Matthew would be turning 7-years-old today.

This day is always bittersweet.

Other days are for mourning the fact that he isn’t here.

This day is for being happy that we got to have that sweet, redheaded little boy in our lives.

Because HE. WAS. AWESOME.

And we’re all better for him being here.

Even if it was for far, FAR too brief a time.

We usually spend the day as a family and do fun things.  We’ve taken to taking the boys to see two movies, letting them pick where and what we have for lunch and dinner.

Even though we have fun on the day, the days leading up to it are usually pretty tough on me.

This year has been a bit different.

I had a distraction.

A happy distraction.

Jonathan turned 34 on May 17th and Aaron had his 1st birthday on May 19th. After weeks of rain and cold weather and having to cancel it once, we FINALLY had a huge birthday BBQ  to celebrate their birthdays this weekend.

It was a very happy and busy day full of so many loved ones and so many good memories: Aaron standing on one foot because of the foreign feel of the grass, the smell of smoke from the grill and oil from the tikki torches, the lined wheel barrow piled with drinks and ice, roasting marshmallows on the fire pit, Jonathan giving Aaron his first piece of licorice, an impromptu kick ball game, laughing with friends,  hugs from grandparents, and of course, “THE BIRTHDAY CUPCAKE”.

Usually, I have a hard time in the days building up to Matthew’s birthday because oh, how I miss him, but having this celebration of the lives of my husband and little baby Butterlump really helped me this year.

I look at these photos and I smile and am so very thankful.

Since it has always hurt so that Matthew never had even one birthday, I worried I might have a hard time having this party.

Like it was trespassing on Matthew’s time.

But that isn’t what happened.

It felt good.

Warm and lovely and happy.

That time belonged to Aaron.

Just as it should be.

And today belongs to Matthew.

Just as it should be.

Happy birthday, Little Bug.

We will be thinking about how much we love you today.

Just like we do every day.

Always.

Forever.

I’ve mentioned before that I don’t think my legs are my best feature.

I’ve gone on record saying that I don’t wear skirts or dresses because of that fact.

(See reason above. Also add the fact that I HATE my legs touching with even MINUSCULE degrees of leg hair stubble.)

This past weekend I changed all of that. I was slated to speak at a blogging conference and since I have accepted a Twitter challenge to wear a dress to BlogHer in NYC in August, I thought it might be a good idea to test out the water to see how comfortable I am showing my gams before I’m around 3,000 of my peers.

So, my awesome friend Kim said we could go pick out some fabric that I liked and she would make me a couple of custom skirts to wear in Salt Lake this weekend.

And I did it.

I wore skirts.

I wore skirts that fell above my ankle.

In public.

I love how they turned out.

They are both beautiful and I like them for different reasons.

Mainly, I loved them because they made me feel pretty.

(And witty.)

(And gay.)

(But not Puerto Rican.)

(Which is a shame because if I WERE Puerto Rican I would look all loverly and tan and probably feel a lot less like “the unnactractive, non-glittery Cullen” when I expose my uber white limbs to the world.)

(Also, in further argument for wanting to be Puerto Rican, not being a member of The Cullen Clan would mean that I wouldn’t be subjected to having to watch Bella and Edward moon and oggle each other for eternity. So, I am totally down with that. )

(If you’re lost, you should really just rent West Side Story, dudes.)

(I can’t help you wrap your brain around my random tangents of weird, though.)

(You’re on your own delving into the bizarre tangle that is my mind.)

(Seriously, it’s like the bottom of a crochet basket where eleventyhundred kinds of yarn are all knotted and twisted up and there are random mismatched knitting needles stuck in here and there and bits of Dorito dust covering everything.)

(So good luck in there, people.)

(Although, if you’re not back in 2 hours, I WILL send a rescue team armed with chocolate. And possibly liquor.)

I think I am totally sold on wearing skirts. They are breezy and since I started waxing my legs and they feel smooth and silky most of the time, I don’t mind them at all.

LOVE them, in fact.

AND I THINK THEY ARE SO DANG CUTE!

The best thing about wearing skirts, though?

THIS:

AWESOME.

Now I just need some ruffle butt underwear to show off and I’m SET.

If you’d like more info on these skirts and how to have one made for you, go HERE.

TOTALLY worth it.

*Pssst!!! Have you entered my giveaway sponsored by Gain and BlogHer?Tell me who your perfect match is and be entered to win product by Gain and $100 Visa gift card! You have until THE END OF TODAY!!

Someone, not ME mind you,  but someone that is also 5’8 and a ravishing red-head that perpetually hangs out wearing pajama pants and looks an awful lot like me, has a head cold.

And THEY might be having an issue with their sense of smell because of that head cold.

And they MIGHT have decided to make some oatmeal for breakfast.

AND they might have also discovered that they were out of brown sugar so they used the regular ole’ granulated kind.

And they might have ALSO thought that their head cold was making everything taste really funky but decided to eat it all anyway because oatmeal is healthy n’ stuff.

(Unknown, 5’8, ravishing, red-headed pajama pant wearers might also have a BIT of a challenge regarding their diet and it suckasuckasucking in the ‘good for you’ department.)

And they might have also REALIZED after consuming all of said oatmeal that they not only used table salt instead of sugar, but that the milk poured on top of it expired 2 weeks ago and no one noticed because everyone left the house for a week and forgot to dump it out.

Man, I feel sorry (and fairly nauseated) for THAT chick.

WHOMEVER she may be.

:)

*Pssst!!! Have you entered my giveaway sponsored by Gain and BlogHer? Tell me who your perfect match is and be entered to win product by Gain and $100 Visa gift card! You have until June 3rd!