I have the best readers on the Internet. For reals.

**Edit: I may have to concede and say that Neptunux Lex just *might* have readers that equal mine because holy lovely comments and emails, Batman! (And thanks for the add to the blogroll. :) ) I was a little worried that we didn’t quite get off on the right footing (my fault entirely) but y’all are just wonderful and welcome at my fire ANY TIME. :) xo

I need to say thank you to you all for being so kind to me and my family on Matthew’s anniversary.

It never ceases to amaze me how simply lovely people online can be. There continues to be such a loving outpouring of support and caring for us about Matthew and I have been pondering how to tell you how I feel about you all and your generosity and love over the years.

I am convinced, hands down, that I have the best readers on the Internet.

For example?

The other day I was on a site that I pretty much lurk on.

I lurk because 98% of the time I am intimidated as hell and frankly, lack the knowledge to utter anything useful.

It is definitely not a mommy or personal blog.

It’s written by a guy named, Lex.

Someone I knew from college pointed me there some months ago and I discovered I really enjoy hanging out there on occasion.

Not just because it’s utterly different than my regular Internet world, (And I mean UTTERLY) but because I have an interest in a lot of the topics he posts. The conversation that people get going on the things he posts is  intriguing and well-informed and a good read to me. I like it. I know you may be a bit taken aback if you click over there as it seems very “not me”,  but if you’ve been around long enough you’ll realized I have many surprising, contradictory aspects of my nature.

(You know, like the fact that I am a fan of firearms n’ stuff.)

(And don’t recycle.)

(And am still a Democrat.)

(Oh, my!)

I like the way Lex writes. And the atmosphere of his blog. And he has a story, which is completely different than mine but that resonates with me. Even though I have limited knowledge I am able to (mostly) follow what he’s saying. (“Mama always had a way of explaining things so I could understand them, Jenny”).

So, even though I feel eleventyhundred times too silly to even be lurking on a site like that, I stuck around.

I think I’ve commented, um, twice in 7-months.

Until the other day.

There was a big brouhaha going on (The bickering that occurs sometimes in the comments section can be amazing to observe. Kind of like mommy-drama wars and infighting, only, um, armed and on steroids.). I usually don’t stick my oar in, even though it is tempting because I am often at odds with the majority of them politically. But the other day some dorknozzle was spouting off and threw out information I knew to be utterly untrue about aforementioned person I knew from college, so I piped up, clarified things for him and then prepared to shut the hell up again.

I checked back on the fray a little while later and saw a reply to my comment.

Being the wuss that I am, I cop to feeling a bit sick when I saw it. The feeling lasted a nanosecond when I saw this:

“Loralee! What a pleasant surprise to see you here. Two of my favorite bloggers in one space. Very cool.”

WTH???!!!!

SOMEONE HERE IS A FAN OF MY BLOG?!

AND IS WILLING TO PUBLICLY COP TO IT?

SERIOUSLY!?

I was utterly shocked in the most awesome way. Finding someone who reads my blog and also loves and is a fan of it on a site like that is pretty much like the odds of Justin Beiber finding a fan in bassoon enthusiast circles.

(Dude. Not that I am comparing myself to Justin Beiber, because, EWE.)

(And yet I sort of just did.)

(I feel dirty now.)

(Hold me.)

I was beyond flattered.

Because I think Lex’s place is grand.

The comment was from a reader named, Stephen. And he is rad. I squeed at him and how happy I was to see him in such an unexpected place and that it was a bit intimidating for me at times, so it was beyond lovely to see a friendly face AND THEN HE DID THIS:

“Loralee, Lex is gracious enough to allow me to hang around and occasionally work up the courage to profer a tidbit of a comment. The folks round these parts inspire me and always give me different perspectives to contemplate. To be in the company of honorable warriors is a privilege. For those of you who don’t know Loralee, here’s a good starting point. Highly recommend. http://loraleeslooneytunes.com/2007/11/29/her/”

AWE!

The man pretty much stood up in an equivalent of a room packed with cops, feds, pilots, military types, gun enthusiasts, and big, tough dudes (and a few pricks, if I’m honest) and said, “I LOVE READING THIS MOM BLOGGER FROM UTAH THAT IS ENTIRELY SILLY AND USES WAY TOO MANY EMOTIONS, CAPS, (AND PARENTHESIS). BUT IS EFFING COOL ANYWAY AND I PINK PUFFY HEARTS LOVE HER, Y’ALL!!!”.

(Only, you know, said in a much more manly and dude-like way.)

It was the coolest blogging moment EVER.

(Ok, getting invited to The White House was actually the coolest blogging moment ever, but THIS WAS SUPER CLOSE.)

Stephen rocks. I love that he is so diverse and tough enough to wear pink. (With little Loralee emoticons and glittery puffy hearts all over it. :) )

I grinned my head off all day long.

And I haven’t stopped.

And things like that happen all the time with you lovely people.

You never cease to amaze me .

Remember how I said I am a tangible, ‘gifts’ person?

It’s my nature.

When someone means something to me or shows me a kindness, I want to show them what it meant to me and that I care and those feelings often manifests in some sort of bit or bob or beribboned little token.

Or you know, tied up in a WalMart bag and left on your porch.

(I know.)

I wish that I could be like Jay and Silent Bob and fly all over the country to each of you to say thank you. (Ok, I know that in the movie, Jay and Silent Bob flew all over the country to kick the crap out of pre-pubescent little trolls that spent their days mocking them online and likely playing D&D in the basement of their mom’s house and eating Funyons and Chocolate YooHoo but I would rather just hug you and give you your tied up WalMart bag of love if it’s all the same to you. I am not a violent person, yo. :) )

But saying “hey, thanks” just feels inadequate.

But I came up with something as I was pricing and shopping for an iPod today. (No, I don’t own one. Yes, I am remedying that. I will hopefully own this sucker sooner rather than later.)

After Matthew died, I couldn’t tolerate many things; it felt almost like acid burning my skin.  I couldn’t watch television or listen to much music. I had a small handful of pieces that I could tolerate and I listened to them over and over and over again.

I was in the wings literally crying with how beautiful it was.

And I do not cry easily.

(Just so you know? You can TOTALLY sing after you have snotted your head off. If you are phonating correctly, you should be able to completely plug your nose and not have it alter your sound. If you take a deep breath and sing “AH” and then plug your nose your sound should not change at all. If it does? You’re doing it wrong. :) )

This bit of music has soothed my tattered spirit countless times.

I put it on repeat last night when I was writing about my boy.

It is simply one of the loveliest (though MOST UNFORTUNATELY NAMED) pieces of music ever written, in my opinion.

And I want to share it with you as a thank you for everything you have given me.

So, please…listen.

Really listen.

(And try to ignore that the conductor freakishly resembles a hoity-toity (and orange) Gil Grissom from CSI.)

Let it give your soul a warm bath.

I hope you like it.

I wish it were nearly as wonderful as everything you all have given to me through the years.

xo,

Me.

P.S. Is this the lamest thank you gift ever?