How many of you actually HAVE a “Zombie plan”?

Because I am pretty sure my husband thinks I am the only one on the planet without one.

He just shakes his head woefully at me in disappointment and says I am screwed when the  un-dead start breaking in our door.

Also?

He refuses to include “saving-hottie-spouse-who-currently-has-no-Zombie-Plan-due-to-having-many-other-non-stupid-things-to-do-with-her-time” into HIS Zombie Plan.

Selfish bastard.

My little pat of butter is ONE today, people.

I cannot quite wrap my head around this.

It seems like just yesterday when I took this and announced I was FINALLY expecting.

Then the NEVER-ENDING-PREGNANCY full of illness, scariness, disappointment in gender, clotting disorders, needles, endless ultrasounds and stress tests and insurance hell.

But he was so cute, even in my tummy.

And even though I was so sick I could barely walk at the end, I was happy.

And then?

May 19th, 2009 came and the decision to induce was welcomed because I was NOT doing well. So, I was ready…and pretty dang hawt looking if you ask me.

Or, I was hawt UNTIL MORE HORRIFYING PAIN THEN A HUMAN SHOULD FEEL HAPPENED, THAT IS. (This photo is made even more charming by the “CENTRAL LAUNDRY” print on the gown, no? I look like I’ve broken out of the home, y’all. Also? The next time I try to go through NINE HOURS of INDUCED labor UN-MEDICATED to try and save two grand on an epidural? KICK ME IN THE HEAD.)

Then?

He was here in all his wee modesty.

And I felt more joy than I ever, EVER thought I would feel again.

Every single day has been a joy because of Aaron.

EVERY single one.

I could, and do, watch him for hours and hours and hours on end.

Staring at him is a favorite pastime of mine.

I meet this day with a bittersweet feeling.

How did he go from this?

To this?

SO FREAKING FAST???!!!!

His first year, my very favorite time in the lives of my children, is over.

And that makes me want to sob.

But?

He is still here.

Healthy.

Breathing.

ALIVE.

And no one, NO ONE will smile a brighter smile today than his mama because of that.

I love you, little one.

You are my heart–thank you for bringing so much joy and healing to it.