There is something you should know about my personality. I know this might shock you but I am emotionally driven and passionate as hell.
When I do something?
I DO IT.
Very little is half-assed about me. (Uh…except my ACTUAL ass. Dude. My pants fall down. It’s embarrassing. If anyone would like to be a living rear-end donor for me I will TOTALLY take you up on it.)
I burn fire hot. (This can be GOOD.)
I freeze frigid cold. (This can be NOT SO GOOD.)
I can change my mind and my mood faster than you can complete the sentence you’re speaking. (This can be GOOD AND BAD.)
And that, my friends?
Can happen happen in one syllable.
One flutter of an eyelid.
Or, you know…one case of identity theft and one discovery that the FRONT END OF MY CAR WAS MANGLED BY SOME COWARDLY HIT-AND-RUN PHUCKWAD.
It was too much for one 24-hour period for me.
I got through the phone calls and fear and pissed off GRRR! When I discovered my bank account was over drawn and the theft had occurred, but I could.not.take.my.car.
Not when I JUST GOT THE BODY WORK TOTALLY REDONE IN DECEMBER AFTER 2.5 MONTHS WITHOUT IT.
So…after proclaiming to all my Internet world that I was giving it up, I fell off the “Diet Coke Wagon”.
I am very honest with my short comings, when I fail, where I can improve, when the fault is mine. And I usually cop to them, as much as it makes me blush and feel stupid. (In case you are wondering? YES, I feel pretty stupid and my face is purple writing this). I thought I was ready and could do this but holy freaking COW was that an utterly brutal 36 hours. There was stuff that was just a cherry on top that I can’t go into online.
Diet Coke is one of my top coping mechanisms and well…I wasn’t far enough into the game that I could do it. (Or as my husband says, “didn’t WANT to do it.”.)
I totally failed.
I was TOTALLY half-assed.
I suck.
I suck.
Oh, and did I mention that I SUCK?
Only 2 days in and there I was, slurping down a 44 oz-er in my car like it was going to save and protect me from the very demons of hell. Or, at the least, a viewing of Twilight. (Sorry…not a fan.)
So, my plan now?
Get my credit fixed.
Get my car fixed.
Warily eye the Diet Coke thing again.
I know I let a lot of people down and I am not only embarrassed, but I’m sorry.
I’ve already gotten the “I am so disappointed in you” lecture from Jon (and way more “I’m praying for you emails” of the snooty kind) and both of those suck, so…
Yeah.
Sorry.
:(
Loralee!
It’s not crack-cocaine, it’s not alcohol. Your family is not in danger, nor is your livelihood. It’s okay (and the fact that people are sending you prayer filled emails for you over drinking diet coke worries me a little. Not for you, but for what version of the world these people live in that your diet coke habit is their top concern).
Be gentler to yourself. It’s okay if you can’t quit immediately. It’s okay if you stumble a few times. There’s absolutely nothing here to be embarrassed about. The fact that after you had your identity stolen and your car hit that all you did was drink a diet coke is pretty impressive to me.
Try tapering down the diet coke. Cold turkey is not only hard, but the caffeine withdrawal is bad on your body too.
Be nice to my friend. She’s doing the best she can.
Yeah – it’s pretty ridiculous to pray for someone over diet coke. Diet coke will not drive you into insane rages or make you leave your kids somewhere or drive you into bankruptcy. I mean, if they wanna pray that you are successful in whatever you choose to do, that’s very nice, but to pray for you in your horrible, desperate addiction to uh, soda pop. Come on! I know it’s not great for you, but geeze.
Go slower, don’t beat yourself up over it – it’ll only make you want it more!
Blessings – find your happy medium!
Well, it was in response to a comment in my original thread. I think I got added to an email prayer list or something.
It hurts my head.
What she said ! It’s diet coke, not diet crack…..and yanno what else ? Whatever gets you through the day. : )
Sorry if that came across harshly. I’m not trying to minimize your concerns. Just make you feel better about them. Sorry if I made it worse!
you did not fail. you just realised that this is not the time to quit. you can try again next week, and in the meantime, chug away guilt free.
After all that crap, I don’t blame you.
In the past when I’ve tried to quit smoking I’ve been told that you don’t beat yourself up for the ones that you do have but praise yourself for the ones that you don’t. If you’re going to do it, pick yourself up again tomorrow and leave the dc behind. OK, so you blew it today, no biggie, you didn’t have one for 2 days. Tomorrow, start on going for three. You can do it!
I too have a major diet coke addiction. I prefer it in the half-flat postmix type you get at the movies (easier to drink it faster lol). I drank it in similar levels to you and I am in the process of giving it up. Here’s what I did first: on Wednesdays and weekends, I was allowed to drink diet coke. It meant I only had to go two full days without any which is much more managable. See if you can do that when you’re ready to try again.
I just read the post about the Diet Coke addiction. I’m SO PROUD of you for trying – I am a BIG opponent of Diet anything. I know you say you don’t really feel different when you are off the DC but I think you have youth on your side and in a few years (less than 5) you are going to REALLY begin to feel the effects of your DC consumption. My guess you would see yourself drinking more every week just to feel normal.
My husband used to have a problem with DC too, he was at his 15-20 lighter but looked ghostly thin. I think you look great with a booty! I hope you’ll be able to add it back (IN MODERATION) maybe 1 a week so you can see what it feels like to have a normal relationship with soda.
GOOD LUCK – and sorry about the car and the identity theft CHEESE and RICE its like a bad joke! ACK!
Oh Sweetie! After all of the horrid shenanigans that have happened to you over the last two days, returning to the familiar comfort if Diet Coke is a very small thing to do.
*Gets Up On The Soapbox*
Please don’t be so hard on yourself, Loralee, and take the wonderful advice of Ms. Katie (The Overflowing Brain): taper down. Your body is so very used to the Diet Coke (and so is your emotional balance) that cold turkey will be too hard on both your body and your spirit. Be kind to yourself, sweetie– and “Shushh” all those who give the “I’m so disappointed in you” speech (even if you have to do it in your head).
*Gets Down From Soapbox*
Hugs from The Minx
Loralee, I am so sorry about your car and your identity theft problem! That would have sent me on a chocolate binge for sure!!!
I love Diet Pepsi, Wild Cherry flavor. I try to limit myself to one can a day, and drink ice water after that.
Sending you a HUGE hug, and best wishes.
drink the coke woman, dont feel guilty, you owe us NOTHING!!!! it sucks ass that some asshat not only hit your car but to not hold yourself accountable for it…..gahhhhh, what a friggin loser!!!! better yet, i think ill have a coke for ya. your a doll! things will get better. keep on truckin.
xoxo
Oh for heaven’s sake! Praying over Diet Coke drinking or not, sheesh. There is nothing to be ashamed of after all that happened the past week. No need to apologize or beat yourself up over it!! Quitting any addiction is difficult & all the “experts” say that during times of emotional upheaval (spelling??) is not the time to try to quit. And that is exactly what this week has been for you though abso-frickin-lutely no fault of your own!! If it makes you feel better, then you are forgiven. :)
Hey girl! May I suggest going over to caffeine free Diet Coke first for a few months and then weaning off it altogether? I think that you might be addicted to the caffeine more than the aspartame, but trying to stop both cold turkey at once might be a little too much for you.
You KNOW how I feel about my Diet DP so, GIRL, do I ever feel ya on this one! I’m planning on quitting carbonated drinks about a month before my AGB surgery. *Planning* LOL
And you know what, this is YOUR life…yes I get that you want to be accountable to the people that read your blog, but you’ve got to be accountable to YOU first and YOU know what you can handle. One Diet Coke in two days is pretty damn good! Focus on all the diet cokes that you DIDN’T drink this week. I’m proud of you. Keep your chin up…quitting is hard!
Guess what, you don’t have to be perfect. Quitting is hard and may take some time, cut yourself some slack! You’ve identified that you don’t have other coping skills at hand yet, so look at developing those other skills and try again.
Good grief. Give yourself a break. So what? You fell off the wagon. You can try it again. Don’t be so hard on yourself. I have to agree, it isn’t like you are a stoner or an alcoholic. You happen to like diet coke and right now isn’t the time to give it. up. Not trying to enable you, but it is OK!
Hugs to you. Now, go buy a 44 oz. and call me in the morning.
I was going to post a scathing comment about how perhaps the world would be a better place if folks prayed for peace and understanding versus somebody’s personal struggle, but then realized it might be construed as me being critical of you, so all I’m gonna say now is…good luck to you, lady. You’ve had a sucky couple of days and I hope things get better double quick.
Whoa – I think I’ve missed something. When you say Diet Coke… have you been referring to cocaine? Because I am a relatively new reader, so I didn’t pick up on that at all! As I actually cannot conceive of someone snootily saying they’ll pray for you over soda, I’ll assume my revelation is correct.
And I’d like you to know I’m praying for you – those alkaloids can be hard to kick.
Unless cocaine comes in the gianormous cups from the 7-Eleven, I believe Loralee is actually, in fact, addicted to DIET COKE. Your relevation is not correct! ;)
I’ve got your back, Loralee!!! ;)
In my next life, I want to marry a woman Just. Like. You. Not that I don’t love the one I have – SWMBO (although, I have to call her Love Muffin now because She Who Must Be Obeyed, as an appellation, has worn out its welcome) is amazing. I just want to change it up a bit. you know. Go for the gusto.
I wish you could be less hard on yourself over falling off the wagon. Especially with the stress of the identity hack and the hit & run, its understandable you would turn to your favorite soother to help you cope. I’m praying for you too – not about kicking the Diet Coke habit, but for the stress to ease and for something good to be right around the corner. After this week I think you need a break!
Look at the bright side…you didn’t fall off the “killing people” wagon…just the “diet coke overload” wagon :)
That’s sooooooo much easier to overcome – not to mention a lot less jail time!
Why does the universe throw so much crap one’s way when one is trying to make a positive change? It took me 3 attempts to quit smoking and each time it felt like the universe was conspiring to bring about my failure. Hope you get things settled soon and feel ready to try again. In the meantime, don’t sweat it! At least it isn’t something HORRIBLE for you like smoking!
honey, I truly think that the Diet Coke helped with your stress, so don’t stress yourself out about ‘falling off the wagon’ You had a helluva lot of stuff happen over a short period. I also agree with the other commenter who said to cut back if you want to get back on the wagon.
You CAN do it. But if you don’t do it RIGHT now it will be OKAY!!
xo
I’m with you, Diet Coke is the fix all and sometimes it’s the only thing in the world that can make everything better. Shit, it could be worse, you could popping pain pills or shooting whiskey. I think you are fine and I am not at all disappointed.
Oh, my, Loralee! I am so sorry you are going through all of this! And…I know you wanted to “lick” this diet coke thing, but my thinking is “big deal” (I know it’s a big deal to you, but in the grand scheme of things…)and at least you don’t have worse addictions, you know? A week like that would drive anyone over the edge…a recovering alcoholic to drink or a recovering drug addict to shoot up. You are merely drinking diet coke. I understand your frustration with yourself (I deal EVERY DAY with wanting to eat more than I should or foods that I shouldn’t and kicking myself at the end of the day because I succumb to the temptation). But it’s diet coke not heroine. You are having a hell of a week. It’s okay. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You WILL do it. Now just wasn’t the time! Get past these extremely stressful situations and I know you’ll kick it with flying colors! ;)
Okay, deep breath. It’s fine. You’re fine. Are people so disappointed in you and praying for you because you didn’t make it on this one attempt to give up Diet Coke? They need to back off.
I’m going to tell you something my therapist tells me ALL THE TIME (full disclosure: I never listen and suck at this myself, but it IS good advice): Give Yourself Some Credit. You just had a lot of stuff hit you in a 24 hour period, during a time of year that is hard for you under the best of circumstances. You didn’t crash and burn into a usless pile of goo, you didn’t run away from everything, and you didn’t hurt yourself or anyone. You chose a coping mechanisim that, while not something you want to stick to in the long run, isn’t dangerous to you or anyone around you, and it allowed you to keep dealing with all that is going on around you and to work on getting your credit straightened out and your car fixed, etc etc etc. Give Yourself Some Credit. Sometimes pausing the pursuit of a particular goal for the current greater good is the best choice.
It wasn’t a failure. You did what you did to give yourself the strength to get through a chaotic couple of days. You can try again after this is all a bit more settled. You don’t have to do everything perfect on the first try, and that’s fine.
You’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and gosh darn-it…people like you. ;) You’re good people. Don’t sweat it.
Wow…YOU should be a therapist because that advice is GREAT! I will be promptly applying it to my own life starting NOW!
Well Holy Crap I Say!!
Identity theft = All Bets Are Off!
Car Smashed in the same week = All Bets Are Off the next time too!!
WTF People, It’s Diet Coke ~ Seriously?
Praying for you over diet coke?? Send those emails to your spam folder!
Hey, it’s DIET COKE, not meth. If you were a smoker trying to quit and all that stuff happened to you, I’d be bummed if you started smoking again, but you know what? I would totally understand. You’ll quit when and IF you’re ready.
xxoo
Look at it this way: You Are Not A Quitter! Which means you rock when it comes to persistence in getting things done. OK, so we’re all rationalizing for you – and I am disappointed about the Diet Coke. Diet Dr. Pepper is totally where it’s at. Just ask me, the one with a 60-oz-a-day habit.
Hang in there.
I don’t think you should feel like you need to apologize to ANYONE. You’re not trying to quit coffee after all – it’s Diet Coke. DIET COKE is like that boy who was bad for you and yet you always went back for more (and by you, I mean me).
I’ve tried quitting Diet Coke a million times, but it’s just too good, and it puts me in my happy place, and so what if it’s giving me an ulcer. My mother gives me an ulcer, and I’m not quitting her any time soon. (Because she won’t let me).
Instead of quitting, just cut down. I used to drink a Super Big Gulp daily (if not two), but I quit that (mainly because the 7/11 closed down in my town – that was a sad day).
Good Luck!
Tell them all to suck it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPw-3e_pzqU
MWUHAHAHAHA. Resistance is futile…DC is you new overlord.
Seriously….it’s carbonated brown goodness. Everyone needs a crutch now and then. And hey…it’s cheaper than meth.
Loralee,
You do not suck. You don’t have to apologize. We ALL have our own shortcomings, or things we could improve, things we could eat/drink/do less of. Whoever says they don’t is lying through their eye teeth.
An addiction to Diet Coke may be unhealthy, but it’s not like you are on heroin, or meth, or something equally destructive. You didn’t let me down at all. In fact, I’m not sure if I were in your shoes, I could be as brutally honest about it as you are.
Nothing to be embarrassed about with me-I get it, and I love you even more now. But HEY, you gotta give yourself a break. It was a hard week!
Lots of hugs!
Oh for the love of all things it is not a big deal. It is not cause for disappointment. IT’S FREACKING DIET COKE. You’ll get back to it. Whatever. Do you know how many times most smokers try to quit? I know it took me 5 or 6 times.
Go a bit easier on yourself. I love that you are taking it so seriously that you’re this upset about it, because that means that you’re not messing around and it is important to you. But there’s a lot to be said for setting yourself up for success vs setting yourself up for failure. Stack the deck in your favor and try again when you’re ready.
My husband?
Is pretty dang disappointed in me right now.
So, ya know…
I’d be surprised if you didn’t go back to Diet Coke after having not one but two shitty things happen – you wouldn’t be human if you didn’t. Please don’t beat yourself up over it. You gotta do what you gotta do! Hope everything gets sorted soon.
At least maybe you could use reusable drinking vessels? Like a Nalgene bottle or maybe one of those 68oz huge thermos things you can get at the gas stations (the construction dudes use them)? I just can’t stand seeing all those cups and styrofoam containers all around!
It’s not so bad. At least it isn’t drugs or alcohol! ;)
Girl, that is a lot of stuff to happen at the same time you are giving up liquid goodness. I understand giving in and having one.
hmmmmm, my mom used to say “don’t sweat the small stuff”….or was it “don’t pet the sweaty stuff”….huh, can’t remember now. :) the Diet coke is the small stuff, but oh such big greatness. If it is your one little happy place when the rest of life if laughing at you, well then so be it! Enjoy!!!!! Excuse me while I go grab a new can for myself.
Oh that my dear is really a brutal couple of days. And I don’t think anyone is going hassle you about some Diet Coke…seriously. Here’s what I think…you should have an emergency loop hole…. I know it is kinda half assed but stuff happens ya know?. Just make it be some normal size of Diet Coke and not a half gallon and you can still feel ok about it.
You know, it’s called an addiction because you’re an addict. It’s not easy to quit. So with the stress you’ve been under, it’s completely normal that you’d go back to familiar territory. Heck, day 3 is one of the toughest when it comes to caffeine. You would typically get nasty headaches, on top of the one you likely already had from the identity theft and car issues. Sheesh.
Your husband is disappointed, no doubt, because he loves his wife and he wanted to see you succeed. Just tell him that you will try again. And next time maybe you’ll make it 3 days, or 4. As someone suggested, if you can make it 2-3 days off DC, and one day on for a while, you might be able to make some progress but not torture yourself so much. Or, allow yourself 12oz per day, and a bonus 12oz one day a week. That would still be a huge change from what you’re having now.
As for the people praying for you…people, please don’t be so hard on others! People pray for all sorts of things. I wouldn’t take it so negatively. You said you had an unhealthy relationship with DC and wanted to change. It’s totally normal for someone to pray for God to help you make that change in your life. It doesn’t mean they’re looking down on you or think that your change is more important that someone else’s alcohol or drug addiction. The point is that you wanted help…and for many religious people, that’s how they help.
I’m doing a professional certification tomorrow, and my bible study group is praying that I pass, not because they or I think I won’t, but because that’s one of the ways we support each other.
I know you’re not actively participating in a formal religion right now, so if I were praying for you (and it hadn’t occured to me to do so), I wouldn’t tell you or make a big deal about it, I’d just do it. But I suppose some people thought you’d like to know they care enough to support you in that way. So please take it in the spirit in which it was offered.
Congratulations again on making it two amazing days without Diet Coke. I know you can do it again!
Thanks so much for the comment.
The spirit these people offered it to me was utterly smug, judgmental as hell, condescending and anything BUT Christ-like, IMO.
I never mind true, compassionate prayers.
This?
Was barf inducing.
I’m writing a post about it for clarification as the entire thing is baffling to me.
Well, I’m utterly disappointed that my faith in the human spirit was let down. In the New Testament, Paul says in Romans that when we accuse others, we need to stop and recognize that we ourselves are guilty – even more so than those we accuse.
I suppose I should now pray that God helps these people find meaning in their bible verses that helps them pray for others out of love, and not in judgement.
Our pastor says that when you point one finger at someone, there are three fingers pointing right back at you: the father, the son, and the holy spirit, convicting you of the sins you say you see in others.
Anyway, I’m glad to see so much support for you on here. You will kick the habit, when you’re ready, and when life is ready. In the meantime, just take care of you!
Anyone who sends you an email, or a comment telling you that they are dissapointed in you for not being able to quit Diet Coke needs to fuck off.
Or get a life.
Probably both.
If you manage to quit Diet Coke, then good for you.
If it takes you a while, and you have bumps in the road, or maybe you decide not to quit but maybe cut back?
Then good for you.
No seriously send those emails my way and I’ll answer them for you.
Like this, “Dear so and so, SHUT THE FUCK UP.”
xoxoxoxo. I’m lifting my (formerly not in my diet) diet mt dew. It’s back for a little while, because I NEEEEDDDSSS it.
And I’ll give it up one day again. Just like you.
Be kind to you.
Ditto what every one else has already said.
And I think trying to taper off/cut back is a much better approach then cold turkey. The lady who said she drank it only on Weds. and the weekends, that sounds like a great idea!
If at first you don’t succeed…. :)
I’m not disappointed in you at all!!! I think that your reaction to all of that shit was perfectly reasonable.
*kicks Jon in the pants for giving you that lecture instead of encouraging you to just try again after these situations became less harrowing*
You can and you will defeat the Diet Coke. Soon. But, seriously, you have a perfectly legitimate excuse for delaying for a week or so.
*hugs*
Girl, if all you do after all that is fall off your just-boarded no soda wagon, I would say you are more disciplined than most.
If I were you, I would probably be breaking the law right now by tracking down the identity thief and posting all his personal information on the internet alongside his most embarrassing baby photos. Or something. (You think I’m joking, but I once ran after a crazed crackhead teenager twice my size for five blocks after he snatched my purse. I get . . . angry . . . when people steal things from me.)
Ummm…you had a lot on your plate. Don’t beat yourself up! I would have fallen off the wagon after just the identity theft! You had more than just that added. Don’t be too disappointed and hopefully the hubby will come around and see that when you are trying to give up a loved item and dealing with crap at the same time…sometimes just dealing with the crap is enough.
I totally get where you’re coming from… I gave up pop for months and months, and then I tripped and fell in a marathon. Had to get taken to the hospital for stitches, the day was a clusterf*&# and the moment I walked out of the hospital I went straight to get the biggest Diet Coke I could find and I haven’t looked back since. I guess I could have more dangerous coping mechanisms (oh wait… I do!) but at least the diet soft drink one isn’t as bad as some.
I’ve had similiar hang-ups and it seems every time I try to quit one something would go horribly wrong – to the point I would just have to laugh about it and I now expect it. I would tell friends that I’m starting a diet or a new budget or anything and inevitably my car breaks down, fruit will suddenly make me incredibly nauseous, I’ll get the stomach flu, the IRS wants 10k .. . etc. It happens. Life happens. The important thing is you are trying. (that’s what I have to tell myself all the time.)
P.S. – I’m SO not saying that identity theft or hit-and-runs are funny, (I’ve been hit with both, and, yeah, NOT FUNNY), but sometimes the timing of it all just makes me laugh.
The End.
I am soo sorry. I wouldnt blame you if you took a bath in Diet Coke at this point.
Don’t be so hard on yourself! You had some serious stress! When you’re ready, climb back up on that horse and give it another go. Hang in there!!
None of your readers actually care if you drink Diet Coke or not. Your husband would probably prefer you drink le$$ for $everal reasons, your health actually being the main one though lol :)
Husbands can be awesome like that!