Everyone wants to tap this. For reals*.

“Yeah, I’ll totally go with you but only if we can go through the drive-thru window instead of parking to go in.”

“Why?”

“Well, for starters, it has been the longest day ever, I’m in desperate need of a shower, I have bed head and left over eye makeup, I’m barefoot, in polka-dot pajama pants and a ratty tshirt covered in baby barf and stained with the remains of meatloaf , potatoes and carrots that Butterlump decided was much more entertaining to use as objects to throw at his mother than to consume as a food product, I’m not wearing a bra, I apparently have the wrinkles of a 30-something with the break out pattern of a teenager and OH, YES…I have a cold sore the size of the city of Fargo on my lip and as everyone knows, nothing says “GET TO KNOW ME” like herpes.

“Uhh…drive-thru it is.”

“I thought you’d see it my way.”

“Word.”

* I don’t REALLY think that anyone would find my state at the moment attractive in the least.

** Although, I would not necessarily be totally surprised if someone out there went, “RAWR! HOT! LET’S GET IT ON RIGHT NOW, BABY!!!!” after reading this thing online.

***What? This is the Internet! It could happen, people!

****Ok, seriously? If I can find fans of stuff like THIS online I don’t think I’m being all THAT unrealistic.

P.S. My sincere apologies for subjecting you all to this piece of utterly egregious WRONG.

P.P.S. Cause seriously, EVERYONE knows that if Batman got knocked up Robin would TOTALLY be the father.

P.P.P.S. I should also probably apologize for combining asterisks and post scripts in one post.

P.P.P.P.S. Terrible of me, really.

P.P.P.P.P.S. On the other hand, I suppose since I managed to throw baby barf, herpes and mpreg fan fiction art at you in one post I suppose this is the least of everyone’s worries right now.

P.P.P.P.P.P.S. And hey, if Batman and Superman can co-parent, I have hope that my weird writing styles can co-exist in peace and harmony.

P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. Just be glad I’m not throwing in parenthesis at you as well!

(Because that would be wrong.)

(And obvious.)

(And screaming of, “OMG, LORALEE! YOU HAVE OVERUSED THIS RAMBLING-EXCESSIVE-POST-THOUGHT STYLE SO MUCH YOUR READERS ARE GOING TO START BLEEDING FROM THE EYES IF YOU DO IT ONE. MORE. FREAKING. TIME. WHETHER YOU ACTUALLY THINK LIKE THIS OR NOT.)

(I mean it COULD be seen as a terribly desperate move to shake things up and make something that is all trite and tired seem fresh and funny.)

(And I would feel very, very, horrible about doing something like that to you all.)

(Unless it worked.)

(THEN I would feel pretty damn awesome.)

(And repentant and contrite, of course.)

(But you know…mainly awesome.)

(Heh.)

:)