I think God blessed me with some really beautiful attributes. My hair doesn’t suck, I have an almost perfect smile, my lips are great, and I have a long neck, nice shoulders and back, have been told my eyes are total winners, and until I hit 35 and my skin decided to FREAK THE HECK OUT ON ME AND BREAK OUT EVERY OTHER DAY I SWEAR-my complexion rocked.
There is a whole lot to be grateful for in my physical make up.
I’m blessed.
Just not in the leg department.
There are things I do not like about my physical appearance.
My nose was severely broken when I was 12 and the way they “fixed” it (or didn’t) pains me occasionally. I have super saggy underarms from huge weight loss and…the thought of showing my legs to the world makes me want to hyperventilate.
And I AM hyperventilating because that is exactly what I am going to do today.
I bought a swimsuit, see.
Until yesterday it had been TWELVE YEARS since I purchased a swimsuit for myself.
I bought this one in 1998 before going to sing in Hawaii with the Honolulu symphony.
And I haven’t purchased one since.
Why?
Well, for one, I am not a huge fan of the water.
And for another…I nearly died in 1999.
Three weeks after delivering my second son I developed a massive blood clot in my abdomen and it went down my entire leg. When they admitted me to the hospital my leg was the size of both of my legs put together and it was dark purple.
I was very sick.
For a very long time.
I was diagnosed with a clotting disorder and I pulled through and got better. But that leg has never come close to looking normal again because my circulatory system is totally damaged now. My skin still looks slightly purple and my left leg is much more swollen and the veins more visible than in my right leg.
And my legs were not so hot BEFORE the clot, dudes.
I’ve never had smooth looking skin, I bruise easily and don’t tan, I have cankles and bowed legs. Also, it is damn near impossible for me to develop muscle mass. Add that to pain when I do it and disliking it in general it’s just hard to get too motivated about working out*.
I was very heavy for a lot of my life and so I have stretch marks everywhere on them. Like I mentioned, I had a huge weight loss and that makes the skin on my thighs saggy (which is AWESOME). AND DEAR ALL THAT IS HOLY ON THE EARTH ARE THEY FLABBY.
For reals.
Pinky swear.
Trust me on this.
One of my friends that is the kindest soul on earth saw my legs in the dressing room and pretty much agreed with me that they are probably better not overly seen.
So, yeah.
It’s why I don’t wear skirts or dresses often and why when I do, they almost always touch the floor. It’s why pants are my friends and why if I HAVE to wear a skirt that shows my gams I swear by fishnet tights and my stretchy leather boots (No zip ups will fit that leg of mine, friends.).
I love my fish nets and stretchy boots. They saved me during the Halloween when Jon and I went as “Dog and Beth: Bounty Hunters”
Because of my size 10 feet, cankles and swelling, I do not do heels or strappy ANYTHING.
And I DO NOT DO SWIMSUITS.
Until now.
A funny, non-serious conversation on Facebook asking me to post photos of myself in my bathing suit and someone said something like the chances of that were nil because “Loralee hates her legs”.
Dude.
I obviously talk about and it bothers me way too much if it is something someone that met me online can plop down like that in the blink of an eye.
It also led to an intense discussion off line about my leg issues and women and their insecurities in general and well…I am tired of being uncomfortable in my own skin.
I want to be able to take my kids swimming and actually participate.
I want to wear a breezy skirt or shorts in the summer so I don’t roast and die in the heat.
I’d like to wear a dress to the cocktail parties at BlogHer.
So…I decided to confront this train head on and try to get over it.
So, I’m posting untouched photos that were taken (in about 10 minutes) by my fabulous photographer friend, Brigitte. (She does ALL my pretty photography, people. If you live in Cache Valley GET THEE TO THE MALL TO HER NEW STUDIO, “Smiles”!!! See that, Bridgy! I love you! EVEN THOUGH YOU SAID I HAD WHITE, HAIRY HE-LEGS!!! (Or whatever.) (Ok, I may be slightly exaggerating what she said.) (A little bit.) (Maybe.)
I only had her take them because I was a: having trouble taking them and b: the flash made them look unrealistically good. (The one and ONLY time I would complain about that problem. Heh.)
I’m sure the experience was awesome for her.
To make it better?
I am scheduled to have my lower legs waxed on Friday so I am seriously all sorts of Yetti-awesome-hawtness right now.
Enough excuses.
Let’s get on with it, shall we?
This is my suit. The pretty part. The part I am totally ok showing despite a 4-baby tummy and flappy underarms.
AND…
When you have a talented photographer as a friend, she can even tell you how to sit so your legs look pretty good–cankles and edema and dimply skin and all: (HOLY COW MY HAIR IS RED IN THE FULL SUN. It’s like I rounded up Little Orphan Annie and Ronald McDonald and bitchslapped them into a bottle of hair dye. Hee!)
Now let’s look a WEE bit closer (but still not a bad photo. I’m dipping my toe in here gradually, people. We will not even GO INTO THE ISSUES I HAVE WITH MY HEINEY OR THAT IT IS FLAT AS A PANCAKE. My pants fall down. It’s embarrassing.):
And closer:
AND CLOSER. (My husband nixed any really horrible photos he felt were worse because of a bad angle or lighting and didn’t think photos showing my upper thigh sag was wise. And I am utterly OK WITH THAT. Still you get a bit of it here)::
And as much as I do not dig cellulite, I know many of us have it so this doesn’t even bother me, overly. (Plus, when you’ve been 300 lbs, it is not too hard to be thankful for what you have in a lot of cases.)
But my calves and ankles make me very self-conscious.
Just as a comparison, I’ll show you my leg and cankles compared with Brigitte’s beautiful, smooth-skinned legs. If only to torture you all with the MAN HAIR THAT I HAVE ON THEM. Hey, it hurts me more than it hurts you. I am the one who has to live with channeling Chewbacca until Friday. (TGIF will NEVER have been so sweet to my ears, people.)
I know I cannot make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear, people. My legs are never going to be a feature on my “good” list but I can try to be better about it and just love them for the fact that they get me where I go and that I can walk around on them.
Right?
Plus, they have looked a WHOLE LOT WORSE THAN THEY DO NOW. I realized that when I looked at these photos. But you have got to understand how bad they looked for how long. People with medical training would tell me to go to the ER when they saw me if I exposed them because it well…looked like I had a blood clot in my leg.
I’ve been used to thinking about them a certain way in my head and I need to adjust my mindset.
Issues. I, uh…have them?
;P
So, I am just going to (really, really try to) be grateful for what I have.
Thanks for holding my hand through this, y’all.
I am really just left with one question.
Do you think that stretchy boots would work with my swimsuit????
:)
* I know the apperence of my legs would improve with a regular work out. I know I can’t overly bitch about something if I am not pulling my weight and trying to fix it, so… I’m giving it (yet another) go starting May 10th. Me and a a trainer at Gold’s Gym. Whee. I’ll let you know how it goes. Maybe I’ll actually have an ass by BlogHer, who knows??? :)
Not bad at all, Sugarplum!! Hawt momma. I have leg issues too (due to a motorcycle accident when I was 13 and several post operative repairs at 16 and 18) AND I have size 10 feet, so I feel you! Woo hoo to the brave and accepting! I am so proud (geez, now I sound like your momma ((which I guess I could be, but barely)) – not what I was going for).
Annnnnyway, you look FANTASTIC DAHLING.
I belong to the “haven’t bought a swimsuit in how long”? club too. Good on you for getting the brave on life is way too short to let body parts hold us back. You rock that suit this summer but don’t go and get sunburned !!
You are the bravest person I know! I wouldn’t be able to post a picture of myself in a swimsuit and I don’t have even 1/2 the reasons for feeling subconscious that you do. (Not to say that you don’t look great, ’cause you do – but that I recognize that you have reasons to feel the way you do.) I bought a swimsuit last year for the first time in 7 years… and now it doesn’t fit because I finally lost the extra 20 lbs I was carrying around over the summer. Which means that either a) I don’t wear another one for ANOTHER 7 years… OR I have to go through the trauma of buying another one now. BLEH.
ANYWHO: You look great, you’re amazingly brave and you KNOW I heart you.
Hmm, I’d take your legs over mine any day. Look, one day, when you’re old and wrinkly with spider veins and paper-thin skin up the yin yang, you’re gonna look back at those photos and say, damn, I had nice legs. What I wouldn’t give to show those sexy ladies off now. So I think it’s good that you’re trying to coax yourself into that direction now.
Honestly, dude. Your legs look better than mine. For starters, I am about 40 lbs heavier than you and I accumulate my weight in my bum/hips/thighs. I also have cankles and a zillion stretchmarks. Lying on the sand next to my slim friends I feel like a beached whale.
On the other hand, I decided a few years ago, fuck it. I will not be self-conscious about it. I will wear what makes me happy (which is not always what flatters me the most). I am done hiding and pretending like not having legs as beutiful as those of others is in any way shameful. I will be grateful for the fact that my pins are long, and that despite years of arthritis they have carried me around faithfully.
And if I do get my ass in gear and work out those babies like they deserve, then good for me. But if not I will still be out there in a bikini like I own the beach.
I just realised that I am happy to feel bad about my actions, because there is something I can learn from that, but my legs? What can I learn about that except that in some ways I am worth less because I am not as hawt as someone with slender pins (a problem common to many women, but not one that tends to trouble men – my husband doesn’t obsess about the fact that he isn’t tall).
On the other hand, I did discover that shoes like these and these – make a cankle look as fabulous as it can.
I’m just wondering, have you ever had regular massage on your oedema leg? Because that might be a thing that while not solving the problem, could help the circulation on the leg.
Also? You look fabulous.
I bow to your bravery in posting swimsuit pictures. The suit is adorable & you look great!
I bought a swimsuit for the 1st time in almost 10yrs because my 5yr old wants to go to the pool now. Being a size 18/20 I loathe swimsuit shopping, much less wearing it in public. My legs are ok (except for the cankles) from the knees down but everywhere else? *shudder*
You’re one hot mama! and I think you rock that new swimsuit xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
Love your swimsuit. My swimsuit consists of a bikini, which in summer is covered with a rashvest and boardshorts, and in winter with a wetsuit (I surf). My ankles are ok, but I have cauliflower knees, so anything I wear has to be at least to my knees. I have a slim waist, but am short between boobs and hips, and being not quite 5′ tall, makes anything too long make me look round. But, I am learning to like my shape. You won’t be seeing any pics of me on the internet though :D
You look fabulous! I admire your bravery. I tend to put my suit on and try to avoid all cameras and mirrors. Last summer my husband took a picture of me and my daughter and at the beach. I thought she looked so cute I posted it to facebook. About a month later(I don’t facebook too often) I went through my photos and discovered the offending photo. Sure she was cute but the rolls on my belly were pretty scary! What possessed me to put it on there i’ll never know! I think it was a little facebook rebellion since everyone on there seems to be putting out their super shiny self! Good luck with the workout! And cute suit!
I have a flat ass too. I’ve dreamed of butt implants (and a miraculous cellulite removal surgery which I’m pretty sure doesn’t exist.) But I’m also pear-shaped, so do I really want a big butt?
I ordered two new swimsuit tops online yesterday. But no bottoms. I’m just in denial about that part of my body, I guess.
Girl, you are GORGEOUS!! We’ve all got variations of the flab and cellulite and scars and battle wounds – but I swear that half of the battle of looking good in a swimsuit is your attitude.
And yours is pretty damn awesome.
You go girl!
I understand where you come from completely. One purple and huge leg, one shapely and normal looking leg here. (DVT in 1996 and five other clots since)
The way you were talking, I was thinking they were going to be quasimodo legs. You’re like most moms out there-you show the scars of childbirth.
Have fun at BlogHer with that new swimsuit!
You are 100% lovely.
“Maybe I’ll actually have an ass by BlogHer, who knows???”
Be careful what you wish for…donkeys are a lot of work to take care of.
No, your legs don’t look like a supermodel’s. But “shouldn’t be seen”? No way! I think you need to file that advice/perception right where you filed the “far-away face” advice!!
A) You are my hero. Not in a million years would I be brave enough to post a picture of myself in a swimsuit on the internet. Whether I look as bad as I think I look isn’t really the issue – how bad I think I look is the issue.
B) You don’t look like you think you look. Your legs may not be “swimsuit model perfect” but they in no way look as horrible as you think they look. I think they look fine. Good, even. If I saw you on the beach I wouldn’t be thinking negative thoughts about your legs.
It seems that you do a lot of conscious work on body dysmorphia in a very public way and I thank you for that because I think it helps all of us to have this conversation, to know that we are not alone in our insecurity, in our amazingly terrible ability to blow our perceived flaws WAYYYYY out of proportion. We have so much body shame and we have been taught to hide our flaws, keep our fat covered up. You are blasting right out there in the open and allowing your sister women to look at you and let you know that you’re more than just ok, you’re beautiful. This is a really good thing. (Wow, I just channeled Martha Stewart!)
Wow. Great RACK! Oh. Wait. Was I not supposed to notice? Because it seems the whole focus of conversation was on your legs – legs which suit me just fine, thank you very much.
You have proven to be, once more and again, one amazing woman.
And HOT!!!!
it’s like you’ve stabbed me in the heart! i have had terrible, terrible eczema my whole life. my poor pale little legs are covered in scars. i don’t wear shorts. ever. i don’t show my legs. ever. i hate the questions, “What happened?? Why do your legs look like THAT?” i’m super sensitive about it and it destroys my self confidence.
but maybe someday i’ll put pictures of them up on my blog. but probably not.
you look LOVELY, as always. you’re much to hard on yourself.
I think you’re gorgeous, I think you’re brave, and while I see your point about the one leg being thicker than the other, you look better than 90% of the women I’ve seen on the beach (but let me say that I don’t go during spring break when the tiny little college girls are there). If I saw you at the beach, I’d smile at the mom playing with her kids and, “good gracious, woman, put some pants on” would never even cross my mind.
I work out very regularly and am excited to hear you’ve found someone that you’re going to be exercising with. Even if it doesn’t improve the appearance of your legs, I’ve found increasing my strength to be very empowering…leading to a good boost in self confidence. While I started exercising to lose weight (and it worked), I kept exercising because I loved the thrill of achieving a new personal record, making myself stronger and tougher. The other day, I had the kids at the playground and I did a few chin-ups. A dad was standing across the playground but turned just in time to see my last two. He said, “wow,” and then asked his daughter, “do you think you could do that?” I love getting that kind of reaction way better than I love my leg muscles.
To that end, here’s a link to a great journal entry from Rachel Cosgrove, an amazing and fit personal trainer whose personal history includes being both fitness-model thin, and being over 200 pounds. I think she has great things to say:
http://rachelcosgrove.blogspot.com/2009/09/i-love-my-legs.html
Oh, and I should have said, I have something about my own body that makes me self-concious and causes people to ask questions that make me uncomfortable. It’s called brachymetatarsis, and it showed up when I was around 12 years old.
I rarely wear flip flops because of it, and have a whole host of foot problems and difficulty finding good shoes as well.
These are not my toes, but the only picture I have of them online is when I was about to pop with baby #2 and my feet are so swollen you can’t really look at the picture without saying, “pre-eclampsia much?” But it’s a good representation of what my toes look like:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/jessiqua/304784684/
Some people with this condition never show their toes to anyone. Not even their spouse. It’s genetic and whomever I inherited it from isn’t talking.
I am so thankful to know you’re not perfect. I don’t think you put yourself out there as perfect, but when I read someone’s blog that’s so fabulous it’s hard for me not to imagine them as perfect.
Why is it so reassuring for us to know that other people have flaws? So we will feel better about our own flaws?
I want to wish that everyone I love is perfect and happy. But in reality, I breathe a sigh of relief when I know that I’m not the most imperfect one in the bunch.
But the blessing is that you are wonderful in so many other ways that your legs don’t reflect who you are. They are just one aspect of you. That aren’t YOU. If your legs reflected YOU, your picture would totally be rocking the cover of SI.
:-)
I should show you a photo of MY legs…it’d make you feel a whole lot better! I have to admit, I was sitting here thinking “are you serious?” because your legs looked fine to me. Mine suck. I’ve always hated them and compared them to everyone else’s I see. I hate wearing shorts & swimsuits (actually, I just don’t do it) and am even thinking of banning capri pants from my wardrobe. I need to work out and lose weight and get a tan before these puppies see the light of day ever again! I feel your pain. Loralee…I have the same issues. Many people do. We just think everyone else is looking, when in truth, they are all just worried about their own bodies, you know??? Well, most people, that is! You look good…everyone will be looking at your beautiful face and hot hair and brilliant smile anyway. Rock on, Sista friend, rock on!
Okay, after the huge lead-in I was prepared for the worst, but your legs look completely normal! Seriously, if I saw you walking down the street I would never give your legs a second glance.
Also, you have amazing courage – to post photos of something you find difficult to expose to your huge audience – I’m in awe!
Oh my you are too funny. I am actually going swimsuit shopping today…and was planning on starting some STUPID insanity work our DVD thing my sister gave me. I should blog about it. Keep me accountable….good luck with the trainer, that’s good accountability too! You are so beautiful who’s gonna look at your cankles anyway???
This is one of my fave posts!
Girl, you already promised me that you’d wear a LBD for me at BlogHer. After seeing this, I know that you have nothing to worry about!
(Also – pregnancy left me with NASTY spider veins on my shins – I’ll show you my battle scars.)
1. You look amazing, and with so much loveliness, who will notice less-than-perfect legs?
2. A story. A good friend of mine was in a horrible car accident when she was 16, and she almost lost one of her legs. Many, many surgeries later, the leg was saved, but left horribly horribly scarred. After 20 years of that leg never seeing the sun, she decided that she was going to use her scars as a canvas for some remarkable tattoo art. And now she proudly shows them off, and people notice her ink, barely notice her scars, and she feels more like a woman than she ever did.
3. I love brave people. It helps me try to be brave as well.
4. Coveting your hair, you wretched thing. ; )
With your beautiful smile and adorable swimsuit, nobody will even be looking at your legs!
I don’t know if I would have noticed any flaws if you hadn’t told us to look out for them. My legs have a lot of spider veins (thanks alot, Mum), I have some cellulite and fat calves from years of dancing as a kid, but it gets really hot here in Tennessee and I have to wear shorts or skirts in the summer or I will die. So I just say WTF, and go with it.
You are fantastic. And I still say you are one of the most beautiful people on the planet!
I swears to GAH, I wouldn’t have noticed had you not put your legs side-by-side and pointed it out.
You’re gorgeous. Get over it.
Gah girl, you had me thinking you had major things going on and you look GREAT!
On the flat ass thing, it’s genetic in my family. From our dad’s side. NO ASS. Seriously, I weigh over 300 right now, pg with twins and wanted to buy a maternity belt BUT my ass will not hold the belt up. WTF?
But the answer is men’s jeans. They fit awesome. Well, not when pg, but normally!
And there is nothing wrong with your ankles. Feel free to work them into littler ankles if you want, but they look fine to me and I’ll just bet you don’t twist the hell out of them constantly like those of us with weak little ankles. ;)
Oh, and Mwah! You’re brave! *hug*
Holy hotness! You are gorgeous!! Great post and you should not be self concious at all. You truly look fabulous!
Jenn
your legs are perfect :) they have carried you so far! your scars and imperfections are reminders of the battles you’ve faced!
http://www.operationbeautiful.com
Honestly… you look just like a 30ish mother who has had 4 children… in fact, you look better than most of us. We all have a feature that isn’t our best… for me, besides being 70 pounds overweight- it’s my size 10-11 feet with the mutated looking bunions (can’t afford the surgery) I can’t wear sandals… it’s best for everyone that way. I notcied the flaws you mentioned mainly because you pointed them out and showed close up photos… but if I just saw you at the pool or beach- I wouldn’t think twice, other than, “cute swimsuit, great hair and, wish my boobies looked like that!” You’ve got nothing whatsoever to be shy about- you look great!
I don’t know that I would ever have noticed your legs with the rest of you drawing my attention. I can’t wait to see you in a cocktail dress at BlogHer!
hahahahah, see what the build up does! They don’t look bad at all sistah! Kudos to you for sharing with us. Cute suit by the way!!! I always say, keep ‘em tan and it hides all the flaws!
I think you look amazing!! You are very brave for doing that. I don’t even like to wear shorts anymore because I have my mom & grandma’s purple spider vein things all over my thighs. ick! That and my thighs are HUGE. No, no and no. You look HOT, don’t ever think otherwise. :)
Your legs are as beautiful as the rest of you.
No woman’s body is perfect. God simply did not make us that way. Our imperfections are what makes us all who we are.
…..brigitte and her little bitty knees and ankles….. grrrr…. AND her hairlessness!!!!! double grrrrr
You know what? I’m so glad you posted this. I am so tired of women complaining about their figures when they have nothing to complain about, and even more tired of how we’re all so embarrassed and insecure about our figures when 95% of us ALL HAVE THE SAME PROBLEMS. Saggy thighs, cellulite, jiggly upper arms, cankles, weird-looking butts, you name it. We ALL have body issues, it’s about time we recognized that and embraced it. Seriously. This is why I love Dove commercials. Anyway, you rock – and no one would ever notice your leg issues unless they got THAT close to them. Really.
you are brave and i applaud you! that being said-i was expecting a real freak show-something from shelley’s frankenstein. i can see what you are saying, but for all the weight loss, your arms and legs look good. you are too rough on yourself! the leg waxing will make you feel better. :)
You have legs like my best friend Holly. She has no excuse like blood clot, just genetics(her mom’s legs are identical). She has cankles and legs like tree trunks. They’re just thick. She also has size 12/13 feet. She still wears a swim suit but only wears long skirts/dresses when she wears them at all. Believe me when I say, walking on the beach or the pool, no one will notice your legs. They’ll be looking at all the other beautiful parts of you.
Good for you for taking that brave step..
*snuggles* I know you don’t like your leg/legs, but you are so much more than just that part of you. And at this point? The difference in the legs isn’t that noticable unless you are being viewed by a leg fetishist. I’m an art major who has taken many figure drawing and painting classes. I would have noticed the differences in your legs close to last of all things I would notice about you.
I’d notice your hair, your electric smile, then your pretty skin, then your eyes, distinguished nose, then probably your hard to overlook rack, then your clothes, your elegant hands, your height, and various other things, then finally get to noticing your legs. And this is purely from the perspective of an art major. You have many strengths. :)
“I’d notice your hair, your electric smile, then your pretty skin, then your eyes, distinguished nose, then probably your hard to overlook rack, then your clothes, your elegant hands, your height, and various other things, then finally get to noticing your legs. …. You have many strengths. :)”
Yes, although the boobs are #2 after the hair in my case. And honesty, looking especially at the one on the stairs from the knees down, the first thought is “ow” not “ew”!
Still, at 35lb over a healthy weight and 45lb over my goal weight, I understand the frustration. I love my legs, and my boobs are decent (when they’re reined in) but my chin (or lack thereof) and my manly arms just kill me. When I picture myself, I remember how I looked at about 20 lbs lighter, and when I allow someone to take a picture of me… I want to yell “I don’t look like that!” and then I look in the mirror again, and unfortunately, I do.
Thank goodness for professional photographers, right? But still. hugs.
This post is yet another example of why you are my hero. xo
You are very brave to put these photos out there. Yes, I can see the difference in your legs, but the good thing is that you did not lose that leg to the blood clot. You still have two of them. And that right there is a pretty good thing. and it still works to get you from one place to another. That is a very good thing.
I weighed myself this morning–the scales don’t lie: I am 251 pounds. I have started walking, as much to acclimate myself to the nearly 9,000 feet where I will be living for the next 6 months as to just get off my big old arse and exercise. I would be happy to lose 10 pounds, ecstatic to lose 50. There are things I want to do, one of which is to wear a bathing suit and not look like a beached whale. And I want to hike rim to rim at the Grand Canyon. I know I can not do it right now, I do not want to become a statistic, nor do I want to come out of the canyon by helicopter. So, I am walking, which is a good start. You have inspired me, Loralee.
Loralee, you are so brave. And you totally rock that swim suit! It looks great on you. Who is gonna be looking at your legs anyway? Your beautiful hair and those gorgeous eyes is what people will be staring at! I know you said your hair looks bright, but I love it!
You are really heroic. This is a good post. I havent commented here in a while, but had to tell you how great you look!
Swimsuit weather makes me seriously consider “dressing modestly” a la the Duggars. Summertime in Sacramento with kiddos makes being outside and needing to keep from melting a necessity. My main source of self-consciousnesses are my small breasts (especially now that after two pregnancies and nursing they aren’t even perky anymore) and acne. Back-ne especially. I had one hugely clogged pore for a DECADE that no esthetician was ever able to clear out completely. It actually had two black spots so it looked to me like a creepy little face about six inches below my neck. Accompanied by the “regular” clogged pores that my skin is prone too (salicyclic acid is a NECESSITY for me, not a beauty treatment) I felt myself to be a disgusting sight thus for years avoiding wearing not just swimwear but most tank tops, scoop necked tops and of course summer dresses. Of course being overdressed in 102 degree weather only creates more pore clogging. I eventually did get rid of the creepy little “face” but am left with a literal hole in my skin along with various other scars.
Hey I don’t think they are as bad as you think! I think we are always the most critical of ourselves. You are really inspiring me to try to be more positive about life in general.
We have had about 6 really horrible years that have left me so bitter so I love to read about people trying to be positive about things they have problems with.
I have asthma too and with my weight and bad ankle I totally understand your hesitancy to work out and I wish you all the luck in the world with your endeavors! Maybe I will get back on the treadmill myself and see if I can get back into some sort of routine. I like the weight lifting machines since they don’t make me have to break out my inhaler but those darn treadmills scare me to death! Good luck and lots of luv!
You are beautiful. Legs, too.
http://www.operationbeautiful.com