I love babies.
As every mother should, I especially love MY babies.
They make me happy, content and I could snuggle, rock and hold them endlessly.
Getting my children here is not easy on their mama.
Along with other stuff that occurs when pregnant, I walk around with a blood disorder that can be a bit scary.
(Leiden V factor, for those that are curious. It is a clotting disorder that makes people more prone to throwing blood clots.)
Risk of complication or death increase greatly when I am pregnant.
(So many mothers die of this silent killer every year it breaks my heart.)
I will not say that I love my babies any more because of this, since we were unaware of my condition with my first and I loved him to BITS.
I WILL say that it makes me appreciate that I have them more as so many with this disorder suffer miscarriage after miscarriage.
They mean everything to me.
I have such a difficult time with my babies growing up.
Each time they grow out of a size of clothing my heart breaks a little.
I always want them to stay in that phase just a little longer.
Lots of people don’t overly care for the newborn stage but I love it.
In fact, the first year of their little lives is my absolute favorite time.
I love and adore everything about it.
When I dress them, I like them to stay looking like babies.
Not mini-adults, BABIES.
So, I usually dress them in soft one piece clothing that is comfortable, snuggable and like soft pajamas.
Eventually, they start walking and I have to face the fact that they are no longer infants.
And (SOB) that time has come for my little Butterlump, Aaron.
He is not a baby anymore–he is a toddler.
This is so HARD for me.
Aaron is my youngest.
My baby.
Possibly the last baby I will have.
I have treasured and soaked up every single stage of his little life.
Putting away the stages, the outgrown clothing, has about done me in every time I have to do it.
But even though he has gotten bigger, he has still been A BABY to me.
I have to let him grow up.I put it off as long as humanly possible, but the time came where Aaron has gone from baby to toddler.
So, I bit the bullet and we went and our little 15-month-old wore his first pairs of jeans.
It was tough but he looks so adorable that it made it all a little easier.
I’m glad I survived yet another moment of letting pieces of Aaron’s babyhood go.
I just want him to hold my hand and toddle along side me forever.
As much as I wish I could freeze time and keep him my little one, I know that can’t be.
I know that my children have to grow up.
But like millions of other mothers in the world, I look at Aaron and know that he can grow and grow and we can buy him endless pairs of jeans over the years…
…but he’ll be my baby forever.
Photo Credit: Brigitte Ballard-Smiles Portraits, Logan Utah
*Don’t forget about my $100 give away and 6-month supply of 8th Continent ($50 ERV) where we cop to our individual moments of “fail” as parents. (I had to write this to counter balance my big, fat, parenting FAIL that I wrote about over there. Would love to hear what yours is. :) )
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Oh, no. I can’t cope with the growing up and now I’m thinking about it again. I just put my 7 month old to bed (hence the blog reading). She pushed up on hands and knees this evening and honestly, I wanted to push her down! Why is it so fast? Your boy is absolutely adorably and still looks all baby to me. I’m sharing the melancholy with you tonight.
RIGHT?! It just kills me. I still have some of his 3-month clothing hanging in his closet because I just cannot do it.
It is too freaking fast. :(
Lucky Aaron, exploring the world and seeing it’s marvels for the first time. The look of joy on his face as he looks at the water suggests that you may have a Sailor on your hands someday.
I would be a proud Navy mom for certain. (So would grandpa.)
This was really beautiful to read. And your baby is sooo cute! :)
Isn’t he? Seriously, I feel that I am pretty objective with my children but HOLY COW this is one utterly adorable baby by any standard, me thinks. :)
Well, my baby turned four in June and I still having him sleeping in a crib. With bumpers.
Just trying to stretch the baby phase out for a few more years. It’s either that or have another one.
I wonder if they make cribs for 20-year-olds???? :)
Letting go is hard at any stage of their lives, but I agree, I would have liked the kids to be babies a wee bit longer. Perhaps that holds the reason for my affinity to my great nieces and nephews. They are still small while my own test out their wings as full fledged adults.
I often wonder if cancer had not removed the choice, if we’d have had another. I’ll just sit an vicariously enjoy the pictures and the tales from your side of the photos.
Your sons are all handsome as can be!
4
Oh, it’s killing me.
And as for another, man…It’s a tough choice because of the risks.
But..but…but…yeah.
It’s killing me.
I totally get it.
My BABY just turned 4 this week and I can’t believe it! I always tell her she’s my baby. She says “I’m not a baby” and I tell her since she’s my littlest, (and probably my last) that she’ll ALWAYS be my baby. ALWAYS. And then I kiss her sweet little cheeks and nuzzle her little neck and hug her to bits. Because she’s my baby and she actually still lets me!
And Butterlump? He’s so stinkin’ cute! Seriously. My boy has the best brown eyes, but Butterlump, by far, wins the biggest, most beautiful blue eyes award! And those cheeks? Don’t even get me started on those cheeks!!!! ;)
My poor kid. He is going to be munched to death by his mother because HIS CHEEKS KILL ME.
P.S. His tummy? JUST AS CUTE.
Life goes on.
I have good news and bad.
Bad first…they all become teenagers. and stay that way for 10 years.
Good news… You get much smarter between their 18th and 25th birthday, and in God’s good time they give you…Grandkids!
Which are way more fun.
I have a 14-year-old, Grandpa. I hear ya. Sigh.
AND I CANNOT WAIT TO HAVE GRANDKIDS. It has to be the best job in the world.
Those pictures are gorgeous – of all of you – but he is one adorable little boy!! I hate that they grow up so fast too, but then there are benefits to them being older – it’s a horrible catch-22 isn’t it?
I loved this photoshoot. We did it for Gap.com (they styled us and are syndicating the post) and man, they turned out so freaking adorable.
I love my kids at all stages but the little ones just make my heart burst with happy.
I’ll have to show the photos to the wife. As a great-grandmother, she is exceptionally fond of babies. Grandkids? Best evah. Even better, when they get noisy and smelly, you hand them back to their parents :)
And…beautiful pictures. You can feel the love in every one
You look far too young and spry to be a great-grandpa, Byron! But man…what an honor that must be. Again, I cannot WAIT. I want dozens of grand kids. I just hope my children are up to the task. :)
That is a raiht fahn lookin’ yard ape you have there, Miss Loralee. I’m sure that he gets lavished with lots of love and protection. Make sure he gets his share of mud, bugs, scratches, bumps, bruises, picking flowers (or weeds) for you, bicycle falls, and broken crockery.
He certainly does, Joe. I try my best to not be overly protective and make sure he lives a good, full life. Not easy, that. :)
Reading your post, and the birthday one from http://thebloggess.com/
makes me realize again how fortunate I have been.
Thanks,
w/r
I heart Jenny. She certainly went through a whole lot to get her little one here.
Oh my goodness….I love these pictures!
My friend, Brigitte, is uber talented. She takes all my photos and I just love her.
These photos are FANTASTIC!! Aaron is as photogenic as his mom. SO precious.
Awe, thanks Rach. I hope you’re well. We need to touch base.
I am of the rare breed too that LOVES the first year–the newborn, infant stages. My baby is 20 months old and moving towards toddlerhood quickly–and our last baby too.. It’s so bittersweet. Mostly bitter though, when you love that stage so much.
this is so lovely. your kids are so blessed to have you as a mom
Thank you. I feel utterly blessed to have them. They mean everything to me.
Wow, I totally love these pictures. Your baby is adorable, and the sunlight is sweetly incandescent. Where is this general area?
It’s in Cache Valley, Utah. Up at 1st and 2nd dam to be more specific. :)
I am with you, I love the infant stage. My little one is 4 months old, weighs in at 16lbs and is already in a size 9 months. Brings tears to my eyes that he is growing so much faster than my other two. (he will be my last so Im trying to make it last as long as possible) I love my kids, but sometimes wish they would stay little longer. lol.
Your little boy is so gorgeous. Such magnificant eyes!
My 3rd was 23 lbs at almost 4 months. He was such a brick house. And I wish he could be little forever and snuggle with me all the time, but I am trying to cope with the fact that is impossible. Sigh.
AND thank you. He is seriously just adorable and I’m always pleased when others think so, too. xo
You’ll let go many, many more times as a mom. My girls are now in college, have moved out (well, partly) and I’m still trying to cope with the “loss.” Sniff, sniff.
Ah, I love this. My sweetheart turned 11 months old today…and it’s so beautifully bittersweet.
I’m so tired of blogs that talk about how motherhood is “so hard” “not what I expected” “disappointing”…ah, it drives me bananas.
When I read blogs like this I am encouraged and filled with love for my Bitzy too…
Thanks to you.
Oh, I know. It is a very real struggle and it can be hard on SAHM a lot of the time but honestly…I have ALWAYS ADORED my babies. And honestly…loosing my last one just makes it all so much more precious to me. I didn’t have enough time with Matthew and so I am savoring every second I’m blessed with Aaron. xo
Awww. SUCH precious photos of your Butterlump! ;)
Total cutiepie. Y’all look great.