real time. I feel like this is a big step out into the internet for us and will be watching for a while to see how their plan works.
We haven’t gotten into the phone/text thing other than him using my phone to send sweet texts to my husband and sister (he still says “Love you” all the time, sigh). That will be the next step.
Look forward to hearing more on this from you and other parents.
My husband is like The Anti Apple (I am a fan) but he is also a computer genius that has their computer HIGHLY filtered.
A good friend of mine, Scribbit, put a computer in her son’s room against everything she always said and she had good reasons behind her and plenty of fail safes. IT doesn’t always work to have it out in the open all the time, you know/
Huh…had never heard of Lego Universe…will have to check it out!
I don’t comment often, but think I might have something here. We have a 17-year old son. He is on the computer ALL.THE.TIME. The best $40 we ever spent was at http://www.netnanny.com. Any of these types of security programs are well worth the money. We can restrict the sites he visits, or the type of sites he visits. I get copies of all of his IM’s, we’re notified when he updates his Facebook page, I can run reports to see what websites he has visited…you get the picture. Do we do these things? Nope. Not unless we have a reason to (such as missing homework, drop in grades). I get an email “alert” anytime he’s somewhere online he shouldn’t be. If I start to see a pattern, we talk to him about it right then and there. He knows we see his instant messages, so it keeps him in check of what he writes. I hate the policing part of it, but in my opinion, you just can’t be too careful nowadays. You can trust your kid, but you can’t always trust everyone else. We’re very open with our kids and they know there’s a lot of crap online that NO ONE needs to see. BTW, our 8-year old also has a NetNanny account that limits his usage to LegoClub, MathWeb, etc.
I wish sometimes we didn’t have NetNanny, but we’re realistic-they’re kids, they lack sound judgment sometimes, and our job is to watch out for them. Right?
The computers at our house are tightly regulated, but I found out that my 11 year old has been looking at porn at his friend’s house (their computer is up in the playroom with unfiltered internet and the parents are utterly clueless.)
I’m just so mad that I can be ultra vigilant but all it takes is one naive/careless parent to undo my hard work. What am I supposed to do about this?
My teenager is never alone, not for one second, because if she doesn’t have a friend texting her, she is on FB chatting with them. It’s like the party never ends. BUT, for the kids who don’t have phones, or are not allowed to be on FB…. How do those kids stay “in the know?”
I realize I sound like a fourteen year old asking the question, but I see all the conversations that take place and I feel bad for the kids that aren’t part of them.
So this is my question-
Is it possible to be cool and fit in if you aren’t online?
Since you can’t control what goes on at friends houses the best thing is just to keep talking to them. Too many kids turn teen and block out the family. Dinnertime is probably the best; eat together every night and talk about what’s going on.
And yes, tell them you will look into everything (texts/emails/etc) then periodically do it.
My kids are still pretty little (6 and 3). The six year old goes on the internet to play games, but only in the living room with me there.
When I think about their internet use as they get older and start using FB and other social media, I think it likely that I will come down on the side of requiring that I have full access to what they do. Whether that takes the form of being FB friends or some kind of monitoring service, I’m not sure at this point. But I think that people in general (not just teenagers) forget sometimes that nothing is private on the internet, and making sure that they know that *I* can see everything that they do makes that message pretty clear, even if they aren’t particularly concerned in the moment about what a future employer might think. Same goes for cell phone and texting – I get full access, because what they do there isn’t private from the rest of the world, so there’s no reason it should be private from me. They may not think about the distant consequences of what they do, but I hope knowing that their parents can see it all will keep them in line.
That’s what I think now, anyway. Ask me again in 10 years!
Hey, so I happened upon this site, and noticed you were looking for questions to ask your children in a talk about safe internet usage. I have a couple, and a few brief anecdotes regarding some of them. I’m only 20, so I’m just a concerned citizen, not a concerned father, but here goes:
1. How much information do you think it takes online for someone to be able to find you in real life?
A lot of parents say “Don’t post personal info,” but just how much personal info is too much? Well, in my first year of university (2 years ago), I was joking around with a friend of mine from another province (we are indeed Canadian), and I suggested I could find her home address online. Knowing only her last name, home province, and her father’s profession (a farmer), I managed to find her home address in less than one minute of searching online, even without her or any of her family being part of Facebook or any other social networking sites. Now, it is different for everybody, but I just want to illustrate just how simple it is to find out information about others online.
2. Do you know what to do if you ever get sent any naked pictures of classmates, or of kids your age?
Now, I know nobody really likes considering it, but kids need to know that their possession of it is a crime, and attempting to dispose of it can also be a crime. Kids need to know that the only safe bet is to report it promptly to their parents, (so that their parents might contact the police) because if the police manage to track down that the email or text was sent to them, they can face very serious charges for possession of child pornography or for facilitation by just covering it up, and even worse distribution by sending it to others. Even if they know the other person, and the other person was the one sending it, they themselves can get in trouble for it.
3. How do you deal with strangers insulting you online?
Kids should really be taught about trolls, and generally unpleasant characters, and know to ignore such insults. If they take them seriously, they might start to feel bad about themselves, because it is bound to happen often. “Don’t feed the trolls,” don’t respond to any provocation, it will only lead to worse.
4. Do you ever click on ads that you find online?
Don’t ever click on ads. Even seemingly legitimate ones might be directing to harmful sites. If the ad strikes your fancy, search it up on a legitimate search engine, such as Google, which is much more likely to direct to a legitimate site.
Well, that’s it for me. I wish you good luck with this project, and hope that they surprise you with their knowledge of internet safety!
Ok, this is breaking the rules. And I don’t mind if you delete this because I’m cheating. And this has nothing to do with the internet thing.
But I wanted to say how much I really hate that your week has been so strangely mixed with the good and the dreadfully horrid. Some would say, “Hey, at least you had the good!”
But that’s missing the point I think. In a week like this you can’t truly experience the good because of the atrocious, and it’s magnified by the fact that you can’t take time to get over the atrocious because of the good. It’s the “no man’s land” of emotions.
It inspired a new kind of prayer for me, it’s the “give me one thing at a time because my head can’t spin so wildly in so many different directions” prayer. I look forward to praying it.
Merry Christmas Loralee
And I just realized how wrong breaking the rules was. And I’m sorry. No means no. “No comments” is there for a reason. I truly apologize Loralee. I’m sorry. Shouldn’t have done it – but can’t take it back.
Sorry
I love Phil’s comments. It shouldn’t surprise anyone that kids are naive about what should and shouldn’t be posted online. I think that parents like us (30′s) need to be very aware of what our kids face online (and not just teens–my eight year old loves to look up things online and my six year old is not far behind.) I think we need parent classes just to keep up on what’s out there–it’s not all bad, but we need the skills to teach our kids how to tell the good from the bad. Good Job Loralee.
In real life, horrible things you did have a tendency to fade away . . .
In internet life, everything you ever do or say is permanently cached somewhere – no matter how many times you delete it.
Something done in fun, intended for your friends, can easily wind up in the wrong hands.
Question: did you ever broach the “frenemy” behavior with the parent’s of the 11-year-old? Because I would want to know if my kid were up to hideousness like that.
I think that the Secret Service thing is an EXCELLENT example and discussion point for kids. While many jobs are not as strict with a completely clean background, many kids do not grasp how important it is to ‘keep their noses clean’.
Yes, we did let the “frenemy’s” parent, who did not seem to think it was a big deal. You have to take some parental reactions with a grain of salt. I prefer to know what my kids are up to, but I am finding out that not all parents feel the same.
We have discussions all the time about how something minor now can have long term implications, like posting an angry note (we discussed, specifically, how you might say something like “so and so makes me so angry sometimes, I could kill her”), which could really become a big deal, even if you were just venting to a friend, who could, in turn, become one of those “frenemys.” With two girls, I am very concerned about them sending a picture to a boyfriend down the road.
I hope my daughter keeps the goal of wanting to become a secret service agent, because, one, how cool is she? And two, blackmail (which I am not above, believe me!) I also fully intend to find ways to extend it to my younger daughter.
I look forward to seeing what you do with this!