There is something you should know about my personality. I know this might shock you but I am emotionally driven and passionate as hell.
When I do something?
I DO IT.
Very little is half-assed about me. (Uh…except my ACTUAL ass. Dude. My pants fall down. It’s embarrassing. If anyone would like to be a living rear-end donor for me I will TOTALLY take you up on it.)
I burn fire hot. (This can be GOOD.)
I freeze frigid cold. (This can be NOT SO GOOD.)
I can change my mind and my mood faster than you can complete the sentence you’re speaking. (This can be GOOD AND BAD.)
And that, my friends?
Can happen happen in one syllable.
One flutter of an eyelid.
Or, you know…one case of identity theft and one discovery that the FRONT END OF MY CAR WAS MANGLED BY SOME COWARDLY HIT-AND-RUN PHUCKWAD.
It was too much for one 24-hour period for me.
I got through the phone calls and fear and pissed off GRRR! When I discovered my bank account was over drawn and the theft had occurred, but I could.not.take.my.car.
Not when I JUST GOT THE BODY WORK TOTALLY REDONE IN DECEMBER AFTER 2.5 MONTHS WITHOUT IT.
So…after proclaiming to all my Internet world that I was giving it up, I fell off the “Diet Coke Wagon”.
I am very honest with my short comings, when I fail, where I can improve, when the fault is mine. And I usually cop to them, as much as it makes me blush and feel stupid. (In case you are wondering? YES, I feel pretty stupid and my face is purple writing this). I thought I was ready and could do this but holy freaking COW was that an utterly brutal 36 hours. There was stuff that was just a cherry on top that I can’t go into online.
Diet Coke is one of my top coping mechanisms and well…I wasn’t far enough into the game that I could do it. (Or as my husband says, “didn’t WANT to do it.”.)
I totally failed.
I was TOTALLY half-assed.
Oh, and did I mention that I SUCK?
Only 2 days in and there I was, slurping down a 44 oz-er in my car like it was going to save and protect me from the very demons of hell. Or, at the least, a viewing of Twilight. (Sorry…not a fan.)
So, my plan now?
Get my credit fixed.
Get my car fixed.
Warily eye the Diet Coke thing again.
I know I let a lot of people down and I am not only embarrassed, but I’m sorry.
I’ve already gotten the “I am so disappointed in you” lecture from Jon (and way more “I’m praying for you emails” of the snooty kind) and both of those suck, so…