When I was 6 I tried to tell my friend, Roger, that the Easter Bunny didn’t exist.
“My mom says that the Easter Bunny is really just your parents and that Easter is too sacred a holiday to have a fake bunny in it.”
“You’re a piece of crap liar! D-A-A-A-A-D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LORALEE SAYS THAT HER MOM SAYS THAT THE EASTER BUNNY IS REALLY JUST YOU AND MOM AND THAT YOU ARE MAKING HIM UP!”
“She’s a piece of crap, liar, son. And so is her mother. The Easter Bunny is real!”
(Roger’s dad was a TOTAL TOOL and our families did not get along, but that is a story for another day.)
My mother is an extremely devout Mormon. Mormons don’t have a stance against the Easter Bunny or anything, not at ALL, but as a faith they take the resurrection of Christ very seriously. Not that other religions take it LIGHTLY, but LDS people don’t even “do” crosses. At all. Not on hymnals, buildings, or on jewelery. They prefer to concentrate on the miracle of Christ rising again instead of concentrating on the symbol of his death. As someone put it, “If your brother died in a car accident would you want everyone using a smashed up car as a symbol of them?” (I can see that point but I have also found the comfort and solace people take in crosses very sweet and I am not bashing the use of it AT ALL. I know that it means more than the crucifixion to people. I’m just explaining, in an awkward way, how it is that I wasn’t allowed to believe in the Easter Bunny growing up.)
So, basically—my mom thought that Easter was too sacred a holiday to allow us to believe in the Easter Bunny.
We still got baskets and did egg hunts and the like, but there was no magical, mythical feeling about it.
We knew it was mom and dad.
I felt a little gypped when I was littler but not really. We were allowed to believe in the tooth fairy and Santa Clause, so it was all good.
When I had children, knowing that even though I attended church I did not have NEAR the spiritual level of my mother, I decided to let Jonathan decide what we would do with Easter. His mom is also UTTERLY devout in the LDS religion and he grew up believing in the Easter Bunny and wanted the same for our children.
I agreed, no harm no foul.
We haven’t attended church regularly as a family for 7 years, but we make sure our kids go.
They will be there at Easter, we will not. (Unless there is a program and they are in it. Then? We go.)
But we will dye eggs and hide them and put chocolate and books and toys in baskets with that SUPER ANNOYING GREEN PLASTIC GRASS THAT YOU FIND FOR MONTHS AROUND THE HOUSE NO MATTER HOW DAMN WELL YOU VACUUM and have it waiting for them when they come home. Compliments of a furry little bunny.
So, what about you?
Do you “do” the Easter Bunny in your house? Did you growing up? Do you participate in Easter at all? (Obviously, I am not referring to my lovely Jewish friends, here. Although, I would love it if you chimed in about your culture and religion. It fascinates me.)
I was really unsure, being an atheist I sort of feel guilty for stealing someone’s holiday (Christmas we absolutely paint as giving without expecting to receive and being generous with lots of community giving, adopted families, etc). I like celebrating spring, but I figure we do that by going outside and playing.
However, we’re doing it. Sort of to fit in, sort of to make sure she’s not the kid telling others there is no bunny. We are making it personal there is a (damn) bunny that lives (eats my garden) in our back yard. He/she is now the Easter bunny. Might as well do something with that thing (other than make bunny stew).
This actually came up for me this week because I was doing a review of an Easter Bunny costume and had my daughter dressed up. And I felt a little guilty about it, because I’m a Christian and believe strongly in the significance of Easter. But I’ve decided that dressing up is okay, and I’ll probably do Easter baskets at some point, but they’re always going to be from us and not from the Easter Bunny. Same thing for Christmas and Santa Claus- we’ll explain to our kids what some kids believe and ask them not to ruin it for others, but won’t do it ourselves.
I grew up in a very religious Pentecostal Christian home, where Easter and Christmas were THE holidays of the year. My parents allowed us to believe in the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus. I remember crafting elaborate letters to each of them (of course-me, the writer) and getting amazing chocolate in return. We often went on downhill ski vacations over Easter as well. Lots of good memories of Easter actually, because even though it was an important religious holiday my family made it all about fun and spending time together.
When Jake was little we did the whole bunny thing minus the religious significance. Now that he’s a teenager, I still get him chocolate and fun stuff for an Easter basket, but he knows it’s from me. We spend the weekend together as a family having fun.
We believed in the Easter bunny growing up in a Christian household. We also learned about the death and resurrection of Christ. For some reason, as a kid, I separated the two things entirely even though they were celebrated on the same day.
As for my daughter, I’ll be doing the same. This year will be the first year we try to kind of explain Jesus to her. She’s 3, so most of it will go over her head, but I know that my faith in Jesus came early to me, and it helped me through a lot growing up.
What do you mean “believe in the Easter Bunny”? Are you insinuating that the Easter Bunny is someone in whom I should NOT believe? WTF? Who ARE you? I will not stand for such blatant, irresponsible anti-bunny heresy.
And by the way, I’m Jewish, and so Easter is just, you know, a Sunday that happens to fall somewhere within the Passover week. While we’re busy munching on utterly inedible crackers with the consistency of wallboard, we realize the rest of you are merrily rolling eggs across your lawns, going on an on about mythical rabbits as if you expect Harvey to rise from the Big Pumpkin Patch, and wearing remarkably cute, quaintly old fashioned bonnets. Bonnets are going to return as a key fashion accessory one of these days, I’m sure, and when they do, Easter will be a huge freakin’ deal, because you’ll have bunnies with bonnets, and that’ll be a serious hootenanny.
Meanwhile, my tribe is still stuck in frog, boil, locusts, slaying of the first born, Red Sea suddenly looking like an empty stretch of Rt 66 land. And don’t forget the wallboard. Anyone who tells you that you can make pizza with wallboard is flat out lying to you, they’re delusional, or they’re hopped up on a sugar and caffeine high from the chocolate eggs they stole from their goyim (non-Jewish) friends.
However, we do have Charlton Heston, pre-you can pry this from my cold dead hands. Killer robe he had with him at the top of that mountain, you’ve gotta admit. I want me one o’ those (the robe, not the mountain), but I’ve never seen them sold in the wallboard aisle, and believe you me, I’ve LOOKED.
Just wondering, do you serve Easter Bunny with a mint sauce? Mashed potatoes? Corned beef and cabbage? Inquiring minds want to know.
BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!
David, I was so, SO hoping that you would pipe up here!!!!
(I was so not disappointed. Hehehehe!)
That is freakin awesome! LMAO
Easter bunny is good with bacon and peas. :)
I am the only Mormon in my family. Growing up- we never ever attended church. We had Easter though… sort of.. not really a big deal- we’d leave our empty baskets next to our bed the night before and wake up to a few treats. I don’t recall any “Easter dinners” and never had an Easter dress, which made me positively green with envy toward my friends who got a lovely new one every year. Although… where would I have worn to anyway since we didn’t go to church?… but still. It wasn’t until I was in middle school that I even knew that Easter had anything to do with Christ or his resurrection!
So now- 3 kids, active, yet hardly devout in my Mormonism (I believe- I’m just not as enthusiastic about it as I probably “should” be)- the EB brings it BIG TIME, although we’re sure to get out our ressurection eggs every year and discuss the real reason for Easter- and you can bet that my girls get new dresses every year! I searched high and low for fabulous new outfits this year. Although, if I were a little more devout at church, I would have realized that this Easter is General Conference. We get GC on cable here, so no one actually goes to church to watch it anymore, although you can if you want to…so now… I’m halfway tempted to go watch the morning session at church, just so my girls will have an excuse to wear their new dresses… how absurd is that?!?
I am agnostic, but I love the more pagan side of the season so we are big into the Easter Bunny.
I always worry, no offense, that some snot-nose kid is going to ruin it for my girls. While I don’t think that Roger’s father should have spoken to you like that, I am glad he addressed it with you directly and let his boy still ‘believe’.
I’m not proud of the fact that I blew the whistle and outed the Easter Bunny but I have GOT to disagree with you here to a point.
First off, I was 6.
And he was a tool.
So, was it ok for Roger’s father to tell me that MY parent’s were lying to me? When he knew they were telling me the truth and that the Easter Bunny is basically a lie? Does that really seem cool to you?
I think a MUCH better solution is to say, “They can believe what they want and that is ok. In our house, we believe in the Easter Bunny” or something else??
Would you think it was ok if an adult told your girls that you were lying to them when you blatantly were not? See what I am saying here?
Well, I don’t think he should have spoken to you like that but basically, you went and countered something that Rogers parents told him as truth so I think that standing up for the beliefs he puts on his kids was the way to go. Even if it implied that your parents were incorrect. You had the chance to go home and talk to your parents about it and it is up to them to solve that issue for you, not Roger’s father.
I am seeing a lot of flaws in this logic because at the end of the day, my parents were not lying to me? Surely that trumps here? I still maintain a better call would have been to talk to him privately instead of making me feel shame and embarrassment for telling the truth. (Even if it was all bunny wet-blanket of me. I wasn’t meaning to be hurtful to him.)
If he was still upset, he could have called my parents to have them remind me not to ruin the fun for others. I just think that is a way better call.
Especially as my parents were the ones being honest with me? (NOT condemning people here. I let my kids believe in the bunny remember but dude…there comes a point.)
ummmm, and you were SIX!!!! Can’t see how that could be your fault… ever heard of a 6 year old that didn’t get in a bit of a squabble with another kid who told them something that they didn’t believe to be true?
I grew up Roman Catholic, and we totally did the Easter Bunny – and Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy and the Great Pumpkin and the Great Gobbler and Leprechauns, etc. My mom is VERY festive, and the magic that surrounded holidays when I was a kid was just incredible, I am so thankful to her for that!
I really want to find a way to do the same for my children.
However, I don’t think I am going to be comfortable with the Easter Bunny for my kids. (I’m now pregnant with my first!) This is no way indicts my mom’s faith, but because of my strong Christian faith I just don’t think I am comfortable with anythink that might commercialize or trivialize what the day commemorates. I think baskets and candy and egg-hunts are all fine because part of Easter is celebrating new life, the life of Resurrection and the life of Spring all around us. I just think maybe the Bunny goes to far. At least with Santa Claus I can tie him in with St. Nicholas, who was a real guy who really gave gifts to the poor. I just can’t think of a way to spiritualize the Easter Bunny.
By the way, the way my mom handled it when people told me Santa or the Easter Bunny wasn’t real was to tell me that once you stop believing, he stops coming to your house. But parents sometimes keep up with it. I totally bought that, and she didn’t have to accuse my friends of lying. ;)
(P.S. I have a question for you that is probably more suited to the March 11 post, but I’ll ask it here since that is from weeks ago. Have your kids questioned why they go to church but not you? Do you think that your example of not going to church will end up being influential in their decision later in life? Do you think the kids will think its hypocritical? If they tell you they don’t want to go anymore, will you allow that? I am not asking these questions in anyway to criticize or judge, just sincerely wondering how you handle that. Peace and Happy Easter!)
Sure, my kids question me all the time why I do not go to church. And I respond and talk to them about it (Basically that faith and choice is a very individual choice. And that I love them and will support them but I am not where church is a choice I am going to make right now. And some of the reasons I don’t attend are none of their business and also a grown up matter.)
I would like to think that my example will be that I want them to be happy and be comfortable. If that means going to church? Fine. If it means it isn’t a good fit for them? Also fine. Humans are all different and shouldn’t all be shoved in one box, IMO.
My kids may find it hypocritical, but I don’t think so. I am not presenting it as a “do as I say not as I do”. They know I grew up going to church. They know I used to go. They know I am an adult and I have told them I think it’s important that they go so that they can be informed enough to make the decision about their lives later on. And I hold to that. Personally…I find it WAY WAY more hypocritical to attend when I absolutely know it is not the right choice for me.
If my children don’t want to go I am not going to force them. They want to. They want to be there. I allow it. I hated being forced to go to church and truthfully, I don’t think it did me any favors. I am going on my example only…everyone is different and reacts to things differently. (Which is a lot of my point here).
Hope I answered all your questions. I don’t mind being asked at all and I don’t consider them to be judgmental at all. Happy Easter to you as well. :)
My parents (well, my dad) made the decision to let us (the kids) decide what “spiritual” path to follow as well. He never even raised an eyebrow when I said “Dad, I want to check out the Baptist/Lutheran/Catholic/LDS… church”. In the end, it was option “None of the above” for me, but I so appreciate being given the choice. If your kiddos ask to attend a church of a different faith, is that also cool with you?
The only reason I would object is if they were too little to go alone. Then? I would. Because I have no interest in attending different churches (been there done that).
But as a general question? No, I wouldn’t care, frankly. My husband might but I can only speak for me.
I’m a Christian, and Easter has always played a very huge part in my faith, and in my family. That being said, I can’t remember if I ever actually believed in the Easter Bunny growing up, but we always got 1lb chocolate bunnies on Easter, so I was always happy. :) We definitely believed in Santa Claus and the tooth fairy, but I don’t think the Easter bunny was ever on the same level of importance as those other two, so it didn’t really matter too much. As long as I got that chocolate bunny, I was a happy camper. :)
I didn’t believe in any of the magical, mythical creatures growing up. Not like it was banned from our household, but I think my mom just thought the whole thing was silly since SHE never believed in any of them. (Not that her parents didn’t try… I think she just thought they were stupid for expecting her to believe any of it.) I sort of ended up being the same way. In first grade, I got into a debate with a few of my classmates where I laid out my evidence as to why Santa Claus was NOT real. My teacher finally had to pull me aside and explain to me why it wasn’t such a good idea to be telling my classmates that. Yeah… I was kind of a freak, I guess.
I am completely opposed to how the Easter Bunny makes kids feel entitled to gifts for a special occasion that is not about them (and I swear to you, the kids who expect to get leprechaun presents on St Patrick’s Day, I want to punch.)
If we’re talking about Christian kids, especially, the candy -AND GIFTS- entitlement just drives me nuts. It is so far removed from the point. Even talking about pagans who are just glad to celebrate spring… yay, spring, here have a bunch of toys and candy?
Plus, if you’re getting gifts for your kids to make them happy, why not get credit for that?!
When we were little, we always got a special outfit in the spring, which we wore for the first time on Easter. This was actually pretty practical of my mom, since we usually needed one new light outfit and a pair of shoes (white dress shoes for the summer). We had these little ceramic baskets, and by little, I mean there was room for one Cadbury egg and a handful of jellybeans, and THAT’s IT. Mom and Dad made it clear that they were the ones who did it, and that just like we typically eat cake to celebrate birthdays – because it is a fun way to celebrate – the traditional food to eat on Easter was something that represented [rebirth, empty tomb, new beginnings, take your pick] by being shaped like an egg.
That way, they got to give us a gift, we got a little bit of celebration and excitement, and they generally tied it back to what it meant.
I cannot fathom how the Easter bunny myth would fit in with that.
My stepkids were 11 and 13 THIS PAST CHRISTMAS when they FIRST were told that there is no Santa Claus. I’m glad their mom got around to it because if she hadn’t, I totally would have had to be the bad guy. I can’t justify perpetuating a lie, even a pleasant one, that long.
So, perhaps that is coloring my view of the Easter bunny, tooth fairy, etc. I do not want that to happen with my own kids; Santa Claus is enough chances for my kid to think “my parents lied to me about this, what else did they lie about?”
Hopefully my kids will be able to understand that others feel differently, and to say “The Easter Bunny/Tooth Fairy/Great Pumpking/whatever doesn’t come to my house. My parents hide eggs that we dyed, and we look for them together.” instead of telling kids there is no easter bunny.
I am a devout Mormon and I grew up celebrating Easter, and the Easter bunny to it’s fullest. I guess I always knew somewhere deep down that it is impossible for a gigantic bunny to come hopping down the lane to give me treats, eggs and Spring dresses that magically fit perfectly. But, I never felt like having the Easter bunny visit took anything away from the sacred nature of the day. I think it’s entirely possible to have the two celebrated simultaneously and I intend to do it when I have children.
Hmmm, I remember lots of fun times associated with Easter. The story, the special meals, family get togethers, and yes, the bunny. I sorta think a little make believe for kids is fun and not hurtful. And at the time when they start questioning the validity, then you let them in on it. Im not sure kids really need to have the brutal truth 24/7. Let em have fun while they still can. They’ll have enough crap to deal with as big kids.
I guess if some kid told my kid about how the Bunny isn’t real, depending on the age of the kid, I might reveal the real ‘Bunny’. I’ve just never heard of any stories where some adult blames his crappy life on the revelation of the real ‘Bunny’.
Just doesn’t seem to be one of the pressing topics for me as a parent. In fact this comment is probably the longest I’ve ever thought about it.
But that’s just me.
LOL! I should track down Roger and ask if I ruined his life.
;P
We didn’t grow up with any kind of religion, but we still did the Easter Bunny, and even as an adult I still like to buy a chocolate bunny or an egg, because just the shape of the chocolate as I eat it holds a nostalgia for me…
Do you know in France they don’t have a bunny: they have a giant bell that ‘rings’ out chocolate things- they have chocolate chickens instead of chocolate bunnies!
So your Mom and Dad are the Easter Bunny! I am totally going to stay up and wait for them this year and give them a little something to take back to Utah for you.
that dad could have handled it better for sure. maybe something like “huh, well that’s weird. I know the easter bunny comes here.”
With our son I’ve been struggling with the whole “is it lying to him” to pretend in santa, easter bunny, etc. So we’ve been kind of talking about these as they’re “fun games” we play. The easter bunny game, the santa game, and the tooth pirate game- because that’s just way neater than the tooth fairy ;).
I just don’t want him to find out one day, from anyone, that his parents have been “lying” to him about something so important (because being able to have faith in something you can’t see, is important I think).
Also devout mormon and YES we do Easter Bunny. I did it growing up, my husband did it growing up and our children do it. I have friends that the Easter Bunny comes the Saturday before Easter to prevent the Easter Bunny/ Easter Day clash…but I don’t do that. I figure there comes a time in their life that the true Easter will be known and they can have that too…but for now they are children and they only get a few years of believing in things like this…let them believe!
Oh and as for Easter this year – no Mormons will be at church on Sunday. We will all be snuggled in our homes watching General Conference. My sister (who is non-practicing mormon) teased all us that it will be the ONLY Sunday, especially Easter Sunday, in which she will be at church (her husband is a baptist) while the rest of us will be at home :)
Well, if there ever was an illustration to how much my finger is NOT on the pulse of Mormonism it’s that I had no idea it was General Conference weekend. :)
No wonder the inlaws weren’t asking about Easter church clothes…
To say someone lied about the Easter Bunny is such a harsh accusation. Personally, I totally think the Easter Bunny can co-exist with the teaching that Christ has risen. It worked in my home. And frankly, when I was younger, I was already suspicious when my mother told me that the Easter Bunny was in charge of hiding all the eggs. Bunnies don’t have eggs?! Why eggs? Why not carrots? That seemed to be a better fit. So something was awry. I just didn’t know exactly what that was when I was younger. But whatever, I overcame that. I think kids are a lot smarter than we think. With that being said, my mother always reminded us of the sacred meaning of Easter . . . the same with Christmas, etc. Did that change our expectation for Easter baskets, egg hunts, etc. Nope. Did we feel gypped when we talked about the sacred meaning of Easter? Absolutely not.
On a separate tangent, I have a question. In the blog you mentioned that you didn’t go to church but you definitely make sure your children go. Then later you expressed how you believe it allows them to be informed so that they can make a better decision later on. Just curious – what if one day you decide that going to church is the right thing to do and you go back to being devout but your children say to hell with it, would you still be ok with it? Just wondering out loud what it would be like if the roles were reversed. I just find that sometimes when parents are apathetic towards something, they tend to not care as much about what choice their child makes about that particular thing. But if it’s something the parent truly values and believes in, all of a sudden it’s not a choice but a requirement. Your thoughts?
I feel that I believe pretty strongly that church is not for me right now and yet they are devout little souls that ask me to pray at mealtimes (I do) and they border on lecturing their mother about attending church so….I am baffled why you think I would care if the roles were reversed?
I want my kids to be happy. Period. They can be atheist (which I am not) agnostic, Mormon, Lutheran, Catholic, Jewish, Gay, straight, whatever…as long as they feel comfortable and good about their lives and are at peace with the path they choose, I am on board.
I value personal choice. Even I went back to church I cannot see that changing. If I knew that they were doing something that was making them feel truly conflicted and unhappy then yes…it would worry me.
I can see what you are saying and I can see a situation it would apply. I value non-judgement and hate towards others. I WOULD have a problem if that is how they turned out, but I have no control over that you know? I can just try to show them that there are a lot of people in the world and just because someone doesn’t behave in ways they would, it doesn’t make them bad people.
P.S. Again…not offended by the question at all. Just clarifying! xo
None taken at all . . . again just curious. I also value personal choice and try very hard to provide guidance rather than dictation. However, my kids are still very young and they haven’t had to make much life altering decisions if you know what I mean. But as I read your blog, it made me reflect on whether or not I would feel differently if my children started to choose a habit, way of life, etc that differed from my own belief. I get that ‘personal choice’ is a belief but I can’t help but think there are people out there who would throw that aside if their child chose to go down another life path. Just food for thought . . . thanks for your perspective.
My brother and I grew up knowing that Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, etc. were make-believe. We still played that they were real, but it was just a fun game. The reason for this was that my mom, when she found out around the age of 7 or 8, that there was no such thing as Santa, felt betrayed by the fact that her parents had lied to her for years, even the times she had questioned them about whether there could really be such a person as Santa. She felt like she never wanted to lie to her kids, not even about something fun. We’ve taken pretty much the same tack with Annalie. She knows those characters are all make-believe, but we still play the game with a wink, and I think Annalie has such a vivid imagination that even though she knows they’re make-believe she can will herself to believe they’re real. And I’m totally okay with that. :-)
How could anyone dislike a bunny that delivers Cadbury creme eggs? Anyway, if you want to learn the secrets of the jews, please check out our place and you’ll learn a little bit every day! Jewsclues.com
“Jews clues”???
DUDE.
THAT. IS. AWEWSOME.
Personally, I see no difference between Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny, except that Santa has a higher bribe/threat value. Heck yeah, I’m one of THOSE parents.
We did, indeed, fill our kids heads with the pagan stuff as well as the good Catholic versions of Christmas and Easter. We have always kept the imaginary-creature gifts on the nominal side – stocking stuffers and small gifts were all that Santa brought and the EB scattered plastic eggs filled with candy and coins all over the back yard. Our daughters are both in college now and still beg for the egg hunt.
When they were small and would mention that Soandso said that Santa isn’t real, we would just say it was sad that Soandso didn’t believe because it’s a known fact that Santa doesn’t visit anyone who doesn’t believe. Shameless, I know.
I was surprised to hear you say that Easter is a big deal to Mormons since they often run conference weekend over it. Seems odd not to go to church on Easter. Or Christmas, unless it’s on a Sunday. What’s the logic behind that?
Btw, thanks for explaining the cross logic.
Just thought I would clarify…Conference isn’t broadcast over Easter weekend. Easter Weekend changes each year. General Conference is ALWAYS the first weekend of April and October. Sometimes conference and Easter fall on the same weekend…many times they do not.
A BIG reason that Conference is the first weekend of April is because it is close to April 6…the date that we believe to be the day Christ was both born and resurrected. That date holds great meaning to us, so it is a great time to hear from our Heavenly Father through our Prophet and leaders.
Conference is just like church for us but instead of leaving our homes to go, we get to watch our church leaders on the TV or Internet and learn and grow from them. Worship definitely takes place!! We are taught great things and I look forward to learning from my Spiritual leaders.
Non attending christian here, with an atheist husband. (insert long story about faith and husband’s lutheran church becoming a jews for jesus sect before becoming a cult here)
We do the Easter bunny, or we did until the kids asked about it last year. My 13 year old still believed, but then 10 year old questioned. We did Santa and the tooth fairy the same way, probably because we didn’t want to go against the norms.
I grew up in a house where my mom worked EVERY holiday except Christmas, and as a result, after the basket and church in the morning, the rest of the day dragged on forever, because my friends were with their families doing fun holiday stuff. My sister in law asked for a pizza, so we’re bringing one to her on Sunday for lunch, then I’m making Lo Mein for dinner. We’re definitely heathens…
My mom always told us growing up that as long as we believed in the Easter Bunny & Santa Claus we would get gifts. So I was 20, still living at home & I totally believed in the Easter Bunny & Santa. :)
I let my kids believe as long as they want to. Since my oldest is 12, I make sure she helps me keep it fun for the little ones.
Because I’m super irresponsible I left all the Easter candy on my closet floor this week (because lifting it up to the shelf is SO HARD) and my four year old daughter found it. She said to her dad, “are you the Easter Bunny?” He replied that he was (whatever! It’s me!) but that Easter is really all about Jesus anyway. To which my daughter replied, “yeah. Like Halloween.”
Hmmm. Interesting. Somehow I think she is equating candy filled holidays with Jesus. I guess there could be worse associations.
I am a Christian, and so is my husband. Like you we have chosen (more recently) to stop going to church. I have a 9 year old son, a soon to be 3 year old daughter, and a little one due in June. I was raised believing in Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny, and all else. When it was time, and I started to ask questions, my parents sat me down and told me the truth. It didn’t change the fact that they are special holidays, holidays I see as spending time together as a family and doing good for others. My son knows why we celebrate each holiday as it pertains to our religion, and we feel that when he comes to us and asks and wants to know, then we will be honest with him, as my parents were. I don’t believe he’s ready because two years ago he came home crying from my fathers house bc his step-uncle (his uncle was 15 at the time) told him he was a little baby because he believe in Santa Claus. We simply asked my son “do you believe in Santa?” he said yes, that “uncle was just being mean” so we left it at that. When it does come time to tell them the truth, I will ask them to please not discourage other children (or their younger siblings) from believing. Their time to ask will come later.
As for the father that yelled at you and said your parents were liars, I agree with you, he could have had WAY MORE TACT than that with a child of your age. Obviously he was a serious TOOL!
I am Christian (though not religious) and I’ve never told my kids about Santa, the Easter Bunny, tooth fairy, etc. I don’t dig the idea of lying to them, but also I don’t love the commercialized aspect of the holidays, either. However, they know all about it from their friends and even from the teachers at their Christian school, and come home with those expectations. So we go with it, and do the traditions. But I won’t lie to them, so if they ask me, I will tell them the truth. My oldest knows that Santa is us, but for some reason he’s sure an egg-toting rabbit will show up on Sunday.
I’ve had friends give me the “don’t let your kids ruin it for my kids” crap, and I always think it’s weird that this little lie means so much to them. Some day, someone is gonna blow it and tell them. Christmas can still be fun. Sheesh.
Kristen, it’s not your place to decide for someone else when it’s time for their kids to stop believing. Any child, whether they never believed, or have already found out the truth, has to be taught that with the knowledge comes the responsibility. Responsibility to not ruin the fun for those who still believe. It’s not “crap” for someone to not want your children being the ones to ruin it for their children before they are ready to know. Teach your children to not spoil it for others. It’s the Christian thing to do.
The Christian thing to do is to tell my kids not to lie. If you wanna go there. Not at all sure how telling my kids to deceive their friends is a Christian issue. I can appreciate that it is a cultural norm, and I play along, but let’s not spiritualize it.
I wish I had pulled off the Easter bunny does NOT exist thing long ago. I didn’t even know it was an option.
But the real reason for this comment is the car crash analogy. That was a perfect way to explain why we don’t do the CROSS. I loved it and had have never heard it before or thought about it in quite that way.
Can I just let folks in on why Catholics do ‘the cross’ or ‘crucifix’ as is tradition of us? We do, always want to remember the resurrection of our Lord, but the crucifix reminds us of the price paid for our sins. I wear one on a chain around my neck, and feel it’s presence. It’s a very good reminder of why I make choices I do. I know that we all want to make good, kind, sinless choices, but we are human, and some of us (me!) need a prayerful reminder of the sufferings of Christ on my behalf to give me the push I need to be kinder, calmer, whatever the situation calls for. Just FYI!
We totally do the bunny (though I kind of hate it) and all of that. Totally love Santa, but we emphasize Saint Nicholas. My oldest son is 11 and stopped believing in the bunny two years ago, Couldn’t wrap his head a round a giant rabbit delivering chocolates, but totally believes the more human Tooth fairy and Santa (we homeschool). Really, the bunny is completely separate from our celebration of a Risen Lord, and is just a joyful reminder that Spring is finally here.
….we kind of got sucked into the whole Easter Bunny deal. We don’t go to church – don’t really believe much in anything related to church. I think my mom dragged me to confession once when I was seven, when she was going through a divorce and went off the deep end…but, that’s another story :)
I wasn’t going to go near the whole Easter thing but, when your kid starts attending school, they get sucked into it. “Mommy, is the Easter Bunny coming to our house too?!?” If I said, “NO!” I was afraid my son would think this bunny was on par with Santa…and he wasn’t coming to the house because he’d been “bad.” Plus, they had an Easter egg hunt at the school yesterday so, I look like the world’s biggest HO-HUM if I don’t deliver on behalf of the bunny. This year, I caved in – bought the basket, the annoying grass, 8000 pounds of jellybeans and M&M’s…and a light béarnaise sauce for bunny roasting :)
I’m not real happy about it but I want him to be “a kid” (and not one of the weird ones hahaha) so, for now, I’ll play along. Maybe someday soon my neighbor will do me a favor and “out” the bunny for what he really is…
Oh, can I just say.. the Easter grass thing… too much nightmare with nine kids! I just buy the totally throw-away-able pink and purple cellophane they sell at the drugstore in the Easter isle. No grass on my floors at all!
“Out the bunny”….that creates a visual I’m just not comfortable with.
We never believed, though we grew up in a house that was only culturally christian (didn’t go to church unless my parents were being paid to play music, in which case my brother and I got religious babysitting). We were counseled to keep this info under our hats, though, since cousins and friends believed, and my parents wanted us to know that most kids didn’t know that Santa was their parents.
This led to me being SUPER self-important at school one year, informing my teacher “I know Santa’s not real, but I wrote a letter anyway because I don’t want the other kids to find out.” Why we were writing letters to Santa at a non-christian school makes me feel super-bad for the non-christians in class in retrospect, but whatever.
The cultural christian thing meant that we did do Christmas and Easter, though. Chocolate bunnies from our grandmother, easter egg hunts every few years. The upside was that we learned about Easter’s pagan origins way earlier than most kids, so the bunnies = eggs thing at least made sense. I never felt deprived – my parents said that they gave up on the idea of Santa when they realized how often I questioned *everything* as a kid. I think I would’ve been one of the ones who felt lied to, so I’m glad they held off.
HA! You think you were gyped?
No Santa. No Easter bunny. No Tooth Fairy. Nada.
I got presents at Christmas, from Mom and Dad. Chocolate at Easter, also from parents. Money if I lost a tooth, usually “for being brave” while my mom yanked it out.
But I was told right from the start that none of this was real. My parents say its because they didn’t believe in lying to me, even if it was a fun story to believe in.
I have zero idea if I’ll take that approach with my future kids though. That’s a decision between the hypothetical husband and I, I suppose.
Happy Easter!
Why do you not go but force your kids? Sounds kind of hypocritical or something, to make them believe in something you don’t. Like the Easter bunny?
I don’t force them.
They ask to go.
They want to go.
And I allow it and arrange it.
I said I think that exposing kids to religion is important if you are to give faith a true chance.
I don’t want my issues to be my kid’s issues. I’d like for them to make an informed choice about it.
AND…I never said what I do or do NOT believe about religion except that I am positive that church is not the right place for me right now.
We are a Christian family, but have never really promoted or denied Santa, Easter bunny or the tooth fairy.
I am ever grateful for my daughter’s then teacher when C lost a tooth and *ahem* we had no coin to give *ahem*. C told the kids at school she didn’t get any money ‘last night, but I will tonight’ When a friend asked why, a very quick thinking teacher replied “C lost her tooth too late to go on the Tooth Fairies roster, so she is on tonight’s list.” I love that teacher.
I also had C say to me one day when she was 4 “when you buy our Easter eggs, I want white chocolate.” “Do I buy the eggs?” ‘Yeah!” She is now 16 and still wants white chocolate :)
lol
Ok this isn’t the easter bunny.
One day I was around 6, my belief in Easter Bunny, Santa, Tooth Fairy was not very strong but fuck that shit. If someone is going to bring me stuff I’ll lie and say I beleieve in him! Often “he” would forget or uh those treats I should have gotten would have been eaten already (saturday night=alcohol and drugs galore! so munchies! so I’d get up and have a basket. with that fucking grass. yay?).
Ahem anyway. Walking home from school one day a classmate told me Santa didn’t exist. My brother (2 years older) made him stand in a red ant hill. It was then I knew he didn’t exist. However. I wanted to believe… and having just seen Mary Poppins I decided to PROVE that cartoons and movies OMG WERE TRUE. I climbed on top of some cars roof… opened my umbrella CONVINCED i’d float quietly down to earth.
Sadly… all that happened there was a quick fall and some scraped knees.
Stupid santa/easter bunny.
I personally tell every kid that questions it “if you believe they exist. do you really want to take the chance on NOT believing and not getting goodies?”
… which probably lines up with why I believe in God lol
oh yeah, if it was something harmless like that, my parents didn’t have any problem letting us believe in it. like the easter bunny, santa claus, tooth fairy.
i’ve never thought about the cross thing the way you mentioned before. i see what you’re saying.
going back to the easter bunny thing, we really didn’t associate it with the actual true meaning of the holiday. i mean, we knew that on easter, we’d get a basket with candy and a stuffed animal, we’d hunt eggs, and sit down and eat them. then on sunday, we’d have church service and listen to the visiting preacher tell us his version of the resurrection. and by his version, i mean his way of telling it, not the details.
it’s been the same way for years. then again, i’m from the south and live in the bible belt. things don’t change much as far as traditions go around here. only things that change are the hair colors and the styles of clothing. but mostly, just the hair colors. those little old southern baptist ladies really get some wild shades going on.
My first daughter was born and died on Easter of 2000. So Easter has not been my favorite holiday for 10 years. My oldest living daughter was born in March of 2001, and we always do Easter baskets for her and her 6 year old sister. But when the 9 year old was in Kindergarten, some kid told her the Easter Bunny wasn’t real, and she asked for confirmation. Since I don’t like to lie, I confirmed it, away from her sister’s hearing range.
Now my oldest is the “Easter Bunny’s Helper” and she contributes to egg filling and hiding for Easter morning. The 6 year old hasn’t caught on yet, but I suspect it won’t be long before someone spills the beans. Then we’ll stop the egg hunts and just do baskets.
Also, because I am Wiccan, and my daughters are privy to whatever information they want about my religion, they are aware the pagan holiday of Ostara, which Easter’s spring themes and eggs come from, was about 2 weeks ago, and we have already dyed eggs, etc. So Easter has no religious connotation for us, at all, which is just fine because usually on that day I am not feeling my best and remembering my first daughter died on this holiday makes me kinda melancholy.
oh yes, and I decided that the oldest was giving hints about not believing in santa this past Christmas (again practiced secularly), so I sat her down and explained the truth and how the “Spirit” of the holiday, was more important than some guy, or us giving presents.
I also wanted to add that I am like you Loralee. If my children want to follow my religion, I encourage it, but they also go to church with my parents when we visit, and if they are invited by friends to go with them, I also allow it. I am a firm believer of letting my children make their own choices about their individual faiths. As a kid I went to church when the rest of one side of my family did not, and it was fine with me. I applaud you for being free-minded and allowing your kids to make their own choices.
I don’t remember ever believing in the Easter Bunny, so I guess I didn’t believe too late into my life. I’m sure I did when I was little. We’re taking sort of the same approach with the bunny as with Santa. We’re not promoting it and making a big deal about it, but we’re not actively denying it either. And we’ll just see how it goes. I don’t feel the need to push hard for my kids to believe this stuff, if they end up believing it for a while that’s fine too. Our son is only 3.5 so it’s too early to explain to him what Easter is REALLY about, but as he gets older that will be more of a focus around this holiday. And Christmas for that matter.
Tell me what is Easter?
Well I believe that it was made up to represent that Christian authority!
Yet I just appreciated to Easter Baskets and candy!
God is what I believe in and that’s that!!!!!!!VISIT MY SITE http://mskandie1310.mysite
ANYONE whom needs spiritual guidance or someone to listen,Blog with.
I’m a big believer in Santa Clause, and to a lesser extent the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy. My main motivation is that childhood is the only time when one can really believe in something as fantastical and magical as a bearded man from the north pole or a bunny who hides eggs. When my children question me as to the truth of Santa, mermaids, etc. I say that no one has ever seen a mermaid, but that doesn’t mean they can’t exist and wow, isn’t it a lot of fun to believe in something so special and wonderful.
First let me say that David- you crack me up- thanks!
I am up at 3:30am to hide eggs for my 11 (almost 12) year old son who still believes in the Easter Bunny. I am ready to tell him the truth but he will be very very upset. I was really hoping someone would have some great way to break it to him. I am torn because I don’t want him to be made fun of for believiing, but I am afraid that it has gone on so long that he will feel like a fool if he finds out. hmmm. I can hear the question now – ” So if the easter bunny and Santa aren’t real, then is God not real either?” That is how his logic works.
We’ve always told our kids the truth about Santa and Easter bunny. and when I say always, I mean, from the time they are able to walk and talk.
Some might say cruel, but I would argue not.
My kids are WONDERFUL and WELL-ADJUSTED. We use it as a tool to tell them that we will NEVER lie to them about anything. We feel it builds a trust between them and us like nothing else. I kinda believe that my kids secretly love being the only ones in their class who know the truth.
We always tell them they should not lie, if asked about it, but rather deflect. We tell them to say, “Well, everyone believes different stuff” or “You can believe what you want and I can believe what I want.”
Which makes me wonder: why is it practically heresy to tell someone you don’t believe in Santa or the Easter Bunny, but tell them you don’t believe in Jesus and they’re all like, “so?”
Anyway, we are a very religious (Lutheran) family. My hubs is a pastor. So, we always think that Christmas and Easter are very special and magical. A fat dude with a beard or a smelly white bunny don’t make the holiday special or magical. Jesus does.
And, separate story here, but… I had a friend who, when she was a kid and found out the truth about Santa, told her parents, “If you lied to me about Santa, maybe you lied to me about God too. I don’t believe in him either!” Hello? Backfire. Keep it real from the beginning and you avoid this whole scene.
Just my opinion.
We celebrate Christmas with Santa. Because, well, I LOVE Santa! I do tell my children that he is real, because to me he is. He is the physical manifestation of the feeling “we” all get when excitedly shopping and planning for our families. Santa is very real and I just haven’t told my children he doesn’t live in the north pole yet.
But the Easter Bunny…I struggle with that one. I’ve let it go because I haven’t quite figured out how to get out of it without giving up the Santa gig.
I struggle with the visual of a scary, blank eyed white rabbit/man being an aspect of the celebration of Christ’s resurrection. And even this year, my 6 yr. old son asked what eggs and the Easter bunny have to do with Easter. I don’t know. I just told him we’d discuss it later and changed the subject.
Neither one of us grew up knowing much about Easter or the Christ, but since we live in America it would be pointless to try and keep kids away from the commercial part of the holiday – it’s everywhere. I will let them believe in all that jazz, since I really view it more as an imagination thing that might lead to more creativity and just simple plain fun.
Yes, we do the whole Easter Bunny thing. But we don’t do the plastic grass in the Easter baskets. We have a lot of fabric around here as I quilt (when I used to have time). We usually take fabric with Spring colors and pool it in the bottom of the baskets.
We don’t have the Easter Bunny over here in Ireland. I think its American. We celebrate Easter by going to Mass, having a nice lunch and then stuffing our faces with big chocolate eggs. We always have an Easter egg hunt using cadbury’s creme eggs and plastic eggs filled with sweets but not many people do this. My kids pick the Easter Egg they want. They are about the size of a melon and have 2 chocolate bars with them or a bag of sweets. Its all about the chocolate. People usually have a few daffodils in a vase but that is about the height of decorating the house for Easter. I only found out about the baskets filled with stuff for Easter by reading American blogs.
Now as for Santa and the Tooth Fairy, they are totally REAL!!
The Easter bunny was magic when I was growing up and I think I’ll continue that tradition.