Someone, not ME mind you, but someone that is also 5’8 and a ravishing red-head that perpetually hangs out wearing pajama pants and looks an awful lot like me, has a head cold.
And THEY might be having an issue with their sense of smell because of that head cold.
And they MIGHT have decided to make some oatmeal for breakfast.
AND they might have also discovered that they were out of brown sugar so they used the regular ole’ granulated kind.
And they might have ALSO thought that their head cold was making everything taste really funky but decided to eat it all anyway because oatmeal is healthy n’ stuff.
(Unknown, 5’8, ravishing, red-headed pajama pant wearers might also have a BIT of a challenge regarding their diet and it suckasuckasucking in the ‘good for you’ department.)
And they might have also REALIZED after consuming all of said oatmeal that they not only used table salt instead of sugar, but that the milk poured on top of it expired 2 weeks ago and no one noticed because everyone left the house for a week and forgot to dump it out.
Man, I feel sorry (and fairly nauseated) for THAT chick.
WHOMEVER she may be.
:)
*Pssst!!! Have you entered my giveaway sponsored by Gain and BlogHer? Tell me who your perfect match is and be entered to win product by Gain and $100 Visa gift card! You have until June 3rd!
Like they said in the commercial – “Don’t forget the Charmin.”
Ewww and Ugh. :( hope you feel better soon.
Ewww, that’s very yucky. I hope you, or should I say she, feels better soon :)
That can’t have tasted good. I have sympathy nausea for you just thinking about it
Do you know how to make yourself puke? Because I would advise you to do that about now.
Still cracking me up.
I once drank milk that was over 6 wks old. It wasn’t chunky. How that is even possible is beyond me. I survived but just thinking about it makes me shudder.
I feel for you.
Well, ick. I hope “she” recovers soon…
I can’t believe “she” ate it!!! Wow, determination is a woman isn’t it!!
M
I have done that very thing! Well…not put salt on the oatmeal, but I have drank a huge glass of milk, only to realize afterwards that it was bad. How could I not have known??? Apparently I guzzle stuff down without even thinking about the taste, only that I’m thirsty…I was pretty sick for a day or so.
Good luck!
Weren’t you terribly thirsty after that?
Calling yourself ravishing turned me off more than the fact you drank spoiled me. Yuck.
That was mean…and unnecessary.
…cuz you’re not ugly but ravishing is a big no.
O that poor poor girl! Give her my best.
ps. and tell her to try some “sugar in the raw” next time she has oatmeal, it’s sooo good.
pps. so is apple butter.
ppps. or toffee chips.
pppps. and half-n-half.
ppppps. has she tired “scottish oatmeal”? THE BEST EVER! Bob’s Red Mill makes it.
I feel bad for her too, but better her than me.
Ew. Sorry. Hope “she” feels better soon.
My husband called me tonight to tell me to throw away the loaf of bread I had in the cupboard. He apparently found one way in the back, made a sandwich for work, and when he had eaten about half of it, laid it down and saw the bread was covered in mold. Uck!
I hope you (or she – the ravishing red head, indeed) and my poor husband with the wife who doesn’t throw old bread away – feel better soon!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Oh, I mean wow, that really sucks. I feel badly for the ravishing redhead, whomever she is.
(heh heh heh heh heh)
I hope you didn’t find out how spoiled the milk was a few hours later. Sorry. (and some of us think you are ravishing)
I hope you are feeling better and didn’t spend the day staring at white porcelain.
It was so wonderful getting to meet and visit with you. I truly adore you and love reading your posts. You are an amazing, strong, and beautiful woman. After visiting with you, I started wanting to go to Blogher just so I could have the chance to get to know you better. Hopefully there will be other chances.
PS – I love the skirts Kim made you.
Please tell that ravishing red head the next time you see her, “ewwwwww.”
Is there such a thing as sympathy gag reflex and nauseated stomach (kind of like sympathetic pregnancy weight gain)? If so I’ve got it. Feel better soon (and lay off the salted, sour oatmeal).
Between the gagging and the laughing and the gagging, I can’t pin down what’s more classic, the mysterious red-head who should sound sexy but the head cold sorta kills it for the male readership, or the expired meal o’death that she prepared herself.
Ick! I hope she feels better really soon and doesn’t have a nasty reaction to the sour milk!
I just found this Blog through a friend of mine and I love it! Air Supply is the greatest music group ever! I enjoy your writing! oh…and feel better :)
oh jesus hell. i still remember the fated morning i made my beloved cup of coffee with sour milk (and realized i did so, of course, by taking a giant swig), and while i was making a new pot of coffee my kid had an EPIC blowout AND i got poop on my hands. like, UNDER THE FINGERNAILS.
ew ew ew. remembering the exact taste of sour milk right now. and feeling SUPER bad for, uh, your “friend”.
cheers!