- The movie Sahara. Because it is a total given that Matthew McConaughey would be a “master explorer” looking for a civil war battle ship in the deserts of West Africa and end up saving a UN doctor (UN doctors that look like Penelope Cruz are common place in case you were wondering) from a ruthless dictator AND end up saving the planet from certain, toxic death while simultaneously discovering a vast fortune. (It was totally believable. I liked it better than Cats!).
- Facebook and its revolving door of never-ending-crashes-and-changes. (Really, is there any further explanation necessary?)
- My 10-year-old came in upset and fuming that, “Brother is tormenting me!!! He says I am a social outcast because I am on “Team Jacob” and I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!!!”. (I have never had one statement that has made me feel more like a success and failure as a parent simultaneously. Sigh.)
- I have FINALLY picked a side in one of the greatest and most heated debates of all time. Is it health care? No. Abortion? No. I have come to the absolute conclusion that the correct way to hang the toilet paper is with the end going over the top. I wavered for a little bit but I have now seen the error of my ways. Hanging down against the wall is just wrong. Unless you have cats and toddlers and are trying to prevent them from strewing it all over the floor as easily. I MAY give you a break in that instance, but only if you have tried the correct way FIRST.
- W…T…F!? is with ABC FAMILY channel? I was stuck in bed sick yesterday and for some unknown reason I ended up watching a marathon of The Secret Life of the American Teenager. I am no prude. I believe in sex education. I don’t mind sex education in schools (though if you are leaving it up to the schools to teach your kids about it you are not doing your job as a parent), and I am not overly strict on what my kids watch. But I would let my 14-year-old watch this OVER MY DEAD, COLD BODY.
I probably watched 7? episodes and I cannot remember ONE SCENE that was not ALL about sex. Sex, sex, sexity-sex. IT WAS ALL THAT CAME OUT OF EVERYONE’S MOUTHS. EVERY SINGLE EPISODE. (Well, there was ONE scene that took place in a courtroom regarding the custody of a baby born to a 15-year-old that might not have talked about it but the previous scene where two 16-year-olds are debating if it is illegal to video tape testimony because you promised to give the other person oral sex kinda made up for it.) It is all the so-called “Adults” talked about with their kids. (I could probably write about 5 paragraphs about that alone).
I am no prude but this show sucked and I am angered it is being marketed to my kid. It was like “Sex and the City goes to high school” only lamer and more unrealistic and with less-exiting shoes. I don’t care if you are the horniest teenager in the world, you OCCASIONALLY sneak in a conversation about oh, soccer practice or show choir rehearsal or shopping or SOMETHING BESIDES GETTING IT ON WITH THE ENTIRE HIGH SCHOOL.
They say it is all about “educating” kids about the consequences of sex but I utterly disagree. I saw no real light into the consequences of running around coupling with your entire circle of friends or having a teenage pregnancy occur from a one night stand at BAND CAMP (No. Not kidding. Band Camp. For reals.). It’s just a platform to endlessly (and I mean ENDLESSLY) talk about sex. It has no business being marketed to kids or on a channel with the label “family”. Just my 2-cents.
- Seriously, can YOU think of an explanation for this? Because I am at an utter loss.
So, what about you? Anything making you go, “Hmm…” (Or rant. Or use little symbols in place of very naughty words?)
Filed under: 
You are wrong. The only way to deal with TP is to get rid of the holders ALTOGETHER and hang hooks so the TP roll is placed on the hook. Yes you have to take it off / put it back on, but it is SO MUCH BETTER.
That is all…
My hubby and I watched that ridiculous show last night, too. I could NOT believe it!!!! I would NEVER in a million billion years let my kid watch it, but it was quite entertaining how horribly it was written and how un-humanlike the characters were. I’m sorry, but no 16 year old is going to talk about that with their parents… EVER!!!!!!!
Great post, by the way!
1) TP MUST go over, not under. This is not up for debate.
2) Do I get the ABC Family Channel? Must.Find.Out.
3) Yes, unexplainable.
I rant at people who have issues using the English language. Your/you’re, its/it’s (It’s MEANS IT IS, people!), to/too/two, you get the idea. I think severe mocking should be allowed for these transgressions. I’m not being ironic. I mean it. If I berate and humiliate you enough times, you’ll remember the difference between your and you’re. If not, we’ll all enjoy pointing and laughing at you.
Amen on the rant!
I’ve been wondering for a long time about ABC Family. Some months back they were showing POLTERGEIST of all things! WHAT about that movie screams, “This is really family-friendly!”
ABC needs to rethink their ‘Family’ channel name.
Actually..maybe ABC Family needs to rethink what they’re putting on their family channel.
(Sorry..hit the submit button before I finished typing.)
Over the top! YES! I am glad you have seen the way.
Team Jacob. Heh.
ABC Family is jacked up. I agree that show is not for kids. Nor is this new Pretty Little Liars they are advertising. I will admit that I watch Make It Or Break It on that channel and while I think it’s the mildest one, it’s still got teens talking about having sex.
I think shows like Secret Life and 16 and Pregnant think they are warning kids about the dangers of unprotected sex, but all they are really doing is glamorizing it and making it seem cool. Like hey if I get knocked up I can be on MTV!
I hate it. And I don’t even have kids.
And you’re right about the toilet paper. And the suckage that is Facebook.
I have not seen that particular show, but I agree that most of what is shown on that channel is inappropriate for families. We just want some AFV, people! My @#$%ing rant is about Woody Allen, old news, I know, but he is a child molester!! Why do people still respect him and want to make movies with him?? WHY?? He is a disgusting pervert. OK, all done now.
I’ll address the first point actually. You really must read Clive Cussler’s other books (he’s the one who wrote Sahara). The book is waaaay better than the movie & makes much more sense. Matthew McConaughey is not the best Dirk Pitt in my mind but hunky none the less. Start with the 1st Dirk Pitt book or read some of the Kurt Austin ones.
I’m all about TP being over the top. Could care less about Twilight series – haven’t read the books nor seen the movies.
ABC Family – don’t watch the channel but trust your take on it.
And the last….words fail me.
I am so glad you’ve seen the truth in the great toilet paper roll debate. Because, yes, obviously it needs to go over.
I mean, we’re suppose to live in a civilized society.
There are standards.
1. I totally agree with the comment made by Elizabeth…Clive Cussler novels are amazing and Matthew M sucked it as Dirk Pitt.
2. ABC Family is so messed up! What happened to Full House and Sabrina the Teenage Witch? I hate Secret Life and all that goes with it!
and that is all.
Okay, about the whole “Secret Life of the American Teenager” thing? Did you notice the revolving door of partners? First it’s one couple, then another, then a couple one night stands with random classmates, a few “I don’t wanna be a baby daddy!” flings with neighbors and on and on and ON. You’re right, it WAS “Sex & The City” for teenagers… Only with MORE SEX. Ugh… so, so, so, so WRONG. And I’m sorry, but I would think (or at least prefer to believe) that MOST American teenagers are more concerned with their upcoming math test/soccer game/prom planning committee meeting/impending driver’s test than they are about getting laid… at band camp. Just sayin’…
I totally agree about Secret Life! I started watching this show (because let’s face it, I’m a child of the 80′s and Molly Ringwald needs some support sometimes), and even after the first few disastrous episodes, I gave it a chance. I watched and watched and watched. Because yes they had whorey (real word) characters, but they also had good ones. But now even the good ones have just turned into great big over-sexualized teenagers.
Totally agree with you about the Secret Life. I have never watched it but the commercials are totally embarrassing when they come on during a show my 10-year-olds are watching and the teenage girl is holding up a pregnancy test stick! Argggghhhh!!!
I totally agree with you about ABC family. It’s more like ABC Trashy. Boo!
If that is his prom date, he totally blew it-not a corsage in sight! That is just wrong, man!
Yeah, ABC Family should have dropped the “Family” from their name a few years ago. There are some things I see on that channel that make ME blush (and that ain’t easy)!
So sorry your son is ostracised. Perhaps in the future he will understand why.
omg that picture had me rolling. definitely unexplainable.
oh, and definitely over top with the tp.
I am a TP under kind-of-girl. To each their own, I guess.
The picture also had me rolling. If I had some sort of drink it my mouth it surely would have been all over the monitor. Thanks for that laugh.
L
My kids were watching Toy Story on ABC Family the other night and they started showing previews for all of those teen shows and I was like WTF?! There is no way on this green earth my son is watching that channel. That’s just from the previews!!
My rant would just involve Summer TV programming all around. First of all, Nick Jr. is like gone. My daughter gets up the same time of day every day, Summer or not and all of the sudden her favorite shows aren’t on. Like toddlers just go stupid come Summer and want to watch Spongebob??
By mid-afternoon it’s pure idiocy on every channel, or it’s geared towards kids my son’s age and not my 3 y/o.
Then we move in to evening where it’s reality TV, re-runs, or more Spongebob.
This would all be no problem but it’s NOT ACTUALLY SUMMER in Wyoming yet!! It’s too cold for them to be outside before noon and that’s if it’s not raining and keeping them in all day. Being outside in the evenings is similar to being outside in the morning, it’s just too cold.
Thankfully she has her books, toys, etc… but she is one of those kids that likes to leave the TV on during the day and run past it every so often.
900 channels and it’s all junk. As I type this Spongebob is on and I am losing brain cells just because it’s on in the same room.
“Well you see officer, I’m a stand-in for the new James Bond/Head Waiter/Fred Astaire Bio movie being filmed over at the local five star hotel/tattoo parlor/formalwear shop, and we had a sewing/laceration stitching/bobbin racing emergency and all the company cars/golf carts/dune buggies were in use, so we hired/borrowed/hijacked this UPS truck, but didn’t realize the driver was ill/inebriated/dead at the time. So you can see how that might lead to driving that was unsafe/unpredictable/psychotically deranged but we certainly didn’t mean to run over that traffic cone/parking meter/show poodle. And as I’m really in a hurry so the director/producer/stylist doesn’t yell at me/fire me/make me look like Alice Cooper, I’d appreciate if you could just issue your warning/traffic ticket/arrest warrant so I can back to the set. Thanks ever so!”
i completely agree about that show! i am a seventh grade teacher and i’m disgusted that my students watch it. i’m seriously scared to death that some of my students will want to be just like the show.
Bill Frost on X96 called it “The Teen Whore Chanel.” Which is pretty true.
I COMPLETELY AGREE with you on the whole ABC Family thing. That show should NOT be aimed toward pre-teens or teens. The other “teen” show I am against is Degrassi on Teen Nick. I have not seen a whole show, but happened to be in the kitchen one Saturday morning when my 12yo was watching it. All I heard was something about the characters having sex and I immediately had her change the channel and tell her NEVER to watch that show again.
Like you said, I am no prude, but DUDE, seriously? Shows like that do NOT belong on family/teen channels.
I’m totally over the top. more ways than one.:)
Toilet paper should come out over the top. End of story.
I think dude made his tux, thats why he’s so excited about it.
The UPS truck etc.? not sure….
“I may look like a teenager, but in truth I have SUPER STRENGTH and I SAVE PEOPLE WITH FALLING HEMS. Thank goodness I could push that stupid UPS truck out of the way to get to that poor old lady whose skirt was unravelling. How embarassing for her!”
I HATE Abc Family – THANK YOU. I completely agree, I’m no prude either, but the shows (there are other shows that are awful/terrible/sexitysexsex that they push too. Whats the worst? You can be watching a clean show but the commercial breaks show you clips of these shows, so your 6 year old gets sucked in while watching “The Incredibles” to Greek, Secret Life, etc etc. They need to be stopped, because they are not family at all.
Hah, I agree with you strongly on the whole rant about the secret life of the american teenager.
The only point of Sahara (which I own and luff by the way) was two hours of Matthew looking all hott and sweaty. :)
I love that horrible horrible show. But I do agree with you. They say sex sooooooooooo much. I mean, yeah…I did it in H.S., but we sure as hell didn’t talk about with our parents, and we did have other ummm interests. I want to know when they’re gonna hit on drinking or drug us, heh!
So yeah, I would never let my kid watch that show. It teaches nothing. And if it’s all about teen pregnancy, where’s the damn baby? Why isn’t the mother at home looking all disheveled and stressed? How come she has so much time to do her girl version of Justin Bieber’s hair?????
I just stumbled my way across the interwebs to your site, and after reading this post, I know I will be back!!
-Over the top is the ONLY way the TP should be hung, ever.
-I think you pretty much got it covered with Secret Life (and most “kids” programming in general…have you seen what they’re rating as PG-13 these days?! Date Night was a super funny movie, but if I had a 13 year old and they saw it….not good. Not good at all.)
-I got nothing on explaining that one . Good luck. :-)
I am with you about Secret Life. The girls like that show (they are 13 and 10) but I sit right there with them telling them “If you act like this, if you have sex at that age it will be the last thing you do.” I have at least used it as a vehicle to open discussions about teenage sex.
Truth is, there is more sex on that show for stupid reasons than there was on Falcon Crest. Or was it Dallas?