Dear Matthew,
Every year I make a pact with myself and swear that the anniversary of your death will be easier to deal with. And every year I usually sit here in the still hours of the night realizing that I am such an idiot for thinking this could (or should) get easier.
It’s been so long since I’ve seen your sweet face.
You would be 7 this year.
James was 7-years-old when you died.
He looks so little.
Your casket looks littler.
A casket should not be that small. It’s so very…wrong.
I know that I never talked to you like this when you were here, but it’s nice, every so often, to do. Because I have to believe that you are here somewhere. No matter how bitter, how filled with rage and despair and anger I have been, I have always believed that you still exist.
I refuse to believe otherwise.
Refuse.
You were too wonderful to just end.
So, here I sit.
Alone in the middle of the night with a lake of tears on my keyboard.
Aching to talk to you.
Hold you.
Kiss you.
7 years have passed since that horrible night I held you in my arms in a trauma bay and broke into more pieces than I will ever be able to put back together.
I feel like I have lived several lifetimes since then, held completely still and gone around and around like a broken record all at the same time.
I look at other 7-year-olds and think about what you would be doing, how many teeth you would be missing, how you should be going to school next door and how I should see you from our kitchen window waving at me from the playground at recess. You should, and would be doing all the things other 7-year-olds are doing. (Only you would be much better looking and talented than them all. What can I say? You were utterly adorable, son. I am just speaking the truth, here.)
I try to picture what you would look like and I am usually at a loss because I keep picturing you as my sweet little baby.
I miss you so much it physically hurts, Matthew.
I’ve been ok, really. Most of the time it is doable.
I laugh a LOT.
Ask anyone.
:)
I just…I feel so tired tonight.
Just worn to bits.
The things I think about and remember would make anyone tired.
Sometimes, not often, I look at photos from then.
In some ways it was easier right after I lost you because how I felt is obvious just by looking at me. I see my face in these photos and see a girl who could crumble to pieces with a gust of wind. Raw emotion is all over me. (And usually everyone with me. Especially your dad. He loves you so.)
When we were at the Mortuary with you–
During your funeral–
And the day after your funeral and I went to help your cousins get ready for Homecoming–
We all carried the weight that was your loss in every inch of us.
We still do.
I still do.
I am still this–
Whether I want to or not, I still carry this woman around with me every single day.
I probably always will.
(For the record, I think she could stand to lose a pound or two to give my back a break. And can someone tell her that the cast of Friends called and they want their hairstyle back. Just sayin’.)
I have found small ways to cope, though.
(Like inappropriate humor, for example. ;P)
Little things that don’t seem like they would help comfort anyone and yet they do.
I’m such a tangible person.
‘Things’ matter deeply to me.
I don’t know why this is and often, well, it kind of makes me feel shallow.
Even though I know I’m SO not that way.
Gifts make me feel like I am important to someone. It doesn’t matter overly what it is, it could be as small as a letter or a pack of my favorite gum. It’s what is behind it. Objects make me feel tied to someone. It’s almost like all my memories of them in something I can hold, touch and smell. In high school, when he was at one of his endless rehearsals or football practices, I used to spray my boyfriend’s sweatshirt with his cologne and wear it while slow dancing with a pillow in the dark to a mixed tape of “our songs” before writing poems about my pain.
(For the record, I am aware that I was a total tool in high school, son.)
Things can bring me a lot of comfort.
I went to a conference this week. It was a big change for me. I’ve never been away and around a lot of people near your anniversary. It was actually very helpful. So many people were kind and listened to me mention you a bit. They were all so lovely. After confessing to everyone how much I loved her handmade ruffled bags, a lovely lady told me to come by her booth and pick out any bag I liked. It was a good thing she did, too because your father would have hit the roof if I purchased one. more. handbag.
(Somehow, Bug, I know if you had been given the opportunity to grow into a man and marry a wonderful girl with a penchant for red hair you would have been TOTALLY understanding about a girl’s need to buy fabulous handbags. Because you are awesome.)
This is the one I picked.
(Photo courtesy of The Fancy Farmgirl)
It made me so happy when I saw it.
I bet you know why, don’t you?
And why I chose this particular bag this particular week?
Yup.
It’s orange.
Or as I like to call it, “Bug Orange”.
It reminds me of you, Matthew.
I could never find an orange outfit to dress you in and it was frustrating, but I would have dressed you in orange every day of your life if I had the ability.
There was so very little I cared about after you died, but I knew that I wanted orange at the funeral. And as I look at the photos from that day, I see it peeking out everywhere-from flowers, to clothing to your little things that we brought with us to hold and love on as we said goodbye to you.
It’s kind of like that book and movie, Pascal and the red balloon when I look through your photo album, only with orange.
Even the bag piper that we had play the pipes in Celtic tradition to guide your soul off to heaven wore his plaid with orange in it (though it looks more red here, it.was.orange.)
I know it seems like such a small thing, but I am so tangible and this color has given me so much comfort over the long years here without you.
I buy orange as often as possible.
When I wear or use something orange it is like having a little bit of my sweet Little Bug with me.
And I always, always, ALWAYS think of you when I see it.
The same goes with ladybugs because well…that was your nickname.
We put lady bugs and orange all over where you are now.
Because they are YOU to me.
And they have brought me a lot of joy.
And so have the people that loved you.
And if they didn’t know you, they love you through me.
Those people loving you has helped save me, Bug.
I love them.
It’s why I sobbed my eyes out today when I opened a package and reading the sweet note enclosed from a dear, sweet, lovely friend. She is lovely and listened to me talk about you and orange and lady bugs this weekend. And then she flew home and made this little bug I can wear with “Always” stamped on the bottom.
And it’s true.
It is for “Always”.
Because you will always be here with me. I may be the most tangible person alive, but I don’t need one single object to remind me of my unending love for you, Matthew. You are my son. My little one. My light and life and love that will never stop being a part of me and a part of the people that love you so very, very much.
I miss you.
I think about you.
I love you.
ALWAYS.
Love,
Mama.
Crying tears tonight for you & your little man, I’ll say a prayer for peace for you.
I believe losing a child (not to mention an infant)has got to be the most painful of all human experiences. I cannot begin to imagine the depths of your pain…even now. But I believe Bug lives on in a better place. Stay strong, receive my virtual hugs, and I will pray for peace and comfort in your life.
Awe, it’s so lovely to see you here, Debbie. Wish you could have met him. He was lovely. xo
It’s 1 am and I am up, and crying and reading this touching memorial to your baby. Such a beautiful letter. Many, many hugs to you.
Thank you both…I have gotten so much love and hugs tonight thanks to Twitter. I am so thankful but I needed to pipe up and say thank you for taking the time to jot these down here where my family can read them.
It just touches my heart.
I’m grateful to you.
xo
Oh my word. I am at work in the UK and I am crying here.
This is so heartfelt and I am physically hurting for you, even know I know it is nothing like the pain your feeling.
I admire you for your writing. Your truly have a way with words. This must have been so hard to write, yet you say it with such flow and love.
Thinking about you and your whole family today x
P.S Let me know if you want thai chilli crisps and digestives!
Sending you hugs.
Beautiful words, Loralee.
So much love to you and your family and your precious little Bug.
Love. Just love.
Oh, my sweet friend. I don’t know how you do it— you are an inspiration. Lots of love to you and your loved ones. xoxo
That you can write so well about this.
What you’ve been through…Ida know how you do it.
I read you blog all the time, but I don’t comment much, I’m sorry today.
But I couldn’t not comment on this beautiful post.
Like so many others I’m sure, I cried reading this post.
I just wanted to send out heaps of love and hugs to you. I barely know you, and you don’t know me at all.
And I love you son too.
This is a really beautiful letter to little Bug, thank you for sharing it with us. Thank you for allowing us a window into your beautiful soul and into your pain so that we can share the burden with you. I will pray for you to be smothered in peace in this difficult time.
I love how you embrace orange in rememberence of him. I’m a “tangible” person too & I think it’s a wonderful way to take him with you through life.
p.s. in the pictures of you at the funeral, you look so beautiful and so strong. I know you felt the complete opposite, but what I see is a brave woman.
love you!!!
xoxoxo,
grace
I’m pretty sure I don’t have any more tears or snot left. Wow. Thank you for this post. Thank you for being so beautiful and brave and honest. And thank you for loving orange and for reminding me how lucky I am to have my snaggle-tooth six year old kicking me in the kidney half the night three days a week…You’re awesome. Wishing you lots of peace and joy today, and always.
(Enter giant squeeze here)…
Mol
Oh Loralee, this is beautiful. I have pictures, somewhere, i think, of Emma’s funeral. But I wouldn’t know where to find them.
I remember those raw emotions. Looking at your pictures brought it back for me. Thank you for sharing it.
Last night as I lay in bed, I said a special prayer for you. I know you and God are in a fight, but He and I are not, and so I asked Him to send you lots of comfort, love and ladybugs today.
I love that necklace so much. I saw it and was going to buy one and then…well, you know. It is perfect for our little bugs isn’t it?
I think it is so funny that both of our angel baby’s were our bugs. Emma bug and your sweet bug.
I miss him for you. I miss her for me. I miss what our children would have brought into our lives.
I love you sweet friend.
You never know when a bug necklace will find you, love. ;)
I love you back.
(P.S. See my reply to Tanis. I am sure you will agree.)
I thought about you all day yesterday and said little prayers for you. Funny that you mentioned how you thought you looked in those pictures…I was thinking that you looked small. Of course I may have been fooled by the Jennifer Aniston haircut and imagined you a waif like her… (tangent. Sorry.)
Love you, friend. I know that you know but it can’t hurt to be told over and over again on a day like today. xoxo
Oh, I’m sobbing here. This is beautiful and so raw and perfect and I feel privileged to read it. Those pictures are heart breaking but so important. Hugging you hard virtually today and always.
so much love to you this day and always, Loralee.
((hugs))
Crying at work in Kansas. This post reminds me that we never know what someone is carrying around with them. We should all be more compassionate to each other. Thank you for reminding me of that. Sending thoughts of peace and love your way.
Sobbing at work here, too. I’m not even sure what to say. My heart and thoughts are with you today. Maybe it’s weird, but thank you for continuing to share this and remind people that pain doesn’t just go away. That you are the person that continues to live with it; that that person continues to live inside you. People need to know that, to understand it.
Many many many cyber hugs to you today.
loralee.. what an incredible message to your darling. i am brand new to your blog (found you from kami) and am inspired by your eloquent honest words about losing your son. my thoughts are with you today. ever praying for your strength.
xo. marta
Hugs and prayers coming your way from me.
Hugs to you, today & everyday. xo
I never want to see the photos of Shale’s funeral. I never want to relive that raw pain.
I’m just not strong enough.
Thinking of your Bug bossing my Bug around upstairs.
xo
I haven’t looked at them in years.
There is one set of photos I never, ever look at. At the hospital on the day he died and the mortuary (save two photos where I can’t see him in the shot.)
I’m not even close to strong enough.
So, they sit in an unopened, white scrapbook.
Our bugs are having a grand time together, I know it. (And probably fighting over the sheer cute that was PrairieMama’s Little Bug, Emma. Boys will be boys. ;p)
I just wish all three of them were here.
Love you to the moon, friend.
I love you, lady. Wish I could be there to hug you. xoxo
I love you.
More hugs coming your way.
I recently went thru a miscarriage – 12 days ago – I find myself lost in this sea of grief that I have no idea how to navigate. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us.
I am so very sorry for your loss, sweet mama.
XO
Loralee, I met you super briefly at Mom 2.0, and it wasn’t until after that conference (in advance of BlogHer I think) that I learned about the baby you lost. My deepest deepest condolences to you and your family.
This is a beautiful tribute and I think Matthew would be so very proud of the joy you bring to life, despite the palpable hurt and longing you must feel every single day.
Hugs, Christine
this post just rips my guts out. A sincere condolence for you and your family, I am so sorry. Please take care. xoxox
~emily
No mother should ever have to feel that pain. I cried today for you and Jon.
I wanted to leave a word of encouragement and love but I am at a loss of what to say. Your words have me bawling. My heart breaks as I see your pictures from that time then it lifts with joy as I see your little ways of remembering…like orange and lady bugs. {{hugs}}
I understand a little of your pain. We have a casket that small, too. No casket should EVER be that small – and yet sometimes they are.
HUGS, Loralee.
I hate it, Lou.
It’s so wrong, but it happens.
As much as I hate that I look at so many of my friends like you, Tanis, Kim, Heather, Cecily and know you know the same loss I do it helps enormously to have people who (unfortunately) get it and have been there.
xo
My tears won’t help much, but they came anyway.
So sorry, there are wounds time does not heel very well.
I wish I could find more words. This post was so emotional. I could hear your tears. I’m sorry you are hurting.
My grandmother lost her first son when he was about 2. A disease in that case. It was a long time ago. To this day she still cries every day over her loss, over the giant whole that his departure left in her heart.
At least the joys of her other children, then grand children, and now her great-grand-children bring her joy and peace.
I wish you the same.
Much love to you and your family.
Wow. I’m new to you. Came over here from a tweet by joyunexpected. So sad to come and find such heartbreak. But you write about your boy beautifully and although I’ve never been through this… I can’t imagine that any amount of time would ever be “enough” to get over it.
My heart goes out to you.
*hugs* to you and your family.
Tears are pouring down my face for you and your sweet bug. You know what the most tangible thing in the world is though? Your love for him.
lots of love to you, loralee.
i cant even imagine. thank you for allowing us into this part of your life and i hope sharing it helps you in some small way. i love how orange and lady bugs ties into all of this. very cool. i love both and they both have special meaning to me too. i share your faith/belief that he still exists.
*Tears.* I’m glad that you have such great people in your life!
*sigh* This is a beautiful letter to your Matthew, your bug. Thank you for sharing him with us. It brings tears to my eyes to read how painful this was and is for your heart. But sharing your story, and his, helps me take a step back and be thankful for my girls – even when they drive me batty. ((hugs)) to you.
What a beautiful letter.
Sending you love today and always.
So, so sorry. How do your boys feel about today? Do they talk about it at all? Wishing all of you peace.
Yes. They miss their brother and sometimes, well…the really have a hard time.
We do talk about him, but not often. Usually on days like today. We’re not keeping anything back, it’s just really difficult for us to do.
It will have to be more of an effort with Aaron because he never knew his big brother.
Love and hugs to you today. And always.
Hugs, hugs and more hugs, babe. I have no words that could convey how sorry I am you have to deal with this. Nothing but hugs and love and strong loving comfort.
I follow you on twitter, but have never read your blog until now. If only there were words to bring your boy back, or to go back and time make That Day never happen, if I knew those words I would say them, but all I can think to say is I’m so sorry for you. No one should EVER know the feeling of losing a child. If in some small way, it is any consolation, I want to thank you. Because of you sharing your story, I’m going to go check on my napping girls, and maybe even wake them up just to hug them tight. And if I hadn’t read this, I probably would have missed that opportunity. Love to you, your family, and your little bug.
I’m glad I got to hold him. xoxoxo
I am so glad you did, too, Karen. So few got to actually see him in person. Means the world.xo
My son Caleb would be eight. And I am sure much like Bug, he would have been the perfect child. Took showers without complaining, ate all his vegetables and went to bed without any fuss. Each little boy of about 8 I think and wonder and remember. Thank you for sharing such raw emotions. I too will be praying for you today. I have the faith that I will be reunitied with my son some day and that thought gives me hope on anniversaries like today.
I am so sorry that you lost your boy, Colleen.
Huge hugs.
I wanted to take some of my Twitter love and put it here so my family can read them. (Comments are so spread out over the web these days. I can see them but most of my family doesn’t Tweet.) (I know.)
@looneytunes Found a ladybug in the house today :)
EvonneSell 8:05pm via ÜberTwitter
Love @looneytunes! Will never wear orange again without thinking of her and her sweet Matthew!
YKnot 7:27pm via Twitter for Android
@looneytunes Because. YOU’RE AWESOME!
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themoira 7:20pm via Web
@looneytunes Don’t know you, but thinking of you today. You deserve this day to mourn, but hang in there….
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hollywoodhwife 6:20pm via TweetDeck
@looneytunes thinking of you today….
drawntotheflame 6:20pm via Web
@looneytunes I’m happy to hear your prostate will be well recognized… :)
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Freshwidow 6:11pm via Web
@looneytunes I was really sad to not be at BlogHer, even as I was being a bigshot in San Diego! xoxoxoxox to you too.
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WendysHat 6:10pm via Twitter for BlackBerry®
@looneytunes Lol! Did you win a free prostrate screening?! You are funny!
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Freshwidow 4:13pm via Shareaholic
This is one of my favorite posts ever by the great @looneytunes. “Her” – http://tinyurl.com/5jkukk. It WILL make you cry. With love.
designhermomma 3:22pm via First Five Followers
I tweet since 28 Feb 2008. My #first5 followers: @TheBroModels @looneytunes @mooshinindy @OrdinarySarah @youngmommy. http://bit.ly/first5
firstimehitched 3:06pm via Web
@looneytunes LOVE this photo x
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drawntotheflame 3:05pm via Web
@looneytunes Hey – message me your address? I have a little something for you and can’t find where I had it written down. Hugs, babe!
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pgoodness 3:05pm via TweetDeck
@looneytunes Yes, I bet they do. :)
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KYouell 1:42pm via Web
@looneytunes I think you should at least have a hashtag if not TM the phrase #FriendsInTheBoxOnMyDesk Love it!
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KYouell 1:29pm via Web
@looneytunes Wish I had been awake to hug you then. I commented on the post itself for your family’s sake. & less cutting & pasting for you!
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travelmonkey 12:35pm via Web
@looneytunes you’re never alone (this message brought to you by the 1000s of people worldwide who love you)
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mamaspeak 12:30pm via Echofon
@looneytunes ((hugs)) I know it’s not much, but it’s all I got
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hairyshoefairy 11:49am via HootSuite
@looneytunes ((hugs)) Thinking about you today and cried small pond of tears while reading.
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Shnerfle 11:48am via Twittelator
@looneytunes Love to you, may this day pass quickly and quietly.
squashedmom 11:47am via Web
@looneytunes Thinking of you today. So many of us holding you in our hearts. Wishing you what peace may come.
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bethysmalls 11:35am via Echofon
@looneytunes I’m so sorry today is extra hard. Hug.
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velocibadgerGRL 11:32am via Twitter for iPhone
@looneytunes hugs to you, sweet soul <3
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mymoderncountri 11:30am via Web
@looneytunes Special thoughts sent your way from... me.
travelmonkey 12:35pm via Web @looneytunes you're never alone (this message brought to you by the 1000s of people worldwide who love you)
Show Conversation mamaspeak 12:30pm via Echofon @looneytunes ((hugs)) I know it's not much, but it's all I got
Show Conversation hairyshoefairy 11:49am via HootSuite @looneytunes ((hugs)) Thinking about you today and cried small pond of tears while reading.
Show Conversation Shnerfle 11:48am via Twittelator @looneytunes Love to you, may this day pass quickly and quietly.
squashedmom 11:47am via Web @looneytunes Thinking of you today. So many of us holding you in our hearts. Wishing you what peace may come.
Show Conversation bethysmalls 11:35am via Echofon @looneytunes I'm so sorry today is extra hard. Hug.
Show Conversation velocibadgerGRL 11:32am via Twitter for iPhone @looneytunes hugs to you, sweet soul <3
Show Conversation mymoderncountri 11:30am via Web @looneytunes Special thoughts sent your way from... me.
WickedSteppMom 11:21am via Web
@looneytunes (((((BIG HUGS)))))
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jjlogs 11:20am via Web
@looneytunes I'll hang out with you until naptime is over. :) *hugs*
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firstimehitched 11:20am via TweetDeck
@looneytunes hang in there honey x
mrsnotouching 11:12am via Web
@looneytunes thinking of you.
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alotofnothing 11:11am via TweetDeck
@looneytunes many hugs mama
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kaseyscrazymama 11:11am via Web
@looneytunes WAY late, but I want to give you a hug.
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kissthedog 11:09am via Twitter for iPhone
@looneytunes love and hugs and love and hugs and love and hugs and love and hugs and love and hugs and love and hugs and love and hugs
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MFA_Mama 11:08am via Web
@looneytunes Anniversaries are hard. Go easy on yourself. We're all here loving on you from all over.
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firstimehitched 11:07am via TweetDeck
@looneytunes hang in there honey, this day won't last forever x
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Issascrazyworld 11:06am via Web
@looneytunes You aren't alone sweetheart. You have us. Just stay here. We'll all hold your hand. Tons of hugs friend.
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Avasmommy65 11:05am via Web
@looneytunes You're not alone, babe. We're all here, holding you up from afar.
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christeno 11:05am via Web
@looneytunes Hugs to you, my friend <3
Paigewh 10:54am via Twitter for BlackBerry®
@looneytunes Are you going????
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tuwabvb 10:46am via TweetDeck
@looneytunes Just accidentally sent you a DM when I just meant to reply to say lots of love to you today.
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dontcallmemom 10:41am via Tweetie for Mac
@looneytunes ((hugs))
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Freshwidow 10:41am via HootSuite
RT @looneytunes: :'( http://ht.ly/2IzGw Seven years of missing her baby. Loralee, you are SOOO loved, & so was he. ~~~HUGS!!!~~~
AngellaD 10:37am via Web
@looneytunes We HAVE known each other so long…you found me back when @verymom was Kerflop. Glad to know you and happy to love on you. :)
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BarnMaven 10:37am via Twitter for BlackBerry®
@looneytunes thinking of you today. Sending hugs and prayers.
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KGBphoto 10:35am via Twitter for BlackBerry®
@looneytunes Keep writing. Your love for your baby was perfectly shared this morning. I am grateful for gift of sharing your story
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kristins4kids 10:33am via TweetDeck
@looneytunes thinking of you today.
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AngellaD 10:32am via Web
@looneytunes Hugs, lady. Big smooshie hugs.
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ryles 10:31am via Web
@looneytunes miss you.. and love you! and that letter to your baby boy was SO sweet. I just know he is with you today.Hugging you right back
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123cuteascanbe 10:31am via Web
@looneytunes {{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}} You are a very strong and loved women!
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MFA_Mama 10:31am via Web
@looneytunes Is that today? Are you okay?
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leighish 10:31am via TweetDeck
@looneytunes *huggggggggs* and a huuuuge fountain diet coke (with a long straw.)
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lceel 9:35am via Web
@looneytunes I know, Sweetheart. HUG.
bebehblog 9:31am via TweetDeck
@looneytunes I’m thinking about you today xoxoxoxo ((((Loralee)))) < ---hugs
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leighish 9:15am via TweetDeck
@looneytunes sending a great big *HUG* your way!
bostonmamas 8:52am via HootSuite
Read this http://ow.ly/2ILTD (from @looneytunes). And then hug your little ones today and don’t sweat the small stuff.
joyunexpected 8:35am via Web
thinking of @looneytunes today. http://loraleeslooneytunes.com/2010/09/23/a-letter-on-the-7th-year-of-missing-you/
Kyleelb 8:15am via Web
@looneytunes Thinking of you and sweet Matthew today. Lots of hugs and love your way.
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bookishpenguin 7:57am via TweetDeck
@looneytunes Big hugs. My heart and thoughts are with you today.
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itsafifty 7:40am via Echofon
@looneytunes Sending hugs & prayers for you & your family…
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Toni_M 6:56am via Web
@looneytunes sending warmth and hugs xoxo
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atmegs 6:55am via TweetCaster
@looneytunes I wasn’t awake, but I am now. Hugs!
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gracebiskie 6:12am via Shareaholic
A letter on the 7th year of missing you. – http://tinyurl.com/3abquew (via @looneytunes) (a beautiful goodbye of a friend who lost her son).
Coleen_N_Kerwin 4:15am via Web
Pick Topics To Write About http://www.AndWriting.com/?=669c @BOOK4CHANGE @looneytunes @weirdbaseball @scribblingirl
agentninety9 4:14am via TweetDeck
@looneytunes huge, hugemungous hugs. Anytime. XO
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foldinglaundry 3:33am via Twitter for iPhone
@looneytunes BIG hugs to you. xo
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SaraJOY 3:13am via Panoramic moTweets
@looneytunes ((hugs)) today & every day. What a beautiful letter, what a beautiful boy. My heart is with you today…
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firstimehitched 2:44am via Web
@looneytunes You are so welcome, I would seriously send you some though you only have to ask.Totally having thai chilli crisps with my lunch
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bunzibruten 2:41am via TweetDeck
@SeraphimSP thx for link to @looneytunes.Our family lost a baby this year.so therapeutic to read of others losses. gut wrenching but helpful
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travelmonkey 2:38am via Echofon
@looneytunes youre pretty super to me, dude
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VampireSmitten 2:25am via ÜberTwitter
@looneytunes a million hugs, Loralee. <3
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SeraphimSP 2:25am via Echofon
I love this woman RT @looneytunes: A letter on the 7th yr of missing Matthew http://ht.ly/2IytF
firstimehitched 2:24am via Web
@looneytunes Send me your address and I would happily send you a care package.If you like the thai chilli you will love the spare rib flavor
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unexpexpectbaby 2:17am via ÜberTwitter
@looneytunes (((HUGS))) You’re so strong, and brave for sharing. And you rock for having delivered your nephew safely!
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IAmDebra 2:12am via Twitter for BlackBerry®
@looneytunes Big hugs, sweetie. ((Squeeeeze))
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redlotusmama 2:11am via Twitter for BlackBerry®
@looneytunes *HUG* (lots of huge ones)
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travelmonkey 2:10am via Echofon
@looneytunes hugs to you. You’re the one who should have the supergirl license pic :)
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zeehay 2:06am via Twittelator
@looneytunes I don’t know you but if it helps any, here’s a big hug from a stranger that was touched by your story. Peace.
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dilewis 2:05am via Web
@looneytunes that just made me cry. my thoughts are with you tonight.
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FaerieKitteh 2:04am via Web
@looneytunes I pray for you, & your family, for the strength & loving that you need. Your son is an angel now, looking over you.
kristenhowerton 2:04am via Web
@looneytunes (((hugs)))
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letters4lucas 2:03am via Twitter for iPhone
@looneytunes This is a beautiful tribute to your son. Sending hugs and peace your way.
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KikkiPlanet 2:01am via Twitter for iPhone
@looneytunes The worst a woman could ever endure, you have. I don’t know this unimaginable pain but I feel for you. Heartfelt empathy.
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melaniebknits 1:55am via TweetCaster
@looneytunes ((((hugs))))
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mommycait 1:54am via ÜberTwitter
@looneytunes forever hugs, lady. I love you, & I’m here if you need me
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shannoncarino 1:51am via Web
@looneytunes I’m sorry, L. Many hugs. I don’t know what to say, but will say a prayer for you & your sweet boy tonight.
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aliasbob 1:51am via tGadget
@looneytunes *HUG* Lots and lots of *HUGS*
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firstimehitched 1:48am via Web
@looneytunes I’ll give you a hug all the way from the UK, thinking of you lots today xox
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Zoeyjane 1:39am via Web
@looneytunes I was going to send you a hug before I even saw this tweet. HUGE love to you, hun.
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Miscmum 1:39am via TweetDeck
@looneytunes [HUGS} x
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theconnectedmom 1:38am via Web
@looneytunes hugs
Thinking of you and your family today. I’m so impressed that you can look at any pictures from that time. I bawl just looking at your pictures. You’re an amazing mom and he was so lucky to spend his life with you.
I’ve read you for some time now, but your story never ceases to touch me. You’re a stronger woman for going through what you did, but I wish you didn’t have to.
Sidenote – My brother-in-law worked for a mortuary for awhile. Whenever we would visit I always got torn up by the small caskets. I agree, they shouldn’t make caskets that small.
thank you so much for sharing your heart, and your bug, with us…sending love!
*blots her eyes and hugs you*
Love to you, dear lady.
As much as you need, if you need more than has already been heaped upon you.
Love multiplies.