I have been wanting to write this post for a long time but I have been a wee bit hesitant.
This would be why I am posting it on a weekend.
I’m sneaky like that.
Grin.
Today’s topic is guns and keeping them in your house when you have children.
I know this will surprise the people who know me and who read this blog regularly but I AM TORN ON THIS ISSUE.
(See! Loralee is torn on something! SHOCKING, IS IT NOT?!!!)
When I met with Valerie Jarrett at the White House, I told her that I had recently switched parties. After asking my very conservative husband how he was coping with it, she asked me how being a new Democrat was going for me.
I responded in true “Loralee” fashion.
“Well… think I may like guns too much and not love the earth enough to be a Democrat, but so far I am digging it!”
She laughed. :)
Here is the thing.
I like guns.
It would be way more comfortable and PC for me to hide this fact as most of my blog readers are likely overwhelmingly anti-gun, but it’s who I am and I’ve always used this blog as a way to write my way through my feelings about different situations.
And I have a situation. And it’s not one that will get solved today but I tested this topic out on Facebook awhile back and it was a positive thing that enabled some changes, so we’ll see what happens here. (Though this is a WAY bigger stage than my Facebook account. Gulp.)
But yup…I like guns.
I like looking at them. As clearly illustrated below, I think men who can use them in a responsible (ie: non “Rambo Asshole”) way automatically make them more attractive to me. (So does a uniform, but THAT is a story for another day, my friends.)
I like shooting them. (In a range. I don’t hunt.)
Big and small…doesn’t matter.
It’s fun for me.
I may totally regret posting photos with me and guns but what the heck…I’m not ashamed of it. Also, I’ve talked about my girl bits so much online this week I might as well just go for it.
My husband likes guns even more than I do. (As in way, WAY more.)
Note the bullet shells as earplugs.
We are such dorks.
When he makes a purchase he spends hours researching and picking out and hemming and hawing and making sure that the guns he buys are just what he wants. He has taken a ton of training and gotten all special licensed n’ stuff. I even sent him to Nevada to complete a totally intensive tactical course.
He had a blast.
And he bought a gun.
And then added another to the collection.
And another.
And well…
Here is the thing.
I don’t like having them in my house.
I just don’t.
Reason why?
My kids.
My son, Matthew.
And because of that, I know that the very worst, and most unimaginable thing that you can think of can and DOES happen.
No matter how careful you are.
I know that in the blink of an eye things too horrific to believe can happen that you can never, ever take back.
(I can’t tell you how awesome this has been for getting a good night’s sleep, people.)
I am a FIRM believer in education about gun safety and teaching kids the ins and outs of a weapon and to respect it. And though he argued the nullification of protecting the home (yeah, because we live in such a vicious crime ridden area here amongst the cows) I was freaking THE HELL OUT until Jon bought a gun safe, but we have one of those. Unless you are, oh, a cop or the like with massive training on them, I just don’t think using guns as a means of defense is the best idea. I think more accidental things occur in situations like that or it gets turned on someone who doesn’t know what they are doing far more than not.
I know I should NEVER use one under ANY KIND of duress.
See, once a very drunk/stoned/high as a kite on something man came stumbling into my kitchen at about 2 am while I was standing in my underwear getting a drink of water at the kitchen sink.
They say there is a “Fight or Flight” response that every human has.
I call bullshit on that because my reaction was neither “Fight” nor “Flight”.
It was more like “Loralee is going to stand here frozen like a deer in headlights while she is raped and murdered”.
I couldn’t even make one sound.
My vocal folds would.not.work.
I couldn’t find the capability to use the instrument that I had spent the better part of my life training, I really don’t think I could have even attempted to THINK about using a gun at that moment. (Again, I know this is a highly individual situation, but still…)
I just worry.
I worry about my kids. I worry about accidents. I worry about the sheer stupidity. While we aren’t an angry household, I can’t help but think of all the stories where someone lost there temper and… I worry about having to tell the parents of children coming to my home that we have firearms here (though truthfully, it probably wouldn’t be too much of a problem here), I worry about kids that are more curious and less knowledgeable than my children are.
And…deep, deep, DEEP breath here…
I worry a tiny little bit about me.
Well, my past really.
But still…
When I was suicidal after the death of my son, I thought about trying to find a gun. If I had found one, no gastric bypass would have saved me. My worry may seem (and very well may BE over blown here. Do I think I will ever go back to that hellish place ever, EVER again?
No.
But.
When you have fallen that hard and been that close to dying?
You tend to be uber cautious because you never, never, never, never want to go back there.
Ever.
(And no. I am not unstable in the least. IN THE LEAST. So, please don’t see this as some ominous sign.)
But my husband really loves them. He feels strongly that we have them here so he can protect his home. He wants our kids to grow up around them. And like I said, I really like them a whole bunch.
Still…
There are guns.
In my house.
And I am not sure I will ever be comfortable with it.
First, just to make you feel better, I have a similar fight/flight response. I usually stand and stare. It’s a fine example of how well my nervous system works, really.
Here’s my 2 cents. First, I preface with the fact that I hate guns. I hate them with a deep burning passion in the depths of my heart.
My dad kept guns in our house when I was a kid. They were unloaded, but they weren’t locked up and we knew where they were. I once told my mom I was going to take her far away and shoot her. And while I never would’ve, I know that the only reason I said that was because of my knowledge of the guns in the house. And it may seem silly, but I never want my kids to come to those ideas, and I certainly never want them to have the resources to act those ideas out.
I know it seems far fetched, but I just feel like there are far too many stories of kids accidentally or intentionally shooting themselves or other kids. In this case, I guess I’d rather be safe than sorry any day.
I know, what is with the “no fight OR flight” thing?
I kept hoping it would kick in but…nope.
And what I meant to include in there was that I respect your right to have them and am sure you guys are safe. It’s just my personal, uneducated, worst-case scenario fearing opinion.
We have a gun in the house. In a safe, unloaded. I don’t think too much about it, as most days I forget it exists. My three girls don’t know we have one. I’m not comfortable handling it, but I’m glad we have it in case of a need for one.
We have no guns in the house, but I live in Australia, which has much tighter gun laws.
That said, I would love to learn how to use a handgun. One day I will buy one, and I will use it at the shooting range nearby. And that gun will live at the shooting range and it will never come into my home.
(IMO) Guns as a household defence weapon are stupid. The stats are very clear that most often they are used against you.
Kids can be silly. Kids can be impressionable. Kids want to be cool. Kids who want to be cool may show other kids mummy and daddy’s gun collection. The kid they show may not be as mature and respectful and knowledge as the kid you have raised and taught better.
And that is why my (future) handgun will never leave the range.
To the poster Madge above, I ask (without judgment), in what sort of situation can you imagine needing a gun, where you’d have time to go and get the key to the safe, get the bullets, get the gun from the safe, load the gun without puting yourself and your family in more danger?
Loralee, if you are worried about yourself, my suggestion is to have your husband kide the key, adn not tell you where. If you go shooting together, he can get the guns out and put them awa when you’re done. But its just one extra precaution for you to have in place, if you’re worried. Of course, that won’t help you if you go shooting alone.
Well, you’ve already placed judgment to my situation by first stating in your comment that “Guns as a household defence weapon are stupid.” Therefore, I feel that question is somewhat loaded (ha! a pun!)
I’m not overly worried for me per say, but it would be foolish to not take my history into account.
I know how to use a gun and use it safely. I just don’t know how down I am with them being kept in my house.
The key thing IS a good idea though.
I wonder if my husband would let me bury it in the back yard somewhere? (I am thinking NO will be his answer)
“And I am not sure I will ever be comfortable with it.”
Something about that statement makes me feel that the guns in your house are a lot safer than the ones in other homes. That you are SO aware of the risks and danger associated with them. That you are constantly going to be careful and vigilant that they are not used inappropriately.
As for me? I’m not sure I could sleep with a gun in the house… although living in Indiana most of my friends and neighbors growing up had them EVERYWHERE.
I agree.
Thank you. I like to think that it keeps me on my toes. Like water and pools. I will never, never, NEVER be comfortable with my children around them. I watch like a hawk.
Pools are really where the danger is, even though guns get more attention. Watch them like a hawk, indeed.
Guns terrify me. I wish that the only people who had them were law enforcement officials. The thought of that much power, and the thought that it could get into the wrong hands? Really scares me. But, then again, maybe I just watched too much 90210 in my youth.
They can scare me, too.
I have utter respect for their power. Which is also why I don’t think I can ever be truly ok with them here.
And?
Brandon or Dylan?
Hint: If you say Dylan we may have to be in a fight. ;P
Loralee, I feel so, so, SO much better.
My husband, Mike, has wanted to teach me how to shoot one since we first met six and a half years ago. We’ve now been married for five years (next week, woot!) and I’m just now getting comfortable having one in the house. After our neighbors across the hall from us were robbed, he taught me how to disengage the safety on the shotgun, and told me the noise alone would probably scare any burglarmen off.
Unfortunately, you and me, we’re alike in some ways. (A lot of fun ways, I’m finding, but bad too!) I can’t scream when I’m scared. I can’t do anything. Immobile. So even if we have a gun, so what? The robbermen are going to find it and shoot me? Even better. Awesome. I’ve woke up screaming from this idea before.
So here we sit, five years into wedded bliss, a gun behind my bedroom door, and my disapproval. But, hubby is happy, and shells are somewhere in the storage room, and he reassures me, it can’t go off by itself with nothing in it.
Do you have kids? That is my biggest issue. For myself, I probably would be ok with it (though not something I would do if not married to my spouse)
having been a southerner all my life and coming from a large hunting family, i’m almost ashamed to admit i can’t shoot a gun. not because i don’t want to, nor b/c i can’t, really. it’s because my vision is so bad it’s actually better off that i don’t shoot a gun. or aim anything remotely dangerous. they won’t even let me throw arrows, forget the freakin’ bow! lol. they even took the gun away from me during hunter safety. never did find that bullet. (hunter safety is required for all 8th graders in the state of mississippi)
anyway, my dad used to keep all his hunting rifles on a gun rack above our fireplace. he was always careful about making sure they were empty and nothing in the chamber.
i don’t like guns in the house. and i don’t have any kids. but also, we don’t have handguns, either. just hunting rifles. so i guess i would say, if they’re hunting rifles, keep them under the bed with the ammo in a locked box in the top of the closet. if they’re other types, keep them in a locked gun cabinet in the garage. if you don’t have a garage, then i have no ideas. lol.
NO GARAGE.
ONE BATHROOM.
1,100 SQ FT. OF LIVING SPACE.
WITH FIVE PEOPLE
Oh, this could turn into a totally off topic rant.
I hate where I live. :S
I HATE GUNS. My brother in law shot and killed himself. I HATE GUNS!
What if I had a gun or guns in this house in January? Bronson wouldn’t have gone for the pills, he would have gone for the gun. I REFUSE TO HAVE GUNS in my house and since my kids don’t hang out in other people’s homes I don’t have to worry about that.
….protecting myself and my home? I have a dog to do that.
I HATE GUNS!
I’m so sorry about your brother-in-law, Sandi.
Truly.
I love you to bits.
xo
How about a compromise? What if your husband kept his gun collection in a storage unit somewhere? And what if he had the only key?
That way 1) they’re out of the home so your kids, and other peoples’ kids, aren’t going to have an accident; 2) they’re not accessible to you if you unexpectedly go back to that place (and I don’t think you’re there, or that you will, but I’ve cycled through depression myself and it can come back when you don’t expect it); but 3) he still has easy access to his gun collection, and you do too if you want to go out and shoot for fun.
Seems like a win/win/win to me.
I grew up with a gun or two in the house, but I didn’t know until I had left home (my step-father had a locked safe in the closet that I never saw or heard mentioned until well after college).
No guns in my home. Period.
When I got married, I told my husband that if he ever had guns in the home, we would divorce. At first he thought he may want guns, for example those that belong to his grandfather. I was adamant that a gun in my home ever = divorce. After we’d been married about 5 yrs, I told him I’d given it some thought and I would not actually file for divorce if he owned a gun. He was like, “Are you crazy? Like I’d bring a gun into your home!”
I will not allow guns in my home and I will not allow my children to play in homes that have guns. We were going to stay at my parents’ home overnight once and they told me they did now have a gun but it’s in a locked cabinet. We did not stay at their home.
A lot of people in my family are military and I am sure they have guns. I do not express my anti-gun opinion to them. But it’s an issue I feel strongly about. I was assigned the topic in a debate class in college and I spent a few weeks in the library learning about cases after case where a parent accidentally shot a child who was sneaking into the home late at night, or a child accidentally shot a parent or a sibling, or someone accidentally shot a spouse. It was pretty traumatic research, for sure.
(PS. No offense to you and I’m glad you have fun shooting guns. I’m sure I have fun doing things other people would never dream of doing. And for the record, if I married someone knowing he had guns, I would not try to pull an anti-gun stance after the fact.
PPS. I’m sure lots of people now like you even more because some people find guns sexy; that is the appeal of Sarah Palin, I am sure. Not that I am comparing you to Sarah Palin. But you both have nice hair and shoot guns. You’re funnier though.)
Ok, as long as the comparison to Sarah Palin stops at hair and guns we’re good. ha ha ha! ;P
I do worry about the play date thing. Truly. It’s not fun to have a parent look at your house as “OMG IT WILL HARM MY KID IF THEY STEP THROUGH THE DOOR YOU SUCK ASS ADULTS!”
Not that that is what you are saying but being on this end of it can feel like that. But it is what you have to do as a parent, protect your kid.
Jon’s always liked guns and truly…I had NO idea it would bother me as much as it is as I have always liked them as well.
Gun ownership is newish to us, thus…it surprised me, you know?
I never ever think “suck ass adults” about people who have guns. (Downside about commenting under real name: in about two hours there will be a new Google result for me that says, “Deana Birks, suck ass adults…”).
I went to a high school where, on the first day of hunting season, there were no boys in school. Two of my best male friends from high school still hunt and fish and yes, they show me their deer heads and no I never say anything rude to them. One has a daughter my older son’s age (11, almost 12) and she hunts deer. I have never said anything anti-gun to them. A guy in my hometown tried to impress me once by showing me a ziploc baggie full of squirrel brains (apparently proving his prowess in some way).
I have also lived in a neighborhood that kept getting worse and worse and by the time we moved we were hearing gunshots almost every night. I stood in the baking aisle in the grocery store next to a man who was wearing gang clothing and who had a gun strapped on. Several other men in the grocery store were also dressed identically, and even though they were not technically doing anything illegal, it was frightening.
I also know someone who owns guns and one of his sons accidentally hurt his brother badly. With a gun? No, with a rock from the backyard. Because boys do stupid things. Neither violence nor accidents began with guns.
However, like bombs, guns have a main purpose which involves killing, whether humans or animals. A lot of people shoot for fun but the tool was designed with killing in mind. I have a fundamental issue with a device which was designed to cause death to someone else with little to no exertion on the part of the person holding it.
My true apologies for the Google Searching. ;P (And if it makes you feel any better, I blog under my real name. IMAGINE the alerts I get. Heh)
I truly did not mean to imply that is how you felt. Simply my interpretation of how it can feel when another adult deems your home not ok for their kid to be in. It sucks for any reason, you know?
xo
I’m very, very much anti gun, to the point that I worry about my son going to a house that has one because many people do not keep theirs locked up and children do get them out and play with them….
That being said, that statement is not a criticism of you, those are just my feelings. Statistics show a child is more likely to be injured by a pool in a home than a gun (weird, but true.)
I also think you are very brave for posting this, knowing there might be backlash.
LOL, I did not see the “Pool” comment before going off on my “WHAT ABOUT SWIMMING POOLS” reply up above!
And thanks. I don’t mind you being anti-gun. At ALL. As long as you are not “Anti-Loralee-and-she-sucks-huge-because-she-likes-them”, we’re good.
And yes. I’ve heard from that faction already. Sigh.
And…thanks. Sometimes putting stuff out there that is who you are but that you know will touch a nerve can be tough.
Much love.
P.S. Stay rad and have a cool summer. (heh)
Wow. Loralee did a gun post. I like it. Offhand, without doing a list, I can say that there are at least 25 or 30 firearms of all types here in the house. Most locked away in a high end gun safe. But there are a few strategically placed that only see the inside of the safe when I leave the house. I refuse to be a victim. Responsible gun ownership requires great effort. I shoot and train regularly. After extensive background checks and many hours in the classroom and on the range, I have both an Arizona and Utah Concealed Weapons Permit. If you see me, and I’m not in California, I’m armed. It’s about empowerment and refusing to meekly cede situational control to criminals. Am I a “Rambo” camo wearing, right wing, fanatic? No. Women are the fastest growing demographic in concealed carry. I like that. Violent crime, especially against women, goes down inversely to increased concealed carry. That’s a fact, unlike the myth about the high frequency of guns being turned against the person carrying. “I hate guns” is a common refrain. Well, I hate criminals. Criminals intent on doing myself or my family harm. Statistically, your odds of being violently assaulted are over 10 times higher than your house burning down, but you have fire insurance, right? Just sayin’…………….
Jonathan has a CCP as well. And he uses it. :)
And sometimes in California Stephen. They have an open carry policy that only requires the weapon and magazine be visible at all times on your person in a holster. I open carry all the time in CA.
Like you and Sandi said, I worry. I could NEVER have a gun in my house because if there had been a gun four years ago? pills would have been replaced by a gun. and that terrifies me.
Ok, dear. Here is where you (and I’m sure MANY readers of this blog with whom I otherwise agree wholeheartedly) and I are going to disagree in a huge, honkin’ way. Basically, I agree with Sandi, only I’m willing to go much further. “I like to have a gun in my house to defend myself” is utter and complete bullshit, and unless you live in a horrendously crime-ridden area, deep down you have to admit that the odds of your being the victim of an armed break-in in your home are far worse than your home being hit by lightning.
I also believe the absolute idiocy of “it’s all in the 2nd Amendment” is equally repellent, not to mention dead wrong. If you think the 2nd amendment is backing you up, you’re fundamentally misunderstanding what the framers of the Constitution were talking about.
You made the point yourself, Loralee:
—–And because of that, I know that the very worst, and most unimaginable thing that you can think of can and DOES happen.
No matter how careful you are.
I know that in the blink of an eye things too horrific to believe can happen that you can never, ever take back. ——
That’s pretty much where the argument begins and ends. You (or Jon) like to have guns around? That’s nice dear, but hardly an adult reason to keep them nearby. I like a lot of things, but if they’re going to harm my family, I don’t do it. I might like deadly cobras, but I’d prefer they stay elsewhere, not where my family could be harmed (or killed) by them. There it is. There simply is NO compelling reason why you SHOULD have guns around, except “I’m an amurrican, dammit, and I have the right to do it, so I’m gonna, and you can pry it out of my cold dead hands”. That’s not a reason, that’s a childish, frankly ignorant rationalization (for people insulted by that last sentence, that’s just too damn bad. I’m not apologizing for it). So feel free to keep guns in your house, but if you’re going to be honest, you must acknowledge you’re not doing it to keep anyone safe, because in fact your home is more dangerous with guns than without. People don’t die from firearms when there aren’t any nearby. It really is that simple.
David,
Your email (and those of others disagreeing with me here) was sweet and truly loving.
Nothing you could say would make me not adore your guts, guy.
Here is the thing. I don’t feel that guns are necessary to defend our home where we live (though that whole underwear/kitchen incident scared the hell out of me). But my husband does. Absolutely. In a non-childish, grown up way. ;P He would utterly disagree that carrying (permitted of course) is not keeping those around him safe. Again…dunno how much I agree with that. I have enough cops and military friends, family and loved ones that I have heard plenty of arguments the other way.
I’m not sure where I land here.
It’s part of the reason I wrote this.
I’m chewing things over. I envy those who are clear cut in their opinions and with partners who are like minded.
Can I throw out another argument for discussion? Can I throw out a question? I may regret it but I started typing this in a reply and it got me wondering.
So, what about swimming pools?
(I know that guns are a weapon pure and simple, but let me see where this goes as I am curious…)
Pools don’t even have the rational of protecting your family, they are for simple, pure enjoyment *unless needed for physical therapy* But they cause a shitload of death every year. Especially of children. Even when gated and locked up. Even with supervision WAAAAY more than guns. WAY.
Plenty of people own pools with no harm or accident coming to them. And plenty of people own guns that never have any injury at all as well.
And yet?
There is no “Anti-pool” movement, that I am aware of.
You don’t HAVE to have a gun in the house to shoot and enjoy them (which truthfully would be my preference I think). But you don’t HAVE to have a pool either, you know?
People do choose not to buy houses with pools because of kids. I don’t know if I would have one or not. I can’t imagine if I did I would be any more comfortable than I am with a gun in the house.
I know it is slightly apples and oranges but just thought I’d throw that out there.
Another point to go down that line of thinking would be automobiles. I don’t have any statistics to back this up but from just watching the news I am going to say there are exponentially more vehicular deaths/injuries. For that matter, hypocritically speaking, what about junk food and the number one killer in America for decades – heart attacks. I would love for the government to try and regulate my ice cream!
Although, Brent…it could be said that cars and food are necessary to live, really.
I picked pools because they have no real service to human need, you know?
I have to respectfully disagree with cars being a necessity. I think they are an integral convenience. If it came right down to it, no one dies from the lack of a personal automobile (except in rare occasions of medical emergencies but that is why we have ambulances).
I also didn’t say food – just junk food:)
I thought of another touchy one – just for kicks and giggles and to stir the pot! How about alcohol? How many deaths are related to alcohol?
Now I am not about to say that any of the above should be banned. But it seems that like everything in life, common sense is the best preventative measure. Common sense states you shouldn’t drink to excess or drink and drive. Common sense says you shouldn’t have a twinkie with every meal. Common sense says you don’t hang your child over a balcony. Common sense says if you are going to have a gun you should take every and all precautions. Too bad that common sense is not something universally found.
Since you egged me on earlier I’ll now publicly state my opinion on the matter at hand. I own a few rifles and a hand gun and I am not going to apologize for it to anyone. I don’t hunt and I don’t own them for home protection. I own them because I like to go shooting! It is a fun and demanding hobby/skill. I LOVE the minutia of loading my own shells as it requires extreme precision which allows me to “escape” the pressures of life. I love the practice of controlling my breathing, finding my rythm, taking in the variables that affect a shot, compensating and successfully making a shot. It is a great challenge.
This being said, I don’t view my handgun as a primary means of home protection. I haven’t been throught the training so I don’t view it or it in combination with me as a reliable means of defense. I am probably better off just using my prescence (with a 3 wood). I can probably scare most people off just with that (it also helps that we have a dog that sounds really vicious) but if it came down to it and shots were being fired and I had time to get my gun and load it, then I would not hesitate to use it. That statement leaves a lot of variables that would have to come into play before ever resorting to a firearm.
Finally, I believe that every gun owner should take every precaution affordable to isolate and secure their guns. Equally as important is teaching your family to respect guns and there lethality regardless of whether or not you own a gun. It pisses me off to no end when I see a kid pointing a toy gun or even their hand as a gun at someone else. I have even scolded neighbor kids for doing that (again showing my lack of concern over being politically correct and my hypocrisy – how many times did I play army as a kid???).
Anywhooo – thanks for putting yourself out there and for the courtesy laugh!
Loralee,
I have to agree with you whole-heartedly here. Pools are way more dangerous than guns.
We live in an area where the first day of deer season is a holiday from school! Everyone here owns guns. Most in our area do hunt, and they use what they kill for food. Deer processing is big business! There is a gun range at the end of our road, and they are just scattered throughout the county. I never ask if people own a gun before my kids go to play – I would never send them anywhere where they were not going to be fully supervised anyway.
We are guaranteed the right to bear arms – we just are. “the right of the People to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.”
While I agree that it is unlikely, and even dangerous to try end defend your home in the event of a break in, especially if you are unfamiliar with the handling of a gun – if you keep it locked up it will take too long to get to it anyway- I think the right to bear arms to defend one’s home may become necessary.
We have 9 children. If the economy continues to worsen (please God, no), many will be unprepared. We have stock piled supplies, and many of our friends and family have stockpiled as well. Food, water and ammo, other paper essentials, that sort of thing. A gun may well be very necessary to protect what we have for our children. It may seem far fetched, (and sound very Y2K), but it never hurts to be prepared.
Our guns are locked up, the ammo is locked up in another location, no where near the guns. My husband was given the gun when we could not afford one, by a co-worker who felt so strongly that we may need it to protect our children if the economy does not begin a turn around. Very kind man, indeed.
I would never buy a house with a pond or pool, but we have guns locked up tight.
My husband is a hunter sometimes and we have guns, hunting rifles, in the house. However the rule is they are locked, hidden and we keep NO AMMO in the house. He has to go buy it when he will use it. I grew up shooting guns so I am used to the rules. However, he is not looking at handguns and I am not so sure. This will be an intersting discussion.
I feel the same as you. Sort of. I’m not a gun lover but I don’t hate them. I have a respectful fear of them, if you will, and I worry about having them in the house.
My husband has quite a stash of guns, and while he’s an expert on them (no..seriously..he is), you’d think he would have more sense and concern. He has boxes and boxes of ammo stashed in the closet. He also been known to leave shotguns and rifles out, leaning against our bedroom wall – unloaded, but still it pisses me off. My boys know not to mess with them but things happen. And I have a very curious toddler running around now as well. Leaving them out is setting up for disaster, but in HIS opinion the kids shouldn’t touch them in the first place so if they do touch them and something happens, it’s THEIR fault.
No..I can’t believe I’m married to someone like this either.
Accidents happen even when children are well schooled in gun safety and responsibility. It scares me what could happen with some many guns in the house.
You know, when I bring it up my husband uses the “protect the house” excuse. But? If someone breaks in my house they have two dogs to get through first. One of those is a 100lb German Shepherd. His teeth? They hurt. A lot. Because the guns are normally stashed either in the closet or under the bed, I would be less apt to go for a gun and more apt to grab one of my boys’ metal baseball bats. Screw the guns. Between a Mama Bear wielding a metal bat and two pissed off, protective dogs, an intruder wouldn’t have much of a chance here.
I love guns in the right situation. Shooting targets with my grandfather behind the cottage is one of my favorite memories. We were taught to respect guns and taught proper safety (given it was the 80′s and things were a bit more relaxed then, and there were no cottages behind ours, we were fine.)
Having said that, I would never keep a gun in my home. I have a very big dog and that is enough for me. By the time I remembered a safe combination, loaded it up and pointed it – any intruder would have done/taken what he wanted anyway.
Plus I could totally kick some serious ass if I needed to – have you SEEN my thighs?
My only problem with your post sweetcheeks is you’re not supposed to put anything smaller than your elbow in your ears! Hahaha just kidding!
xoxoxo
SNORT. ;P
I think Amy’s comment above might have made my head explode.
I’m not anti-gun. I’ve shot BB guns and hand guns and spent my childhood visiting my grandparents’ home full of guns. I also wore a uniform.
But it makes absolutely no sense to keep guns in the home for protection. If they’re loaded, they’re a danger to your children. If they’re not loaded, they’re of no use except as a blunt object. Even in the case of your 2am intruder, a gun would have done you no good unless you had a loaded one in hand.
I know you wore a uniform and frankly…that matters a lot to me, frankly. I mostly agree with you. Mostly. I cannot utterly discount the defense angle though (though seriously…SO NOT the way I would choose) however, I know it’s saved people. It’s tough to shake those accounts, you know? Even though statistics are not on their side. (Said the girl who is utterly emotional vs. logical)
This post makes the 100% most sense to me, and is exactly what I would have written. Unless you have time to go run and get it, load it, etc… what good is it?
I understand carrying [with permit] but keeping in the house – I just don’t see it being any use in a dangerous situation.
However, I am without any experience with guns, nobody in my family has any, I’ve never shot one, I don’t think my parents or grandparents have either, etc….
“this post” meaning Julie’s “no use except as a blunt object” post. It didn’t place my reply directly under it. oops.
We have talked before about this and as a officer for some 20 years I have spent more time with guns then any other human being but with that said it is a personal issue. Guns are a tool such as a automobile that can be dangerous if left to the innocent, kids or untrained. You must ultimately do what makes you feel ok, there is no shame in owning a gun or not. If you need one a cop will come just like me and we know how to take care of business. Nice to chat, follow me if you like on Twitter, thanks Bleedsblu
I’m glad you wrote this. It’s important to weigh these decisions and choose knowing your reasons for the choice.
I, for one, don’t have an opinion — I don’t have any guns and so don’t have this choice to make — but I’m glad to get a picture of what other parents think through when they make this kind of decision.
So, thanks.
big ass gun safe. with a combo I don’t know. and a rule of no guns larger than me.
and I told husband that if I were in a situation where a gun would be useful, I wouldn’t think to use it because I’d be too busy grabbing Alex and jumping out the bedroom window that has no screen on it. Cuz flight is way easier and doesn’t require me to clean my carpet after.
So he bought me an emergency ladder – cuz that’s how he rolls.
As for gun safety and Alex – “This is Daddy’s gun, it keeps him safe at work. If you want to know more about Daddy’s gun, you ask him to teach you. Meanwhile never ever ever point it at a person. The end.”
oh – and I *do* think it is important that all adults know how to make a gun safe, or check to know if it is loaded – it’s like knowing how to drive a stick shift – you never know when you might need to know how.
I like guns. I always did. The thing is, until two or maybe three years ago I haven’t seen a real gun. On the other hand, the toys look exactly alike (if I am not not very wrong, it’s forbidden in USA to use a toys without an orange tip? It doesn’t exist in here, all toys look like real guns).
Then three years ago I went to the shooting range and shoot a sport rifle. It was fun despite the metallic taste in my mouth after shooting. I would go again to shoot a handgun, but it’s terribly expensive (at least for me, the poor student xD), so I can’t really afford that.
BUT when I’m finally 21 (well, that shouldn’t be tough, I have birthday in a week :D) and I publish my first bestseller that will make me millionaire, I will definitely try to get a license (I will have to make up a reason, like “I’ve been assaulted and I couldn’t defend myself!”) and buy myself a Beretta. Or something else :D
(Well, okay, I’m jokin with the bestseller and all, but if I could afford it, I would buy a gun. Just because I like them.)
My parents never had a gun. And frankly, I don’t know anyone, beside my uncle who is a polceman, who would own one. But then again, it’s very, very hard in here to be granted a license. My father used to have a gun for pepper spray (I don’t know if he still has it) and a taser in home, but no real guns.
But, for the sake of the argument: in Poland, which is absolutely NOT a gun-friendly country (along with the whole EU), per 100,000 population, in 2000, there were about 85 aggravated assaults, while in gun-friendly (I mean the law, ofc) USA the rate for the same amount of people is 324. Meaning that in Poland, total population of 38 millions, there were 32,300 of aggravated assaults, while in USA, population of around 281 millions (according to 2000 census), there were 910,440 of them. Why is that so?
(I have used the information from this website: http://www-rohan.sdsu.edu/faculty/rwinslow/europe/poland.html).
ciao,
Amy.
Ah, the toys.
(I AM GOING OFF ON A TANGENT, HERE)
I am SO NOT A FAN OF TOYS THAT LOOK LIKE REAL WEAPONS.
Here is one reason why:
Last week one of my friends pulled into Burger King in a major city (that is not all that safe) and saw a guy in full body armor and he was pulling assault rifles (or whatever) out of his trunk.
My friend jumped out, pulled his weapon and approached.
(He’s a Federal Agent and former cop. And was in the Navy. Point is, the guy is trained up and down and sideways. I don’t want you to think this was just some person. You see something like that going down at a place of business and you’re in law enforcement? YOU ACT. Much as it makes my stomach twist with worry.)
The idiot was using a P90 lookalike airsoft sub-gun.
It was a TOY. A freaking realistic looking toy.
He got a stern lecture to “Please do not be so incredibly stupid next time”.
Well, I agree 100%. I think toys SHOULD have a clear indication that they are toys. The fact that it’s not the case, at least here, doesn’t change that it should be.
And something similar (well, okay, similar just because it’s a bout gun toys)happened to my friend, who worked in a shop at a time She was terrorised and forced to give away all the takings. A man that did the robbery was then caught by the police and it turned out his gun was a toy. (My friend doesn’t work there anymore. She started college.)
But I dunno, I think it would be almost impossible to get rid of all the non-marked toys, especially with the flow of “made in China”s and all…
ciao,
Amy.
Amy,
Statistics can be a bit misleading. First of all, you can’t look at the US as a whole. It is a very large country with different gun laws for every state. You can also pick particular statistics to illustrate anything you want. Like this one.
“Poland has a murder rate of 0.0562789 per 1,000 people … America has a rate of 0.042802 per 1,000 people. Those stats will come as a bit of a surprise to both Americans and Poles, no doubt.”
If I were to take that in a vacuum, I could insinuate that Polands strict gun laws are keeping guns out of the hands of law abiding citizens and making them unable to defend themselves.
But that is just as bad as using them the other way.
It comes down to this. I do not believe that a government has the right to deny a law abiding citizen the right to keep a firearm. This gives every non-felon adult the chance to make their own choice. If you do not like them or want them in your home… great, you don’t have to. If you do, that is your right as well.
-Jonathan
Another way to look at the statistics. Utah has to least restrictive gun laws in the US. Utah had 224 violent crimes per 100,000 residents. California has the strictest gun laws of any state in the US and it has a violent crime rate of 532.5 per 100k.
Does this mean gun ownership is the cause of these differences in crime rates? No, it does not. It may be a factor, but the reality is, there are thousands of factors to contribute to the crime rates in a state or country, and to try to blame them on gun laws alone is misguided.
-Jonathan
I agree that the idea that having a gun in your home is for defense in burglary-type break-in situations.
However. I am a liberal. Like, SUPER LIBERAL. But I believe — and support — the second amendment, and think everyone should have the right to have a gun in their home. I’ve shot guns. I enjoy guns. I would have a gun, except that we keep moving around, sometimes to states where getting a permit is a laughable pain in the ass (Massachusetts).
There are ways — many ways — to keep guns safe in the home, away from children. I’m sort of insulted at the notion that this is not the case, and often an idea that stems from ignorance. Biometric safes, offsite ammunition, etc. etc. If you want to keep a gun safe and away from children, it can be done, provided you are intelligent and responsible, which most people who advocate for gun ownership are.
Of course, this does not cover everyone, but I am firmly in the camp that gun laws don’t work when it comes to criminal activity. And I live in a state at the moment (for a little while longer, anyway) with the most lax gun laws in the country, and yet the incidence of gun violence is slim to none.
Here I am going to sound like Sarah Palin, but it is the utmost truth: It’s about personal responsibility. Mock me if you must.
I always knew I adored you.
Now?
It’s love, baby.
Will you marry me?
Please?
Come on, you live in Vermont! WE CAN MAKE THIS HAPPEN!!!
:p
xo
HA! Well, we’re moving back to Massachusetts, where such things (and guns) are a little harder to come by, but I’ll see what we can do.
(I get very passionate about this issue, which is strange, given my other political leanings.)
Damn.
And I love that you do. I feel like I don’t belong ANYWHERE with my views. :S
My dad’s a retired cop, so we had guns all over the house. Our live-in housekeeper had a hellion grandchild that the family didn’t control — the mom was the police dispatcher, which is how we got her mom as our housekeeper — and one time my dad left a gun out. Chuckie, who was about nine years old at the time, grabbed the gun, with my sisters and I trailing along saying, “Chuckie, you aren’t supposed to touch the guns!” Well, he ran upstairs and pointed it at his mother. She took it away from him and about had a heart attack when she saw it was loaded.
Err, that first sentence is supposed to read that having a gun in your home to protect against intruders, burglars and in-home defense is laughable, at best, and doing very little but courting disaster. To be clear.
But that argument has no place in the Guns? Yes or No? argument, in my opinion.
This is one issue where Canada and the USA differs a LOT. We have such strict gun laws here that few people own them. When I grew up way up North, lots of people had them for hunting, but that was it. Nobody just kept a gun in their house and I don’t know a soul who figures that they want to own one because it’s their right.
I admit that when we were on vacation in Colorado and the Wal Mart sold guns was something we thought was weird. AND then, the young, obviously very excited young man who was fawning over them freaked us out so much that we left. Not to mention the fact that the couple screaming at each other and obviously having a fist fight a few hotel rooms away scared the crap out of us because we expected guns to be pulled out at any moment.
Things are unpredictable in the USA. People can own guns, and that, I think, is what scares some Canadians because for us, guns aren’t a part of our culture. They are completely a non issue.
I would never have a gun in my house-but like I said, it’s just not part of our culture here, either.
I can appreciate that the cultures are very different. It’s why so many Americans cannot for the life of them fathom how you all can survive with socialized medicine. (And they never believe me when I say you are pleased with it, either).
Don’t get toooo freaked out. Gun enthusiasts are usually just that. Enthusiasts. They get very excited over them and love talking about it. Sure, some people are just freaky but most aren’t ;P
I’m rather meh on guns. Growing up, my grandfather’s rifle was always mounted on the kitchen wall, so I don’t have a fear of them per se. I just don’t know how useful they’d be in a dangerous situation in your home. For instance, somebody breaks in in the middle of the night and you don’t realize it until they’re in your bedroom. Unless you have a gun unsecured by your bedside, it’s not going to be a whole lot of help. Perhaps a can of mace would be better.
I just moved out of a really bad neighborhood and still at no point thought of having a gun.
Dougie. You always make me smile my head off when you pop up!
Also?
It’s 2010, dude. Update your freaking blog. Hee hee hee.
xoxoxoxoxoxo
Part Two … Sorry, I accidentally “sent” before I finished.
My dad had left that particular gun out on purpose, since none of us girls ever touched his guns, and the bullets were blanks. Dad did it as a lesson to the mother who let spoiled Chuckie have the run of someone else’s house.
But blanks at close range can cause a lot of damage, as we know.
Even more alarming, a large percentage of guns used in crimes are obtained through residential burglaries.
That said, I know my cop dad was itching for a chance to be a hero and kill some little punk who threatened his family. He taught us never to point a gun at someone unless you intended to shoot them, and if you do shoot a person, shoot to kill.
But the “don’t touch the guns” message was too strong for me, and I became a raving liberal who really won’t touch guns now! (Knives also scare me.)
“That said, I know my cop dad was itching for a chance to be a hero and kill some little punk who threatened his family”
Yeah…that aspect falls under the “asshole Rambo” clause.
I stopped reading comments after the one that said guns won’t protect you – because I have been the victim of a home invasion.. and the police didn’t arrive fast enough. But I was able to protect myself. I was single and living alone. I shudder to think what would have happened had I not been armed.
I took 2 gun safety classes. Our gun is locked away, the ammunition is too. The key is not accessible to our child.
That being said, I would ask any parent if they had a gun before my child was allowed in their home, because even in our family I know of people who don’t store their gun safely.. therefore she isn’t allowed on the premises. I trust myself, I’ve educated my child. I will control where she goes to the best of my ability. We have had suicides in our family.. none of them have been with a gun. Anything can take a life in the wrong hands.
I love that you love guns.. but more that you are (as always) willing to put yourself on the line for a viewpoint.
This.
This right here.
It’s why I can’t utterly disagree with the defense argument. I have heard WAY too many stories like this to just say it’s utterly pointless. (With the caveat that I know damn well it is for ME. I wouldn’t have the reactions necessary, I don’t think.)
Good for you. That’s awesome.
All I can say is, put them in the locked gun safe. We read way more stories of kids shooting themselves with a gun they played with than somebody using a gun for defense at home. Way more. Story in our paper this morning about a cop at home, five year old found his duty gun. Those are the stories we don’t like to see, but happen way too much.
Ugh.
UGH.
See? While I can’t discount defense entirely, this is ALSO why I will never be comfortable with them here.
The way my head works is just awesome.
Blarg.
Hmmm….I’m thoughtful about this topic. I’m not sure I have a perfect opinion about this subject. But, see, I have a story to tell that I can’t quite separate from my decision making.
Five years ago in May my teenaged daughter’s best friend took her father’s service revolver and put to her temple and pulled the damn trigger. The grief was horrific. My heart still aches. The repercussions are still being felt. It changed our family. It stripped a part of my daughter from me.
There were a lot of crazy things in that girl’s household. After the fact, we now realize there was obviously depression. So I know that (to be totally trite) the gun didn’t kill her, she killed herself. BUT I still wonder what would have happened if the gun wasn’t in the house. In her case, the gun wasn’t in a safe, but it was unloaded and the ammunition was in a very-difficult-to-get-to spot. She still knew she had the tools needed right there in her home to kill herself.
So now I’m going to bore you. IF there is a gun in the house, the statistics say that there is a greater chance of a successful suicide. That is pretty freaky news to me. Then you go to teen suicide sites and they say that suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death in 15-24 yr olds (World Health Organization). Again, freaky news.
BUT we are considering getting a gun. I have always been a wuss when it comes to having a gun. I’ve never even held one. Probably later this year, we’ll go through the gun safety courses and eventually there will be a gun in our home. We’ll also get one of those biometric gun safes.
What can I say? I’m not even certain how I’ve come to the decision to finally (after 22 years of marriage) say “OK” to having a gun in the house.
I AM certain that I’m glad you brought this up and had the guts to have this discussion! You, Miss Loralee, rock!
pipping up about the pool.
I have a pool. It’s child-proof. In fact, it’s almost mom proof.
I have fish for kids, so if they go to someone’s home that has a pool, I am not worried for a second.
I have never heard of someone drowning on purpose (suicide) in a pool before. I could be totally wrong and living a sheltered life, but is that even possible?
The super scary thing I am dealing with, besides the special needs kids, are my typical kids with impulsivity issues and I think they get them for me.
I am one of those people that stands on a bridge, or a tall building, and I am afraid I might jump. I don’t even trust my own judgement near a ledge. I know I am not alone in this feeling, but knowing I might snap, for a split second, and shoot myself, freaks me out. I don’t even like to be around guns.
… however, I swim everyday and have never once thought, maybe I will try and take a breath under this water. Just my thoughts.
Guns are your thing.
Water is mine.
Because I guarantee you that water freaks me out more than being around guns. It’s highly individual. And yes…I thought about committing suicide in a pool, Sandi. Seemed fitting. But I thought of lots and lots of ways.
I will TOTALLY give you the suicide angle. Totally. Not smart or safe. TOTALLY.
I was thinking more about the “is my average child safe with a gun in the house”. I argue that they are as, if not more, safe than a home with a pool. Even with “Child proof” locks. My guns have locks. Many gun owners use locks. They can also slip up and forget to lock them or leave them out, but how often does the gate to a pool get open, closed, an adults back is turned for “just a minute” with a kid around a pool or hot tub? Because guaranteed that pool is more used, that gate is more opened than my guns. The chance for a slip up could be much higher, IMO.
Your pool is no safer than my guns for kids, IMO.
Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t let the kiddies come over and play, though.
And that is why its a totally personal decision. I would never have guns in my house, you would never have a pool. But thank God we can still be friends. Love you to pieces even if you are carrying a weapon.
LOL.
Woman…you know that nothing you could say do or think would make me love you any less either. xo
Ok. This is something I am VERY conflicted about…
As you know, my dad shot himself and then my 2 brothers w/a hunting rifle.
It came out of nowhere.
Like snow in Miami in July.
But the guns where there.
I will never know if it would have happened if he wasn’t such an avid hunter and always had guns.
Us kids were all very educated about the guns. Me, being the oldest, I didn’t even know where they were stored. He didn’t clean then or show them off in front of us. They were just a part of him. He grew up with a shotgun on his shoulder. (And something else when he got shipped off to Vietnam at 19 years old.) When we would go visit his parent’s home in a VERY rural Georgia area there was a mud-room full of guns. FULL. All over the walls. Different various hunting items. Deep freezers. And more guns. Just like, out. That’s the way you grew up around there, on thousands of acres of farm, hunting, and logging land. My dad always had guns.
I struggle with the gun issue a lot. At first I thought I should become an advocate against guns in homes…do something for my brothers. But honestly, even after losing them all to gunfire, I still feel like I am not sure.
I am very comfortable with a gun, mostly handguns, but the thought of using a gun for self defense definitely scares me, but I have no doubt in my “Fight or Flight” response. I FIGHT. So, not sure that would be good for me either. That’s one of the reasons we don’t have any guns in our house. I am just too unsure, and don’t need extra worry.
When we were at my mom’s last week on vacation I was offered a gun. There were several in the house. I saw my mom accept an old Colt 45 that was my grandpa’s, from his wife who drove a few hours to give it to her. (OK and to see us.)
When I saw it, I felt bile rise up in my throat, because I worry about her. I worry having something readily available, something could happen. She has been through a lot. She has lost 2 children. She says every morning is like “50 First Dates” when she wakes up she reminds herself they are gone. So I definitely understand that worry.
I don’t think what dad did was pre-meditated. That is my choice, to believe whatever I want, because no one will ever know. So, if the guns weren’t so readily available, would they still be here? I really don’t know.
So in summation of my hideously long comment it, I am conflicted too. I TOTALLY get where you are coming from. In fact I think we may be sharing the same piece of fence.
There just are not words here.
I’ve been sitting here trying and trying to think of what the hack to say to you. (I am so clueing in to how people feel about half the stuff I post online.Oy.)
That is the most unspeakable tragedy.
Your poor mother. My heart just breaks five billion times for her. Then it breaks some more.
For all of you.
I cannot even begin to guess or defend or do anything here but say I am so, so sorry. xoxoxo
I did want to add, that after reading this comment, part of my anti-gun stance comes from my work in child abuse, and the fact that the story above is way too common. And maybe it is just too easy to fault the gun. I know that. And I know that people kill people, not guns. But guns make it easier. IMHO.
@Lu@masmom’s-I am so, so sorry for your loss. Please know that.
Exactly @jodifur. I KNOW it was a person, not a gun that did it. I just can’t help but wonder if they weren’t readily available, would it have happened at all? Something I will never know, but too questionable for me to have guns in my home. But I grew up KNOWING people kill people, not guns. Just like it’s not *really* Dunkin’ Donuts’ fault I am fat.
I 100% agree with you. And that is why I am 100% anti gun.
I believe in fight, flight or FREEZE – sadly, I’m in the freeze camp, and it makes me sad to know that I’d be the first one picked off were we back in caveman deal-with-predators times. So please don’t feel alone – we’d all be jaguar snacks!
Also, I really respect the nuanced opinion you have. I wish that more people really assessed the risks involved with gun ownership this seriously. Many people know the statistics about being likely to be hurt w/ your own gun, but those can be dismissed because a lot of people who own guns don’t take precautions. I’m personally curious, though, as to the # of injuries and deaths that hapen in more responsible households – accidents are *accidents*, people like us who freeze are likely to have a gun taken from us, kids make stupid choices, and suicide *is* a reality.
As for the pool argument, a pool in the home would bring me tons of joy, and that’d outweigh the risks (though of course I’d minimize them) – it’s the same as cars and airplanes to me. As a peacenik, the # of situations in which I’d *want* to shoot someone are so vanishingly small, the gun would bring only worry. (Worry about accidents + worry about freezing + worry about NOT freezing and killing someone.)
Plus, I believe that most gun use and ownership is tied in with issues of power and violence – even responsible gun ownership. Most of the ways that we deal with violence in our society make me uncomfortable, and to me, guns are super tied into feeling dominant over others. As such, I’ve got a visceral negative reaction to boot.
I like the idea of storing guns off-site, but that involves stupid ongoing costs and wouldn’t address Jon’s feeling secure having weapons at home. I do like the compromise of a key that’s always on him – his responsibility, since he’s the one who wants to have them at home.
Well as you are adverse to guns you might not understand the pleasure and joy that can be involved. And yes, there is both in the Looney Tunes household. Want to see beaming sons that are fresh cheeked, laughing and full of “THAT WAS AWESOME” see them after a day target shooting with their father.
May not be your definition of pleasure and joy but I assure you there is a lot of it here. I love shooting a gun. It makes me smile.Even if I wince at the loud boom and kickback. (I’m kind of a girlie girl).
I cannot speak for any other gun owner but I am not motivated by power or violence as far as my ownership goes.
And yup..the off site thing is my preference but we run into the problems listed.
And Jonathan is a Concealed Carrier. And he believed STRONGLY in using it. So….yeah. Makes it more complicated.
Oh my gun loving fingers just typed and erased THE LONGEST RANT EVER!!! I will just politely write how grateful I am to live in a state where I can obtain a concealed weapon permit. (which I have) Okay… I am going to re-rant…. But just a little. People shouldn’t be worrying about my legally purchased and carried firearm… I am not the one who is going to shoot you. Worry about illegal firearms… I know I do. Make background checks more comprehensive. Not everyone should have the right to a gun. But don’t take away my right because of the illegal or irresponsible actions of a few. K…. Rant completed because I likely said way too much and will now get hate mail. Just remember people I love unicorns, baby animals, bumpits, and guns. I am well rounded like that.
Guns scare the living day lights out of me. I’ve never shot one, I’ve never held one, I never want to. Ever since my father shot himself I’ve become even more afraid of them and more aware of what they are capable of (not that I didn’t really know before, it just hits you a little differently after something like that, is all).
That being said, I don’t begrudge people their right to own them, I don’t completely understand why they would want to, but I’m okay with it. I would prefer if every home was free of guns but I know that will never happen. If guns are going to be in homes it should be in home where the people are educated, and understand the risks and the steps necessary to safe guard them. Which, it sounds like you guys do. If I were you, I wouldn’t want the guns in my house. The risks are too many and the emotional baggage too much for me to be okay with them.
I never gave guns a single thought until I had kids. I grew up around hunters, married a man who is not a hunter. Fast forward to about 10 years ago, when he took a new job and was required to train with and carry a firearm, at least some of the time. THEN I thought about guns, with toddlers in the house. For awhile he had to bring it home from work every day, but he kept in unloaded and in a locked box. I was still paranoid, and more than thrilled when he was able to keep it at work and only carry as needed. I don’t argue with anyone’s right to have a gun, and some people may actually be able to use one if God forbid they have to. I would not be able to, because I would be one to take flight. My fear is always for my kids.
As a somewhat rational adult :), I knew that there was no way my toddlers could either find that gun, or open the case, or load it. No way. But I have teenagers now, and I have seen firsthand how bad it can get when a teenager is depressed and wants to hurt himself. There have been moments when I know in my heart that if he could have found a weapon, he would have tried desperately to use it. Those moments pass, but the thought of any child having access to a weapon when they are in that kind of darkness scares me to death. I grew up in a household gripped by depression and violent behavior, and I could never take a chance like that.
I worry about my kids going to there friends’ houses and finding guns. I wouldn’t worry about my kids going to your house at all; you have sense enough to recognize and proactively prevent any possibility of danger. That is not always, or even often, the case. I have had friends who have found out after the fact that a grandpa had his guns out during a slumber party for very young girls – ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? But that’s what I fear, gun owners who either aren’t aware of the danger or just don’t think about it soon enough. That’s not you, and I thank you for that.
Great post and great discussion!
Most of the posts that I see here that are anti-gun start with “I’ve never had one” and end with “I fear them”. While I’m not suggesting that everyone become a gun owner, I would think that intelligent people may want to familiarize themselves before coming to such drastic conclusions, particularly the conclusions that infringe my rights.
I have a few points I’d like to make:
1. A firearm is a tool. It is not inherently evil. A gun no more kills people than spoons make people fat.
2. Few things are more useless than an unloaded gun. If you are going to have a self-defense gun, make it a pistol (contrary to popular belief that shotguns are great they are a two handed weapon and that’s not ideal for maneuvering, opening doors, using flashlights, grabbing kids, etc. Get a pistol. Get training. Practice regularly. Keep it loaded. Keep a flashlight near it. Keep them all in a GunVault. It’s a small safe that keeps prying hands away from the gun but you can access your pistol in a second. Make a plan with your family. Practice clearing your house when no one is home…KNOW YOUR ANGLES.
3. Demystify firearms to your kids. Teach them the four cardinal rules of gun safety and set a good example for them. (1. always treat every gun as if it’s loaded 2. Keep your finger off the trigger until you are ready to fire 3. Never point the firearm at anything you aren’t willing to destroy 4. Be sure of your target and what’s behind it.
4. As a whole, people who own guns aren’t ‘nuts’ or ‘freaks’. They simply like shooting, or marksmanship, or believe in taking their personal security and the safety of their family into their own hands. 911 WILL NOT SAVE YOU. I was a cop for many years…we’re there to take the report after in most cases, unfortunately. The police do not have an obligation to protect individuals. Supreme court has said that over and over…Of course we will if we can, but that’s not our primary role.
I’m sure I’ll think of a few more…I’m a wee bit tired and I’m sure my grammar sucks at the moment.
I 100% agree with everything said above… 100%.
The cops can’t get there automatically when you call 9-11. It usually takes at least 15 mins for them to arrive… sometimes much longer.
Amen.
Yes, guns are a tool BUT guns were designed specifically to kill. Spoons were not created with the intention of making people fat. I think the main argument against guns (in my opinion) is that if guns were not around, people would be LESS LIKELY to kill other people – and themselves. It takes a lot more …something… to kill someone up close and personal than it does to kill with a gun – guns take away the need to get close to your victim & are a lot easier to use on impulse.
I don’t think that most people who own guns are nuts or freaks. My biggest fear is that gun owners are human and apt to make mistakes. The more often you use a gun (take it out and put it away), the more likely you are to forget one step (unloading, locking it up) at some point. And all it takes it one mistake. How many times have you heard someone say “I ALWAYS do (such and such) and the ONE TIME I DIDN’T (something horrible happened).”
Also, as someone who tried to kill herself as a teenager, I can tell you that if there had been a gun in my home I WOULD have found a way to get it one way or another and I would have used it (on myself) without hesitation. I will never have a gun in my home – ever. It’s as much a deal breaker in my marriage as drug use or physical/sexual/emotional abuse would be.
As an aside and related more to the discussion rather than this specific post…
I haven’t looked this up so I’m asking out of curiosity, not trying to stir anything up. Regarding the pool statistics – do more kids die from pool accidents because more kids have access to pools? Or is it a ratio/percentage thing? Because it seems to me that it could be like the plane thing – “You are more likely to die in a car crash than a plane crash but that’s because the typical human takes a lot more car rides than plane rides” – I think percentage-wise the statistics might read differently. Does that make sense?
My son went to his first solo birthday party today. I spoke with the parents of the birthday boy about 3 things: I informed them of my son’s peanut allergy, I gave them my phone number in case of emergency and I asked about guns. (I could see that there was no pool.) Kids are prone to doing stupid things EVEN WHEN THEY KNOW A THING IS STUPID AND WRONG. Kids WILL try to impress their friends and unfortunately a great many kids find guns impressive. Whenever I think about this all I can picture is that scene in Dead Poets Society.
Of course, I’m a super lefty liberal who thinks trees are the bees’ knees and rarely eats meat. For the record though, I did grow up around guns and learned to shoot at a fairly young age. However, I NEVER enjoyed it. (Just so you know where I’m coming from.)
One more thing and then I’ll zip it…. A few months ago I was sitting in my living room around 1 in the morning and a guy I didn’t know came into my home. He thought it was his place (I used to live in one of those neighborhoods where all the buildings look the same, yuck) and he HAD A KEY. I heard him coming, I heard him fiddling with the door trying to get in, I had PLENTY OF TIME to call the police, get out the back door, wake my husband, what have you. (And I didn’t know his key was a match at the time – I thought he was just trying to break in, it could have been 6 people out there for all I knew!) Did I do any of that? No. I sat there, shaking so much that I couldn’t stand and I did NOTHING, I couldn’t even scream. I thank the gods every freaking day that he was non-violent (in fact, I think he was just as shaken as I was because he thought that I was sitting in *his* home in my pajamas!) because if he had been? I couldn’t have done a damn thing. I also thank the gods that I was not an active gun owner with a ‘fight’ response. Because if I had been, I would have shot that guy and hated myself for it for the rest of my life.
If I may remind, the first recorded murder weapon was a rock. The ideology that if there were no guns people wouldn’t be murdered by them is in part true. However, a quick look at the murder rate in the UK or other “control states” would show an increase in “Baseball bat homicides”, or stabbings.
This is a great post, great discussion.
I don’t hate guns. I like the “guns don’t kill people, just like spoons don’t make people fat”, analogy. I don’t hate guns, I hate people who use guns to hurt other people. Sometimes that happens accidentally, which I believe to be both tragic and 100% avoidable. I believe guns can be stored safely. Yes, it can be expensive to do the biometric safes and all that jazz. But they’re GUNS and they’re YOUR CHILDREN so you spring for that, right?
I grew up in a rural area in northern Michigan and hunting was prevalent amongst my peers and their parents. Guns were present in the homes of many of my friends but not in mine. No one in those homes ever told me anything about those guns. My Mother told me not to touch them and I never did but I knew kids who did and I know that they weren’t always unloaded. It made me nervous when that happened, but I was too afraid of being thought “uncool” to leave or to say anything. Do I think my folks should have been a bit more on the ball about that? Yeah, I do. I was a kid and it was their job to keep me safe and we all got lucky.
I do plan to ask other parents if they have guns in their home before I allow my child to play there (she’s 15 months, so there’s aren’t any solo playdates going on yet) and depending on how those guns are stored, she’ll either be allowed to go or not.
{In fact this post just prompted a discussion between me and my Dad about whether there are any guns up at our family’s lake house (there are not), which we’re taking my daughter to for the first time in August. So thank you!}
We don’t have guns and I doubt we ever will. But if my husband ever developed a desire to learn to shoot I would absolutely support that as long as it was done safely.
PS, you look pretty hot with yours. Just sayin.
I don’t like having guns in my house either and I am from Wyoming where EVERYONE owns at least 5 of them. To make me feel more comfortable my husband went to our local Sheriff’s Department and they gave him trigger locks for free. It’s a safe gun program they run. He stores the keys to the trigger locks in a separate room in a safe place (the kids don’t know where they are) and the ammo is not stored near the gun safe. I don’t really know how much safer you can get. If something is going to happen I’m not sure any of that will be enough. Kids are smart and they tend to know even the most closely guarded of secrets.
My hubby just bought an assault rifle a couple of months ago and when I was a little nervous while he was out of town a few weeks ago, my MIL allowed as how all I had to do if someone broke in was break that puppy out and loaded or not loaded it would scare the bejeezus out of an intruder. Not sure if that’s true but I did sleep better after that. (We recently bought a new house and for some reason I feel a little exposed here).
Anyway, my point is if kids want to get to them they are gonna get to them so I think the best defense is a good offense. My 10 year old is very well educated regarding guns and is just waiting for a spot to open up in hunter safety so he can take the class.
There’s more I could say but it wouldn’t help you feel better, so I’ll just say you have to do what you’re comfortable with and I think educating kids is better than just hoping they don’t come in contact with a gun.
Our situations are very similar. Well, I haven’t ever shot or even HELD a gun in my life. This isn’t because I was opposed to them, simply my upbringing and situation never brought me into contact with them. My husband grew up in Wyoming and he did grow up with them and has a deep love of them as well. He shot on a team in college, has gone hunting, etc and so forth. He knows the value of shooting safely and well. He had a gun at his parents house that he wanted to bring to our home. He finally, after over 10 years of marriage, did. He bought a gun safe, installed it and put the gun in it. I know it’s there. I’m not 100% comfortable with it either. I’m happy it’s in a safe though. I might feel better if it weren’t here at all. But I trust my husband and I trust him to show our kids the proper and safe handling of a gun when they’re old enough to learn, just as he was taught. But still, I know I will feel nervous.
I think it’s a pretty natural response. Especially when you’ve seen how life can pull the rug out from underneath you when you least expect it.
I’m a pretty hardcore Democrat. But I don’t think that means people should have their guns taken away. If someone wants to have them, and store and use them safely, then more power to ‘em. After all, don’t they say guns don’t kill people, people kill people? ;)
Thanks for posting this, Loralee. I would never fault someone for posting something that they believe and that is on their mind. :)
I grew up with a dad who hunts. He keeps at least two guns in his home now, where my children often go to play. The difference between now and then is that dad’s guns are in a locked safe. When I was growing up, the pistol was in the dresser by his bed and the rifle was underneath the bed. He also had more guns then, and the hunting rifle with the scope which we were not allowed to touch was kept in a case.
Dad taught us how to shoot and handle guns, but it was never a hobby or a passion for me.
I’m not opposed to gun ownership, but I believe in responsible gun ownership, in trigger locks and gun safes. Guns should never be available to children without supervision, kids and young adults should not be allowed to touch a gun PERIOD without proper training in gun safety.
I don’t personally own a gun now and because I have children I am very likely not ever to do so. I wouldn’t use a gun for personal protection and I don’t hunt, so I don’t see any reason to take the risk. I have dogs, large and loud dogs. And a police officer living right across the street and a federal marshall living three doors down. I pity the poor fool who tries to enter my house uninvited.
If you are interested in an interesting commentary I recommend watching “Bowling for Columbine.” If you can stand watching Michael Moore, the interesting thing is that what I thought would be an outright sermon on how “guns are bad” turned rather into an indictment of the media frenzy and how American media makes Americans afraid and therefore more likely to be hostile. Canadians across the border from the US in some areas own as many as or more guns per capita than Americans, but their death rates from guns are incredibly lower. MM goes at length into interpreting the answer, though I know not everyone will share his perspective. I think it’s worthwhile watching, whether you love or hate Michael Moore.
Hi, Wife of Brent here…
it sounds like we’re similar to L and J – Brent likes having guns in the house and I hate it with the fires of 1000 suns – particularly now that we have a mobile child in the home. I just don’t think there’s really going to be a time when you’ll use your guns for home protection – unless the news announces a scheduled zombie takeover and then, well… all bets are off.
I know that I come from a long line of guilt-tripping women (my mother could have been a travel agent for guilt trips) but I just immediately see all sorts of things that could go wrong, none of which would be worth it. It’s the same reason I don’t leave my young son alone in the bathroom when he’s in the tub. You have to learn from others’ mistakes because you can’t possibly make them all yourself (and stay alive/sane/mobile).
I’ll go to a shooting range myself – I’ve shot an M50 and IT WAS AWESOME. But I don’t like them in my house.
That being said, I also don’t want to pay for a temp controlled off-site storage unit just so Brent has a place to have his guns. He does go shooting out in the boondocks with his best friend quite regularly. So I live in denial and the guns live (unloaded) in the basement. (in my defense, we’ve only had our son 2 months and we can’t open the basement door, so I’m OK with not having a gun safe yet. We will be getting one, though, I’m sure)
I am terrified of guns. There are no guns in our home, and I doubt there ever will be. I respect the right for others to own guns, but if my child is coming to your house to play, I need to know where the guns are kept in your house and that they are locked away where there is no chance of a child getting their hands on it. My child’s safety is more important to me than offending you by asking to see that the gun is locked away.
We have guns, in a big old gun safe in which our children never have or will know the code to get in. That is about the only way I feel comfortable with guns in the house with my kids also being in the house…just not safe any other way imo.
I know that feeling of do I want/need a gun or is it too dangerous for me in my mental state (I have clinical depression) and with my 2 year old niece around? I still don’t have a gun, but my general feeling is that a shotgun/rifle that only holds one or two bullets, would probably be the safest option. After all, the deterrent effect of a gun is a benefit – it would be better if you never had to shoot a gun.
I love guns, I shoot guns (at a range), I own guns and I have a concealed carry permit that I use on occasion. I’ve never pointed gun in the direction of another living thing, and I pray that I will never need to, but if it was absolutely necessary to save the life of me or my family I also pray that I could. I have two small children and I have guns in the house. I had a cousin who was raised with guns and at 12 years old he took his dad’s shot gun (he locked only the bullets) and his friend took his dad’s bullets (he locked only the guns) and went into the woods to shoot at cans as targets. My cousin was accidentally killed by his best friend – both families were changed forever. My husband and I are very serious about how we store our guns and bullets. We have a gun safe which is kept in a room with a keyed lock. The gun we keep for self defense is in our bedroom out of site in another small safe. Having guns is an awesome responsibility and those not comfortable with it shouldn’t have them. I would also say that those who don’t feel comfortable with guns shouldn’t judge those who do own and use them responsibly – cars are also deadly weapons… I am not offended if people coming to our home inquire about guns, although I am usually the one to offer the information first. I also ask if I’m going to someone’s home with my kids. There was a time I was terrified of guns, then I learned how to take them apart, put them together, and know with absolute certainty that they are unloaded and safe. Before I knew it I was getting into competition shooting.
I’m *sure* someone else has already mentioned this but there are 95 comments and I’m whiney tired so…
You can get blanks and put them ahead of the real thing for defense purposes and so it will just make a big noise if a kid *does* happen to get ahold of it. As for keeping them from the kids? All I can say is that my dad had guns when I was little and we were told very thoroughly never to touch them. But I requested and recieved a bb gun of my own at age 12. I like to think that it kept me from getting overly curious about the real guns, but every kid is different. Good Luck Loralee :)
Oh my, there are a lot of comments up there…
My husband has one gun – a shotgun he uses for skeet shooting once a month during the summer. It’s not loaded (nor are there shells around – he buys on his way to the shoot). It’s under his workbench in the garage (um, I think). The boys have been shown the gun and he’s talked to them about never touching.
He’s said he wants a handgun and I have always said no.
That said, I’ve always wanted to go to a range and learn to shoot, just to see what it is really like.
So there you go, a non-opinion comment, I guess. hehe.