Jonathan, where is the remote?
Why?
Because you’re asleep and I have no desire to watch UFC.
My eyes may be closed but I can still hear, and if you get the remote you will turn it on something stupid and vapid like The Real Housewives of Wherever.
So, you are ok with two dudes in their underwear beating the hell out of each other but not The Real Housewives of New Jersey?
Hey, I would watch The Real Housewives of Preston, Idaho if they got in a ring in their underwear. As it is? I would rather shoot myself in the head than watch it, thanks.
CLEARLY, you are underestimating the chicks on RHWONJ. They make me a little afraid for my life sometimes. Besides, I’ve had a long day too and if you’re going to sleep I think I should get the remote, so hand it over.
No.
Don’t make me take it from you!
Ha! Just try it.
Seriously, I could totally come over there and take you down! AND STOP SNORTING!!!! I AM FIERCE, YO! DON’T UNDERESTIMATE THE DARK SIDE OF THE FORCE, LUKE! You get up! We’ll all get up!! IT WILL BE ANARCHY!!! Then there will be TOSSING! TURNING! GRABBING! PINCHING! UN-INTENTIONAL KNEEING OF BOY BITS AND ANGST TO THE POINT THAT IT WILL BE WORSE THAN THE CAPULET AND MONTAGUE HATE-IN OF THE 1590′S, DUDE! AND THEN WHEN WE’RE ALL BROKEN AND BLEEDING IN A HEAP AND THE REMOTE IS LAYING IN SOME MANGLED PILE OF DESTRUCTION SOME GUY IN TIGHTS AND A LYRE WILL COME OUT YELLING ‘ALL ARE PUNISH-ED!!!!!”
Sounds hot.
Perv. Now I’m all tired. Scoot over…I’m going to sleep. My uber-fierceness wore me out.
I WAS trembling in fear of you there for a picosecond, baby.
Nice try. You’re still not getting laid.
Can’t blame a guy for trying.
Recite a sonnet next time. It will work better as foreplay than two guys in underwear bleeding all over the floor.
Or, I could just hide the remote as incentive for you to cave.
Bastard.
Heh.
Um, yes….
When it comes to the battle for the remote, “All are punnish-ED!”
I’ve discovered that the remote for the living room cable box works on the cable box in the bedroom.
Ooooh!!!! Dueling remotes!
Brilliant. Simply brilliant. I am sensing a good time to be had, here. Thanks for the tip, coz.
Oh, wait. On re-read….You probably meant for me to get my lazy heiny out of bed to go into the living room to watch the show of my choice.
Right?
Dang.
And I was liking the dueling remotes thing so much. Kinda like “Deliverance” only, you know…not. ;P
No, I totally meant to have a remote fight over the tv in the bedroom.
The living room is not for watching anything that isn’t fit for brunch company.
I totally knew I loved you for a reason.
You complete me.
Thanks for a late-night laugh. What is it about remotes that brings out the worst in us? And the laziness in us? And I agree; bleeding men in underwear just doesn’t do it for me either.
Please, just go to.the dollar store & pick up a universal remote, program it while he’s not home & subtly lower the sound & change the channel while he falls asleep! OR pull the TV plug,whatever works..
YES … I have to pry it out of his hands after he falls asleep and starts snoring but he’ll wake with a start and say “I was watching that.” Hmmmph…MEN!
This is what you write when you blog on Nyquil, eh?
And in my house is this is so totally foreplay.
That sounds very similar to hubbys fights and mine.. I use movie and literary quotes ALL THE TIME.. the difference being MY husband would stop the argument, look at me, and say “did you REALLY just quote Breakfast Club at me?!” while shaking his head like I’m pathetic. Then I take advantage of his judging-ness and swipe the clicker.
The New Jersey “ladies” were gyrating on poles in their underwear a few weeks ago. And in front of ex-cons. That has quite a few parallels to UFC.
Okay, I just have to say thank you for this post. I was starting to think that MY HUSBAND was the only one who tried to pull this “I’m not asleep, just resting my eyes” bull honky….he isn’t the only one!!! Why must they control the remote, even in their sleep?? I mean, he’ll be in a DEAD sleep…leg twitching, snoring, head bobbing….the whole nine yards. Love this post, and the fact that UFC was on. Because God knows that is WAY WORSE than anything else on television.
Perhaps if you told him the NJ gals were in their underwear too he might watch.
Sounds like the reason we don’t have a tv in the bedroom
My boyfriend is obsessed with RHONJ. I prefer NY, but now I’m kind of with him. NJ is trashy and awesome. Ah remote fights…
Ha! Sometimes I preemptively hide the remote while I’m putting the baby to bed so he won’t find it and hide it from ME. I need my before bed TV. And no, watching TV in the living room and then coming upstairs to bed is not an acceptable substitute.