When you are rushing around like mad trying to pack for something like, oh, a week-long business trip to New York City while juggling eleventyhundred things and then have your world implode in ALL ways right before you leave causing you to want to do nothing but cry, curl in the fetal position and throw chocolate at yourself?
You might want to look EXTRA HARD at the label on the box of BIKINI underwear you pick up at 2 am the night before you leave.
Because when you get to New York you MIGHT discover that instead of the bikini underwear you intended to buy, you ended up with underwear that is pretty much the equivalent of an eye patch and some dental floss.
AND THAT MIGHT END UP SUCKASUCKASUCKING FOR YOU.
Contrary to popular belief?
Teeny-eye-patch-heiny-floss-underwear IS NOT FOR EVERYONE.
Just so you know.
OH! Wear it under the tutu! Now that would be HAWT
I always sorta believed that people who claimed it was were lying in order to sound sexy.
I can think of way better things to lie about in order to sound sexy.
But better yet are the things I DON’T have to lie about in order to sound sexy.
And….eyepatch undies?
That’s a visual. No pun intended.
Please tell me you stopped at a Duane Reade or something to remedy the situation.
But why would you waste time on not wanting dental floss underwear when going Commando is an option. Just Sayin’ and while I have never actually gone there, I believe there is a store called La Pearla where appropriate garments may be found. Had I known…
So, what you’re saying is, the Mormons would not approve of this underwear, yes? ;)
I hear you. Undies creeping up in crevices where nothing should be allowed to creep up in… ahem… DO NOT make me feel sexy either.
Ah, so THAT explains the purple thong we found in the Hilton elevator on Saturday night! You just couldn’t take it anymore and ripped them right off, is that it?
HAHAHA yaaaaaaaaaay! I hadn’t seen “suckasuckasuck” in awhile. Made my day. Sorry about the heiny floss.
Eew. I hate it too.
BTW, so sad we didn’t get a pic together this year. And sad, too, that I only got to see you for a few seconds!
Haha had a little laugh.. Could imagine that would suck! ;-)
Hope you had a great time anyway! :p
At least you’re ready for the next pirates’ convention.
Though I suppose you’ll also need a parrot.
So be on the lookout.
I completely forgot my underwear on a recent out of town trip…I think I rather wear no undies than have to were eyepatch butt floss undies….I did however make my husband haul me to the nearest dept store to get my jockeys
Noted. Pirate undies a no.
Try wearing the same undies and wrapping a MAXI PAD around it. Talk about fun times.
But let’s look at the bright side of things…no lines.
My brother told me that when I hugged my dad after reading a poem at his retirement service in front of about 300 people (he was a minister) that my underwear lines were showing. Thanks. That’s a preacher’s kid for you.
Soooo, I hope it went well anyway. :)
And a funny story, maybe you don’t care, but what the heck. I’m sitting here with my three year old because she won’t go back to sleep and I can’t go to sleep (hubs out of town) and she is looking at the screen with me. Suddenly she says,”The bird, it winked! The bird, it winked!” I’m thinking she’s having a crazy dream, but no…she is watching the owl on your Savvy Source button or whatever, and sure enough. He blinks. Can someone put us to sleep please?
you mentioned them before – must be really annoying. What does hubs say about them?
HAHAHAHA..oh sorry…didn’t mean to laugh but that is totally something I would do.
Ouch! Got any pictures of your teeny-weeny-eye-patch-heiny-floss-underwear ??
Well, the underwear situation certainly didn’t dampen your enthusiasm at BlogHer! It was LOVELY to meet you (can’t believe it’s been over a week) and would love to get together the next time you’re passing through NYC… have a few ideas for Where Women Cook!