I know, I know.
Homeschooling and Brazilian waxing are not exactly terms that you would find sitting side-by-side in a thesaurus, and please pardon the comparison. And yet, that is EXACTLY the comparison I am about to use.
Because as I thought about it, the reactions to the announcement that I was homeschooling my 6th grader were AWFULLY similar to when I said I got my 1st Brazilian wax:
“OMG! I could NEVER do that. Been wondering what it’s like for YEARS but NO…I am not brave enough!”
“I love, love, love, love, loooooooooooove it!!!!”
“Rookie. Snort! It can definitely be awful and hard at the beginning. You’ll get used to it the longer you do it and then you’ll wonder how you ever did it any other way!”
“I did it for awhile but it was just NOT for me”
“Y’all are INSANE to even TRY it!”
“#*@&(!&@*#@!!!!!!!!!”
Just like I have had homeschooling squeaking around in my head for a long time, I had wondered for YEARS about that mythical, mysterious thing that was known as a “Brazilian Wax”. (And yes, I always thought about it in quotation marks as well.)
And one day, I just jumped in with both feet and DID it.
And HOLY MOTHER OF ALL THAT IS FREAKING HOLY did it HURT.
But…
WOW.
I LURVED THE RESULTS.
And in many ways my situation ended up being quite a bit the same: I just jumped into the deep end of the pool feet first.
And the day was long, painful and tear-inducing.
And yet?
I also REALLY think I am going to love the results.
Our first day was really, really tough.
We did not get the bright and early start I had hoped for. For one, Christopher’s computer wasn’t quite done. For another, as I had been up until about 4 am getting his curriculum sorted and the week planned out and materials reviewed and polishing the content for the blog (Amuse Bouche: A perfect taste from Where Women Cook) my work was supposed to launch today for the magazine launching in December (We ended up not launching quite yet-it has a couple of issues.).
I woke up feeling like I had been thrown off of a moving train. Then run over by a tractor. Then peed on by the guy driving the tractor.
I was stressed, exhausted and had the headache from hell.
And it seemed like the day just went down hill in many ways from there.
Here’s a brief run down:
8:15- Wake up (late) to discover that James missed the bus and is still at home. And his school starts at 8:20. This day is a WIN from the beginning! Whee! Luckily, my mom comes over to see the room and I can grab a quick shower since I don’t have to pack up Butterlump and take him with us. Breakfast, makeup and fabulous hair are a luxury I do not have today.
9:20- FINALLY deposit James at school after an emergency stop at the gas station to fill up before we run out of fuel and end up having to hitchhike on the side of the road.
10:00- Come home with a new baby gate, whiteboard and dry erase markers. Since aforementioned late-for-school son broke the existing gate tripping over it in his rush to find his backpack and drew an illustration venting his frustration at his brother (labeling him a “goober head”) on the existing white board with a permanent Sharpie. Discover that Jonathan is setting up Christopher’s computer and teaching him how to use a tone generator and induction amplifier. I sit down to stare at the computer screen to do more editing on the content of Amuse Bouche for work.
11:00-Butterlump fed, bathed and in bed for his nap and Christopher still working with Jonathan, I decide that as I was still inflicted with a hell of a headache after a ton of water, 5 Tylanol and a hot shower that I have to lay down to try and get the throbbing in my head to DIE. Email the web designers confirming my 3:30 appointment and curl up in the dark in the fetal position.
Noon- Wearily emerge from my nap feeling not-great but able to see myself surviving the day without jumping off a roof from the slightly diminished throbbing in my head. (Yes, I am a baby when it comes to headache pain. I rarely get headaches and they are UNACCEPTABLE TO ME.) Start Christopher on his first formal homeschool lesson.
12:03-Notice that there are three annoying as hell flies in the school room with us.
12:30-After discussing 2 current news stories out of the paper, I let Christopher start reading 3 chapters of the book we picked out for Halloween: “Bunnicula”.
12:35-Ok, seriously? Those flies are starting to really piss me off, dudes.
1:10- We move on to writing. Every day I am going to have Christopher start writing something, a little story, a description, whatever we come up with. I just want him to write EVERY DAY. Today it was about the things he felt would be beneficial about homeschooling, what might be drawbacks and what he wanted out the most out of it. His conclusions “More one-on-one time with Mom and SLEEP”. (Word.)
2:00-After taking a moment to tweet that I want to be all “Glimore Girls” and move to Stars Hollow to be Mrs. Backwards Baseball Cap, I start the weekly math DVD for Christopher
2:10-Sister-in-law of awesome that loaned us a ton of curriculum comes over to check on how we are doing. After discussing my plan for Christopher regarding music (private lessons with Grandma M & W on Cello and Piano and daily orchestra at TECS after there current concert is over), she graciously explains the math workbook to Christopher and saves my sanity.
2:45- Pick up Butterlump for the eleventyhundredth time today and try to convince him that he is MUCH more interested in the basket of toys on the bottom of the bookshelf than munching on Christopher’s school books.
3:00- 2 Math Worksheets done, Christopher and I start looking at what topics we want to cover about The Civil War.
3:15-OMG, THAT FREAKING FLY!!!!!! I AM GOING TO KILL SOMETHING. LIKE, IT!
3:30-Let Christopher go to his cousin’s house since I have to head to Advent Creative for a meeting about tweaks that have to happen before the launch of the blog for Where Women Cook. (Aforementioned “Amuse Bouche”. It is sooooo pretty, y’all. Should be up tomorrow or Wednesday. I’m so excited, but was it ever stressful trying to launch it the same day I started homeschooling.) Luckily, the guys at Advent make me GUFFAW. AND they had Excedrin. It was pretty much an awesome meeting. Even if I don’t really remember a whole lot of it due to sheer tired and the fact that I can pretty much see a pulse in my eye at this point.
5:00-AFTER FACE PLANTING IN A GAS STATION PARKING LOT AND SHATTERING THE SCREEN OF MY PHONE (SOB), I arrive back home with Christopher, feed kids and baby a light snack.
5:30-Clean up and then head back in the classroom to copy his Latin and Greek roots flash cards and have him listen to his music history lesson on Handel and to finish writing his daily report on “Bunnicula”.
5:45- Pondering how to work the slaughter of flies into the curriculum.
6:20-Jonathan comes home surprised to still see us all still working. He thankfully takes over the dishes and laundry. (Because, MAN. No. Just…NO.)
7:34- THE FLIES ARE DEAD!!! LONG LIVE THE KILLER OF THE FLIES!
7:35- Decide to put “Lord of the Flies” on the reading list for this year. It must be done.
7:46-Christopher and I clean up the classroom. School is done for the day. Feed Butterlump, brush teeth, quick bath and bed.
8:00- Papa John’s arrives. I restrain from making out with the delivery boy out of sheer gratitude.
9:30- Bedtime for the older boys.
10:00-Time to communicate with meh peeps online and write this post.
THE END.
I left out many a thing that is irrelevant, un-bloggable or just me trying to keep the peace but truly, it was one of the most exhausting days I have had in a loooong time.
Even though I feel overwhelmed and tired at a molecular level and REALLY in need of adult-beverages-that-I-am-usually-not-even-a-fan-of, I am excited to do it all again tomorrow.
So…?
I guess this means I’ll see you all in the morning.
Because after all, tomorrow is another day with no mistakes in it. (Quoth Scarlett O’Shirley*)
For now?
I think that I should take the fact that I fell asleep listened to tomorrow’s music history lesson as a cue that it is time for bed.
Night!
*Please tell me SOMEBODY got that.
Really cool muffs!
Skull Candy, baby!
Dear Loralee,
Regarding your linking of Brazilian Waxing and Homeschooling: I was wondering, Is corporal punishment utilized in home schooling too? :-)
Best, Stephen
You face planted in a gas station parking lot? I don’t know whether to be more concerned about your face or the phone. The phone can be replaced, though.
I figure that home schooling will flow easier once you are both in a rhythm and know the best way to plan your day and it will change over time. So glad you have family that can fill the gaps for you and take the pressure off you.
Oh, and go to bed earlier, ok?
Yes. And I actually hit my face. Luckily, there is no bruising or scraping. Ugh. It did NOT help the headache, though. :)
I hope to find balance. I am just worried about him learning what he needs and wants to.
Love that he’s starting off with Bunnicula. I remember that being one of my favourites as a kid. Another suggestion (especially if you want to dive into creative writing) is Bridge to Terrabithia.
I LOVED Bunnicula, too! We’re also doing Poe’s “The Raven” for Halloween. Maybe The Murders at Rue Morgue, too…since it is the first mystery. Not sure, though…
He did that book in the 4th grade. It was a huge time for us since it dealt with death and he had already lost a brother. I have to say that I am pretty happy that it was covered already, you know?
You are a braver, better mother than I. I would not be able to organize and follow thru for homeschooling without a lot of tears and self doubt. Sounds like you had a pretty full plate BUT continued to march through the day. Congrats! Hope tomorrow is a bit easier!
M
I’ve never had a Brazilian, and I’ve never homeschooled (kids are too little.) For what it’s worth, I’d rather homeschool than get a Brazilian. Hope your second day is less exhausting!
Ha! It is definitely a bigger commitment than getting a Brazilian but not nearly has painful. ;)
Yay that both of you survived the 1st day.
Right? I need to buy us donuts or something.
I am the SAME way with headaches. I so rarely get them that when I do, they are unbearable to me.
And those headphones are amazing. MUST GET!
Right? I have constant back pain and I’m almost used to it but headaches? NO.
I love these headphones. I got them at Social Luxe at BlogHer by Skull Candy. LURVE THEM.
I don’t know how to tell you this, dear, but you’re going to be very disappointed. Lord of the Flies has less to do with the actual killing of flies than you hope.
WAY TO BRING THE FLY KILLING PARTY DOWN, DAVID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hee. (I laughed out loud at this)
YOU DID IT!!! and while the your child may not be a baby-smooth-adorable-crotch, he will be as smart as one… Okay that didn’t work. He will be as happy as one? He will be as loved as one? Well, damn. Nothing is working for me.
The first day was painful, from here on out it’s a cake walk! That’s not good either, take it from someone that has had over 20 Brazilians. They all effing hurt. In fact, the second one is even worse because you know how bad it’s going to hurt. Here is hoping your day two is better than my second wax.
I LOVE YOU!!
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH!
We spent the morning at Border’s with Kim (below). He was not very happy that I got him “The Witch of Blackbird Pond” for his next reading assignment instead of Pokemon. (Yeah…NO.)
I hear you on the 2nd time. I was almost frothing in pain before I even walked in the dang door!!! xoxoo
LOVE YOU, TOO!
Oh how I love you my bosom friend. I still think you should do a physics lesson about flies and killing them with the swatter. xoxo
I am seriously thinking about it.
Thanks for the lovely morning!
P.S. Three singing pigs go “LA-LA-LA!”
What a day! Hope things are a little less rocky from here on out.
Me, too. Sigh.
Don’t worry, it’ll get easier and easier as you make the adjustments. Your life WILL come back! Blessings, Megan
OMG I HOPE SO. This is tough to balance. Still, I am really loving it. I feel all purposeful n’ stuff.
Who are you and what have you done with my sister? In a million years I never would have expected the phone call I got on my way to Vallarta; and in a bazzillion years I never thought I would log on my sister’s blog and find she had joined the ranks of those who home school. You are so brave, if any one can be successful at this it’s you.
RIGHT?
MUST CALL YOU.
P.S. I borrowed a gajillion baskets from your closet to see what size I needed. As you were frolicking in Mexico and they were empty, I hoped you wouldn’t mind :)
(ponders a waxed and oiled Lor…..no, no, don’t go there, Joe – You are such a sexist pig!0
You survived! So did your kid (no minor accomplishment that).
I’ll dig up some links for information on the War Against States Rights for you.
So….what was it you said about you and the delivery boy?
HA! I totally brought it on, so one can HARDLY blame ya, dude! Plus, I laughed. I’m good natured that way. :)
YES! WE LIVED! YAY!
I would LOVE some advice on Civil War stuff. We have a great video series we’re going to watch but I need some good internet sites for him.
And that delivery boy is lucky he didn’t walk away getting his face smooched off in gratitude. I’ve never been so happy to see dinner I didn’t have to make.
HA! I totally brought it on, so one can HARDLY blame ya, dude! Plus, I laughed. I’m good natured that way. :)
Yeah, you have mentioned that before. Plus, as hot as you look, a guys thought will easily turn in that direction.
Here are some links to get you started.
A visual over view of the major events:
http://www.freetech4teachers.com/2009/06/civil-war-in-four-minutes.html
A summation of some of the causes of the ACW:
http://ngeorgia.com/history/why.html
A Federal POW camp:
http://www.plpow.com/
(you may want to peruse that before your son does)
On Black Confederates:
http://www.usgennet.org/usa/mo/county/stlouis/blackcs.htm
(something that may or may not go over well in the school system, since the prevailing mythos is that no Blacks fought for the Confederacy. Even though there is ample evidence that there were integrated units from the start)
I think he will LOVE this one: http://www.26nc.org/History/Rebel-Yell/rebel-yell.html
Although it does sound strangely like the sounds of a mom just starting a home schooling program.
You are a brave, brave woman, for both the brazillian & the homeschooling. OUCH to both. Good job! :)
Not for the faint of heart for CERTAIN!
I got it! Anne of Green Gables! ^^ *massive grin* I read the whole series the summer my knee was out. Ugh, what a great way to turn 13. But the books hit me at just the right time! *swoons over Gil* I still picture the characters as the actors from the movies. Can’t do it otherwise.
Anyways, congrats on getting through the first day! It looks like it had a lot of trials and tribulations. :P It’ll get better. And hey, it seems like he got a lot done! Brava and Bravo to you both!!
:D
I had to mix some Scarlett O’hara with some Anne as I love quoting them both. Yay that someone got it!
Oh! Good books for teens: The Book Thief, Widdershins, The Thirteenth Tale, Firestarter, 1984, The Handmaid’s Tale, The Princess Bride!
Of course you should check their age appropriateness first. I got to read close to anything that struck my fancy as soon as I stopped being stubborn and joined the family of readers in the constant act of reading. (Mom joked that she wondered if I’d been switched at birth. ;D)
Also, I hope you squeeze in some art lessons. *cute face* I’m an art major and I think people can learn a lot of patience and meticulousness from trying to make something. To grab his interest, I suggest Dale Chihuly, a fantabulous glass artist. And he has an eye patch. How wicked is that? And art museum trips can be extremely educational. Though I would avoid the modern art ones at first :P Try to find one that goes from ancient to modern times. Then he can see suits of armor and swords and awesome Art Nouveau and Art Deco pieces but still see Picasso, Monet, and van Gogh.
*is looking at all she wrote and realizes she is quite a ginormous art nerd* Guess that happens when you take a bazillion art classes starting in high school and then get a BFA >.>
Oh, I LOVE The Princess Bride. And 1984…am weirdly non-familiar with the rest. More to check out, though!
I LOVE art.
I SUCK at it, but I can totally appreciate it. We had an AMAZING art appreciation curriculum at the charter school. And I have a really great set of DVDs that take you through the Louvre.
I am also such a HUGE fan of The Smithsonian (some of my favorite paintings are housed there) that I want to find something about it as well.
So, yes…art is on the list and I will check out Chihuly. (The eyepatch thing is just cool). I am not as assured about the execution of art projects, but it is definitely on the list.
The Book Thief is about a couple of kids in Europe in the WWII era. You can imagine some of the things that happen. Pretty strong stuff, but it’s meant for teens.
Widdershins is by Charles DeLint and omg, you must read it. It’s a huge fantasy world with lessons in personal strength, multiple religions, love, hatred, and is just a beautiful fantasy world full of humor and gorgeousness and the ugliness of the world.
The Thirteenth Tale is about a young woman who is recruited by a famous and reclusive author to write her biography/autobiography. It’s twisty turny and I could not put it down the first time I read it.
Firestarter is by Stephen King. It’s about a little girl who can start fires with her mind and how the government is after her and her dad. I read it at 13, but you will really have to judge it for yourself for your son.
The Handmaid’s Tale has been called 1984 for women. It’s by Margaret Atwood. It does have some very adult themes, but I also read it in 8th grade. But I feel it’s on the same level as 1984 which I also read that year.
Again, I would read all of them before handing them over. My family was pretty liberal with what I was allowed to read and watch. I don’t know how you will want to handle it.
And Chihuly rocks!! As far as art projects, I suggest handing him a picture and telling him to try drawing it, and that even people who’ve been drawing for a while still tend to suck ;) It takes a huge amount of work to be good, unless you are just one of those geniuses.
I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings, but there is a very longstanding blog called Amuse Bouche. http://countingsheep.typepad.com/amuse_bouche/
We actually saw and discussed the existence of this blog and came to the conclusion that it should not step on any toes. We don’t use Amuse Bouche in our URL, it’s just the title of the WhereWomenCook.com, it is a common food term, we’re tied to different things and do different things so we aren’t in direct competition. Amuse Bouche from WWCook isn’t a ‘food blog’ like hers per say…it features aspects of the women that we place in the magazine: their bio one day, a tip and tool another, a single recipe, food photography, a restaurant in their area, etc.
But thanks for watching out for us!
Sorry for triple posting!
But good for reading assignments: Agatha Christie!
It will test his observational skills and critical thinking. Also, if you research her, she had hundreds of notebooks full to the brim of ideas for her stories. I bet Ngaio Marsh would be awesome too.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agatha_Christie
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ngaio_Marsh
Either way it would introduce him to the stereotypes of an older era. Agatha pointed those out a lot in what I feel was an ironic way, but it was pretty subtle lol.
Oh, Agatha is SOOOOO on the list. I HEART her. Hercule Poriot is one of the best characters ever. (I LOVED his last book. Dang!)
ok so I am a big bookie and want to give a big thumbs up to both Christie and Marsh. However, Marsh can be racist and I would recommend you or Jonathan read along if your boys read anything by him so you can have the appropriate discussions about changes in social mores ect…
Damn, Loralee, I’m exhausted just reading that. But it probably gets better with practice, as most things do.
BTW, don’t forget anything by Andre Norton too. Great stuff starting about that age IMHO.
Andre Norton? Thanks for the tip. I am not sure I’ve read anything by them so, Googling it! xo
You are awesome. The end.
I am thanking you big time for that. The end.
What’s more impressive is that you remembered all of those time points. Wow. And you left a lot out. double wow.
You may be able to salvage the original whiteboard by coloring over the permanent sharpie with a white board marker and then erasing. Also Rubbing alcohol sometimes works.
Congrats on surviving your first day!
Those damn flies were starting to make ME crazy!!
Good on ya, fly killer! And also for the whole surviving-the-first-day-of-homeschool thing. ;)
I love Bunnicula, I read it when I was Christopher’s age-ish and while it was a little intense for me (big ol’ wimp) I have super fond memories of that book. I think it is part of a series that may be worth checking out if he enjoys it!
May have to ask you for some info in the future… I live in Cache as well. I have always been set on home schooling… but to be honest I would have no idea where to start. Luckily I have time to learn (my baby is only 17 months). I’ve heard of groups for home schooled children and wonder if you know if there are any in the area? Kudos to you for home schooling… and your cute little Butterlump!
I loved your post! I’ve been homeschooling for a long, long time..I have many days like this- and I don’t even pretend to ever start before 9 am, that is my official start time. I realized I am not a morning person and I was tired of feeling like a failure.
Math U see rocks, because the lesson is on dvd and I don’t have to do it…!! Story of the World rocks, because we can listen to the cd’s. Outsource what you can.
welcome to homeschooling! :)
you are so right on- those reactions are exactly the ones I get when people find out I homeschool- I never thought to match that to the brazillian wax experience, but, now I think you are exactly right.
LOL!
I hope not. I am not even sure I should be allowed to homeschool with a post title like that. Heh. :)